Long ass AN:

Hello all my darling readers. I am officially- somewhat- back. For those of you who haven't read the announcement on my profile; my old computer officially ate all my unpublished, un-backed up fics; including the almost done version of 'The Adventures of Sasuke the Chocolate Sauce and the Llama'. *tears* It's sad but I will get through it.

On the upside so many good things have happened. The 'A' (Advanced Proficiency) level Exams from hell are over, I have worked through the majority of my emotional issues from the time of 'Absences'' publication, I've gotten a summer job at a bookstore- (and they really expect me to keep myself focused. Me- the Serial Reader-) and last but not least- I gained a new beta: this here is her little combo present of a. saying thank you for becoming my beta and b. her birthday present (but its early); all hail Master of the Rebels. She is the supreme overlord of the yaoi- universe and we are not worthy to be in her presence *grins*

Secondly: Oh my god. I cannot believe I have just discovered this show. Curse this country's homophobia. I have now watched all five seasons of 'Queer As Folk' back to back in one week. Brian Kinney is the shit. I now freely admit to having a strong- and slightly disturbing- attraction to gay men. O.o

I'm going to stop babbling now. Sry XD. On with the fic:

Title: Torque

Rating: M…duh

Pairing: Seriously?- NaruSasu- again…duh.

Warnings: This fic contains hot Japanese men whom I would very much like to be real so that I can psychotically stare at them for hours without blinking, hot mansex, a very pushy and demanding SasUKE, hot mansex, sexual positions that most likely defy the laws of gravity, space, time and the Kama Sutra and above all…a Ferrari. I'm talking a burnt orange, leather interiored, titanium trimmed, chrome rimmed, orgasm inducing, sleek, fast, I-would-fuck-that-car-and-marry-it Ferrari. You have been warned. Oh and for the purposes of this story Naruto and S'uke live in Vegas. You'll see why though XD oh and lastly: DO NOT TRY THESE STUNTS AT HOME! *maniac grin*

Disclaimer: If you think I own Naruto please have yourself checked out by a licensed professional.

Dedication: Gift fic for Master of the Rebels; an early birthday present. Like way early. A month early. Happy birthday when it comes darling! I wish I could give you a real Ferrari. XD

Summary: 'Yes Naruto,' Sasuke patiently repeated for the ninth time to the spastically twitching, jabbering blond. 'Believe it or not the Ferrari is yours…. Now stop orgasming, clean up your drool and drive.'

Beta: It should have been beta'd by Master but since this is her surprise pre-birthday present having her beta her own surprise present is a bit paradoxical ain't it? So you'll just have to settle with my own beta-ing skills. *cringes*

***

In all honesty Sasuke had gotten the idea from Sai. Well what had happened between himself, Naruto and Sai's new car to be exact.

It had been a month ago when the couple had just come back from their three month anniversary milestone in Madrid. Yes it was a cause worthy of celebration because Sasuke had never been with anyone for longer than a week before dumping them in disgust and he was now actually seriously thinking of keeping the blond around. The young Uchiha had insisted that having a week long binge at Ichiraku's was not the proper-or sanitary- way to celebrate an anniversary (not that he was a sentimental sap mind you –Uchihas don't do those things) and stating that Naruto needed to learn some culture and the life of a civilized- evolved- human being even if Sasuke had to force- cram it down his throat, the littlest Uchiha had taken it upon himself to plan the proper celebration and at the slightest protest Naruto had been promptly subjected to the Uchiha Ice Glare of Death TM .

So naturally, the blond- having realized what all alpha males did sooner or later- which was that in actuality it was the submissive partner who wore the pants in the relationship- had bowed his head meekly and uttered a very fine;

'Yes dear.' and prayed that the Uchiha left him with his balls intact.

The shorter, black haired male had smirked in unholy satisfaction, ordered his lover to get packed- wired an obscene amount of money to his travelling debit cards and promptly told Itachi- his brother and pseudo-boss- to fuck off for a week and let him have some time off. After merrily tossing his cell phone into a nearby river (Sasuke wasn't stupid enough to think that Itachi wouldn't try to locate him by the 'secret' GPS tracker in his mobile that Itachi thought he didn't know about) he and a patiently smiling Naruto had boarded a jet off to sweltering Spain for the week.

Hot as the week had been though- what with all it pulsing nightlife, exotic alcohol, non-stop sex and the constant cuddling the Uchiha would never admit to even under pain of Chinese water torture- that really wasn't the focus of what Sasuke had been thinking about. It was what had happened after the week that occupied his mind.

The day after flying back to Vegas both he and his Video Game Designer boyfriend had turned up at their joint high rise when it happened. Sai Root- resident freakish lookalike to Sasuke had just pulled up in front of the glass and steel complex in a slick, bleeding edge, fine lined, cherry red Ferrari.

Naruto had gone rigid mid stride.

Thinking the fool had probably just tripped over his own untied laces again Sasuke had patiently waited for about a minute for the blond to catch up when he become annoyed and spun around ready to insult Naruto to within an inch of his life for making him late to meet with Itachi.

"For the love of God man- must I resend you to first grade to relearn bow knots?"

Nothing.

Sasuke frowned.

...Yes, the blond normally took a while to process Sasuke's more elaborate insults but this had been a pretty straightforward one. Stepping closer to the stone still Uzumaki, Sasuke furrowed his brows and stared at his lover.

Naruto was dead still- dead still save for the spasmodic twitching in his left eye and hand which were both increasing rapidly.

...Sasuke vaguely wondered in Naruto was having a heart attack but dismissed it. Healthy, active twenty one year old's did not just catch heart failure. Fuck- Naruto was so unnaturally healthy he couldn't even catch a cold by skinny dipping in December with ice blocks tied to his chest.

Stepping up into the blonds' personal space Sasuke eyed the now fully twitching man and marveled at the pulsing veins in the taller man's rigid neck. Naruto made quite a spectacle actually. In the middle of the administrative district of Las Vegas, Uzumaki Naruto- dressed in screaming orange sweats, sneakers and bandanna, was balanced on one foot, one arm outstretched to take the complex door handle, twitching like a fiend and Sasuke was disgusted to see the fine line of saliva gathering down the tan man's quivering chin.

What could possibly have gone wrong with the idiot? He thought about it for barely a second before the answer came to him.

And suddenly Sasuke understood. It all added up really; the twitching, the muscle paralysis, the pathetic whimpering and the drooling. The Uchiha finally understood and stood back to survey his boyfriend with a look of deep understanding mixed with both pity and disbelief as to why he hadn't spotted it earlier.

"Christ." Sasuke whispered. "...The little monkeys spinning the wheel in your head have finally died haven't they? Unfortunate bastards. Tell you what Nar-"

"YO DICKLESS!" This clever bon mot was directed at the insensate Naruto by the approaching perverted artist.

Stopping beside the couple Sai frowned. "...What did you do to him Uchiha?"

Of all the nerve!

"I didn't do anything you ridiculous waste of –" A strangled yelp rather like a puppy being kicked interrupted them and both brunets turned to see Naruto glaring death at the valet who'd just come up to Sai's car door. The poor, unfortunate kid had just opened the sleek machine's door when Naruto sprang forward like a mad beast let loose.

Konohamaru- for that was the poor kid's name- found himself draped up and flung clear across two empty parking spaces as the blond growled like a Neanderthal. All three men watched in astonishment as Naruto turned back to the car (encroaching, evil valet forgotten) and with stars in his eyes whimpered and began to stretch a shaking hand out to the machine.

The Uchiha and Sai exchanged incredulous looks.

Naruto's quaking fingers had just contacted with the cool red surface of the car when the blond had seemed to crumple from the inside and, seemingly boneless, he sprawled his arms over the hood hugging the fine piece of Italian machinery close to his heart. Both spectators exchanged incredulous glances again when Naruto began to sniffle and coo at the thing.

...

"...Uchiha?"

"Yes?"

"...Is your lover humping my car?"

Sasuke checked and yes, Naruto's hips were indeed circling in a tight motion against the front fender.

"Why yes Sai, I do believe he is."

"Oh."

Both men watched in morbid fascination as Naruto ran loving, gentle hands over the windshield and down the deep grooves of the hood. Sasuke was vaguely aware that others had stopped to stare in disbelief at the spectacle before them.

"Otouto?"

Sasuke greeted Itachi with an inclining of his head but keep his eyes on his blond lover who was now actively sobbing against the glossy paint job.

"Do you realize that your boyfriend is screwing a car in the middle of Las Vegas right in front of our business's doors?"

"Yes Itachi. I realize that."

"Hn." The older black haired man intoned drolly as all three of them stared at the blond whose humping had gotten stronger. "...should I have him hosed down?"

Sasuke shook his head. "When he gets like this it's best to just leave him be."

A sizeable crowd had developed now and already a few of the astonished gawkers were actively photographing and filming the spectacle.

A shocked scream rang from the three man deep crowd of viewers (voyeurs) as a pink haired woman and her bushy browed fiancé shoved their way to the front."

"Naruto- have you lost your god forsaken MIND! Release that car immedia-" The scathing rant was cut of when two addition whimpers- one human and one distinctly canine- emitted from their far right.

Kiba Inuzuka- a friend of Naruto since they were in diapers- followed by his dog Akamaru edged up to the spaced out blond his own brown eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears. Kiba did a rather odd crab-like side shuffle to the passenger side (Naruto was on the driver's side mostly) and with tears streaming down his face the canine lover lowered himself gently on the car and began to nuzzle the surface, his hands petting down the red machine carefully.

Absolutely no one was surprised when the de-clawed Akamaru (he'd had to lose the claws in order to be allowed into Kiba's office once his boss got sick of Kiba smuggling the mutt in) pawed the trunk of the Ferrari and began to actively hump away howling to the non-visible moon.

And on that day there was silence.

It had taken a solid half hour before Naruto had shuddered and eased himself up off the car sniffling and wiping at his face. Kiba purred deep in his throat again before releasing the Ferrari and Akamaru jumped of the fender. The blond walked up to Kiba and clapped him on the back.

"That... was therapeutic."

Kiba exhaled. "I'll say. Healed quite a few emotional scars."

"You mean like the ones you got from that time you walked in on Hana doing that thing with the coke bottle, the duct tape and the rubber chicken?"

Kiba paled but nodded.

"I know man." Naruto sympathized. "I think the trauma of being abandoned by my parents has finally gone."

"The healing powers of a Ferrari." Kiba agreed.

"Would either of you," Sasuke's cold voice interrupted "mind telling me exactly... what... the fuck just happened."

Both men spun around surprised to find Sasuke, Itachi, Sai, a few hundred spectators and representatives from the Channel Five news staring at them.

They blinked.

Naruto, it seemed, finally understood the gravity of the situation and walked up to Sasuke.

"Hey babe, do you remember when I told you that I'd grown up in the slums? Well, you see, there was this guy-"

***

The story had turned out that in the slum district Kiba and Naruto had lived in there had been an older man- the big brother of their friend Gaara- named Sasori.

They'd all been a set of street rats then, conditioned and taught to believe that they were worthless and would never get out of the ghetto. Sasori hadn't believed it though and had worked his ass off to get himself and his brother a proper education. The twenty two year old had been nine year old Naruto's role model and he'd set out to work just as hard to make something of himself like Sasori.

Eventually working two jobs and being in full time school had paid off and Sasori had made it big. He'd always been a genius with automatons and robots and had patented a design that made him rich. Sasori had bought a car- just like Sai's- and Naruto and Kiba had stood from afar, never daring to touch, with awe in their eyes. That car had become the benchmark, the ultimate symbol of having left their squalid pasts behind.

Ultimately- it hadn't been the style or cost of the car that made it so important- what made it precious to the blond was what it symbolized. Even more so after Sasori had been unfairly murdered a year and a half after buying his car by an old jealous friend.

Sasuke knew then exactly what that car had meant to his boyfriend and he'd seen the wistful look in his blue eyes when they'd strolled past the Ferrari dealership a few weeks ago on an outing. Naruto loved his job- designing games was what he was good at, loved and would keep loving but in his deepest heart of hearts he still didn't equate himself with having completely put his past behind him and this was the one problem Sasuke saw that stood in the way of their relationship. Naruto'd also thought that even if he worked every day for three lifetimes he'd never pull enough to get himself that machine so he had closed his eyes and turned away.

This was the combination of events that led Sasuke to where he was now and dealing with this simpering fool.

"And what time would you prefer-"

"Did I not tell you tomorrow?"

The man's rotund eyes widened. "But sir! That is unheard of- all the details-"

"Have already been taken care of by my office. I believe we are done here...unless, of course, you would rather I take my business elsewhere?"

"NO! Erm- no Uchiha-sama, it will be ready."

"Good." Sasuke stood to leave "And Gato- do not disappoint me."

***

(The next day, October 11, 2009)

"C'moooooooooonnnnnnn S'uke teme! At least tell me where we're going!"

"No."

"Pleeeeeaaaaasssseeeeee?"

"What part of 'No' do you not comprehend?"

"...Will you at least take the blindfold off?"

"What do you think?"

"But Saaaaaaasuke- It's my birthday! You're not supposed to kidnap, blindfold or restrain your boyfriend on his birthday!"

"Now I'm wondering why I didn't gag you too."

"Now S'uke- we both know you're the one who needs gagging when we're fu-"

Sasuke slammed on the brakes so hard the blond flew into the dashboard.

"Ow! Motherfuck Uchiha- what the hell! I wasn't even wearing a seatbelt!"

"We're here."

Naruto's bound hands fumbled for the lock on the Mustang convertible's doors and stepping out the tanned man felt harsh, acrid wind assault his face. Tiny, coarse, dust particles were swirling around him and Naruto felt them graze along the sensitive skin on his upper arms. The wind whistled and whorled and Naruto was at a complete loss as to his surroundings.

"Where's here?"

In answer Sasuke took him by the elbow and ignoring Naruto's token stumbling began leading him swiftly in some direction. Meekly the blond just followed along. It's not like the brunet was going to kill him or something... and then Naruto remembered that Sasuke was related to Itachi and got scared.

"Sasuke," he chuckled out nervously, mind racing frantically for what his offence could have been "Baby, erm- I'm so sorry I forgot! It was at the top of my To Do list- really-but see Akamaru decided to eat my notes one day and –"

Sasuke stopped them both and Naruto could feel the black eyes assessing him intimately. Good! That meant he was on the right track!

"Erm... I promise to never miss your special day again!"

"...What special day?"

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckityfuck-

"Erm- Valentines Day?" he hazarded.

"It's October." Shit. Cold sweat broke out on Naruto's brow. He knew he'd have no more than three chances to get this right or he was fucked.

"Your birthday?"

"...We celebrated in July. You should remember- you were stripping on top of the bar."

Oh yeaaaah.

"Erm...Itachi's birthday?"

A very, very long pause.

...

"You were exposed to radiation as a child weren't you?"

Naruto crumpled. If Sasuke wasn't going to give him a hint then he'd take his punishment like a man.

"Alright- what are we doing here then? If I didn't do-"

"Just shut up baka." There was a note of tenseness in Sasuke's voice and Naruto frowned.

"What- ...oh god Sasuke it's the mob isn't it? I TOLD you Itachi was a freaking mobster and he was gonna get in debt one day and sell us for our entrails and-"

Sasuke slapped him. "Will you listen to me for a minute dobe?"

"Ok."

Sasuke sighed again. "Listen, Naruto. Today's your birthday and I bought you a gift. Don't even think that I 'didn't have to.' If you've ever seen your face on Christmas then not only did I have to...I wanted to."

"S'uke-"

"Like I said I bought you a gift but...it's a little...extraordinary."

"Well what is it?"

"Before I remove the blindfold I have to have you promise me that you won't be a dumbass and will accept what I give you."

"S'uke-" Naruto began again

"Just say 'yes' damnit!"

"Alright- 'yes'"

Cool hands immediately spun him around a few degrees and with Sasuke pressed against his back the blindfold slipped from his eyes accompanied by a soft "Happy birthday dobe" just before hazy blue eyes fluttered open.

----

Naruto's eyes were sending messages to his brain but the poor muscle was simply not capable of computing what it was receiving.

They were in a dusky, wide, industrial space looking area, with sunlight filtering in through a few high windows. Dust motes flew through the heavy air and centred in the middle of the open floor space was a...was a...was a...see this is the part where his brain stopped functioning.

His eyes were telling him he was staring at a 2009, streamlined, burnt Orange Ferrari Spider but his mind firmly insisted that he was hallucinating from the heat.

He turned around to face a bored looking Sasuke but he knew the brunet well enough to know when he was faking it.

"Where's my present?"

Sasuke did a double take and stared at him incredulously.

"It's...right there...you know...the car sitting in the middle of freaking nowhere." Duh

Naruto turned back around and stared at the car for a solid ten more minutes without blinking.

"This is my present you say."

"Yes...." Sasuke trailed off certain that the blond shouldn't have been acting this...calm.

"As in....you mean to tell me that the...the...that- is mine?"

"Yes Naruto." Sasuke repeated edging closer to the blond actually worried about the taller male's quietness.

"...Bring it back."

What?

"What? Are you mental dobe? What would I-"

"Sasuke," Naruto's voice broke "Baby, please- bring it back; don't do this to me."

"Do what to y- Naruto I-"

"That car can't be mine. I don't deser-"

The echo of Sasuke palm connecting with Naruto's face ricocheted throughout the empty room.

"You," Sasuke started, "are a jackass. No one deserves something like this more than you Naruto and we both know the backbreaking work you did to make something of yourself. Now don't give me that bullshit because if it's sympathy you're looking for and some stupid sycophant to tell you just how worthy you are then I advise you to go find yourself a woman. I don't have the time, inclination or correct hormones to be some simpering suck up. If it's a matter of pride then be comforted in the knowledge that I used some of your own savings that you think I didn't know you were putting aside for this very purpose. I just matched it." 'and tripled it' he left off. "So get off your friggin' high horse and stop being humble; you're not that great. Now are you going to take the damn car or not?"

Sasuke was borderline frustrated. This was the problem that kept manifesting itself in their relationship and Sasuke was getting sick and tired of dealing with it but hopefully, after today it would be long gone.

Naruto was silent for long moments before a flickering of a smile darted across his peach coloured lips.

"Trust you S'uke, to be caring while cursing me out."

"It's my specialty. Now shall we try this again?"

"Yes please!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes but re-blindfolded the blond and turned him back to the car. He drawled a 'Happy birthday dobe,' again and ripped off the black silk.

An ear piercing shriek resounded through the container area as Naruto tore like a mad man towards the car and began running around it in circles speaking Klingon.

'Theeeeeere we go'. Sasuke thought. 'Took a while but at least he got it right this time.'

The overexcited blond had fallen to his knees, wrapped his arms around a wheel and begun spastically twitching.

This was going to take a while.

***

"I-is is it r-re-really m-mine S'uke?" trembled out of the blonds' mouth again for the nth time in less than ten minutes.

Sasuke had somehow managed to persuade the ecstatic man to stop kissing the engine but actually getting Naruto to slide into the driver's seat had been a chore in patience. The blond had insisted that he was 'unclean' and worried stiff that he'd soil the cream leather interior. Finally after a combination of cajoling, promises and threats about dismemberment they were both now comfortably seated and outside of the storehouse. The hanger like area was on the outskirts of Las Vegas and now both men and the machine were on a stretch of long, flat road that led out of Vegas into the Nevada desert.

'Yes Naruto,' Sasuke patiently repeated for the ninth time to the spastically twitching, jabbering blond. 'Believe it or not the Ferrari is yours…. Now stop orgasming, clean up your drool and drive.'

Naruto looked curiously at him, "But I'm nor org-"

"Figure of speech dobe, now are you going to give this thing a test run or not?"

Naruto turned back to the long stretch of road before him and nodded resolutely. Shifting the car into gear the finely tuned machine purred like a pleased lion when it slid forward easily and gracefully.

The smooth rumble was the only sound heard as Naruto steadily began to push the car through its paces. The excellent vehicle was all smooth turns, flawless knife edge executions and sweet, sweet purring engine. Naruto was lost in his own world which had narrowed down to his body and the amazing example of near perfect engineering practically humming under him. Sasuke watched his dobe carefully and just as he'd calculated Naruto went trance-like almost immediately. The Uchiha was pleased with the reaction but it was another, far more visceral physical reaction he was hoping for. Naruto- as shown through the interaction with Sai's car- had outed himself to be one of those men who got seriously turned on in the presence of a sexy car and that was what Sasuke was looking for. When the blond turned down a long deserted stretch of road leading into the heart of the desert and began to dramatically increase the speed Sasuke found what he wanted.

Moving in like a snake the Uchiha unbuckled himself and slipped over the edge of his seat to settle half on the divider. He lowered his head to the blonds shoulder and asked huskily,

"So is it everything you dreamed of dobe?"

Naruto glanced quickly at him before returning his eyes to the road but Sasuke saw the genuine smile of delighted appreciation on his face. He looked like a child with a cookie.

"Yeah S'uke. She runs like a wet dream."

"Hn." The Uchiha hummed in his throat. His right arm slithered around and began to nonchalantly trail up the scarred man's neck, an extremely sensitive area on Naruto's body.

The driver spared him a curious glance this time. "Baby? What are you doing?"

"Eyes on the road Naruto- don't worry about what I'm doing."

Obediently the Uzumaki trained his focus back on the road and brought the speed up a little more edging the needle up to sixty. Sasuke's wandering hand immediately grasped the zipper of Naruto's sweatshirt and pulled it down smoothly.

"S'uke! What-?"

"Drive dobe." Sasuke cut him off before plunging his hand in and grasping tightly to a dusky pink nipple. The car swerved dangerously as the shocked Naruto jerked and turned to look at him wide eyed. Annoyed, Sasuke shoved Naruto's head back around to face the road before leaning up to bite on a tan ear.

"Listen to me Dobe; you need to keep your eyes on the goddamn road; despite what I'm going to do to you."

"What are you going to do to me?" Naruto managed to get out, his already deep voice dropping to that sensual, aroused growl that sent electric charges pulsing to Sasuke's groin.

"You want to know?"

"In pornographic detail."

Sasuke adjusted carefully to ease the strain on his hardening cock before deciding to just cut the foreplay and get on with the christening of Naruto's new car.

Instead of answering the blond Sasuke dropped his pale hand to the bulge between Naruto's thighs and gave a strong squeeze. The taller man's head flew back into the headrest as a pleasured hiss emitted from between his clenched teeth. Unconsciously Naruto angled his hips upward trying to get Sasuke to do that again...and again but the Uchiha did him one better and in the work of seconds Naruto's fly was open and Sasuke slipped his greedy hand in to grasp the rigid heat there.

A throaty moan tore from Naruto's mouth as his boyfriend closed that wonderfully tight hand around his throbbing dick; lord knew going commando was never easy on an erection. Sasuke for his part was feeling perfectly smug, pleased beyond words, at the size of the thick, pulsing penis that filled his hand so perfectly. Wide, hot and hard, the muscle that brought them both so much pleasure was virtually throbbing in Sasuke's fist begging for release. Quickly and strongly he jerked the leaking cock, smearing his thumb over the head to spread the generously leaking pre-cum.

Unlike himself Naruto hadn't been circumcised and Sasuke took fiendish pleasure in pulling back the foreskin and taunting the swollen head. Naruto's hips were jerking harshly up into each tight pull, his growling moans already filling the car when, cruelly, Sasuke closed his fist tightly around the base to choke off Naruto's orgasm.

The car jerked violently again as Naruto yelped in pain and glared death at the dark haired man with pissed navy eyes. "Uchiha, what the fuck?!"

The sensual rumble in his voice surprised even himself as Sasuke replied, "Much as I love the feel of your hot, thick cum sliding over my hand- I don't want you to orgasm that way. Here's the deal Naruto, I going to push both you and this fine machine to your limits."

Sasuke leaned forward to both free a slim object from his pocket and to lick a hot, wet stripe up Naruto's neck.

"My phone," Sasuke indicated to the object he'd freed "is set to alarm four times at seven minute intervals. For that period of time you are not allowed to cum despite the unspeakable things I'm going to be doing to your body and here's the kicker. You have to increase the car's speed by twenty miles per hour every time the car alarms- and through all this you have to keep perfect control of this car."

Naruto looked at his boyfriend like he'd grown five heads. WHAT!

How in the sweet name of fucking god was he going to control a Ferrari speeding at (mentally calculating the speed from the sixty miles ph he was now at) 140 mph with Sasuke doing things to him without cumming or crashing to a fiery death? Did he look like friggin Clark Kent?!

Sasuke, it seemed, was getting impatient.

"Well Naruto," he sneered, "tell me right now if you can't handle it, because like this car -I need a man to manage me- not some lost little boy who thinks he can."

The combined insult and challenge made Naruto's gut and resolve tighten to galvanized steel. Narrowing his eyes to chips of blue titanium the blond growled back- "I'm a big fucking boy Sasuke- I can handle my goddamn toys."

"Good." Sasuke crooned back. "Let's go."

The audible ticker on the Blackberry's surface started and immediately Naruto pushed the car to 80. The harsh desert wind whipped past the swift car in strong swirls as Naruto felt both the g-force push him back into the seat and Sasuke –not one to be idle- resumed his hot stroking vacillating between long sweeping tugs and harsh quick pulls that sucked the air out of Naruto's lungs. The calluses on Sasuke's palm from all those hours in the dojo were doing excruciatingly pleasurable things to his oversensitive erection and damned if the friction wasn't threatening to undo the very stitching of his bones.

Tick- tick- tick- tick-

Naruto squeezed his eyes together for a tight desperate second as he force willed the hot coiling in his gut to die. He strained his lungs to suck in- albeit shakily- the harsh, dry air and chanted in his head that he could not lose this.

-ping!-

The first chime and Naruto was mentally congratulating himself when Sasuke laughed evilly "Time to begin."

BEGIN! What the fuck was he beginning when Naruto was already screaming for release?!"

Naruto pressed the gas and the needle had just edged past 91 when – Sasuke, with a quick shift- detached himself from Naruto's side and –

"JESUS GOD!" Naruto screamed to the high heavens when Sasuke inferno mouth clamped around the dripping dome of his cock and sucked like a vacuum. The blonds' eyes crossed something fierce as something painful flared in his gut and sweat from the acrid desert heat and the boiling lava of lust in his belly pushed his temperature into overdrive. Hot, wet sucking slid down the rigid, pulsing organ as the roaring car leaped to 100 and the air resistance plastered his heaving body back into the slippery leather. Naruto was gasping for life while the sweltering air howled around the shooting car and as the blonds' control began to waver the machine beneath him began to vacillate slightly from side to side.

This was insane!

How could he survive this? His driving leg was trembling something fierce as his shaking left hand abandoned the wheel and buried itself- quite without Naruto's permission mind- into Sasuke mess of onyx hair. His knuckles tightened as he pushed the bobbing wet heat down, down and down again- knowing from experience that Sasuke had assassinated his gag reflex a long time ago.

His cock was screaming in ecstasy and desperation for release. The tight prison it was encased in managed to nip, suck and lick every pulsing dripping inch and those cruel torturous teeth insisted on scraping over the swollen head to cause him to wish for either release or a swift death. Naruto's ears were ringing and his throat was tight and if he didn't breathe NOW then he'd be a dead fucking man.

The sweet pleasure was tearing at the very fabric of his sanity. Strange and inhuman will was the only thing that stood between Naruto's pride and the strongest sexual release he'd ever feel and by god every time that wicked tongue swirled over his purpling skin Naruto's resolve disintegrated by inches.

The blond risked a chance and glanced down only to end up wishing he hadn't. Sasuke chose that exact moment to pull his mouth off the glistening cock and tilt his head slightly to the side to stare Naruto dead in the eye. Hypnotized, the blond could only watch in speechless amazement as his boyfriend, the so-called stoic, ice-blooded, bitch prince of Uchiha Inc, opened his mouth and delivered the most obscenely sluttish open mouth kiss imaginable to the weeping head of Naruto's cock. His lips and lower face smeared with a combination of sticky pre-cum and saliva Sasuke stared Naruto straight in the eye as he slid his tongue out of his mouth and began to torturously tongue fuck the pearling slit. Right then and there Naruto wished for nothing more than a dagger to commit ritual suicide.

-ping!-

'God curse that fucking clock' the quivering driver thought as he marshaled enough energy to push the drastically speeding machine to 110 mph. Before increasing the madly speeding vehicle anymore Naruto hazarded another glance sideways and – sweet Mary when had Sasuke gotten naked? The tortured blond could do nothing but stare helplessly as Sasuke slid his seat back, stretched his eternally long right leg up to the dashboard and in a display of contortionism managed to hook his left behind Naruto's own seat. The moonlight skinned male was spread wide open for perusal and it was with teary eyes that Naruto watched as Sasuke swiped his slender fingers over his soaking lips, dipped the digits inside his mouth and without pause brought them down to his twitching hole.

The car jerked spastically to the right when Naruto watched his boyfriend rather whorishly finger himself; sliding two of his fingers deep inside, stretching the muscle and slowly pulling out before taking a repeat trip back to his mouth for more moisture. Naruto was dying inside as he watched his boyfriend and the g-force of the 120 mph speeding car was crushing the very air from his lungs. Breathing was restricted to short desperate gasps and Sasuke's left hand was still doing cruel things to his more that ready penis.

And then the whole game changed.

Naruto had thought that Sasuke would leave the game at touching and teasing but when his boyfriend suddenly sat up with three more minutes to go till the next 'ping', reach over Naruto's chair and pressing the tiny mechanism that slid the drivers seat back half a foot, Naruto knew this thing was about to get a whole lot more dangerous.

And he was right.

In a flash Sasuke had ducked under Naruto's right arm and had quite nonchalantly settled himself facing the blond in Naruto's lap. Naruto was utterly speechless as helplessly he watched Sasuke guide his steel hard cock to the Uchiha's entrance and in one swift motion sat down.

Naruto prayed for death.

The slick, tight stranglehold Sasuke's muscles had on Naruto's swollen cock was going to kill the blond and Naruto was going to welcome it with open arms. Anything to escape this torture. His mind and body were shattering into infinitesimal pieces- his arousal was like a roaring tiger tearing mercilessly through his sanity and begging for him to stop thinking and just fuck while the need to keep them both alive was pleading with the only sane part of his mind to be conscious and keep the car exactly where it was supposed to be. The arid desert air was howling like a beast demented as the streamlined car tore through it mercilessly and then- in the midst of all this- Sasuke began to move- and damned if the visual stimulation didn't fry the last circuits in Naruto's brain.

It was so... fucking... amazing. There was a circus dancing in Naruto's body as the emotions tore through him chasing and challenging each other for dominance. There was the primal pleasure from the hot, amazing sensation of a tight hole wrapped unrepentantly around his throbbing flesh, there was the visual satisfaction of seeing his rigid member ream his sweating boyfriend open as said boyfriend leaned his head back over the steering wheel presenting his long torso and hard nipples for devouring, there was the egotistical pleasure of having such a finely tuned machine snarling like a caged cat beneath him, there was the audio pleasure of hearing Sasuke open his mouth and begin making the most erotic set of noises this side of creation as Naruto, frustrated, braced his thighs and lower back and began to thrust up into the riding body mercilessly, and lastly there was the choking, burning sensation of not getting any air into his lugs as the g-force anchored him to the seat and stole his breath.

Colours swam in Naruto's mind as he heard the second to last -ping- and felt Sasuke re-double his efforts to physically remove Naruto's cock by both riding the hard thrusts that came into his body and by methodically squeezing the groups of muscles inside his anal channel to give the pulsing penis inside him a sensual massage. The brunet rolled his hips, arched his back, tugged harshly at his pink nipples and spread himself like a pagan offering for Naruto's benefit. The blond sobbed low in his throat as his vision swam and the torque increased as he floored the pedal and the barely visible needle edged to 135. The sandy air outside was a swirling tornado of stinging hornets as it pelted the car, slid over the streamline like water and formed a solid wall of white noise against Naruto's ears.

Sasuke's body was blocking his entire view now and Naruto was relying on luck and a strangled prayer to drive steadily. His restricted orgasm was travelling double through his veins and Naruto had bitten clean through his lip fighting for control. His blood vessels were tearing and his heart was pounding. The car was a live thing now, ripping wildly at the asphalt at 140 mph. Air was a long forgotten issue as Naruto's body went into anaerobic respiration, the burning of lactic acid coiling in his lungs and adding a cruel sting to the pleasure wracking his body. Sasuke had anchored himself and levered his heaving body up.

The distant portion of Naruto's mind that was still working was fiendishly satisfied to see the unfocused eyes and open mouth as the screams left Sasuke throat freely- and then just with three minutes to spare

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!

The deep booming horn of a truck tore through Naruto's aching head and when Sasuke swerved a bit to the side the blond witnessed with abject horror a seven compartment oil tanker bearing down on them about one mile away.

One mile was nothing; at the speed the car was going they would crash to a fiery death if Naruto couldn't swerve the car out of the way and by god he wanted to but he wasn't sure if once he did he could get the car back into control. A Ferrari speeding at such great levels would be the hardest fucking thing to try and get back on track and Naruto's mind was already half gone with the brutal pleasure of the intense sex that was tearing his limbs apart and turning his will to water.

"Naruto-" Sasuke's hoarse voice rasped out before its owner gave him a meaningful, trusting look before lolling his head back, closing his eyes and continuing to ride Naruto's in earnest, clutching and working at his own swollen length as well.

A searing bite of raw fear ripped through the aroused blond as he realized that Sasuke had given him complete control and trust of his life and Naruto felt tears gather in his eyes.

Nearer and nearer and nearer- fifty half a mile now.

Sasuke was approaching his orgasm, the Ferrari was leaping like a released beast as it realized that its master was no longer in control and the biting fear in his belly was the last addition to the card house of Naruto's sexual control. It was an explosion of sensation as Naruto watched his lover scream and coat his chest with thick cum- in seconds the painfully tight, vibrating coil of pleasure in his belly and cock broke with such force something seemed to snap and as white exploded behind his blue eyes and the tanker was less than one hundred and fifty feet away the blond swerved the mad car out of its path and marshalling the full strength of his muscular arms forced the steering to steady and kept the car upright an on track. His orgasm was still pulsing through him as Naruto felt his cock erupt and pulse wave after wave of steaming release into his boyfriend's body. Naruto's chest was locked and the lack of air intensified the orgasm tenfold. In a fit of desperation the blond lifted his foot from the accelerator and giving the car three seconds to slow naturally pedalled the brake.

The roaring machine screeched to a stop and spun a one eighty to come to a purring, anticipatory pause as both humans in the car tried to gather their senses.

It was long moments before Naruto could drag a shivering breath into his body much less think clearly and when the violent aftershocks of his orgasm were reduced to soft trembles the blond lifted shaking arms, wrapped them around his lover and cried.

Sasuke raised his sweaty head, shifted so that he sat more evenly on Naruto's lap and held his dobe.

"Shhh Naruto, it's okay. You did so well koi, better than I could have ever imagined."

Sasuke pressed Naruto's wet face into his own neck and smiled into the mess of blond hair. "I know what I just did to you wasn't fair or nice lover, but I had to know. I had to test you if we want this relationship to continue. Please understand Naruto. Being with me is going to be like that at times; hot, hard, pleasurable, intense, and scary as all fuck. I needed you to put your past behind and grasp the things you needed for the future. You may be cross with me as much as you want and I won't fault you dobe but please understand. I needed to know if you were strong enough to take care of me through the insane times we'll face and when I'll rely on your strength alone."

The car was quiet after that confession and it was another heart wrenching moment before Naruto raised his blond head and looked at Sasuke with a maturity in his dark blue eyes that hadn't been there when he'd gotten inside the care half an hour ago. Naruto held Sasuke soft dark gaze for a moment before smiling softly.

"I understand S'uke." A tan hand came up and buried itself in the wet hair at the Uchiha's nape while the thumb stroked over Sasuke's high cheekbone. "I understand." He whispered again. "All this time some part of me was still that lost little slum kid staring up at my dream without daring to touch it. I see now that what you need from me is a man who's not afraid to reach out and grab what he needs. I had some growing up to do S'uke and I'm glad you helped me."

Sasuke practically beamed- well as much as Uchiha's could beam- and framing Naruto's face he reached over and planted a sweet kiss of so much promise on his chosen life partner's lips.

It was a defining moment in Naruto's life and a birthday he burned into his mind and swore to himself never to forget. The lesson in control and trusting in himself that he'd learned that day would live with him till he died.

Right now though Naruto was bone tired and mentally exhausted. He felt like the IRS had just come and taxed him his soul before running over his body with a mac truck. Slipping tiredly out of his Baby's body Naruto released the young Uchiha and allowed the significantly more energetic brunet to clean them both up.

He turned to look at Sasuke. "Hey Babe, I do understand and appreciate what happened here but let me tell you right now. When we get to our apartment and my energy is back- I am going to break every non-shatter proof item I can reach before I tie you to our bed and fuck you clear until morning. If you get to cum at all it'll be because I was either very, very generous or unconscious- understand?"

Sasuke 'Hn'ed" and nodded.

Naruto sighed and slipping the car- his car- back into gear he spun them around and headed back to the city from the middle of the desert they were in.

Barely a chain later:

"Uh...Sasuke?"

"What?"

"I think we'll have to take a rain check on my tantrum and the tying up thingie."

"Why"

"We're out of gas."

-----OWARI-----

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Mahahahamuahaha muahaha muahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Heh heh. How's this for a comeback *dances around maniacally* ^___^

Technically, I do realize that this should be posted on July 12 for Master's official birthday- but I got over excited. I just love this fic and couldn't wait. How about you? Also- I think next time I'll ask daddy Mako75 to be a secondary beta for those times when I can't ask Master. I hate to subject ye good citizens to my horrible beta-ing skills. I'm an excellent beta when beta-ing for others but in my own work I just skip right over all the mistakes. O.o Oh and if there is something wrong with the time scheme or summat- just ignore it. Your supposed to be focusing on more important things.

Oh and darling Wawuchen, fret not sister, your fic is coming. So- Yes I realise that this story is basically PWP but hey- cut me some slack- at least it has some character development in it! Heh- that and a Ferrari. Two (three if you include Sasori's) mind melting cars that I would love very much to be able to buy after I publish my novel and retire at twenty. So yeah- I've got three years for a spectacular idea to hit me. O.O

Oh and my birthday is January 6 if there are any sweet darling people out there who want to give me gifts XD.

Soooooooo- that's all she wrote folks XD. YES I promise to rewrite 'The Adventures of Sasuke the Chocolate Sauce and the Llama' but I still don't have an available computer. I typed this whole thing while borrowing my sister's laptop. Man there are so many things I want to do with my new comp- re-set my iPod, get better music, update all my profiles, type my fics, twitter, skype, RP, burn illegal CD's (If anyone from the FBI is reading this then I'm just joking....really...I don't break the federal law *shifty eyes*) but you get my drift. Man- how did our parents survive the dark ages without technology. Poor bastards. I am lost without my phone.

So bye ya'll.

Peace.

Cereal: Proud member of the yaoi rebellion- we are that much closer to conquering the world. XD

REVIEW DAMNIT!