Penname: jarielynn_1210

Story Title: Sometimes It's Not Enough

Rating: *nc-17

Chapter: Prologue

Chapter Summary: **Set up of Edwards's emotional state without Bella. Want reader to be able to feel his need for her. Want to give reader the feeling that they need to read story. Also was beta'd once before and was told too choppy. Tried to fix and make flow more. What do you think?

Disclaimer: I have no rights to these characters or anything Twilight. The all belong to Stephanie Meyer. Also I need to thank Airborne Toxic Event for their song Sometime Around Midnight, which inspired me to write this.

Prologue- I Need to See Her

My mouth was suddenly dry and my grip tightened on the glass I was holding. She was standing by the bar, still absolutely beautiful. My eyes devoured her, taking all of her in. A bar light above her was reflecting off her hair and it shone like silk as it flowed in waves over her shoulders. It was always so soft to the touch. The white dress she wore flowed around her body, clinging to her curves, riding low on her chest giving me just a glimpse of heaven. The thin material moved over her tiny waist, and ended just above her knees. I gasped; the high heels she was wearing made her legs look deliciously long and graceful. She never wore high heels. I was completely stunned; she took my breath away. A smile lit up her face as she leaned in to talk to the small pixie-like girl who stood beside her. She looked completely happy, her eyes sparkling as she laughed, a warm glow infusing her cheeks. God, I missed that smile; it had been years since I last saw it. Sorrow pierced my heart, leaving it withering in my chest as her smile reached out to me, across the room, causing tears to spring to my eyes.

She looked up and caught me staring at her. Her chocolate brown eyes widened in surprise. I glanced down, befuddled, not sure what to do, blinking my eyes rapidly to clear the tears. When I eventually looked back up, a small smile played on her lips. A timid smile crossed mine and I tipped my glass at her. She said something to the girl next to her, and started walking over. Oh, God. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as my breathing quickened and tension curled in me, my shoulders tightening, and my lips pressing into a firm line. The chair seemed to sway under me so I grabbed the table tightly; clinging to it, as the room suddenly seemed to be spinning.

Smiling, she stood in front of me. "Hello, Edward. How are you?" Her voice penetrated through the haze around me and the room stilled. Pictures from the past invaded my mind like a slide show, slowly driving me insane. I could see her lying naked in my arms and the stirring between my legs caused me to shudder.

"Hello." I didn't know what else to say. No words would form in my head. All I could do was stand there and stare at her. Memories were coursing through me and I saw her again, naked, under me with that beautiful smile on her face. Impossibly, my breathing became even more erratic. What is happening? My fingers dug groves into the table I was clenching. Swallowing, I tried to prepare myself to talk to her, but I couldn't. Why can't I say something?

"You look good," she said. Her gaze traveled down the length of my body and then back up to my eyes. I continued to stare. Her eyes were dark pools of swirling chocolate, and I couldn't pull myself out of them.

My silence continued. She was here in front of me and I couldn't say anything. Even after all this time, everything I had always wanted to say to her escaped my memory. I took a deep breath in, taking in her scent. With a sigh, I realized she still smelled of freesia and strawberries. More memories assaulted me, tearing at my mind and leaving me with an intense desire to grab her, to kiss her, to feel her skin underneath my fingertips, and to hear her moan my name. Instead I did nothing, fear and desire were warring inside me and fear won. Powerless, I stood as a coward in front of her, unable to even say her name.

The smile faded from her lips and confusion filled her gaze. "Well, it was good to see you again… I guess." She bit her bottom lip and I wanted to reach out and pull it back out from between her teeth. My fists clenched the table tighter as she turned around to leave.

"Wait." I finally spoke; though it came out a strangled whisper of longing. But it was too late; she was walking away. My mind screamed at me to not let her go. NO! Come back! My hand pathetically reached out to her, but she didn't notice and kept walking. My body began to tremble in defeat and sorrow as the distance between us grew.

I watched her walk back to her friend, but someone else was there now, too. His fingers gently touched Bella's cheek and he scowled darkly. His eyes left her face to glare at me. Who is he?! My eyes narrowed on him, wondering what he meant to her. Was he her new lover? Did she belong to him now? A snarl formed on his lips and his posture stiffened as he took in my gaze. His hand slid down Bella's arm, wrapping around it securely and pulling her closer to him. Anger seemed to pulsate out of him and in my direction.

My eyes flickered back to Bella and I looked into her eyes; tears were spilling from them, trailing down her now pale cheeks. Pain slashed through me at the site of her tears. Once again, in my complete idiocy, I had made Bella cry. Silently, my eyes pleaded with hers. Please, I am sorry… The guy pulled on her arm as she returned her gaze to him and they walked out the door together.

My mind was screaming at me to go after her causing my head to pound incessantly. It was as if my brain was being ripped to shreds leaving me incoherent, unable to process thought or sound. I tried to walk forward, but stumbled over my own feet, my ability to focus lost. A gigantic weight seemed to be pressing down on me, my steps became sluggish and I needed to sit down. Grabbing the nearest chair I fell into it and pressed my face into my hands.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. Emmet was looking at me, a wary expression on his face. "Dude, what is wrong with you? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

But she wasn't a ghost, she was real and I had to get up, I had to follow her. Shaking my head and blinking rapidly I cleared my vision and ran out of the bar into the street. I sensed people staring at me. I must look like a madman. I didn't care. I had to see her. Where did she go? Panic surged through me. Where is she? My thoughts consumed me and my hands gripped my hair, tugging at it. God, I have to see her. I wondered frantically if she could possibly still live in the same apartment I had last seen her in two years ago. I was going to find out. I need to see her. The need was like a slow burn through my heart.

"Edward, where are you going? We can't leave, I need to go back and get Rose." I hadn't even heard Emmett come up behind me and his voice startled me, distracting me from my search. I turned to face him and he was gesturing behind him at the club.

I threw him my car keys. "Stay as long as you want," I mumbled. "I have to go find her." I walked to the street and hailed a cab.

As I was getting in I heard Emmett yell, "Edward! Who?!"

"Bella." Her name came out a strangled whisper.

Somehow Emmett must have heard me, because he lurched forward with intentions of grabbing my arm. I slammed the door, barely missing his fingers. "Shit! Edward, don't do this! She'll break you apart." His voice held a touch of panic as he called after me, but I wasn't listening.

Her address flowed from my lips…I still remembered it. The cab pulled away from the curb. Leaning back in the seat, I closed my eyes and allowed the memories to wash over me.