Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable from Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE.

One Thousand Nights

It was the middle of the night—past midnight, probably—and it was silent.

There was still the incessant chirping of the crickets and the occasional rustle of the trees as the wind swept by, but that was all.

It felt odd, being in a city that was so quiet at night. Usually there were a variety of sounds in cities—whirring or clattering vehicles, pattering footsteps, occasional shouts and rowdy singing from drunks out late and unable to find their ways home…

Still, it was a welcome sort of silence. The entire city was fast asleep—partially the cause of the silence, and partially because of the silence.

But Fay couldn't sleep.

Not long ago, nights like these would have found him secure and comfy and warm. But now he was curled up on the edge of the bed, cold and unable to sleep.

He blamed it on the person on the other side of the bed; on the single blanket that was stretched taut between them, not allowing for much warmth on either side.

Not long ago, nights like this would have found them snuggling together in the middle of the bed; not curled up on opposite sides, backs facing each other as they attempted to keep as far from each other as possible.

It was on that very first night after leaving their respective worlds and ending up traveling together with the children that they had developed the habit of snuggling. Kurogane had been so moody, so frustrated that day, and Fay had found that annoying him was perhaps more entertaining than anything he had seen or done in years. That was what had resulted in the silly nicknames; that was what had resulted in their habit of snuggling.

Fay had suggested that they snuggle as soon as Sorata and Arashi had left the room to let them sleep. Kurogane, naturally, had looked at Fay with a mixture of alarm and disbelief before dragging his futon as far away from Fay's as it would go. Fay had allowed him to prepare for bed, doing the same as well. But when they settled down to sleep, Fay simply sat on his futon waiting for Kurogane to lie down. As soon as Kurogane had lain down, Fay stood, crossed the room in quick strides, and was snuggled up against Kurogane's back a mere second later.

Kurogane had protested and fought, but it shocked both of them when Fay did not tease back. In fact, when Kurogane looked back to snarl angrily at Fay, he had found the mage curled up in a ball and clutching the back of his shirt in fisted hands; Fay's face had been scrunched up with his eyes closed as though he were desperately fighting something inside himself. The ninja had absolutely no idea what upset the mage so, but could not find it in him to shove the man away. So it was that with a cluck of his tongue, he had rolled back without a word and let Fay snuggle all he wished.

Fay never told Kurogane that on that first night, the warmth of another body beside his own, one that he could simply hold and snuggle, had pierced his heart like a knife. He himself had not realized how much he desired to simply hold another body and be held in return. When Kurogane had, at least, allowed him half of that, it had taken a ridiculous amount of effort not to throw his arms around the ninja and hold him as tightly as he could. The desire to annoy Kurogane out of his mind had gone without a trace.

That was the night that had started their routine; the night that had been the first in a series of days where Fay teased Kurogane ruthlessly and nights where they snuggled like nothing else mattered. Surprisingly, it had not been more than a few nights after that first one when Kurogane had turned around to stroke Fay's hair a few times before wrapping his arms around the mage as well.

Fay knew that Kurogane knew that every night that they were assigned separate rooms and therefore did not snuggle, Fay was plagued by nightmares—nightmares that never came to him when snuggling with Kurogane. And at the same time, Kurogane knew that Fay knew that Kurogane himself had no idea what had compelled him to let Fay snuggle with him that first night, pitiful or no; nor did he know what had compelled him to roll over and snuggle him back not long after that.

When Fay's teasing had come to an abrupt halt, so had their tradition of snuggling. Fay knew well that he had been spoiled by the absence of nightmares, and forced himself to endure them night after night. Kurogane sometimes awoke to his sobs or horrified cries in the middle of the night, Fay knew, but had better sense than to try and comfort him.

But sometimes, Fay couldn't help but wish that Kurogane would just ignore everything he said and snuggle him anyway. Fay silently cursed himself for the thought, but not before allowing himself a few moments to revel in the daydream. After that he would firmly tell himself that he was not to think that way. He needed no one, and deserved to suffer. Besides, more recently, there had been nights when his nightmares were not quite so bad.

Fay did not realize—or perhaps refused to realize—that the nights when his nightmares were not so bad were the nights when he and Kurogane had to share a room. He did not know that Kurogane had finally lost his patience with the sobs and cries that woke him in the middle of the night, and would sometimes come over to him and stroke his hair, whispering soothing words; his touch and voice calmed Fay's subconscious.

Fay wished there were more sounds. At least if there were sounds, he could focus on those rather than on his thoughts; that would lull him to sleep. With no more than the crickets' chirping, he could only think about the nightmares that awaited him in his sleep.

Kurogane gave a grunt and rolled over.

Fay sat up in surprise and turned to look at him. Maybe Kurogane was unable to sleep as well…

But his eyes were closed when Fay looked at him. His brows were furrowed, and he was drenched in cold sweat. Kurogane gave another grunt and rolled over again; momentarily, he gave a soft sob-like sound and rolled over yet again.

Fay stared at the ninja in surprise: maybe he wasn't the only one troubled by nightmares when they did not snuggle. Fay stared at Kurogane as he tossed and turned, wondering what he should do. Kurogane was keeping to his own side of the bed even as he tossed and turned, and his grunts and cries were soft—so soft that Fay probably wouldn't have noticed them if there had been any other noises outside to listen to—so theoretically, he was not bothering Fay. Fay should have simply laid back down and gone back to his attempts to go to sleep.

Fay's hand reached out as though it had a will of its own. Fay stopped it; but then he found himself wondering if he really could leave Kurogane this way as though it meant nothing to him.

It should have meant nothing; the fact that Fay couldn't bring himself to leave Kurogane was, in itself, proof that he was far too close to another person than he wanted to be. But then again, he already knew that he had let Kurogane get too close to him—this was nothing new.

As he thought about it, hand hovering over Kurogane's head, Kurogane turned again. Fay's hand was buried in the ninja's black hair, and, though the touch had been brought about through no will of Fay's own, the ninja's body leaned into it, calming considerably.

It was just the warmth of another body, Fay told himself. Everyone needed and wanted contact with another body, whether or not they were conscious of it. Fay himself had experienced the feeling that first night when he had jokingly snuggled Kurogane.

In no way had Fay come to relax at Kurogane's touch more than anyone else's. In no way could Kurogane be soothed now by the subconscious knowledge that it was Fay's hand now stroking his hair. In no way was it because this was Kurogane that Fay felt his own mind relaxing as he ran his fingers through the short black hair. It was all just the need for human contact.

Fay tried not to think about what he was saying—deep down, he was well aware that he was lying to himself. Kurogane, after all, did not take easily to human contact. If that hand had been anyone but Fay's, he would have awoken and sprung to his feet in an instant. If Fay had been stroking Syaoran or Sakura's hair, he himself would not have been so completely eased by the contact.

When Fay lay back down, he was at the center of the bed facing Kurogane, continuing to soothingly stroke his hair. Eventually drowsiness began to settle in Fay, and he retracted his hand, intending to roll over and scoot back to the edge of the bed.

But as soon as he had retracted his hand, an arm shot out, caught him around the waist, and pulled him flush up against Kurogane's body. Fay did not need to look up to know that Kurogane was still asleep—it was simply a reflex that came of their long-time habit of snuggling. Kurogane had always pulled him into a snuggle in his sleep when he snuck Kurogane's room in the middle of the night after a particularly frightening nightmare.

The mage considered pulling gently away so as not to wake the ninja, but when he felt Kurogane nuzzling his hair, decided against it. He refused to think of why he was succumbing to this temptation, and instead pressed his face against Kurogane's chest as he used to.

Fay found himself struck by an urge to cry, and was shocked at himself. Had he really missed their snuggles so much? He found his hands fisting in the material of Kurogane's shirt as he held back the tears. Kurogane's hand on his back was making soothing circular motions—a subconscious habit he had apparently acquired on the nights when they were assigned to separate rooms, and Fay would sneak into Kurogane's bed in the middle of the night to escape his nightmares.

Fay drifted off to sleep, burying his face even deeper into Kurogane's chest as he allowed himself to relax as the familiar scent enveloped him for the first time in far too long.

Kurogane cracked an eye open, and upon seeing that Fay had fallen asleep, planted a kiss on the top of his head. Fay always woke earlier than he in the mornings: he had no doubt that the mage intended to be gone before he awoke, and to pretend that this had never happened. But Fay didn't have to know that Kurogane always awoke when he felt his subconscious moving to snuggle the mage on nights when Fay should not have been there—a protective instinct born of the amount of distress that Fay was generally in after a nightmare. Kurogane wiped away the single tear running down Fay's cheek.

He wrapped his arms more tightly around the smaller man and let himself revel in his presence before he drifted off to sleep.