Author: Dillick
Rating: M
Characteristics: (YAOI: Axel X Roxas, A.U. Lemon)
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the associated articles. Also I do not own any songs mentioned as they belong to their respective owners
SALIGIA V. GULATHEME: "Fields of Gold"- Sting
Gluttony
There it was. Out in the open. Exposed. Roxas was sure that he'd thrown the apple of discord, now all he could do is watch it roll into Axel's hands. He trembled, feeling the cosmos spin out of control into a boundless chaos. As though all the dark energies that exist in the world were swallowing his very soul as those words departed his mouth.
"I… forget I said it… please…." Roxas began to sob. His knees buckling beneath his weight, he slumped to the wooden deck.
"…" Axel was listless as he listened to the utterance of those words.
"I'm sorry…" Roxas' tears stained the wooden boards beneath him. His head was bowed so that it appeared that he was groveling at Axel's feet. And in fact, he was pleading for Axel to forget. But he couldn't.
The last sliver of sun was dissolving on the horizon as the two forms stayed set on the patio. Axel was bubbling over with emotion, but he couldn't bring himself to unleash the torrent of strong feelings upon Roxas. This was his best friend… his only friend. And yet those three words still buzzed like a gnat in his ear. They were digging into his ear, into his thoughts, into his soul. They were mingling with the butterflies in his gut until suddenly like an eruption; he spat forth everything that had been bottled up.
"Roxas… I feel that way too. I love you. And I never want you to leave me. And I want to be with you as long as I live. And I want to look into those eyes everyday. And I want to hold you while you sleep. And I want to grow up with you. And I want to tell you everything. And … And… And… I love you…" Axel trailed off, looking down at his friend who was still quivering upon the deck. His hands were clenching the deck.
"What?" Roxas blurted out. He was completely confused. He had been expecting the absolute worst. What he got was something totally unexpected.
"I-LOVE-YOU." Axel stated promptly.
"But- But… what about?"
"What about what?" Axel smiled, looking down at Roxas who was now looking up at him.
Roxas looked back down and mumbled. "What about what your step father put you through?"
Axel frowned a bit. Then with a shake of his head, he smiled, kneeled down so that he and Roxas were at eye-level, and then he laughed. "That's in the past. I told you… because you're the only one who I can trust. You're the only one who ever made me forget. That's all I want."
"Huh?" Roxas stared into Axel's sea green eyes.
"All I've wanted was to forget. To feel… normal, ya know? And… when I'm with you, I don't remember it. Heck, half the time I can't even remember my name when I'm around you. And when I talk… you actually listen. You understand, because you've been just like me for so long. Whenever I'm with you, I'm relaxed. Nobody else can do that but you. And that's why… I never want to be without you." Axel couldn't help but let a tear slip from the corner of his eye. He didn't understand why, but he knew that he couldn't hold anything in anymore.
The sun was now completely out of sight, and the sky was a beautiful blue-violet. The stars could be seen glimmering brightly above. Crickets were humming their eloquent songs. Roxas and Axel were both smiling and both crying as they sat there on the deck.
"Ha ha ha ha…." Axel was laughing.
"What's funny?" Roxas couldn't help but smile.
Axel wiped the tears from his face and flashed his biggest grin. "Why are we crying?"
Roxas laughed at that. "I don't know!"
The boys both laughed for a long while before returning to their feet. Roxas turned and looked out over the balcony. Axel stood behind him, looking out from over his shoulder. The breeze was still comfortably warm and smelled of lavender and fresh air. Axel couldn't help but breathe in deeply that all too familiar sticky sweet scent that Roxas always held. Roxas didn't mind the fact that Axel's chest was pressed against his back. In fact, it felt rather enjoyable as they stood, looking out at the evening.
"Axel look!" Roxas opened his mouth in awe and pointed his index finger out at the hundreds of glowing orbs that were swirling about in the summer air.
"Fireflies." Axel smiled, wrapping his arms around to meet with Roxas'. Their fingers laced together in an odd, yet natural feeling grip.
"Their so pretty." Roxas murmured. He liked this feeling of closeness… of safety.
"Yeah. It's like their dancing."
"That's cute." Roxas smiled.
"What?" A tomato-red blush crossed Axel's features.
"You." Roxas smiled and leaned his head back into Axel's shoulder, feeling the warmth of his friend much more inviting than it had been.
"If you say so." Axel breathed, allowing his fingers to rub gently between Roxas'.
The two boys watched as the clusters of intermittently flickering insects tumbled and zigzagged whimsically through the night air. The full moon glowed a pale incandescent radiance that could only be described as romantic. The soft whispers of wind grew slightly colder, but not unbearably so. A few soft wispy clouds slowly crept along the heavens, but for the most part the celestial bodies were easily visible. Roxas laughed. Everything felt so perfectly out of place, that there was nothing else he could say. Axel was warm and embracing him. He'd never noticed how much bigger Axel's hands were in comparison to his own, until now.
"Hey Axe?"
"Yeah Rox?"
"Don't ever leave me."
"I was thinking the exact same thing."
"I won't if you won't." Roxas snickered.
"Then we won't." Axel reaffirmed. Roxas didn't know why, but something about the way Axel said "we" made him tingle inside. As if he had said some magic word that could instantly make Roxas melt in his arms.
"You ok?" Axel asked, feeling Roxas go semi-limp in his arms.
"Yeah." Roxas chuckled, coming back to his senses. "I'm just fine. Now that I have you."
Axel chuckled too. "You've always had me… and you've always been fine."
Roxas closed his eyes. He was trying to memorize every little detail, every tiny fragment that composed this moment. The crickets chirping. The lavender scent. The cool air. Fireflies mating. The full moon shining. And of course, Axel's hands neatly betwixt his own. It was almost too rich, too extravagant, too much for his senses. But only almost… and that was just enough. That moment was just enough. That moment was love.
But the night hadn't ended there… rather… that moment was just the beginning of an unforgettable night.
TBC
A/N: Okay so yet another short chapter. But on the flipside I ended the cliffhanger suspense! This time I sort of randomly ran into the theme, got reacquainted, and remembered how much I love it! Many of the details sort of came to me as I was listening. Trust me… this story does not have an M rating for nothing… I still have another two chapters to go! Things'll heat up fast I promise! Just hang on with me, k? Please R&R (can't explain how important it is to hear from you!) and thanks so much!
Dillick
AKA
~Dilly~