Death Note A.D.

After Death: A continuation of the Death Note saga by Lady Jiraya

Chapter One: Kiras

He was quiet, staring blankly ahead: thinking, planning, patient–deciding on what Kira's next move might be, so he would know what to look for in Light. It was one thing, seeing what a person does and then thinking whether or not it points to their innocence or guilt; but all humans are tainted by a thing called 'bias.' L was no exception. L. Yes, he hadn't heard his own name in so long, just a single curved Gothic letter, flickering on a white background over a thousand monitors, TVs, and video phones. It made him feel something empty inside, existing only as a letter, but what that emptiness was, he was too far gone to tell. Maybe he should be looking for signs that he was Kira, too.

"I wouldn't put it past me," L muttered–apparently aloud, because Light glanced over from his right, thin wrists still curved back so his slim fingers could type on the keyboard before him.

"Hmm?"

"Yes. There's a three-percent chance."

"Ryuuzaki? Chance of what?" Light asked, impatient, and sounding a little annoyed. He was so childish, so competitive. So much like L himself.

"That I'm Kira," L mumbled into the dark, and Light looked at him quietly. "Well tell me, Light-kun, what are your thoughts? Do you still believe it's possible, that you are Kira and unaware of it?" A delicate china plate was clasped in his hands, hands covered to the knuckle by baggy white sleeves. One of them held a fork, a bite of cheesecake suspended in air.

"After all that has happened–as strange as all this is–it makes sense that I would be Kira." L took that fated bite. "There is too much evidence to indicate that it is most likely me. And yet . . . I don't understand how I can't remember it if I am. Every part of me that is the best of me, that was able to understand the world where others couldn't–every thought in my mind tells me it all makes sense. And yet some part of me just refuses to accept that I did something I can't even remember. Those are my thoughts." Light looked sick, and weak, staring blankly at a spot in the middle of the air, two inches from his face–a spot occupied by nothing but the line of his eyes.

"Yes, I feel the same," L said quietly, looking at him gently as he took another bite, and kept looking, a continual stare with overly wide pupils, a blind man in the dark. "I have another question." His gaze fell to a spot on the wall. "What do you think Kira's qualities would be, as a person? I know we have some clues on this, but I want your gut instincts this time. What sort of person is capable of being Kira?"

". . . Hmm." Light crossed his fingers together. "I've thought about this before," he sighed quietly, to nothing in particular. "My thoughts are still the same. I think Kira would be much like you and I, Ryuuzaki."

"So then you must understand why even I can't be freed from the potential to be Kira. If having memories of being involved in the events is not part of the criteria, then I too could be acting as Kira during off-hours. I am already a secretive person. I have many identities. It is possible that even I might not know all of them."

"Regardless of your logic, I don't think that is something you're capable of. At any rate. I would like to think so," Light said quietly, lest he wake Matsuda, who had fallen asleep at his desk in the control room. L only said, "Hmm," in response, then pressed the power button on his computer, and put his dirty fork on top of it.

"It's a good thing you're rich; that's going to kill your computer," Light griped, sounding more than a little irritated.

"Come on," L complained, and yanked hard on the handcuff chain as he walked off, making Light fall on his face. "We've got lots of work tomorrow. We should go to bed." Light wanted to start a fight very badly, but he didn't want to wake everyone, so he walked sleepily behind up the stairs. The unspoken grandness of the tower laid merely in its existence; it simply was, and served every complex purpose its occupants needed. It said a lot about Ryuuzaki, Light realized, walking up dimly lit steps, repeating themselves in neat perfection. In fact, Ryuuzaki and the tower were almost the same: blank in appearance, practical, yet showing a certain specialty of purpose. Inside there were many rooms, endless rooms in fact–most of them hidden, just like most of Ryuuzaki's mind. Night-lights lined the steps as they walked; the purpose of that was obvious, it prevented one from tripping–but when they reached the landing, Light realized there were night-lights here too, in spite of the landing being well-lit by city lights cascading through a wide glass window–something he had never paid any attention to.

"Are you afraid of the dark, Ryuuzaki?" he teased, while L slid his card-key through the receptor in the doorframe. L looked back, with wide, black eyes.

"Hmm?"

"All the night-lights. I just noticed, there are so many of them."

"I'm only afraid of the dark inside a building. There are too many walls to bump into." With a click the door handle came ajar and they were inside the closest to rest and comfort that either of them knew at this point in time; a simple room with one bed, done up mostly in cream tones, without pictures on the wall, flowers on the wallpaper, or anything else to add a feminine touch. It was a room that simply was, although the care and expense put into it were apparent. This was no hotel room. L lay down on the bed, still in his jeans and everything else, and stared at the ceiling, which was what he did most of the time so far when he was supposed to be asleep in bed. There wasn't much Light could do but just lay down beside him. L had him on a short leash.

"Hey, would it be too much to ask if you could let the cuff off for a bit?" Light asked. "I want to take this shirt off."

"Why?" L asked.

"Well, because it's not comfortable. Do you always sleep with all those clothes on?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It never occurred to me not to."

Light grumbled. "Well that's not the point. I've been sleeping in my day clothes all week because it seemed awkward. Now I've gotten used to you."

"Alright, you can take off the shirt." L passed him a pair of scissors from a drawer in the nightstand. "Here you go."

"You want me to cut it off?!"

"If you were keeping watch over a person you suspected as Kira, would you keep the key on you when you sleep next to them?"

"No, of course not. But Watari has the key!"

"And do you really think he wants to be woken up at four in the morning just so you can get comfy?" L looked amused, a rare event, although he often sounded it. Light sat there, scissors in hand, his face blanched in irritation. "Look, I'll buy you a new one, just as uncomfortable as that one. I promise."

"Fine." Light began cutting the buttons off his shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"Well if I'm going to destroy it, I'm not going to take the time to unbutton it properly!" A button went flying at L's face.

"It's risen to six percent," he complained, shielding his face.

"What?! Why?!"

"Because you're trying to assassinate me with buttons. Furthermore, you're showing exceptional brutality toward an innocent shirt," he said, through his sleeve.

"What a surprise, Ryuuzaki is trying to be funny," Light bullied, and with a final snip the sleeve came off the chain between the cuffs. "Alright, I'm definitely going to do it," the silhouette of Light decided, the lower half of its face slashed with the crescent moon of an evil grin. A hand of dark lines held the scissors gracefully.

"Do what?" L asked.

"Well seeing as I had to destroy my shirt, it's only fair. I'm going to destroy yours."

"What?!" Suddenly Light was on top of him, scissors held aloft, while L lay underneath him and looked up with eyes even more frightened than usual.

"Hold still, I don't want to end up giving you a haircut," Light teased, and L finally stopped struggling.

"This is most unusual," he surmised. "I think Kira would definitely not be the type to attack a person with scissors. Hey, my shirt," he noted, finally realizing that Light had cut the front open while he was busy thinking. "I only own twelve more exactly like this one!"

"You own . . . twelve of these?" Light asked, in horror.

"Yes, they were on special. I only wear one of them, however."

". . ."

"Well. You've ruined it already. I guess you'd better finish what you started," he sighed, and began a staring contest with the ceiling, while Light cut his sleeves off.

". . . You would definitely be passive in any relationship," Light noted, and threw the shirt to the floor. He put the scissors back, then rolled onto his side of the bed. "That has to be awkward with ladies. They always want a man to stand up for them, and act big and tough."

"Maybe that's why I'm still a virgin," L noted, and Light was the one to blush, while L just kept staring at the ceiling, as if he'd been talking about how much he liked donuts.

"Maybe so," was all Light could say.

"You know, Light," he started again. "I think you're wrong. In fact I think you'd be the passive one in any relationship you weren't in just for show," he noted, looking over with a glimmer of something strange in his eyes . . . a glance that was almost coy.

". . . You may be a master detective, but with relationship stuff you're pretty pitiful," Light challenged. "Why do you think I'd be passive?"

"Because, Light. You never go for who you want. You go for who you know you can have. While every other aspect of your personality hints at how competitive you are, you're afraid to go for girls who are anything less than weak. A weak girl will follow you, simply because of what you have, and not question. In short, if we're talking about being with someone you really cared about, you're as much of a virgin as I am."

"What are you getting at?!" Light gasped in fury, and sat bolt-upright.

"Cut a little too close to the bone with that one," L sighed, and closed his eyes.

"I do not do that, in any relationship!"

"Then what about Misa?"

". . ."

"Just as I thought. You go for whoever shows interest first. Well then, Light-kun. What if I showed interest?" Light looked worried, and his mouth curved into a frown.

"I don't know what you're getting at, I'm not like that," he insisted. "I go for girls I like. Misa happens to have this thing for me, is all. As for you. Well L, if you showed interest in me, I'd be inclined to punch you."

"Is that so," he mused, but lay there, and did nothing.

". . . What are you talking about this for, anyways? Are you . . . interested . . . in me?"

"Not in the least," L muttered to himself. "It was a hypothetical situation."

"That hypothetical situation would be really bad if one of us actually was Kira."

"Yes. Especially for the one who wasn't Kira."

"What do you suppose the chance is that one of us has to be Kira?"

"At least eight percent. Which is a very high number."

"And I'm at five percent."

"Correct."

"Well that would be bad for you then."

"I certainly think so. Hypothetically speaking, of course."

"Of course." It was so nice, having someone to play cat and mouse with, to play mind games with, for each to shift reality through their fingers like sand and see who could come up with better items: seashells, pennies, driftwood. Light lay back against soft pillows and turned to face his forced companion in the glimmering city-lights reflected so many floors up.

"Ryuuzaki," he said, at length. "I really hope neither of us is Kira."

"So do I," L sighed. ". . . I have another question," he said, all of a sudden. "That is, if you're not too tired. I need to realize you don't sleep the same hours as I do."

"What is it?" Light asked. "I'm not all that sleepy at the moment."

"What do you want to do once this is all over, and Kira is caught?"

". . . I think," he began. ". . . No, I know what I want to do. I want to work in the police force."

"If that happens, we'd have a chance to work together again, most likely," L mentioned.

"Yes. That would be nice. So, what would you do?"

". . ."

"Well?"

"I would do the same as I always do, Light-kun. I would continue to exist." He sounded exhausted, his body breathing slow breaths, like he was too tired to even keep his lungs full of air. "I would still be out there, doing the same things. I would. But there is a good chance that I will die working on this case. So I might not have to worry about that at all."

"W-why do you think you would die on this case?"

"It's just a gut feeling I have," he said quietly. "Mostly, I use my mind to work on cases. But when they are really difficult to solve, I rely on feelings–not emotions. A different sense. That sense is telling me I will probably not live much longer, and naturally, it will be at the hand of Kira."

"But how would Kira find out your name? Or if it's the second Kira, see your face?" His expression showed honest confusion, and L treasured that, because it gave him just a little more hope that this boy, in spite of the circumstances, was not who he feared him to be. At any rate, this next step would be crucial in determining, once and for all, if Light Yagami was Kira.

"Because I am going to tell you. And you are likely Kira."

"Well if you think I'm Kira, don't tell me your name!"

"I'm only telling you the last part. However, you are astute. I have no doubt that it would be enough for you to find out everything you need to about me."

"Why are you doing this if you have any doubts about me? Why would you risk your own life so definitely?! Just to prove I'm not Kira? What does that matter to you?! I know you want to solve this case, but it isn't worth your life!"

"That's just why I want so badly to solve it, now. I've put you through a lot, Light. Even with all the circumstances, there is a good possibility that you are innocent. And if that is the case, obviously, I must work as hard as possible to prove to myself that it isn't you. Only then can your persecution end. Look at it this way. If you are in fact innocent, and I continue to imprison you and accuse you, or worse, if you are innocent and wind up going before a court through some mistake in my judgment–perhaps even executed–would I be any better than Kira? Wouldn't I be handing out my own misguided justice? No. I think I'm doing that anyways. Maybe that's why I want to prove that you aren't Kira so badly. Because in doing so much for someone, it makes it seem less likely to myself that I could be Kira." Light had never heard this guy talk so much, or about anything so terribly sad.

"So you're risking your life, just because you . . . want to believe in me?"

"And in myself, yes. I am . . . L. Lawliet." His name finally was breathed from his mouth to someone other than Watari, and to another soul he became fully formed as a real human being, not just a fancy black letter, accompanied by a garbled voice.

"Lawliet . . ." Light trailed off.

"Even when I was a child, before there was a need for me to hide myself from the world, people called me L. I've been as you've known me, as L, for a while. But there are many parts of me I keep hidden. I wanted you to know one of those parts. However, please don't inform anyone else. Doing so will make it difficult for those who remain to determine whether or not you are Kira, in the event of my death."

"What are you talking about?! Ryuuzaki–you–you're not going to die, because I'm not Kira!"

"I suppose time will tell."

"How can you tell me a part of your name if you still don't believe me?! It's not like your name is Smith! If I wanted to find an orphan your age, from England, named Lawliet, it wouldn't be hard!"

"And that's exactly why I did it."

"I will make a promise to you!" Light begged, grabbing L's hands, staring him back into his wide, deer-in-the-headlights eyes. "Ryuuzaki. I promise. No I swear. I will not be the one who kills you! . . . What are you . . . ? Are you . . . crying?" A single tear coursed down L's cheek.

". . . I am . . . a coward," he admitted. "I'm just a little afraid of it, is all . . . Of dying."

"You won't die!"

"Everyone dies, Light. You'll die, too. Sometimes I wonder, if I've been wasting all these years. I've done apparent good, but until you, I've made no connections. I wonder if I've really been someone . . . who has made their mark." He glanced up to find Light staring at him, in numb shock.

"Of course you have! You've caught serial killers, solved cases nobody else could have–prevented the loss of countless lives–" The chain between them clinked, links colliding with one another, vying for space as Light put his arms around L. "Look, everyone plays their part, and you've done more than your share. I think what's missing with you is just people to share it with." L seemed frigid in his grasp, completely unused to this sort of contact, but he made an effort to relax and let his hands slip around Light's waist, his head lay against his chest.

"Thank you, Light-kun," was all he could say.

"You weren't speaking hypothetically earlier, were you."

"A-about what?" And then Light leaned down and kissed him, a long, slow kiss. At first L's body was stiff and he seemed terrified, then again he let down his guard and reached up, putting his hand behind the other boy's head and letting his fingerprints caress soft strands of golden-brown hair. He began to feel warm, and safe, a feeling he had never known his entire life, and slowly, haltingly, kissed back. Finally Light's lips broke from his, leaving tingling feelings and a slight wetness on his own.

"That's all for now," Light insisted, looking at him mildly. "I know how it was when I had my first kiss, and when I lost my virginity. I wish it hadn't been as rushed. You are . . . quite a bit like me, Ryuuzaki. I would suppose you'd feel the same way. Am I right?"

"Yes. You are right," he said, looking disappointed.

"What's with that look? We can't do anything anyways, the sun's already up."

"Huh? Oh. I hadn't even noticed that." L felt oddly about this, because he was always the one to notice first when the sun came up, usually because he spent his nights sleeplessly staring out the window.

"We should get ready," Light insisted, and got up, headed for the bathroom.

"This bites," L mentioned casually.