AN: I am ramenwriter15. First of all, I must warn you that this is a fanfic where Deidara is a female. Yes, I know Deidara is a guy, I mean we've all seen his chest. I just wanted to make a what if… kinda thing. Also fans of Deidara don't get angry, I'm a big Deidara fan too, but sometimes it's okay to poke fun at your favorite characters, even if it is depressing. Anyways, please enjoy!

It Ended with a Bang Chapter 1: It's a Girl

It was a normal day in the Akatsuki's secret lair, which was a small hidden black house. Deidara, the youngest of the Akatsuki member, walked around looking at the other members. Hidan had locked himself in his room to perform a ritual, Kakuzu was out cashing in a body, Pein sated by Konan, Konan sat reading a magazine, Itachi was doing laundry, Kisame was washing the dishes, Zetsu was out of sight and finally happy Tobi ran up and gave his senpai a hug.

"Deidara-senpai!" he squealed while pressing closer. Deidara flinched and shoved the annoying teammate off.

"Don't touch me un!" Deidara shouted.

"Aww...He just loves you Deidara" joked Kisame.

"Guess you can't blame Tobi, Deidara does look like a girl" said Hidan as he poked his head out of the room he locked himself in.

"I'm not a girl!" yelled Deidara.

"Fooled me" chuckled Hidan.

Konan broke out of her comfort zone and said, "Stop teasing him"

Of course Hidan didn't talk back to Konan; he knew if he did he would have to deal with Pein's fury. Deidara in the mean time ran to the room were the clay was found. Deidara sighed while locking the door. The truth was Deidara was hiding something, a secret that Pein didn't even know. Deidara was a girl. She was born that way and will always be that way. The jokes made about her being a girl were closer than they thought. Sometimes the jokes made Deidara feel good to know that she didn't really look like a man. She did look like a girl, but she looks more so if she has makeup. Deidara feels it's better to be a man.

She slipped her coat off and took off her shirt, which revealed the wrap she used to get her chest flattened. When she undid the wrap she felt make better though now her chest was very swore. She cursed to herself when she noticed she got a little bigger.

'I'm seventeen I thought I was done growing' she thought angrily. She waited to three am until her next step.

She throw on her black clouded coat and fastened it up tightly for she didn't need the men here finding out. All Deidara wanted was a nice shower to loosen up her swore body and being clean would be nice too. Luckily no one was in the bathroom as usual. Now was the time everyone was in bed, so it shocked Deidara when she heard a voice behind her.

"What are you doing up so late" questioned Konan.

"Konan" she said in her high pitch and then changed it to her fake voice, "Showering"

Konan raised an eyebrow at Deidara, "Do you have a throat problem?"

"Yes, I think I'm getting sick" she lied.

"Get better soon then" Konan stated and walked away into her room she shared with Pein.

'That was a close one' thought Deidara. Though there was something in Deidara that wanted to tell Konan her secret. Konan was a woman, maybe she would understand. But then she could be get angry with Deidara for lying and then tell Pein. She didn't want the men to find out she was a woman because she was afraid of how they would treat her.

She snuck into the bathroom and let her coat drop, which caused her body to stiffen from the chill. She quickly covered her body in a nearby towel and snuggled into it while laying on the tile floor. Deidara stared off and just thought about the consequences of letting her secret out. The top ones being rape and loss of respect.

Automatically, Deidara got up and turned the shower on to the hottest it could get. Steam instantly filled the shower as hot water poured on the white tile floor. Deidara took her hair down and it flowed to mid-back. She didn't like to cut her hair, she liked it too much. Her long hair might be a reason why everyone jokes about her. Though she didn't care.

She stepped into the shower and let the towel drop behind. The shower was a walk in one with tiles on the floor and walls, so all Deidara had to do was to slide in. Hot water moved down her bare body causing instant relief to the swores. She closed her eyes to enjoy the relaxation and went into deep thought. Questions she didn't know popped in her head like what was it like when she was born?

~About seventeen years earlier~

There was a small hut in a town right outside the rock village. The town was known for its horrible crime rate and prostitution. If you were lucky enough to be a boy talented at ninja skills then you got to go to the rock village and become a ninja for them. Some boys didn't make it so they would have to find a living in the run down town. If you were a girl though you would be forced to make money for your family and the only way possible was to become a hooker. In this hut a woman was pregnant with her tenth child. Every one of her children had been with a different man that left her. Each child she had was a girl and they had gone out to make livings for themselves. This child was going to be different though, she just knew it. This time the father stayed by her side. He was a rock ninja and a very powerful one too. He hoped with all his heart that the child was a boy, so he could become a ninja and not have to live in this dump. This man already loved his child deeply, but the woman didn't. She would be glad if the baby was a girl, it would mean more money for her and she liked money. It was also true she was getting too old for her job and would be forced to retire soon. She groaned loudly and grabbed her huge stomach.

"Akira! The damn baby is coming!" she screamed in intense pain.

Akira, the baby's father, flinched at the choice of words this woman used to describe their child, "Okay just follow my directions and will make this go as smoothly as possible" he said while preparing to deliver the baby himself.

When the babe was finally out of the wrecked woman Akira wiped the baby of blood and slime. It was breathing! Akira was glad that his child was alive. The baby had a mop of blonde hair like his and clear blue eyes too. It made him feel better that it looked nothing like the woman that hated it. Then he saddened when he saw that the babe was a female. He wanted his baby to be safe and now as a girl that hope seemed impossible until he came up with a plan.

"Let me see the piece of trash" she panted, "What is it?"

"I want to name it" Akira said.

"Fine" she huffed, "I couldn't care less"

'I need to protect her' he thought as he cradled the baby to his chest to keep it warm.

"Deidara" he told her and wrote the name on the birth certificate he had to make. Then in the gender box he circled male.

"So it's a boy" she sighed.

"Not exactly"

"Give it!" she screamed and snatched the baby out of his arms, which caused little Deidara to cry. The angry mother checked it and confirmed, "It's a girl" she laughed, "You're going to make mommy lots of money, yes you are"

Akira folded the newly made birth certificate and put it in his pocket for keep sakes. He knew that Deidara would need it someday to get away from her crazy mother.

The mother started feeding her new money maker to shut it up. "It looks a lot like you, exactly like you actually"

"She does"

"You ain't going to leave now are you?" she asked sternly.

"No, I'll stay around, but I'll have to leave for missions" he told her, but the only reason he agreed was to care for his daughter.

"Whatever gets me money for this thing, until she's old enough to get out there" she commented rudely.

"I think that will have to wait"

Completely ignoring his comment she asked, "Why'd you give a girl a boy's name?"

"I like the name" he said, not telling her the whole truth.

"I hate it! Change it!" she demanded.

Akira couldn't allow his daughter to face harm so he yelled back, "No! Take the name or I'm leaving you and the baby!" In reality he would never leave his baby girl.

What Akira said had caused the woman to shut her yap and think for once. "Fine" she sighed in defeat, "But I'm calling her Dei"

"That's fine by me" he replied. Truthfully, Akira hated the woman who was called Kimiko the giver on the streets. His worst mistake was sleeping with her, but at the same time it was the best. If he didn't sleep with Kimiko he would have never gotten Deidara as a daughter. Now Deidara was all he lived for and the only importance. If he ever failed to protect her he could never live with himself. He watched in silence as his blonde bundle of joy drifted to sleep.

~About seventeen years later~

Deidara opened her eyes and longed to know what her birth was like. She had a feeling it wasn't a happy one. The hot water caused her to drift off again and she closed her eyes.

Then she heard the strangest thing, it sound like…footsteps! Deidara shot her eyes open and through the steam saw an orange mask wearing man with only a towel wrapped around his waist. There was Deidara standing bare in front of him. Deidara's first reaction would have been to scream, but she knew that would cause more people to come. She quickly covered her chest with her arms and thought franticly, 'I forgot to lock the door, I forgot to lock it!! Tobi knows!'

Tobi stepped forward which caused Deidara to tremble. She was afraid! Tobi's bare hand brushed against her cheek and he leaned in so close that their legs touched.

"I already knew" Tobi said in a voice that Deidara had never heard from him. Tobi then left as quickly as he came.

She was still trembling as she sunk down to the wet tile floor. Blonde hair stuck to her face and she brought her knees to her chest. Warm tears ran down her hot cheeks as she quaked harder. 'Not again, I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to do that again' she cried in her head. Deidara let the shower run till it turned cold while she cried to herself.

-End of chapter, to be continued-

AN: First chapter completed at 1:48 am. Hope you enjoyed it and I ask you if you would kindly REVIEW!!! Tell me what you thought, okay? The more reviews I get the faster I update.