Besarki: It's usssss! WE RETURN! WRITING TOGETHER THIS TIME! So, if you don't understand, I, Besarki and Smart Angel are writing this fic TOGETHER! It's like a combination of styles! I've never cowritten before, though, so I'm the newbie here and she's the senior. Meh. I'll leave the rest for her to touch on. She's quicker thinking than I am...
Smart Angel: We are working together now! So if you read some of our fanfics, imagine her stupid cliff hangers and humor, plus my cliff hangers and angst and that's what you can expect of this fic! *laughs* This should be fun!
Disclaimer: We do not own Shaman King or any related elements. However Besarki owns a bad temper and Smart Angel owns an obsession with Hao! But besides that, we have no ownership. Darn.
The sun shone brightly over a tiny school building as its many little inhabitants piled out of it.
It was a Friday in Tokyo, Japan. The weather was nice for winter, but it was still cold. Heavy jackets and boots were worn by every one of the children.
For every child, there was a parent or two who walked beside them, holding their hands as their son or daughter told them about their day.
All but one.
Asakura Hana sat on the cement brick wall beside the building, swinging his feet and watching the families pass him by. His parents weren't here yet, but he wasn't worried. They'd be here. They promised.
It's been 4 months since he found out about his real parents. It was a shock, to say the least. His mom wasn't really his mom... His dad wasn't dead...
Hana let out a sigh, seeing his own breath coming out of his mouth. He remembered how angry he felt. How sad he felt. Was a 6 year old kid suppose to feel like that?
How long did he stay without coming out of his room? A week? He didn't know or cared.
His parents had messed up. They'd abandoned him, they'd lied to him, they'd made compromises that they had no intention of keeping. It was hard to forgive them for it, but he tried, despite himself. He'd lost count of the number of times they'd said that they'd do something with him then end up canceling because they were "busy" or they forgot.
It was aggravating and it was annoying, but he constantly reminded himself that they were trying.
His parents, Asakura Yoh and Asakura Anna didn't have much experience in child care. They'd cared for him briefly, but had left shortly after he was weened, which ended up being earlier than most babies.
Tamamura Tamao took over for them, but she just lied to him to, so, in the long run, she was just as bad.
He wrapped his arms around himself and did his best to suppress a shiver.
They were just a little late, he assured himself. They were coming, they were just late.
They would show up soon. Very soon...
Hana looked around. Another parent had showed up to get their kid. The mother smiled sweetly, holding his hand while the father gave him a hug and spun him around in the air for a few seconds, like they haven't seen the child in years...
Why didn't his parents do that with him? Didn't he gave them the opportunity? Every time before going to school he would knock on their door to wake them up so they could bring him to school. Would ask their help to tie his shoes, even thought he knew how to do it by himself since he was three years old. He would follow them around and give them the drawings he made during class... Sure, he knew he was a hard kid to deal with, with all his temper but... God, they wanted to be his parents, then why did they screw up every single chance Hana gave them?
No, stop. Don't blame them, he thought, looking up to the floor and then to the sky, they are trying... They are trying... They were just a bit slow. They would come. They promised him they would come today, and soon it would be him holding his mom's hand and it would be his father spinning him.
He smiled... Yes, his parents screwed up big time. They abandoned him and were really bad parents now that they were back. But soon they would come around. Soon.
Soon...
Seconds soon turned to minutes, and minutes soon turned to over an hour.
His shaky smile remained fixed on his face even long after everyone had gone.
They were coming, he reminded himself, they were definitely coming...
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone approaching the school. His face lit up for a fraction of a second, and then it fell.
Apologetic eyes met his own and he knew immediately what had happened.
They weren't coming.
They did again! They forgot about him again! They screwed up again! They abandoned him... again.
"I'm sorry, little boss." Ryu came close to him "Something came up, they couldn't make... They said they were sorry, and promised that they would definitely come get you tomorrow."
Promised. They promised that they would definitely come get him tomorrow. Just like on the night before they promised they would pick him up today.
Yet, they didn't come. He fell for that promised... Actually, he fell for their stupid promises and their lies! He had given them too many chances! They promised him they would come tomorrow...
Like he was going to fall for that again.
Standing up, ignoring Ryu, he marched toward the truck, his hands forming tight fists as he tried to hold his tears back. No, he wouldn't cry. Not for them.
"Let's just go, Ryu," Hana said, as he opened the door to the car and slammed close, crossing his arms and looking straight ahead.
Liars, that's what they were. Just liars.
The ride home was quiet.
Ryu glanced over at Hana several times, but he just kept quiet and glared balefully at the front window.
It was snowing now, and the roads were getting bad. Ryu drove slower than usual, which was fine by Hana. He had absolutely no desire to get home and see his failure excuse for parents.
Ryu tried to comfort him. "You know, Hana, they really did try to come get you."
Hana snorted. "Whatever, Ryu. Just get us home."
The elder turned back to the road, a deep frown present on his face. Hana saw it, but didn't recant. He meant what he'd said.
When they finally got to the Inn, Hana just opened the gate and marched inside, opening the door and then going straight for the stairs. He didn't want to see them at all. He just wanted to go straight to his room and stay there, alone, calming himself down.
Up until today he believed that they would come around, that they would be good parents, that they just needed some time. Or at least that's what he kept trying to tell himself.
But how many times have they hurt him already? He lost count. And all he did was put a fake smile and give them another chance. Another chance that they would fail at again.
Hana knew that even though they apologized and "really did try to come," and that they promised they would be there tomorrow, it would be the same as today. They would break their promise again, find another reason not to come, forget him, find something that was more important. And then they would make another shallow promise. It would just keep going on and on...
No, he wouldn't fall for it again. Today was their last chance to try to act as parents.
And they failed.
"Hana-kun!" He heard someone calling his name when he started going up the stairs. He turned around to see his pathetic excuse for a father with a stupid grin on his face. His mother appeared a second later, with her usual cold, angry face "How was school today?"
"Oh, now you care." He sneered at his parents, watching their faces drop and turn taken aback. He wouldn't admit the satisfaction it gave him.
They deserved it.
Hana shook his head and continued his trek up the stairs.
Once in his room, he slammed the door and slid down against it.
His parents were talking at the bottom of the stairs. Talking about him.
"Darn it, I knew that we should have tried harder."
"Yoh, we were stuck in traffic. There was no way we could have gotten him on time."
Oh, that was their excuse, huh? Hana didn't care. Traffic or not, they'd promised, and their promise had been broken.
He'd never forgive them. They were horrible parents.
And like it mattered. Ryu came to pick him up hours later. He waited there for how long? 2 hours? He wouldn't mind being picked up a few minutes later than that. Another hour later. He didn't care. As long as they came and kept their promise.
They didn't talk much after that. Or, maybe they did and he just didn't hear. He wouldn't be surprised if they were whispering. They kept a lot of secrets.
Hana frowned and turned towards his bookshelf. A book was sticking out, as if he, or someone else, had thought about reading it, but ended up changing his or her mind. He reached for the book and plucked it from the shelf.
A family of three cartoon cats posed for a picture on the front. He stared at the cover for several minutes then placed the book down and reached into his pocket. His hand reemerged with a photograph.
It had been taken several days after his parents had come home. He stood in the middle, grinning like a maniac while his parents stood with him on either side.
The picture was flawed. His mother did not smile and his father had a rip in his shirt. However, none of this mattered to him, because, up until then, this had been his favorite picture.
He stared at the photo. In his rage, he wanted to get rid of it. Rip it in half, burn it to ashes! And yet, regardless of how much he hated them at that moment, he couldn't.
It was his favorite picture, and to even think of throwing it away caused him physical pain.
Before he knew it, he heard his mother calling him down for dinner.
Hana looked at the photo sadly for one more moment, and then stuffed it in his pocket, and made his way to the kitchen.
Once he arrived, he sat down, not even looking at his parents. He didn't want to see their faces.
He knew that right now they were exchanging glances, and that now his father was looking from him to his mother back to him then back to his mom only to go back to him again. He also knew that because of that he would probably try to start a conversation, like nothing happened.
And really, what had? They didn't come. Ryu did and brought him back home. Like usual, nothing had happened.
Just that they promised!
"So..." He didn't look up. "Hana-kun, anything special you want to this weekend?"
Tamao, Ryu and Anna looked at Hana, waiting for his answer.
"No." A one word answer. That's what they deserved right now.
"Oh..." His father sounded disappointed... maybe for the fact that Hana was still staring at his empty plate. "Well, any plans at all? Even if they are not special?"
"I'm 6 years old." He looked up, annoyed, and not hiding it. "Why would I have any plans at all? Is the parents' job to do that."
His father looked hurt, while his mother like she was volcano about to explode. Good, they should feel like that after what they did to him. They broke a promise! And it wasn't even the first time! They had already hurt him so much in these past! So many times Hana couldn't even count that high! And what about leaving him for 6 years, abandoned?! He was already giving them a big chance, trying to act like he had already forgiven them when he still felt that bitter taste in his mouth and his eyes watery just by thinking about that! He always acted like he wasn't hurt, putting a fake smile on, and giving them another chance, when in reality he suffering! And he was sick and tired of it! He was sick and tired of suffering in silence, having to give them new chances only to be hurt again and again, just so he could spare their feelings! He was sick of putting them before himself! Why couldn't they do that for a chance and easy his suffering a little bit? Hana was sick and tired of it!
But he was no longer going to keep this in the dark.
"Well... Then... Maybe we could do something..."
"We?"
"Yes.. Something like... Going to the park! Or watching a movie... You know?" He was getting his confidence again. "Something fun like that! Something parents and their children do together!"
"Key word being parent," He said under his breath, but they heard him. They both did.
"That's enough!" His mother yelled. The volcano finally exploded.
"Of what?"
"Of you!" That was a surprise. "I'm sick and tired of having to put up with your bad behaviour!" His bad behaviour? He was being the perfect actor until today! "Stop acting like a spoiled brat, Hana! We couldn't be there, it's over now! Suck it up and quit acting like a brat!"
"But you promised me!"
"So? Hana, we said we were sorry! Quit being stubborn and act like a man!"
"But you promised! You broke your promise!"
"We said we were sorry, okay?!" He could see that she was trying really hard not to get any more angrier than she already was "If we went, we would be really late and..."
"Like it would make a difference! When Ryu came I was waiting for 2 hours already! Half an hour more would have made no difference!" He didn't really care if he couldn't show off to his classmates that he also had parents today, he just wanted them to keep their promise.
"So we asked Ryu to do it instead, so you wouldn't wait for long!" She continued as if he hadn't spoken. Hana knew that she only did that because she knew he was right. "So stop acting so stubborn! Sometimes people make promises to other people and then they have to break it!"
"But I'm your son! And you promised!"
"Oh, quit acting like a baby, Hana! You're already 6 years old!" Correction, Hana thought, he was only 6 years old. Even if it hurt his ego to admit so, 6 year-olds were still kids. "This is my house and I don't have to tolerate the behaviour of a spoiled child!"
"Yes, you're right." He smiled bitterly "Why should you have to tolerate the behaviour of a spoiled, stubborn brat who was raised by some other woman?"
"That's it!" Anna slapped him across his face.
Silence. Anna had never slapped Hana so hard before.
She looked at him with her eyes wide. Did he know how much it hurt them the fact that they didn't had the chance to raise their son? Didn't he know how much it hurt them? Was he that insensible?!
Without saying another word, Anna marched out of the room.
Yoh looked from Anna to Hana to Anna again and back to Hana. He didn't know what to do. Should he go after his wife who just stormed off, or stay and try to calm his son, who had a red cheek, down? All he wanted was a nice dinner with his family. He wished he could help both of them but...
"Come on Anna... " He stood up and walked after his wife.
Hana crossed his arms again, a satisfied smile on his face. Good, he hurt them. Let them have a little taste of their own medicine.
"Asakura Hana, I can't believe you did that!" Tamao started, after the two others were out of the room.
Hana couldn't help but roll his eyes. Here we go again...
"We raised you better than that!"
"Not in her opinion." He let out a humorless chuckle. "I'm a spoiled brat."
"You are not that and you know it! You always behave better, what's got into you?"
"I guess I just wanted them to know how I feel." Again, he shrugged.
"How you feel?"
"Yeah, how I felt about them breaking their promise!" And all the rest...
"It was just a promise, Hana, they really tried." Ryu looked at the kid. He was the only one who saw how his face fell when he didn't see his parents. The only one who saw the hurt and the sadness. He was the only one who knew that Hana was the one who was hurting the most.
"A promise is a promise!"
"And they are your parents! You have no right to talk like that to them! You have to show some respect!" Tamao yelled.
"After what they did they deserved that at least," He mumbled, but his mother, who was at the door, now a bit calmer and ready to try to talk with her son, heard him.
"We deserved it? Because of a stupid promise?" Anna's voice was a whisper, thanks to her anger returning. Also, thanks to that anger, she wasn't able to see the hurt in Hana's eyes when she said the words stupid promise. "Let me tell you something: I have lived most of my childhood on my own! And so has your father! We both had almost no one for us! My parents abandoned me!" Well, Hana thought, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. They also abandoned him. "Yoh's father left him when he was a baby! We never had a normal childhood! We had to train everyday, and then Yoh was asked to kill his own brother!
"We were only 16 when we were in the middle of a war! We fought so many people and we had to watch so many deaths..." Her voice trailed off, and her eyes carried more anger. Hana only looked at her, his arms crossed over his chest. Yoh only kept looking at both of them, confused. He knew Anna needed to get that off her chest but... But was it right to take all that anger out on their 6 year old son?
"And then we had you..." Now her eyes seemed distant, as if she wasn't there. "You were the happiest thing that ever happened to us. But we had to go save other people. The world needed us." Now she seemed to come back to him "Do you have any idea, Hana, how hard it was for us to leave you?!"
"Not that hard, I imagine. You abandoned me for 6 years." His voice was bitter.
That did it.
"Not hard?! Yoh and I couldn't sleep for a month! We couldn't sleep because we were so worried about you!! Those 6 years... They were TORTURE!! They were the longest years of our lives! But you know why we kept on our journey?"
"Because you don't care!" Hana stood up from his seat. He couldn't take it! Why was she lying to him? Why did she kept saying that they cared when they truly didn't? If they did they would have stayed. If they cared they wouldn't have broken all those promises, wouldn't have hurt him as much as they did... As much as she is now, saying she cared when it's a lie.
"We do care, Hana! We care a lot! And you damn well know that!" She was now angrier than ever, her voice getting louder and louder. How dare he say they don't care? "We were out there making this world safer for you!"
"But I didn't ask for that! You left because you wanted! I would have liked a lot better to have you two here with me"
"We left so you could have a better life!" Yoh looked sadly at his son while his wife yelled. Did he really believed they did not care for him? "And when we come back here, after long exhausting 6 years, what do we get? A spoiled brat for a child!"
"Well, you were the ones who had me! Sorry for not being your perfect son, but you aren't the perfect parents either!"
"At least we are trying! You just sit there, like a stubborn spoiled brat, complaining about a stupid promise!"
"A stupid promise that you two made! But I guess is too much to expect you two to act as parents!"
"Hana..." Yoh tried to calm him down, but Anna cut him off.
"We are good parents! We are great parents! The only problem is that we have the worst son!" That made Hana shut his mouth. He looked surprised at first, but then some small tears started appearing in his eyes "If Yoh ever talked to his grandparents like that he would have been beaten for hours!"
"Well, if you are so unhappy with a child like me, then maybe you shouldn't have come back! Or not have had me at all!" Hana yelled, now his eyes red from the tears he was holding back, his hands turned into fists, his breathing hard.
"Yes, maybe we shouldn't!" Anna didn't seemed to noticed that about her son. "But we did have you and we did come back, and this is our house and..."
"Then maybe I'll leave your house!" With that, Hana ran off. Ryu tried to stop him, but Hana just kicked him and continued on, into the dark blizzard night.
"Hana!" Yoh stood up, trying to run after his son, looking back at his wife. "Anna, I think you went too far, we should go after him and..."
"No, let him go! Let him see how the world is! It would serve him right and teach him to swallow his pride!"
The stinging snow bit at Hana's face.
His mother, his mother! Did she ever have a lot of nerve! DAMN! All she ever did was make him angry. She wasn't a mother, she was a witch.
And his father--couldn't he man up just once in his life? Hana saw that he didn't agree with all that his mother said, yet he still insisted on keeping quiet! Why? Was he afraid his wife would sever his tongue? Did he fear her reaction? Was he that much of a wimp that he couldn't even stand up for his own son?
Too cruel.
Hana cursed his parents in his mind. What he wouldn't do to sit them down and make them listen to what they said to him...
With his attention tangled up in his thoughts, Hana didn't notice the indent in the ground until he was upon it. His foot connected and he tumbled to the snow-covered floor.
Salty tears mixed with frigid snow. It wasn't fair. He'd been so good in the time they were away. Sure, he'd done some bad things, but he had little guidance. All things considered, he was a poster child, so why did things turn out this way? Why was he penalized for patience? Why were his parents heartless? Why couldn't they see?
Frustrated, alone, and utterly lost, Hana dragged himself to the bank of a freezing lake.
He painstakingly pushed himself to his knees and glared at his reflection in the water.
Why did he have to look so much like them? Must he be cursed with this horrible visage?
Furious, he swiped at the water and shattered the image reflected on its surface. The water was bitterly cold, but he didn't care.
His eyes squeezed shut, but it didn't make a difference. Alone and heartbroken, Hana found himself with only one option.
He bit his lip, and he cried.
In the dark of night, he didn't see the malevolent spirit sneaking up behind him until it was too late.
Hana didn't even know what was happening until he was submerged and sinking to the bottom.
He didn't realize what had happened at first. He was crying and then he felt himself sinking into the freezing water. His eyes wide, his fist guess was that he slipped, or that the ground was actually thin ice and he broke it with his weight.
Being six his swimming abilities weren't the best and he could only hold his breath for about 40 seconds. And the cold water... The water that seemed to freeze his muscles would only slow him down. He had to go to the surface. Fast.
But his theory of just slipping into the water was proven wrong when he felt someone pulling him to the bottom. He looked down and saw a dark haired woman... A ghost of a woman, who seemed to have died at 35 years old. She had a sweet smile on her face, which didn't match at all to the fact that she was dragging this six year old child to the bottom of a frozen lake.
Hana didn't register that, thought. He kicked the woman and started swimming up, as fast as he could. He could fill his empty lungs and could see the bubbles carrying the last air he had with him.
Fast... Swim fast...
He got to the surface in time to take one deep breath and scream for help. But no would hear him and he knew that. Not even his parents.
Pathetic. Even in a life and death moment he couldn't help but think about his parents. Real parents would have come after their children right after they stepped out of the house into the dark night. Parents that love their children would be worried sick by now, searching for him everywhere, calling the police.
But his parents? No, they did say he was the worst son in the world. They didn't care for the fact that their six year old son was fighting for his life in a frozen lake miles away from home.
He tried swimming to the place he was before, but felt the ghost pulling him back to the water.
"Don't worry..." Said the ghost as Hana felt his foot touch the bottom of the lake. Too deep... he wouldn't be able to swim back up without losing all his oxygen.
No. He wasn't going to give up. He was going to win this fight.
"Don't worry..." she said again. Her voice was sweet and ghostly at the same time. It almost sounded like a creepy lullaby "I'll be a great mother for you."
Mother. This lunatic was trying to kill him so she could be his mother!
After his real mom, this woman was the worst mother in Japan. And after that came Tamao.
He punched her and tried to swim back up. It was too far... And his lungs felt so empty... The cold water that slowed him down... It hurt so much... His eyes were open, but he had to fight to keep them that way.
He could feel himself wishing for air. He knew that soon he would open his mouth and drown.
No... If he could only hold it for a little while...
His hands were the first thing that met the cold air. He struggled, but soon his head was out of the water as well. He swallowed some of the lake's water, but didn't worry about that now. He was tired, weak, cold, but that woman was still there. She would try to bring him down again and this time he wouldn't make it back.
With his little remaining strength, he swam to the bank and latched himself onto it. However, he was still only partially above the freezing water.
His time was fading, leaving the likelihood of survival to slip further and further from his grasp with every passing second.
The ghost, the cold, the water. Fate was against him, and he couldn't fight.
He heard the ghoul's lullaby and then succumbed to a dying sleep.
He dreamed only of opaque darkness.
Smart Angel: I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter! Please, review us or else!
Besarki: Right, well, I don't know if we have a quota or not. Either way, leave us feedback, if you will. Helps fuel our motivation! Well, I'm going to go take out Smart Angel for being a hypocrite! LATER!