A/N: Sorry for the delay. Not sure if anyone's still reading but here's the latest.

Interlude:

2260

Jim,

As always, it is a pleasure to hear from you although I must admit that I am hesitant to respond to the question posed in your last transmission.

You must remember that my time, the universe which I come from and the life that I led, does not and should not have any weight upon your own. It is my most sincere wish that the events and emotions you experienced during my admittedly hurried attempt at a mind-meld on Delta Vega have no effect over the decisions you make now. They should not be your roadmap in this life, nor should they be your shackles. I know you think it unnecessary but again, I apologize.

I do not know the reason why you have only now chosen to ask this of me though I have my suspicions. It is with some trepidation that I give you my answer.

I knew of an Anna Demerin in my time. Doctor McCoy had a brief correspondence with her prior to his tenure at Starfleet Academy. It was one of his very few regrets that they were not able to meet in-person.

Anna Demerin was born and raised in New York State. Considered a child prodigy, she excelled in mathematics. However, instead of pursuing an obvious career she became a respected biologist of no little fame. Her work in nanotechnology, specifically with regard to neurological disorders, was highly regarded. She was a prolific writer and her research led to numerous advances in biotechnological treatment protocols.

She died in 2260 of a blood infection at the age of twenty-six. She was survived by a husband and a son.

These are the facts of her life as I remember them.

The following is not fact- you must remember this.

There were rumors that she had ties with Starfleet Intelligence and the creation of biological weapons. I did not delve too deeply in those matters although I did hear in passing that her death may not have been natural, as was reported. While I gave no credence to these rumors, I will note that a few months after her death, the head counsel of Starfleet Intelligence was brought to trial for ordering a genocidal strike against a unnamed alien faction. Starfleet Intelligence, as it is now, was quite powerful and the charges were dropped. Leonard had mused once that if indeed Doctor Demerin was working with the organization, they would have retaliated for the death of such a valuable resource.

I'm afraid Leonard was given to gossip; he was as fond of reciting it as he was of receiving. In truth, I miss him dearly.

I understand that in this time there exists an Anna Demerin who grew up in your hometown of Riverside. Based on your line of questioning, it is only logical to assume that you and Anna are connected. Also, I cannot help but notice that the date of her death in my time and the current date are drawing to a juncture.

My friend- what has happened in that other reality is not necessarily a precursor to events here. Though you are not the same person, I fear you share the same impulsiveness and loyalty possessed by the James Kirk I knew. Anna Demerin may have died in the 2260 of my time but that does not mean the same now will be true. Please consider this point as I suspect that your concern for your friend may lead you to unwise actions on her behalf.

I wish you well, Jim. Please relay my greeting to my younger counterpart and to the good doctor.

Be safe.

-Spock

###

2257

"I know what Shiri told you before we left."

Matthew leaned against the entry way to the lab and watched as Anna studied tissue samples on the electroscope sheet. While part of him was irritated that she wasn't at home resting as she should have been, as he'd ordered her to, he wasn't surprised. Anna didn't unwind like the rest of them did. In fact, most times it seemed that she barely needed to rest at all.

"Of course you do," Anna muttered, without looking up. She showed no sign of being startled by his presence and her hands were steady as she slid the sheet past the bio-field and into the scanner. "I put it in my report. Everyone knows what the High Priestess predicted."

She was wholly focused on the task before her but Matthew had no doubt that she was aware of his proximity. He had seen the very slight way Anna's head tilted to the side when he stepped through the lab entrance and the way her neck muscles tensed as he made his way towards her. She often feigned ignorance or indifference as a tactic to disarm people but Matthew knew better. The more detached or apathetic she seemed, the more the opposite was true.

"You know, you're being remarkably calm for someone who's been told that they only have three years to live."

"Actually, she said I'd die before the seventh year of my second decade," Anna said, adjusting the sheet slightly. She glanced at the screen above her and moved the sheet to the left. "It was really rather poetic. Then again, the Lhashars are known for their poetry."

Matthew huffed and almost rolled his eyes. It was hard to deal with her when she was determined to act as if nothing bothered her. It was difficult to tell whether she was truly unconcerned with the High Priestess' prophecy of death or if she was fighting against it. Anna didn't wear her emotions on her sleeve and it was only by virtue of having had known her for years that Matthew knew she was troubled.

But about what?

"So you don't believe any of it," Matthew said. "You defy augury, is that it?"

"'If it be not now, yet it will come,'" Anna recited. "Lovely. Now you're referring to Hamlet. You've been hanging around North too much, Ven."

Matthew shook his head. "You may not be worried Anna, but we are. Your friends are."

"Bishop had the research team analyze the wording of the prophecy and look into the history of the Lhashtashar," Anna said, still not looking up. "You know as well as I do that most pre-cogs have limited sight. The nerd squad said I had nothing to worry about. Shiri's abilities only extend as far as her people are concerned. We're light-years away from them, Ven. Out of sight, out of mind."

"So does that mean you're a blind idiot?"

Anna's lips curled up into a half smile but she continued working.

"Ouch. I could reprimand you for insubordination, you know."

"And I could file a complaint against you," Matthew said lightly. "Failure to submit to a direct order by the Tabernacle medical officer."

"Stalemate, then," Anna said. "Except I did comply with your orders. I rested. When I was done, I came here to finish up this experiment. No use in letting it sit around gathering dust."

"You took a twenty minute nap in the past two days. That doesn't count as resting."

"Let me guess- Paloma tipped you off," Anna said. She punched in commands on the console, her brow slightly wrinkled with concentration.

"No, that was me and Trig," Matthew said. "Bio-sensors coming in and out of your apartment and your HQ room. You should know that your neuroactivity patterns are off."

"Duly noted, Doctor," Anna muttered.

"Paloma was the one who tipped me off to the bad dreams."

At that, Anna sighed and closed her eyes briefly. She turned the scanner on and finally faced Matthew, pulling off her gloves and her eye protectors. She placed them on the counter beside her without glancing down, her gray eyes fixed on his.

"I guess I should be flattered," Anna said. "I'm still waiting for you to mention the tracking device in my communicator, by the way. I expected more from the both of you."

"We weren't trying to hide them," he said, moving forward. "I'm surprised you didn't bring them up sooner."

"I'll go home after I run these diagnostics," Anna said. "Look, you can give me a sedative if you really want to and I'll even let you keep the toys up around my home. At least until the next mission. I'm fine, Ven. Really."

Her tone was sharp but her normally impeccable appearance showed signs of strain. Matthew could see the faint blue of veins under her skin and the vessels in the sclera of her eyes were dilated. He had no doubt that Anna could keep going, keep charging through the hours like a robot, but she no longer had to. After all, her team was safe and their last mission was complete. Yet there was something else weighing on her mind that prevented her from being able to turn it all off as usual.

His hesitance must have shown on his face because she crossed her arms and leaned on the counter as the machine behind her whirred.

"Look, Shiri was just pissed that I decided not to stick around to be her FI plaything or her adopted daughter or whatever the hell it was she thought I could be. She was angry and she decided to give me a reading and some sort of vision of another life I could have had. It's all smoke and mirrors, Ven. Prophecies of death from alien creatures are vapors- you'd be smart not to chase them."

An image of the High Priestess of the Lhashtashar flashed through Matthew's mind's eye: small and fragile, with pale gray skin and a soft, almost sweet smile. She had been incredibly old and apparently very wise. He hadn't liked her- there was nothing to like about a creature that would offer the lives of her rivals for a trade agreement with the UFP. Still, she was a powerful seer who had taken an interest in Anna. Something about the Colonel had struck the Priestess' fancy and when Anna turned down her invitation for an extended stay, Shiri had given her a "gift".

Paloma once told him that in ancient German, the word gift also meant poison.

She gave Anna a reading and...

"What vision?" Matthew said suddenly. "I don't remember you mentioning a vision when I looked you over."

Anna rolled her eyes and sighed.

"The one I reported to Bishop but locked," Anna said, "because I knew you and everyone else would react badly to it."

His unease grew to a near panic at the thought of Shiri had done. Neurosuppressants typically reacted badly to any sort of telepathic interference and he hadn't yet been able to pin Anna down for a full physical. There could be a bomb in Anna's head, just waiting to go off. For all the FI's training and bio-engineering, they really were fragile creatures. It was hard to track for all the variables even though Anna pushed him to perfect each version.

"Paloma didn't say Shiri touched you. What did she show you?" Matthew demanded. He stopped himself from pulling out his tricorder and scanning her at that moment but just barely. "Jesus, Anna, if it's anything like a Vulcan meld, you're in for some serious mind-fuck issues because-"

"It was nothing like that. Calm down," Anna said and there was no mistaking the order in her voice. Matthew took a deep breath but clenched his jaw, willing her to go on.

"Shiri's strong," Anna said after a short pause. For the first time since they started talking, she looked uncomfortable. "She didn't need to initiate physical contact to show me... what she did. It was a form of mental projection. Bishop thinks it was a ploy. She thought I'd be interested in preventing my death in this life by staying with her. When I didn't, she decided to show off a little more of what she could do."

It made sense then. It explained the rage that Paloma felt towards the Lhashtashari. She had said that Shiri's gift had been meant in earnest goodwill and that the other creature had felt pity towards Anna. As if she were doing her a favor.

Matthew knew in his gut then that Bishop was wrong. It hadn't been a ploy or a chance to show off- Shiri had meant everything as a sort of twisted kindness. It made Matthew hate her even more and did nothing to lessen his worry.

"What did Shiri show you?" Matthew pressed on. "That's why you've been on edge since we got back, right? I don't even know what to tell you, Anna. I can't believe you didn't say anything this whole time. Did you even consider what could have happened? You could have crashed and I wouldn't have known how to properly treat you."

"I scanned myself before we even left the planet, Ven," Anna said. "You had your hands full with making sure everyone else was-"

"You're my first priority," Matthew said firmly.

Anna closed her mouth and stared at him.

As soon as he said the words, he felt his cheeks begin to flush but he stopped his reaction from continuing further. It was true that as the team medical officer, Anna was at the top of his list in terms of treatment and she knew this. But there was an unspoken implication in his statement that went beyond duty.

Anna studied him in silence and he felt her gaze like it was a physical thing. She was only twenty-three; not the youngest lead ever of a special ops team within the FI but certainly one of them. Despite her youthful appearance though, there were times when she seemed far older than her years. She very rarely smiled and when she did, there was an odd bitter cast in her face. She wasn't the same girl, who at twenty-one aimed a phaser at the head of her commanding officer; brave enough to defy his orders but scared that she would stand alone in doing so...

As the years passed, she grew more withdrawn and distant, drawn further into a world of secrets as Bishops pushed her up the ranks.

There were many who thought Bishop was interested in religion but the truth, as Matthew saw it, was that that he was a chess player. Anna was one of his winning pieces, his protégé, and it was clear he was grooming her for a role in Starfleet Intelligence. They all understood that the more Anna knew, the less she could tell them but she led Tabernacle with a firm hand. If Bishop was moving to elevate her role, then she would take them with her... but the weight of command was one she'd have to bear alone. Nothing Matthew, Trig or Paloma could do would change that.

Guilt mingled with worry and anger made Matthew's stomach churn. He chose not to take as many suppressants as the rest of the team did but not for the first time did he re-consider his decision.

Matthew took a deep breath and forced himself to look her back in the eye. "I only meant-"

"I had a son," Anna said simply. Her face was carefully blank and her gray eyes watchful, as if anticipating his reaction. "And a husband. In another life. Some alternate reality where my father never moved us to Iowa because the Eco-Reclamation period happened much later in time. I grew up in the east coast and I died there too, Ven. Same age."

Another long silence passed them and Anna's gaze never dropped. She was clearly waiting for him to say something, waiting for his defiance of Shiri's vision but he knew she didn't need that. And he knew that she was drifting further apart from the rest of them, no matter how hard they tried to hold onto her.

No matter how much she didn't want to.

And this is all my fault. My greatest regret.

Why I joined Tabernacle. I owed her that much and more.

Matthew lowered his eyes and looked at the screen. "So what are you working on? Do you need my help?"

Anna's eyes widened and then she smiled slightly. Her face shifted into an almost soft expression and something inside of him ached at the change. Anna Demerin wasn't completely gone then.

Not yet.

"I'll always need you, Ven."

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