I still have writer's block on My Servant, Your Subject, and I think I'm going and enter the twelfth chapter and asked for some help. Any way, I have updated Tunes of Relations in a while and I had a sudden idea for this song, and yeah. I don't know where it came from.

Summary: All the life that had once filled and flood Alfred was gone, just left him

I disown everything.

Arthur could tell himself he was dreaming as many times as he wanted, but he knew the truth, he knew this was no nightmare; it wasn't anything he could wake up from. It was a dark place he was in, and the others were little help. They all wanted to know, but he knew nothing, he was completely helpless. They wanted to in, but his trust had already been stretched so thin, now it shattered on the floor. No, no one was getting in while Arthur was still alive.

No one would hurt his Alfred any more, not his beloved once colony, not the man he hated for little more then a hundred years. No, not Alfred. He would not die and at the hands of another, Arthur didn't want that, however his fear had already worked past him and done that. The clean and white space of the hospital was black and dirty to Arthur now.

Why was he so close, that was the first rule when raising a colony, don't get close. He did and Alfred tore, struggled, and fought his way free, only to never leave him be. So long Arthur wanted him gone, so long he dreaded seeing his face, and now…now he just wanted everything to be over.

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

It was horrible, Alfred had been here for months and things only got worse. It killed Arthur to watch him, watch as all the life Alfred once had, leave, try to find some one else, tried so hard not to die. Alfred's smile was fake now, and the attempts to make Arthur smile and cheer up were weak and crumbling, and still Alfred tried desperately. Time was making things worse, time was always like that to Arthur, things never got better.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

Alfred hardly seemed to cry, much less in the audience of any one. It was only when pain really wracked him, or strong feelings plagued him. Still Arthur's hands were always wet with his tears, trying to comfort the younger nation, the one who was so new to everything. Alfred did the same, feverously trying to dry the tears of Arthur's. They fought side by side, they fought the other, he made sure Alfred felt safe, as best he could.

"Please don't cry Arthur." Alfred complained, frowning and weakly trying to wipe the tears. Arthur gripped his hand, which was becoming colder with each passing day. There had to be something, something to make Alfred better, something…besides his simple being.

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You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

He didn't want to hear it, he couldn't bear to hear. All the life that had once filled and flooded Alfred was gone, it just left him. All that fight, those strong words, fake smiles, they were all for nothing, even though Arthur knew there was hardly any hope that Alfred would have a strong comeback. For so long he wanted to avoid Alfred at all cost, but now he want him to be there with him, like he use to be…alive.

That whole ten minutes plagues Arthur's head, and the other nations could only watch another nation slowly crumble and fade. He remembered how panicked the doctors were, and the fear the washed over him. He fought them, he really did, they just told him he couldn't be in the room. He pushed though, he didn't listen, no he didn't care.

"Arthur…" Alfred asked weakly, searching the room almost blindly.

"Shut up, grit." Arthur said gently. No, don't talk, just save it.

"Arthur…I…" Alfred clearly ignored him.

"Don't talk, please, save your energy." Arthur pleaded.

"I…" Alfred still ignored him. He never got to finish what he said.

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These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Cleaning Alfred's house was harder then Arthur ever thought possible. He clung to his jacket for three days straight; make sure it was in his hand at all times. Arthur couldn't even handle his shed, for some one who was always looking forward, Alfred was a huge pack rat. Still the items inside tore at his heart, Alfred kept everything, and Arthur had tossed just about everything from their time as nation and colony away. Kiku found him sitting there in the dark, gripping an old dusty toy soldier, suit, and rifle. He knew time wasn't going to help the poor Englishman.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

No one wiped his tears; he didn't let any one close. Kiku did all he could, but even then Arthur locked the old him away. No one comfort him when he woke from a nightmare, no said he was being silly and stupid, before cuddling next to him and the sight of a 'ghost'. His fairies just watch him, they whispered to themselves like they would find out what was wrong, slowly they noticed the loud America wasn't around. They knew better then to ask Arthur anything.

No one touched him, he moved before there was contact, he didn't make much talk either. Arthur always managed to get his hand away when Matthew tried to comfort him. He got his shoulder away when Kiku tried to give him encouraging words. He held Ivan off at gun point; Feliciano was nothing more then a simple glare. Arthur would let no other fingertips touch him, no, that was Alfred's job.

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I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

It was beyond repair, try as the other's might, they could make him breath again. Arthur could lie to himself all he wanted, but he knew the truth. He would never hear what Alfred had to say, never see the sky blue eyes with life in them, he would never hear the voice he loved again. His beloved colony was gone, killed by someone else hand. Alfred was gone.

He left Arthur alone, again. Alfred promised he would never leave him alone, no, never again, he swore to him that much. He broke it; Arthur was alone again, abandoned by the one he held so dear. Had he always been alone? Had he just used Alfred to fill some unfillable gap? No, Alfred did more then just that, he wasn't just something to fill up a gap, he was more then that. Still Arthur felt alone in the cold hard world.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

He was sobbing, he had cried like this even in the Revolutionary War. He was screaming for Alfred, for some bloody hero to come save him and take him away. He griped the pole, trying hard to not crumble over in a mess of tears. The cold metal burning through his gloves, reminding him, the cloth that flapped in the air about him was no better.

He was on his knees, clutching the flag, a flag so right for Alfred, praying to God it would stand, that it would remind everyone who lay there. Thunder boomed and it was like the heavens wanted to hide his tears and pain. The familiar coldness, it was all so cruel, so…fitting. Some how he got to his feet, letting go of the pole he had smashed into the ground, it stood with out his help. He gave a crooked smile, giving the fabric a small kiss before going about his way. His time would come, he would wait, he would see Alfred again, he had to.

I will admit I seriously almost cried, expcally in the end. Really, really strong symbolism with Arthur and the Flag (which a large America one by the way). I was debated two different endings aside from this one, one were Arthur laid in the rain by Alfred's grave, or he found the new America, but I like this one better.

Please RxR -holds up tissue-