Tempus Fugit

Greatest Regret

Squall had never felt more nervous than he did on that day. That morning alone, he overcooked breakfast, dropped the pot of coffee, and ended up walking around with his shirt inside out and unbuttoned before his darling fiancé took pity on him and made him sit down.

"I don't know what's wrong with me today…" he muttered as he leaned back against the couch. He felt a weight settle down beside him before gentle hands removed his shirt. He cracked his eyes open to peer over at his attentive fiancé as he turned the shirt right-side out and made sure all of the buttons were still there. Squall leaned forward without having to be told and gave a grateful sight as the soft material was wrapped back around him. He tried to reach up and start buttoning it up, only to have his hands batted away. He raised an eyebrow at his blond lover but let those nimble fingers do their work.

"Cloud, thank you," he murmured, giving the blond a kiss on the cheek.

The corners of Cloud's lips briefly curled up into what could have been a smile but quickly faded into a look of concern. He took Squall's face in his hands, making the younger man look him in the eyes. 'What's wrong?' he seemed to be asking.

Squall gently pulled Cloud's hand down away from his face before dropping his gaze to the floor. "I guess… I'm nervous. My father isn't the most logical man."

Cloud tilted his head to the side, his blue eyes flickering uncertainly.

"It's complicated," Squall said with a sigh. "He's just so… so infuriatingly clueless. He acts like a little kid! I don't understand him at all!"

Cloud sat back and patiently listened to his lover's rant. Laguna Loire--the man who was Squall's father--was a sensitive topic in the household. To say the father-son pair was constantly at odds with itself was an understatement. To his credit, Laguna had tried several times, and was still trying, to strike up a bond with his stubborn son. Squall always refused.

Cloud didn't really understand it himself. Sure, he had his own family problems, but he wouldn't give up his often-snarky, dorky little brothers for anything in the world, even if they did cause him trouble and grief on a weekly basis.

Belatedly, Cloud realized there was still the cloying scent of something burning permeating through the house. He excused himself by brushing his hand against Squall's arm before getting up and making his way to the kitchen.

Squall watched him go, momentarily distracted by the sight of Cloud's backside--his shapely butt in particular. Then his mind drifted back to his father and his fingers began to fiddle with the buttons on his shirt.

It wasn't that he hated his father. He may have back when he was seventeen and the man suddenly reappeared in his life and expected everything to be "hunky dory" (Laguna's words, not his), but he was over that. No, he simply could not for the life of him figure out what Laguna was thinking! The man acted so irrational and childish whenever he saw him that Squall had a difficult time imagining him as a celebrated war-hero, let alone the CEO of a mega-conglomerate. In the eight years he had known the man, not once had he been able to get through a serious conversation without the man stammering his way through a sentence or trying to make a joke at the worst time. Not to mention all of the dishes that had been dropped by the clumsy man or the number of times he had tripped and fallen. Squall counted it a miracle that his father was still alive.

Squall groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Why the hell did I agree to this?" he asked himself, his voice muffled.

An image of the hopeful expression on Cloud's face when he mentioned that Laguna wanted to meet him came to mind, and he groaned for a second time thanks to his weakness for handsome blue-eyed blonds.

He lifted up his head and let his hands fall back to the hem of his shirt when he heard the 'clink' of his coffee mug being set on one of the ceramic coasters. He started to lean forward to pick it up, but stopped when Cloud shook his head and pointed to his shirt. His face instantly flushed pink when he saw that, in his nervousness, he had accidentally unbuttoned his shirt, leaving it free to reveal his sculpted chest to the world.

A simply uttered "oh" escaped his lips as he continued to stare at the buttons. Why was he wearing a shirt with buttons anyway? Why hadn't he just put on his usual white t-shirt and saved himself the trouble?

A silent sigh brushed past Cloud's lips as he once again buttoned up the shirt. Then he patted Squall's chest as if to say, "Don't touch those buttons again!"

Squall gave him a strained smile before he pulled him down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him. "Can't I call and cancel?" he asked.

Cloud tapped Squall's hand in warning. 'No.'

"…you're right…" Squall unhappily admitted. "Alright, lets go."

Cloud remained where he was, knowing it was going to take a while longer before his stubborn brunet would actually get up.

Squall fidgeted with the top button of his shirt as he and Cloud walked up the steps of the Loire Mansion. Cloud left him alone. It was either the top button or one of the ones on his sleeves, and the ones on his sleeves were about ready to fall off. He drew the line when Squall's hand wandered down to the next button.

Cloud casually took a step to the side and brushed shoulders with Squall to remind him that he was there. The brunet glanced over at him and then let his hand fall back to his side, where it immediately sought out his lover's and intertwined their fingers. Cloud gave his hand a gentle squeeze when they reached the top of the steps. The simple act bolstered Squall's confidence to a level where he didn't hesitate at all to reach up and ring the doorbell. It was only after the second loud 'gong' announcing their presence that Cloud felt him twitch. He automatically tightened his grip and stepped closer, silently telling him, "I'm here. Don't try and run away."

The door opened and for a split second Cloud thought for sure that Squall was going to rip his arm off in an attempt to run away. To his surprise, Squall straightened up so his back was ramrod straight and a perfectly calm and indifferent look appeared on his face.

"Name?" the butler asked.

Cloud wondered if the man was new to the house or if Squall didn't visit enough to be remembered. A more scathing part of his brain tried to make a remark about the man being blind to not see the similarities between the two men. Cloud may have never met Laguna, but he'd seen pictures.

"Squall Leonhart and Cloud Strife," Squall spoke up, his voice betraying none of his true feelings.

Cloud shuddered. He would gladly take back the clumsy, extremely nervous Squall from earlier that morning if it meant he wouldn't have to hear that emotionless tone in his lover's voice anymore.

"Ah, young master," the butler greeted, opening the door wider. "Do come in. Master Loire has been expecting you for some time."

Cloud shot a look at Squall, demanding to know if he purposely wrote down the wrong time. All he received was a hand squeeze and a gentle tug as Squall led him into the grand hallway and then into a mossy green room.

The moment they entered the room, with the butler hurrying ahead of them to unnecessarily announce their presence, a tall man with graying brown hair stood up and promptly bumped his long legs into the tea table, sending two china cups crashing to the floor.

Cloud could already see a greater resemblance between the father-son pair.

"S-Squall! How wonderful to see you again!" the older man stammered, his eyes flickering between the broken china and his son. Finally he decided that looking at Squall was of greater importance. "I- uh-" he tried to shuffle out of the way of the maid as she nonchalantly walked over and swept up the pieces. Before she left, she pushed the tea set away from the edge of the table and replaced the broken cups with ones from her pockets. Then she curtsied and silently left the room.

The whole matter was handled so effortlessly that Cloud had to wonder if it was an ordinary occurrence.

"Come," Laguna said, sweeping out his arms as if to give Squall a hug. "Sit! And introduce this friend of yours! You've never brought a friend to visit before. I was beginning to wonder if you had any." He froze at the glare he received from his son and realized too late that he said the wrong thing.

Nevertheless, Squall led Cloud over to the couch across from Laguna and stiffly sat down. Cloud sat down beside him, wondering if he was ever going to get to use his hand during the visit. For that matter, he hoped he would be able to regain feeling in that hand.

"Laguna," (the man flinched at the use of his first name) "this is Cloud Strife. We're living together," Squall said bluntly.

If anyone was expecting some kind of loud or angry reaction to the news, they were sorely disappointed.

Laguna looked at Cloud curiously for a moment before his attention drifted back to Squall. Then he smiled and said, "I'm glad you've become such good friends with your roommate! I have to admit though, I was hoping it was a girlfriend who you were bringing over. But there's always time for that later!" he said enthusiastically. "Anyway, I'm sure there are tons of girls just clamoring for your attention, you just need to meet the right one!"

For the first time in a very long time, Cloud wanted to laugh. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected to find any man as genuinely clueless and carefree as his youngest brother, Sora. But there he was, sitting across from a man who was just like his brother--a man who just happened to be the father of his fiancé.

Squall, meanwhile, scowled and tightened his grip on Cloud's hand. "There are no women clamoring for my attention," he said through gritted teeth.

Laguna's smile slipped away for a split second. "O-oh," he said, sounding disappointed. "So, um… tea! Yes, how about some tea?" he asked, his cheer returning full-force.

Before anyone could stop him, Laguna scooted forward and reached for one of the tea cups. Then moment his picked it up, it slipped free of his fingers, bounced off the table, and then crashed into the ground. "Ah," he murmured bleakly.

For a second time, the maid bustled into the room and cleaned up the mess before replacing the cup and leaving the room.

Cloud looked up at Squall and waited until he had his attention before he looked meaningfully down at their still-linked hands. Squall reluctantly released them and Cloud flexed his fingers a few times before he got up to serve the tea.

"Y-you don't have to do that! You're the guest!" Laguna protested, moving as if to stop Cloud.

"Leave him." Squall's cold tone froze Laguna in his tracks. "Cloud makes the best cups of tea."

Cloud was pleased to hear the warmer tone of his Squall in that last sentence. Laguna seemed to notice the change of tone as well, for he sat back and happily accepted a cup when Cloud handed it to him.

"So, Cloud, how long have you known each other?" he asked.

"Sixteen years," Squall spoke up.

"Sixteen years?" Laguna repeated in surprise. "If that's how long it takes to bring a friend to see me, I'd hate to see how long it'd take for you to bring a girlfriend," he said jokingly. And again, he realized too late that he had said the wrong thing when Squall's eyes narrowed.

Deciding that it was high time he intervened, Cloud finished making his cup of tea and then took back his spot on the couch beside Squall. Then he handed over the cup of plain tea to Squall, who took it with the barest hint of a smile on his face.

For what felt like hours, but was really only about three minutes, the three men sat in awkward silence and sipped on their tea. But then Laguna began to fidget, unable to handle the silence. So he decided to try and learn more about Cloud.

"How long have you two been living together?" he asked, figuring it couldn't have been more than a year or so.

"Ten years."

Laguna fumbled with his tea cup as his eyes went wide. "Since you were fifteen?!" he exclaimed. "But that's so long! And you were never there when I visited!" He directed the last part at Cloud, who shrugged and looked at Squall.

"He had work," Squall said simply.

Truthfully, the few times Laguna had visited the apartment he always sent Cloud and his younger brothers out on long errands. And to ensure they were gone long enough, he enlisted the help of several friends to keep them busy. It worked, though he always felt a little guilty about it.

"Oh," Laguna said, deflating a little bit. "Well you should have told me! I would have cleared extra time so I could meet him."

"I didn't want to trouble you," Squall lied before setting down his tea cup. "Excuse me for a moment. I need to use the bathroom."

Laguna nodded distractedly. "Sure. You know where it is."

He watched as his son stood up and patted the blond man on the shoulder, his hand lingering for a little bit longer than was necessary. He kept his eyes trained on the couch as Squall left the room.

For a moment there was silence. Then Laguna leaned forward and delicately set his china cup on the table, his whole demeanor changing before Cloud's eyes. A wave of nausea crept up on Cloud when the thought that he was about to see the serious, businessman side of Laguna crossed his mind. He relaxed when he saw the tired look in the older man's green eyes.

"So, you're Cloud, right?" Laguna asked, and Cloud realized with a start that he even sounded tired. "You don't talk much, huh? It's okay. You remind me of a friend of mine. Your quietness, that is."

Cloud offered a hesitant smile and nodded before he started to look around the room. After glancing over a few photographs, one in particular caught his attention. It was of a young man--who was obviously a younger Laguna--and a beautiful young woman who looked a stunning amount like Squall.

Laguna followed his gaze and smiled tenderly when he saw what had captured his attention. "That's Raine," he offered softly. "Everyone says he looks like me, but they're wrong; Squall looks just like his mother."

Cloud nodded his agreement, finding it very easy to revise his earlier opinion.

"My greatest regret," Laguna began sadly. "Is that I wasn't there for Squall when he was growing up. I promised her. I promised I would raise him to the best of my abilities if anything were to happen to her, just as she promised if anything happened to me. But her memory… it was too painful. Every time I looked at him I was reminded of her. He was her eyes… her face… I couldn't handle that. And eventually I convinced myself that I couldn't possibly be a good father figure for him so I… I gave him to an old friend. She and her husband were running an orphanage for children left parentless by the war and I knew he'd be in good hands, but…" he trailed off, his eyes staring into the distance.

Cloud's heart went out to the man. If anything were to happen to Squall… He couldn't stand to think of what he would do. He could only pray that it would never happen.

"…I've always regretted it," Laguna said, almost inaudibly. "Always." He looked up to meet Cloud's eyes and in that fraction of a second, Cloud understood. Laguna's words weren't meant for him. They were meant for Squall.

There was a shuffle from the doorway and Cloud jerked his head around to stare at Squall as he stood there, frozen in surprise. He had caught the tail-end of the conversation and was having a hard time finding his composure.

Laguna realized that Squall was back in the room a split second after he reached for his cup of tea. In his surprise to see his son back so soon, his hand jerked and sent the cup flying off the table.

In the back of his mind, Clod registered that it was the fourth cup the man had broken.

"S-Squall! Welcome back!"

Squall said nothing as he took back his spot beside Cloud and watched the maid calmly clean up. Then, to everyone's surprise, he nodded at Laguna and said, "Thank you, but I was only gone a minute."

The bright smile that split across Laguna's face could have powered Squall and Cloud's apartment for a year. At last his efforts were beginning to pay off!

Squall shifted uncomfortably and wished there was some way he could go back in time to stop himself from saying anything. The smile was a little creepy on Laguna, especially since the only other person he knew who smiled like that was Sora. The only difference was that Sora could pull it off and look even more adorable than usual.

Cloud elbowed him and briefly inclined his head towards Laguna before pointing it at himself and then Squall.

Squall got the message.

Laguna watched the exchange with only a minimal amount of confusion showing on his face.

Squall cleared his throat and straightened his back as he looked his father in the eyes. "La- Father," he hastily corrected with a wince. "There's something you should know about Cloud and I. We're not just roommate, we're--"

"Daddy!" Ellone cried as she hurried into the room, her light green shawl half off of her shoulders.

Squall growled in frustration at having been interrupted. 'Damn it.'

"You'll never believe who I ran into when I was in the city! Rinoa Heartilly, can you believe it? We had lunch together and everything! It was just like old times," Ellone happily told her adoptive father before realizing that he had company. "Oh, Squall! I didn't know you were coming to visit! Daddy, you could have told me. Oh! Who's your friend?"

"Cloud," Squall briefly introduced, trying not to be too annoyed with her. It was hard when she was such a talkative person and he had something to say for once, otherwise he would have been more than happy to let her continue on.

"Nice to meet you, Cloud," Ellone said cheerfully. "I'm Ellone, Squall's big sister."

Cloud inclined his head towards her, wondering if Squall was the only quiet person in his whole family.

"So, you had a good trip?" Laguna asked, joining in on the conversation.

"Yes!" Ellone said with a nod. "It was wonderful! I got to go see everything I wanted to and I even got to try some of the local cuisine! Some of it was a little odd, but altogether it wasn't all that bad. Except for this one weird dessert that Rinoa made me try. It wasn't very tasty, though she seemed to like it. I don't know though, she kind of has odd taste so--"

"Cloud and I are engaged." Squall said loudly.

The room went deathly silent as Ellone and Laguna turned to face the pair sitting on the couch.

"E-engaged?" Ellone squeaked. "Y-you mean, you're gay? S-since when?"

Squall shrugged. "It's hard to say. We started dating nine years ago, I believe," he said, looking to Cloud for confirmation. When Cloud nodded, he looked back at his father and Ellone, wondering if Laguna was going to say anything about his news. The poor man looked like he was in shock.

Finally, he blinked and the familiar jovial light re-entered his eyes. That was when Squall knew he was about to say something incredibly stupid.

"You'll have such cute babies!" Laguna exclaimed in a joking voice. Ignoring Ellone's shocked cry of "d-daddy!", he plowed on. "I hope they have Squall's brown hair and those gorgeous blue eyes of yours, Cloud."

Cloud blushed and dropped his eyes to the ground. One would think he'd be used to receiving compliments about his stunningly blue eyes.

"Are you sure you want to be part of my family?" Squall quietly asked him.

'I'm not so sure anymore,' Cloud thought, daring to raise his head to look up at his lover. He must have had a look of pure and utter uncertainty on his face, because the next thing he knew Squall was chuckling in amusement. So he frowned and smacked his shoulder, taking some pleasure in the quiet "ow" that spilled from Squall's lips.

"Aww, you two are so cute together," Ellone crooned.

"So, which one of you is going to wear the dress?" Laguna teased playfully. "Personally, I'm hoping it's you, Squall."

"Neither of us will be wearing a dress," Squall growled.

"But you'd look so great in a dress!" Ellone joined in.

"Yes! And Ellone could do your hair!"

"I'm not going to wear a dress! And neither is Cloud!"

All in all, it was a good day, Cloud thought. He finally got to meet Squall's father and sister and they both took the news of their engagement very well. Squall even set aside his differences with his father, if only for the moment, and was engaged in what could be considered a conversation that involved him using more than just a few words or silence to respond.

It was nice. Not necessarily peaceful, and not by any means perfect, but it was nice.

Cloud smiled as he watched Squall bicker with his family over the wedding dress. He had a feeling they would be seeing much more of Laguna from then on.

0-0-0

The End

0-0-0

This is the first in my new series of one shots. They'll all have the main title of "Tempus Fugit" and then their own title (it'll probably be shorted to something like "TF: Greatest Regret" for the title). They're all going to be related to each other, but I'm hoping to make each one be able to stand on its own.

I'm currently working on the next one (TF: The Accident), which will also be focusing on Squall and Cloud. It'll explain the reason why Cloud doesn't speak.

Personally, I think Squall looks more like Laguna. But I imagine that Laguna would say he looks more like Raine.