Several trillion miles away, a single Irken Voot Cruiser was hurtling through space with a tense driver and two very annoying passengers.

"ARE WE THERE YET?!"

"No."

"ARE WE THERE YET?!"

"No!"

"ARE WE THERE YET?!"

"NO! Now be quiet back there, or so help me we won't be getting ice cream on our way back, understand?!"

GIR pouted but fell silent. Zim sighed, turning back to the control panel. His PAK-legs were out and fiddling with the equipment.

Minimoose floated over. "Squeak?" he asked.

"I'm trying to fix the communications system! Not only is the hyperdrive broken, I can't even contact the Tallests to tell them where I am!"

"Squeak?"

"Because I did do a diagnostic just last week! Something must have broken it since then. GIR?"

"Nah-ah! Minimoose did it!"

"Squeak!"

"Well, somebody did! Oh, this is a disaster!" Zim moaned, smacking his claws in front of his eyes. "Without the hyperdrive it will take days to get to even the closest inhabited system, and by then the Tallests probably won't even need my amazing piloting skills anymore. And what if those filthy Meekrob overtake them without Zim there to assist them?"

"Squeak!"

"Hyuh? Oh—ha ha. This isn't the time for jokes, Minimoose! If you're so smart, how about you try to fix the communication system instead, huh?"

Minimoose tipped slightly in the air, looking pensive. "Squeak?"

"I already tried that."

"Squeak?"

"Pfft. Obviously."

"Squeak?"

"Minimoose, I am a member of the Irken Elite, trained in the most advanced technology of—advancced technologies. What do you take me for, a newly-hatched smeet?!"

"Squeak."

"YES, I—oh, wait, I didn't try that. Let me see..."

Minimoose rolled his eyes as Zim bent over the controls, pressing buttons with his fingers as his PAK-legs integrated with the central computer. The starfield on the viewscreen shimmered, turned to static, and a moment later turned to the communication screen, the words CONTACTING MASSIVE blinking in Irken letters.

"SUCCESS!" Zim cried, punching the air as his spare limbs vanished into his PAK. "I only hope that my Tallests are still alright without the glory of ZIM to protect them!"

The screen changed to show Almighty Tallests Red and Purple, both with expressions of resigned irritation on their faces. Neither they nor the scene around them looked particularly different than during any usual call.

"Hello, Zim. Time for your weekly status report already?" Red asked wearily.

"Status repo...? No, my Tallests! I am merely calling to tell you I am on my way, and will be at Motelia 6 as soon as...wait." Zim slowly turned his head to the side; Minimoose imitated him, stopping as he floated upside-down. "Why don't you all look more...space-battle-y?"

Red sighed. "What are you talking about, Zim?"

"Yeah, what, huh? Huh?"

"The...battle. Against the horrible Meekrob fleet! Please tell me it's not over already," Zim whined, his antennae flattening.

"Huh? Space battle? Meekrob-huh?"

"Stop that," Red sighed, pushing his colleague off-screen. "Zim, I have no idea what you're talking about. As usual. We're not anywhere near Motelia 6 and there are no Meekrob attacking us. And we wouldn't call you if there were."

"Yeah," Purple said, poking his head back into view as he noshed on a doughnut. "We sort of hate you."

Zim stared. "But...what about the transmission you sent me?!"

"What transmission?" Red was starting to sound irritated now.

"The...the one that...I..."

Zim trailed off as realization hit him. He was silent for a moment before suddely throwing back his head and raising his fists, screaming so loudly that everyone of the Massive covered their antennae in pain.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIB!"

Dib jumped, looking around. "Did you hear something?"

"No," Tak said simply, just as the lift touched down onto the main level of Zim's underground base.

Author's Notes: Today is my birthday. I last updated this fic on my birthday two years ago. This chapter wound up being less than 700 words, banged out in one night. I couldn't manage to write 700 words in two years? Bad me.

I don't know when the next update will be, but I'll try to get it out faster than this one. ^^; Please review!