Hewo people,
This is silva…and as soon as blaze gets here, I'll introduce him.
Disclaimer: What the hell do you mean I don't own Naruto…!
Bunny
The kyuubi was having a bad day.
Living inside a five year old was not his idea of fun.
The kid didn't think about girls, or sex…
The kyuubi, Jeff, honestly thought the kid might turn out gay.
He could have sworn he'd seen a pony in the kid's dream just the other day.
A pony!
What next? Pink rainbows?
Weren't little boys supposed to dream about giant robots or something?
Jeff sighed. It was time he scared the kid into line.
That night, as Naruto slept, the kyuubi brought him to his sewer-like prison.
Naruto sucked his thumb, big blue eyes looking up at the kyuubi.
"Who are you?" the cute little boy asked.
Jeff bared his teeth, his claws and grinned a grin of pure grin-i-ness.
"I am the one, destroyer of countries, ravager of mountains, the only-"
"Bunny!"
"I am not a bunny! Hey, hey what are you doing? Get away! Get away from m-"
Naruto hugged the kyuubi and snuggled into his fur.
Jeff sighed.
"Okay kid, at least try to borrow my power to defeat someone."
Naruto blinked, "Why?"
"Because they think you're a monster! Because you have no friends!"
Naruto frowned. "Don't care. I have bunny."
"Because they think you're smelly!" Jeff tried desperately. "Because they like that Uchiha boy better!"
Naruto shrugged.
"Because you'll never become Hokage!"
Naruto's jaw dropped and his eyes watered.
The kyuubi felt a slight pang of guilt and groaned.
"That's okay; we'll murder them all and make you Hokage."
Naruto started sniffing.
"Okay," the kyuubi sighed. "Come to bunny."
Naruto squealed in delight and hugged the kyuubi.
"What's mur-da?"
The kyuubi rolled his eyes, "It's what you do to make friends."
"Really?"
"Yeah," he smiled.
Now they were getting somewhere.
He proceeded to explain what else Naruto needed to do to make friends; which included eliminating several small countries and somehow resulted in total world domination… and when he was done; he looked down at the cute little blonde who'd fallen asleep when he started his speech.
Damn it.
The kid was dreaming about ponies again.
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A/N: in reality, we all know little boys dream about unicorns, rainbows and fairy princesses…it's just that all these are piloting the giant robots.
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Blaze! Get your butt in here RIGHT NOW!!!
Excuse me a moment.
Ja ne,
Silva