Cost of Memories

Chapter One – The Mission

He couldn't take his eyes off of her when she was like this, so far away in her mind. She was sitting on one of the window seats in the library, her face lit up by the sun with auburn and platinum streaked hair swept aside to one shoulder, a book in her hand that had been long forgotten as she looked out over the mansions grounds biting her lower lip while deep in thought. She had grown so much over these past three years, and now she was teaching two of her own classes and sharing a couple of them with other teachers.

For the past six months she had been teaching U.S. and World Geography; Added to her Hand to Hand combat and Self Defense for the younger mutants whose powers could not really be used to fight. It was amazing to him how she had never let the fact the she had taken the cure change her status as an X-men or her place among them on the team and she was now one of the most loved and adore teachers in the mansion, right along with Ororo and her newly wed husband Doctor Hank McCoy.

Looking at her even now, it seemed like only yesterday that he had helped her to all her classes her first day here at the mansion, and he remember the way she had captured his heart with just a look from those chocolate brown eyes of hers. They had been together for almost two years before everything changed. Well not everything, he had always known that she had never let herself completely fall in love with him. To tell the truth, he didn't really take it personally since she had seemed to be that way with all the people she cared about, keeping apart of herself closed off and hidden to everyone, well expect Logan.

It finally took him meeting Kitty Pride to understand why she had always had that look in her eyes whenever Logan was in sight. Rogue was 23 now, smart, beautiful, and thankfully still one of his best friends. She had been by his side more so than anyone else at the mansion after they had all lost Jean, Scott and Xavier, and had been one of the stronger ones standing right beside Ororo refusing to let the mansion close.

It was strange that someone he had always loved with so much of his heart could still hold her place there while he was completely head over heels for another woman. It was stranger still that in the end she had been the one to let go of him so that he could be with another even though he hadn't wanted to leave her after she had given up so much for them to be together. Hell just recently she had even agreed to be Kitty's maid of honor at their wedding four months ago. She had been more than an angel to him by stepping so graciously aside to let him be with the woman he was truly in love with, Kitty; which was something neither he nor Kitty would ever forget and always be thankful for.

Bobby looked her over once more before he felt his wife's hand slid up his back and come over his shoulder, which was all it took for her to have his complete attention. He in turn wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she nestled her cheek against his chest. "Hey, baby." He said placing a kiss upon her head before they both turned their attention back the distracted woman sitting in the window.

"So how is she, or have you talked to her yet?" she asked with concern written on her face. After the battle at Alcatraz the next year had been bizarre and unexplainable to say the least, and although all of the people at the mansion had endured a lot of pain and confusion it was safe to say that there were four above the rest that had suffered the brunt of it and were still carrying the scars of it today, both emotionally and physically.

It was only five days after the battle that Rogue had returned "cured" so it speak and that very same day she called it off with Bobby telling him that even though he may not be able to admit it to himself she knew that somewhere along the way he had fallen out of love with her and in love with me. She wasn't angry or bitter, I had even asked her once if she had ever loved Bobby because I couldn't bring myself to comprehend how she could not only let go of him so easily but practically hand him over to another woman.

She had simply replied that she had come to a point in her life that it hurt too much to keep lying to herself, and with that she walked away. It was at that moment I learned more about the courageous detached Rogue than I had ever known before. I had come to realize in the next few months I devoted myself to becoming her best friend that before she had taken the cure she may not have been able to have physical contact with anyone but she had been far from untouched. She was beaten up inside, broken in more ways then one and most of that she blamed herself for saying that she had wrapped herself in a delusion of happiness to avoid facing all truth and pain of everything that happened to her along with the other people she carried in her head.

One of the first truths she had forced her self to face was the love she had been sustaining for the gorgeous Wolverine through all the years; and boy oh boy did that ever blown up in her face in more ways than one. It happened only a week after her return. Rogue told her she had heard Logan having another restless night and went to check on him. He had been acting stranger than usual since the night he had been forced to take Jean's life from her in order to save others.

So as Rogue had always done, she went to him that night, and while Logan was in a fit of sorrow and regrets he offered himself to her and after Rogue had waited so long, wanted him for so long she went against her better judgment gave in and took what he had willingly offered her.

Rogue had told me sometime later that she knew when she had given herself and her virginity to Logan that it was Jean he had on his mind but she thought maybe if she could finally show him she what held for him in her heart was truly more than a crush that somehow she could help him let go of the fantasy he had of him and Jean living having a happily ever after. Alas all she managed to show him was that she was willing and waiting for him whenever and however he wanted. And from what she has told me of their short time together she more than anyone had come to know the real Wolverine in Logan.

Although believe it or not that wasn't even the worst of it; No, that night happened almost two months after their affair had started when Ororo came home with two faces that brought smile and laughter to the whole mansion, Xavier and Scott. Which was quite a shock to everyone, not that is wasn't a good one, it mostly was, but it was also the end of Rogue and Logan.

You see as soon as the Professor had explained that it was Jean had been the one who saved both him and Scott from the fate the Phoenix had planned for them and that somehow Jeans essence and being still existed it didn't take Logan more than and hour to pack his things and go in search for a way to bring Jean back. It was that moment that truly destroyed Rogue along with any and all hope of ever being loved by Logan, or anyone else I think for that matter. And even though she was still the sweet, loving person she had always been something in her had changed, you could see if you looked into her big brown eyes and the way they always seemed to carry a deep sadness in them after that.

Any how here we were three years later when the Professor called all of us in to his office to discuss a very important mission. He had given us all the same warm smile he always did when we entered before he informed us of the dangerous situation we were about to enter. Yet this time as we all sat around his desk in various chairs listening to him explain what he and Hank had discover about a band of a couple of hundred rebellious military soldiers that had gotten their hands on some very dangerous weapons and were forming a revolt against the government and it's acceptances of mutants as just another part of the human race, we knew something was defiantly different about this mission than most of the others we had ever embarked on.

Then as he started revealing to us what actions he was hoping to take to solve the problem. He wanted to infiltrate the compound in which the soldiers had been successful in making a home for them, their troops, and their followers from the inside with two of our own. That way we not only knew the place inside and out but we would be able to be aware of what they were up to and when they were mostly likely to strike as well as where.

The room was in complete and dead silence as it became apparent that Rogue and Scott where the only ones that would be able to play the parts. Since they had both lost their powers due to the cure, it was more than obvious that they would be the easiest to for our rivals to trust, and the least likely to be found out. With a silent nod from both Rogue and Scott they let the Professor know that they understood what he was asking them and was willing to do any job he asked. With that done they then left the room quietly in opposite directions to prepare themselves for their mission to come.

Ro and Hank had followed Scott, and we had trailed after Rogue. And standing here watching her as the first of her silent tears began to fall I knew that the two of them Rogue and Scott had a future before them that only seemed to hold more pain.

"Well here goes nothing." Kitty said finally pulling away from her husband and making her way to her best friend.

Walking up behind her she wrapped her arms around her in a loving embrace before putting her chin on her shoulder and saying "So what's it going to be this time, a girls night out where you, Ro, Jubs and I get completely and one hundred percent plastered in celebration of your last night as a free women, or just a night of you, me and some good old fashion girl talk while I help you pack?" Kitty said playfully to her as she always did in an attempt to get Rogue to smile, which failed badly. "Sweetie you know if you don't want to do this the Profess…."

"It's fine…. I'm… fine." Rogue stated cutting off Kitty in mid sentence unconvincingly as she brushed a few stray tears away.

"Yeah right… say whatever happened to that whole not lying to yourself thing you were trying back when you dumped my husband." Kitty said with a playful smirk on her face as she saw the curve of a smile on her best friend's lips at the smart ass comment.

"Bicth." Was all Rogue replied with a sad smile on her face as she turned and hugged her best friend. If someone had told her five years ago that her boyfriend Bobby would be married to Kitty Pride and that both Kitty and Bobby would be her best friends on top of that she would have fallen on the floor laughing but right now was one of those moments where she couldn't be more grateful to have them both in her life. She loved them so much and would give her life for either of them. And as if listening to her cry about Logan and the lost of her one true love wasn't enough, she was sure that they both would willing to put their life on the line for her as well.

"Yes well I may be a bitch but I am also your best friend and as such I come with certain privileges. One being the fact that am an allowed at any time to give my opinion on any situation you have gotten yourself into." Kitty enlighten her as she took a seat beside her at the window.

"As if not being my best friend would stop you from stating your opinion." Rogue teased with a smile on her face which resulted in Kitty sticking her tongue out at her before she continued.

"Regardless of the fact that you are being mean to me right now I have decided to help you out with your problem anyways. And I must say aside from the fact that it is pretty much an arranged marriage, and will probably only be in name, Scott is a really good catch. I mean come on even you got to admit the man is hot."

Rogue smiled as a flash of the man in question went though her mind. "Ok… it's true, the man is good looking. And even I have caught myself checking him out on more than one occasion. BUT… he is also head over heels in love with Jean to this very day. And we all know how my relationships fair when I'm with a man who's in love with Jean Grey."

"I should have known that this had something to do with Logan. Every time you cry it always seems to come back to him in one way or another. But it's not like you and Scott are going to be in this because you love each other, it's for a mission. And like I was trying to say earlier you don't have to do it. The Professor would completely understand if you weren't willing to spend the next two to five years of your life married to someone for the good of human and mutant harmony. We can always find another way Rogue." Kitty said on a serious note all kidding aside now.

"No, I want… I do want to do this mission. I don't have a problem with acting as or being Scott's wife for however long this takes. I mean like you said there aren't any feelings attached for either of us so actually I think that's another good reason for us to be the ones to go, it will be all business and no confusion. It's just… I just start thinking about how long we are going to be gone, with only limited contact. I'm going miss everybody… I'm going to miss being here at home… and most of all I going to miss my best friend." Rogue confessed with a tears again forming in her eyes.

"I know… I'm going to miss you too. I am probably going to miss you more than you miss me. But now that this is all settled and we know you are going to be getting married in the morning you have two options. One we can get rip roaring drunk and then pack tomorrow before you and your husband… man that's weird… anyways as I was saying before you two leave or we can go ahead and get you packed tonight that way everything's ready tomorrow. And might I add on a personal note I hope you choose the first of the two options simply because you're damn funny when you're drunk."

"Yeah, ok… look whose talking miss I think my feet are missing." Rogue giggled out as she stood up and started making her way out of the library all the while remembering the night they had drank so much that Kitty had to crawl up the stairs due to the fact she couldn't feel her feet.

"You know what I don't want to hear it, you try having my mutation and being three sheets to the wind and then we'll see how well you can walk." Kitty defended as she followed close beside Rogue.

** In The Room Of Scott Summers **

"Scott, honey… are you…" Ororo stated as she leaned herself against his door frame waiting for him to invite her in only to be cut short by his response.

"I'm fine Ro. Please there is no need to waste your time worrying about me." Scott said as he ran his fingers though his hair before went to the closet and started pulling out clothes for him to work out in. As he turned throwing his outfit on the bed he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and paused for a moment looking himself over.

Still after three years he had not gotten used to used to seeing in color or not having to wear his glasses. When he had come awake after the incident at Alkali Lake with Jean he found himself at a hospital in northern New York and without his mutation. In the next few days he had learned from a nurse and Doctor Mora, a friend of the Professors, that the Professor himself was a patient in the very same hospital and that he as well as the Professor had been in some type of coma for almost five weeks. They tried to explain to him that due to complications beyond their control, the sweet doctor had to administer the cure to Scott in order to save his life or at least what little was left of it at the time.

"Well if you decided you need to talk someone, you know where to find me." Ororo said with a sigh as she turned and walked down the hall to her furry husband. She knew that look on his face and as usual he wasn't going to open up to her about what was going on inside and although she deeply wished and prayed he would she knew better than to push him into it.

Scott slumped down into the chair across from the bed as his friend walk away, he hated this. He hated being the cause of her to worry and of her pain for not being able to be there for him. But it just wasn't something any amount of talking would fix as far as he was concerned. He had just agreed no more than an hour ago to be married, to leave home on an extended mission, and it was all happening tomorrow.

In all honesty he had been somewhat shocked when Rogue had agreed as well. He never though she would be willing to marry any one but her precious Logan. Logan… once again he was going to have to compete with the almighty Wolverine, except this time the woman they would be fighting over would actually be his wife. True there were no feeling between him and Rogue, and they would be married basically for the mission and their cover, but still if she was going to be his wife regardless of the fact that it was for undercover purposes he would expect her to be loyal and faithful to him just as he would to her. Not to mention the fact that they will be closely watched by the people that they will be living with inside of the compound for the next two to five years, neither of them could risk being found out by going out with someone else while they were suppose to be the happily married couple they were going to be posing as.

Which meant when Logan finally figures out that it isn't possible to bring Jean back and came back to claim his Rogue, he would get the shock of his life when he finds out Rogue is not only taken but married to one person he couldn't stand the most, the one and only boy wonder himself, Scott. The thought of that actually put a smile on Scotts face for a moment, before the thought of what if Logan was actually able to bring Jean back seeped its way into his mind. Who would be smiling then? He stood and pushed the thought from his head, Jean was gone for real this time. There was no coming back he said to himself as he picked up his workout clothes once again and made his way to the gym.