A/N: I honestly need to get these ideas out of my brain, because they are taking up room for OTHER ideas- Ideas I want to go towards the OTHER story. So I get my, air quote, `flow' back. Its a lot like shooting a paintball gun… (not as easy as it looks..) only less noise, and less mess…*pauses*…. Unless you count those extremely sexy moments with Soul -***gets censored for the rest of the paragraph, since she wandered into perverted fan-girl mode****

Annnd Winter Waltz- just think of when your computer freezes and the irritating hour glass is there mocking your brutal torment- yeah…

That cruel.

This one-shoty has all da boys! And yeah, I'm sorry to all your Liz and Kiddo fans, that's not my gig. I like the couples brimming over the pot of INSANITY. Besides, Kidd needs a little chaos is his life and she's Discordia herself. Well… not with maiming… and massacres…and Well no, she's just… bad. And again I ramble!

Oh yeah, and there is some Spirit abuse, because its no fun when your punching bag doesn't cry ' MAAAKKAAA!" all the time.

I know. I`m a sadist- I mean a saint.

HAH!

Disclaimer: I own nothing…. Not even these socks.

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ROLE MODEL

Title: Daddy's Trait

" A Goochy goochy coo!"

"Oi…"

"A woogie boogie oogie! Wizzy woo!"

"….Seriously…"

"Angie, pangie wangie! A woo woo woo woo!"

"…Can someone please stop him?"

Soul and Maka stared exasperatedly at the older man, making retarded noises, and lame-ass faces in front Angelina, whom was unbearably being tortured by the red-headed old fool. Her wide green eyes, unmistakably the colour of her mother's, stared up amazed at the old man.

Amazed on how un-cool he was.

Maka grimaced. " Soul… why did you invite him?"

"I didn't…" Soul started to defend. " The old coot overheard me talking to Kidd, and he invited himself."

"More like, he just showed up on the front step…" Maka sighed.

Maka and Soul continued to stare.

"He's a lot like a mushroom, you know?…" Soul stared in a disbelieving awe.

" A fleshy, spore-bearing fruiting body of fungus, typically produced on soil or bullshit?" Maka inquired with her text-book knowledge and bitter resentment.

"Yeah…" Soul continued to stare. "Or… once he gets a flavour of something… like, stupidity, he grows off on it."

Spirit Albarn was now playing peek-a-boo behind his hands, while Angelina appeared to be reaching for her rattle.

"I can see why you enjoyed hitting him so much in your childhood…" Soul commented dryly to his wife, while watching the agonizing spectacle. Maka mimicked her daughter's gaze, only she remained slacked-jaw from her father's efforts.

"This can't be healthy for her…" Maka whispered dumbstruck. Soul snorted, agreeing completely with her.

"Yeah, the stupidity may rub off on her…"

"My superior God-Fatherly-ness is greater than yours, cretin."

"The only thing superior about you, you asymmetrical Neanderthal, is the ridiculous decibel account, on which comes from your howling screamer!

" This isn't math class, douche bag."

"Seems like there's a lot of that 'stupidity' floating around…" Maka comment dryly, watching the blue haired ninja, and young Shinigami, head to head in a duel of: Who can spoil Angelina the most- match.

Both Black Star and Kidd were constantly showering little Angelina with massive amounts of gifts. One trying to out-buy the other. At first Soul was touched by their generosity, but now it came to the point he was getting thoroughly annoyed with the male masochists. The gradually-getting-bigger gifts that Soul was having a terrible time trying to find room for, didn't tame that pesky annoyance either. And courteously of Kidd today; he lavished Angelina with a fairly large black and white (symmetrical) bouncing ball, she could sit on and bounce around and break things, while Black Star bought her a electric car she can drive around and crash into things. Maka will love that….

Angelina couldn't even walk yet, for Christ sakes! Or crawl at that matter!

The only people who actually bought appreciative gifts for the tiny kid; were the girls.

Slapping his hand over his face, he looked over to the girls by the doorway. Tsubaki was sipping on her cocktail, looking slightly exhausted. Soul snorted. Well of course she'd be tired. Listening to blue-haired monkey-boy bitch about his superior-ness to everyone, and lugging around that massive heavy box of a car. Soul's mind went back to the car again. Where the HELL was he going to put that…?

Maybe he could lie to Black Star and say it was broken, and return it for… I don't know… baby things?!

Liz leaned against the doorway, a video camera propped in her hand, curiously taping Maka's father making alien noises at Angelina in her cradle seat. While her other hand was occupied with a large pint of beer. Didn't Kidd say when Liz drinks, circumstances get hairy? He looked away, shaking his mind like an etch and sketch, as the image of Liz dressed as the Sasquatch infested his thoughts. That image will terrorize him for the rest of eternity…

And as we enter the Twighlight zone- Patti was leaning against the frame, eating one Tsubaki's home made short bread cookies, extremely…. quiet- hence the bizarreness. Soul's eyes drifted to her stomach, that was starting to get round and protruding. She was smiling bright and sunny, like a sunflower on sunny day.

Except a insane sunflower.

Was Patti not concerned, that her daddy-to-be was clearly a painstakingly thundering Looney? Soul honestly gave Kidd way too much credit.

Tsubaki had given Angelina a cute little pink hat, decorated with Shinigami skulls, to shade her face when Maka and Soul took her out for a morning stroll. But the winner of the gifts, was Liz and Patti's rattler. It was baby pink with zoo animals; mostly giraffes and large enough to drool on. Kidd kicked up a commotion on how 'unsymmetrical' the toy was- he was silenced when Patti walloped it over his head- which both Angelina and Soul enjoyed immensely.

Angelina had laughed up a storm. Soul almost died from the cuteness, when Angelina had laughed. She couldn't quite laugh hard, and strong, but her eyes went all squinty, her rosy cheeks puffed out with her mouth smiling, happy and wide- Showing off her pink gums. She kicked her feet, pulling her blanket up to her face, still smiling.

He could see a lot of Maka there.

Specially in the face she was giving to Spirit right now. It was the same face, Maka gave him when Soul turns out the lights while she was deeply immersed in her book. He loved that fire in her eye. Even when she whined.

'Soul! I was getting to the good part!"

And he just HAD to.

"Baby," he smirked. " I am the good part!"

The pain was all worth it.

The thought brought him back to Angelina.

She was so much like her mother. He looked over to Maka as she interrogated her father. The way she popped out her hip to one side, allowing one of her creamy long legs to stretch out, while she tapped her flip flops impatiently on the floor. Her arms crossed as she glared him down, with her deadly stern gaze. She was biting her lip, almost holding her self back from the need sort to physical violence.

God he loved that woman.

"Papa…" Maka began to growl. " I think its time you gave Angelina a little break."

"Nonsense!" Spirit exclaimed, as he turned back to Angelina, sticking his face back into hers. Maka could only roll her eyes." Angie wangie doesn't need a breaky wakey, does she?"

Angelina's reply was taking her new rattle and sticking it up his left nostril.

As Soul was in the moment of sipping his beer, after that spectacle, he felt the pressure of the beer, nearly burst out of his nose. Snorting away his laughter, he turned around ignoring Spirit's heated glare.

That proved it- Angelina was definitely Maka's clone. It kind of disappointed him that so far, Angelina bear any of her father's traits yet.

But he wouldn't complain.

It seemed Maka tried to hide her snickering as she pushed her father away from the cradle-chair, and reached for Angelina. Noticing his daughter's actions, Spirit turned to Maka giving her puppy dog eyes. But Maka paid him no heed, as she propped Angelina's head onto her shoulders and walked away from him.

"Why don't you start the barbecue, old man?" Soul started as he sipped his beer again. Spirits blue eyes glared darts at his son-in-law.

"Yeah!" Black Star chimed in, before Spirit could open his mouth. " Put on the GRUB! What are ya flapping your trap for? To starve me to death?"

Kidd sipped on his cocktail, rolling his golden eyes. " Wouldn't want that…" he mumbled.

Spirit ignored the momentary ranting of the blue haired ninja, and focused his glare on the white-haired man, leaning against the counter. Soul's crimson eye never left Spirits, almost challenging him to open his mouth again, as he sipped on his beer.

"Listen you--" Spirit's eyes drifted to Maka as she began burning numerous holes into his skull. Not finishing his insult, pointed his finger at the new Death Scythe. " I'm on to you! Just because you're a shiny new Death Scythe, doesn't mean you can talk down to me that way!"

"Papa…" Maka began to warn.

"Jealous?" Soul smirked.

" And don't think you can drink away, and take advantage of beloved Maka and make her pregnant again-"

"She's my wife, ignoramus. And I don't need no alcohol to get away with that-"

"First time was a fluke boy-"

"You callin' my daughter a fluke? That ain't cool."

"You get her pregnant again, and I swear I'll-"

"PAPA!"

"Yes, save me Maka. He's going to 'scold' me…" Soul mocked, wiggling his fingers at the steaming, red-face Spirit. Soul then grinned. " Guess I shouldn't let you know about last nights romp-mmffff!"

Maka's fingers pinched Soul's lips closed, as she glared at him. " Soul." She warned. " No more words."

As Spirit felt seemly smug, it changed, the moment Maka turned around with fire in her eyes. " Papa." She started through gritted teeth. " Get that meat grilling on that barbecue, before I grill you."

Spirit gulped and quickly shimmy-ed over to the back door, to the balcony to start the barbecue.

As Maka, clearly victorious over both males, strutted past Soul with Angelina in her arms, the girls then followed suit. Cautiously Soul bravely approached Maka.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

Maka stopped walking, as did the rest of the girls. But her entire murderous demeanour transformed, as he her pissed off features, switched into a coy smile.

"Angel's hungry." Maka winked at Soul, knowing how awkward Soul was whenever she was breastfeeding. Almost pouty like a child; like a little boy not getting his candy. Catching his slight stunned gaze, the girls giggled as they disappeared into the living room with Maka.

Soul scratched the back his head, pink painted on his cheeks.

"Damn…" Black Star began. " I thought the mood swings were over?" Black Star was unfortunately one of the many victims of Maka's mood swings, when she was pregnant. They were very scary times. He sipped his beer, shaking his head from the scary memories. "Where is she goin' with tiny clone anyhow?"

Soul blushed behind his beer as the images popped into head.

"Breastfeeding."

"With her tiny tits? Can she do that?" Black Star chortled.

Soul glared venomously at the ninja, clearly protective of every attribute Maka had. Especially when it came to her more private regions.

Only he was allowed to make fun of them.

"Actually," Kidd began nodding his head. " From the fourth month of pregnancy, a woman's body produces hormones, that stimulate the growth of the milk duct system in the breasts. By the fifth or sixth month, the breasts are ready to produce milk. Many women's breast grow larger throughout their pregnancy. Milk production operate independently of breast size, and the more a mother breastfeeds her child, the more milk her body with produce."

Opening his eyes and notices Soul and Black Star staring at him strangely. " What?"

"Your like a text-book- with legs! Did you memorize those baby books, I gave you?" Soul gaped.

"Indeed I did. Since I am to become a father, I felt it would be more wise to be intellectually advanced in the field." Kidd reasoned simply. " They sufficiently provided most of the answers to my inquisitions."

"Most?" Soul asked curiously.

Black Star listened closely, as he stuffed his face with shrimp from the shrimp ring. Kidd swallowed his drink before continuing.

"Yes," He cleared his throat. " They were, however vague on some aspects."

"Like…?" Soul pressed.

"Well, for instance… their ability to have a mental break down over a spilled glass of chocolate milk in one second; A threatening attempt to gut their partner with a butter knife, in the next; only to jump their partner, tear off their clothes in the middle of the kitchen floor and ravage them senseless, in the last." He paused taking another sip, as Soul and Black Star stared like deer in the headlights.

Ignoring their stares and Black Star's twitching in his right eye, Kidd continued. " Oh and yes… The craving for pickles and ice-cream, continues to bewilder my mind."

Soul snorted. " Try pickles, macaroni and cheese, with mustard- all together."

"That's…. disgusting dude…Even I wouldn't eat that. Did you kiss her after that?" Black Star paled, not liking the way the shrimp hit his stomach.

"I had to…" Soul grimaced remembering the feral predatory gleam in her eyes, that day. " I survived… after two bottles of mouth wash later."

"Oh man…"

"But like you said Soul, everything you went through was worth it. Especially when Angelina arrived." Kidd assured, mostly to himself, because he was determined to live through the rest of this pregnancy.

Soul's crimson eyes stared off into the distance, as a warm smile came onto his lips. " Yeah, it really was."

"I'm looking forward to it, then." Kidd smiled. " I have quite confidence, that Patty will bear me two, perfectly symmetrical twins."

"Twins?" Soul gaped. " Oh Kidd, you just cursed yourself."

"How do you mean?"

"Think how big Maka was…" Black Star started widening is arms. " Then double it."

Soul held up his fingers counting off his reasons. " Double the morning sickness. Double the mood swings- which I do NOT want be around for- Double the consumption of food. Double the crazy bizarre food cravings-"

"Double the fun!" Black Star over-all stated, giving Kidd a thumbs up.

All boys took a sip from their drinks, a silence thickening the air. Kidd looked worried to hell, while Soul smiled, looking back on the memories, and Black Star deep in thought of something.

"Hey… about the breastfeeding thing…" Black Star started. Soul closed his eyes, fuelling his temper not to hit him, if he said another word about his wife's breasts. Black Star looked up thinking.

"Imagine if Blair was breastfeeding…"

All boys stared off into space, slightly stunned of the image. Soul's mouth dropped.

"It would be like, milking a cow…"

"Who would be like milking a cow?" A chipper but threatening voice inquired.

Soul turned around in a flash to see his beloved wife standing behind him, holding a rather peppy little Angelina. It looks like Liz got a small pink bow in her small, blond curls on the top of her head. Soul's eyes drifted back to Maka, smiling like a fox.

A very annoyed fox.

"We were talking about Bla--" Black Star was silenced as Kidd shoved a beer can in his mouth.

Maka's interest quickly returned back to her husband. She raised a brow as he smiled nervously. The stare was interrupted as Angelina, noticing her daddy, reached out her arms in a playful gurgle. Sighing Maka passed Angelina to Soul.

"I don't think I will be able to breastfeed too much longer, Soul" She sighed.

Pulling out the beer can from his mouth, Black Star grinned. " SEE! Told you! She is too small!"

Maka's head slowly turned to Black Star's direction. Feeling the heat, Kidd grabbed Black Star's head, and forced him to look away from her, before her gaze turned him to stone.

"Oh look at the fine craftsmanship on this mahogany door frame. Simply exquisite!" Kidd gushed, trying to play innocence, when really he should let Black Star get the crap get beaten out of him.

"Why the hell would I stare at a stupid doorframe, you queer-assed-pansy?"

Kidd's distraction worked as Maka returned her attention back to Soul- who had concern written all over his face. Seeing the panic in his crimson eyes, Maka reached up and patted his cheeks, smiling at him, reassuring him.

"It seems…" Maka started before crossing her arms awkwardly across her chest. " That Angelina has one of her father's traits after all."

Soul blinked confused, as Angelina looked up at him, reaching for his white hair. Soul's eyes then widened, as Maka hugged her chest, in mild discomfort. She was actually rubbing one of her breasts. Realization hit him, as a shy smile spread to her lips, and red painted her cheeks.

Soul's cheeky trademark grin stretched across his face, baring his sharp jagged teeth.

Angelina smiled happily too, showing off her two small jagged teeth, growing in the front.

"AHAHA!" Black Star laughed, obviously eavesdropping on the entire situation. " I get it!

Both meister and Death Scythe weapon, glared venomously at Black Star, who was laughing up a storm. The boy didn't know that he was in deep shit, but he continued to provoke his appending doom.

Maka grabbed the phone book from the shelf, in the kitchen.

"Say Maka, how's your tit?"

"MAKA…"

Spirit, unfortunately chose to stick his head through the door at that moment.

"MAKAAAA!" He sang. " The chicken tits are ready---"

"CHOP!!!!!!"

The word of the day, was kept quiet, due to the fact Maka would destroy anyone who mentioned it. Spirit and Black Star, still remained unconscious through the rest of the barbecue.

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A/N: I want to draw Spirit as a mushroom now HAH! Once Angelina gets older, she's going to be quite the sassy little girl with that sharp grin of hers. Looks like an angel, but smiles like the devil!

Haven't planned the next one yet, but I'm sure I'll come up with something.

I need sleeeep!