A/n: Okay, this has got to be the most random thing I have ever done. And it came from the dumbest idea. You know that 'official' manga released over here in the States? With all the comics thrown together? I like it and all, but one of the comics in particular kinda makes me sad. Maya has a kitten, and tries to feed it. With her chest. Yeah. Poor Maya. She's subject to fandom hate even in non-canon settings. XD The comic still made me laugh (yes, I am a fickle person) but, you know. It bummed me out a litte.

But it spurred this. After I've owned the volume for a year. I'm slow. Just for fun, definitely my most light-hearted and so-not-serious piece.

Disclaimer: Ace Attoney isn't mine. So stop looking in my direction.

Chapter 1: Where Babies Come From

x x x x

Maya Fey was not a stupid person. A little air-headed, yes. Flighty, sure. Naive, even. She could admit to that. She wasn't ashamed of her personality. She enjoyed looking on the brightside and finding that little ray of sunshine in the dark of night. What fun was life if you couldn't laugh? If you never cracked a smile, you'd end up looking like an old sour-puss. Look at Edgeworth. So, yes, perhaps she could be a little ditzy.

But stupid, she was not.

She had graduated at seventeen. She had doubled up on courses the last year of highschool so she could graduate early. She had kept up her grades, maintained an A/B average. She had lived in her own apartment that last year of school, and for a few months afterward. Her own apartment. That had to be maintained. Bills had to be paid. Granted, her sister had helped her with that part, but still! She had managed those bills. She took care of herself.

It required sense to take care of yourself. You had to be able to cook without burning down the apartment building. Had to have the gumption to get out of bed in the morning and get yourself to school. You had to clean and keep up with maintenance and prove that you could be on you own, despite being underage.

She had a brain, and she could use it. She could multiply and divide and she rocked at algebra. She could read. Form sentences with a noun and a verb. She could even spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. That alone was enough to prove she wasn't dumb.

There was more to being smart then just book smarts, though. She felt that caring about people's feelings, having empathy and sharing their downs, being happy and sharing their joys, also factored into the equation. No one wanted to be around someone who laughed at their pain or shed tears at their success. And Maya felt she connected quite well with people.

So, basically, she wasn't stupid on any level. Not one. Yet people still seemed to label her as a "dumb blond", which showed how smart they were. Her has was as dark as a raven's feathers. Maya didn't even like the word "stupid". It was... well, stupid. But she could live with. It was annoying and demeening, but she was used to it and had decided long ago to just rise above it.

As irritating as it was, it did sometimes have perks. It provided ample opportunity to have some laughs. And Maya loved to laugh. She didn't want to end up like Edgeworth.

Now, for instance, was one of those times. She was sitting in Phoenix's office, curled up in one of the beige armchairs reserved for clients. The office was closed for lunch, so there were no worries of her seat being taken. Phoenix sat at his desk, a file spread open in front of him, computer sitting by idlely, waiting for a command from the attorney. Pearl was in the backroom, watching the small television and drawing.

Another reason Maya felt she was far from stupid- she took care of her eight-year-old cousin. She didn't mind it. She loved Pearly to bits. And bless her little heart, she had just opened the door and given Maya a golden opportunity. Because she had just walked in and asked the question all children eventually asked.

She wanted to know where babies came from.

Maya had taken the question in stride. Phoenix had nearly choked on his lunch. Pearl's friend from school had just gotten a new baby sister, so Maya had been expecting the inquiry. She had an answer at the ready, the same one Mia had given her when she had asked at age six. She had calmly explained that storks brought babies to parents who were happily married and in love and ready for a baby, because they were huge responsibilities. Pearl had accepted the answers with a wary gaze, wondering how storks carried babies without falling and why bellies grew if birds had the children. Maya had told her that the storks made sure to eat spinach and that sometimes the women had to hold onto the babies because the storks had a heavy workload.

Maya didn't recall ever asking those questions. Pearl was a crafty child. But her answers had sufficed, and Pearl had gone back to her drawings with a shrug. Pheonix had recovered from his near-death experience and chuckled in the child's wake, asking Maya how she was going to answer the questions that would no doubt come in the following years.

Her answer had been a simple, "What do you mean?", and it had been hard to keep a straight face when Phoenix had blanched.

The office was now silent, save the softly mumering television. Phoenix was staring at Maya in disbelief, and Maya was just sitting in her chair, legs folded, a quizzical smile pasted on her face. The attorney opened his mouth, closed it, and continued to stare, his brown eyes glazed with confusion.

Slowly he asked, "You're joking, right?"

"What? That's what Mia told me."

"... You're joking, right?"

He had that look on his face. That look where he was ninety-nine point nine percent sure she was yanking his chain, but not entirely certain. Maya was very familair with that look. She had known him for over three years; it was harder to pull the wool over his eyes. But not impossible. She knew that he didn't think her an immature, mindless drone, but he did tend to treat her like a child from time to time.

Maya forced her best blank look. "Do you know something that I don't?"

"You have got to be joking. Storks? Maya, they're birds."

"Birds that you never see. Because they're busy delivering babies. Right?"

He just stared. "I know you're joking. Cheif told you about the bird and the bees." Phoenix turned his attention back to his file. His head raised seconds later. "Didn't she?"

Maya couldn't believe that he had actually taken the bait. A part of her wanted to sigh and just walk away. That her best friend would think that she really didn't know where babies originated from tore at a tiny bit of her soul. She was nineteen, for goodness' sake. But the thought of carrying her plan through to the end was too tempting.

"Okay, what do you know that I don't?"

Phoenix stared at her a moment longer and then turned back to his desk, picking up a pen and scrawling something across a page. "Not even going there."

Maya leaned forward in her chair. "Oh, c'mon, Nick! What don't I know!"

"Drop it." His voice was firm. Maya was sure she saw a blush tinting his cheeks. She pressed him further. She nearly lost it when the scarlet climbed to his ears.

"Look it up on the internet or something!" he demanded, and she shrugged, moving out of her chair and towards the machine sitting beside him. His eyes widened. "Not mine!"

Phoenix pushed away from his desk, arms in front of him, palms open, looking a little sweaty. Beneath the white coller of his shirt his neck was a speckled crimson and his gaze was on the run, refusing to rest on the girl standing in front of him. Maya couldn't take it anymore. The look on his face was a mash-up of horror, incredulity, and regret. Served him right, but she had achieved her goal.

Dropping back into her chair, laughter bubbling up from her chest, Maya shook her head. "I know where babies come from, Nick! Jeez. Give me some credit." She watched as his expression bounced from relief, to anger, to annoyance, and finally settled on something between wariness and acceptance. Deciding to drive her point home, she continued, "Babies are a direct result of sexual activ-"

"Gah! How did we get on this topic?!"

More laughter from Maya. Yes, she had grown used to labels long ago. But she always tried to look on the brightside of things. A good laugh was always welcome. And if that meant she was stupid, well, then she didn't want to be smart.

Look at Phoenix. He had a law degree. Obviously, being smart didn't mean much, anyway.

x x x x

A/n: I love Edgeworth, but you gotta admit, he can be a grouch. And Nick can be such an air-head at times, especially concerning Maya. I love their friendship, though. I really don't think Maya is as dumb as some people make her out to be, and while that promted this, I still wanted to keep it fun. So if you giggled, my goal was accomplished.

Thanks for reading, feel free to share your thoughts. Good or bad. And just for the record, I bought the second manga volume, too. XD

- L2G