I've had this idea in mind for a long while, long before the finale of season five, and as have been waiting for the rug from being pulled out from under us again. The "Post it wedding," was a tender, sweet, romantic "prelude" to a wedding; one that it seems Ms. Rhimes believes should not take place. The comments made hours after the end of season five, precipitated wanting to write it out. Reverberations of the post it note, as Ms. Rhimes indicated.

I'm a die hard Meredith & Derek fan, and believe me in spite of the title and Grey's creator's cryptic tone, this one or two shot, will end as it should, and hope would not disappoint any of you that want to read this. But, I'm thinking I want to diffuse all that is now left hanging over our heads, just waiting for the other shoe to drop where this couple is concerned.

There were two scenes, which I can't post you tube here, that to me clearly showed Meredith indeed was ready and wanted to be married to Derek that day.

However, Grey's creator has stated the following, and I respectfully disagree.

Did Meredith and Derek really get married last night?

RHIMES: Their wedding was a Post-it note. We had a big series of discussions about it in the writers' room. I felt very strongly -- very very strongly -- that the last thing Meredith Grey would do is put on a wedding dress and walk down an aisle. It just felt wrong to me, Meredith being Meredith. And the Post-it wedding will have big reverberations next season.

Will we still get an official wedding at some point?

RHIMES: I think they feel it is an official wedding.

Meredith and Derek fans felt a little cheated by the 100th episode because they were led to believe one thing and they got another.

RHIMES: Yeah, I saw a lot of people felt like, "Oh my god, they promised it was going to be a Meredith and Derek wedding." I never said it was Meredith and Derek's wedding, I said it was their wedding day.

I posted the first two paragraphs I wrote last week on another board and asked if there was an interest in reading, and there was, so wrote the first chapter today. Let me know if there's interest in reading the rest here. Warm regards, Jasmin

Heartbreaking reverberations - Chapter 1 - "Beyond the Post it wedding"

"Plenty of time," Derek had said several weeks before, confident of their future life together, and posted the blue note on her locker, a three by three square piece of paper that held promises of forever.

"Plenty of time," Meredith kept hearing those words, a litany of heartache, over and over again. Her entire body numb, and hours after her world had once again become undone, she sat staring beyond the immediate distance, reliving the last twenty four hours, while the hollow empty gaze of her eyes deeply affected all those that loved her, and even some who still harbored no affection toward her. All who loved her, except the man she gave her heart to, her soul mate. He'd been wrong. Time had run out for them.

Meredith felt a renewed sense of panic and despair. It had been months since she last experienced a panic attack, but now everything had caught up with her with a vengeance and she could feel the familiar tightening of her lungs, the threat of breathing becoming difficult and she would not let everyone around her, gawking at what she knew must seem like a catatonic state, witness her breakdown. However, before that could happen, the wave of nausea rolled in and she stood attempting to run away, and as she did the lightheaded sensation forced her to reach behind her praying she'd find an anchoring structure to hold on to but failed as dizziness overwhelmed her and before she could react her body gave out and her world became black. Black as the future she feared was in store for her, for them.

Mark Sloan had been talking quietly to Lexie as they watched Meredith with concern, and when she got up he knew immediately something was wrong and quickly bridged the distance between them and caught her before her body slumped to the floor.

Alarmed voices filled the confines of the surgical waiting area as Mark rushed Meredith to an examining room, while calling out to Lexie, "page Bailey, 911" and another six people followed him crowding the small room as he began by taking her blood pressure.

"What's going on," Bailey's voice commanded walking down the hall and facing Lexie, "Grey there better be a good reason for a 911."

"It was… Mark…Dr. Sloan," she said, " Meredith…she fainted…passed out…he's…"

"Where is she?" Bailey asked now running right along Lexie until she reached the room where Meredith lay in a crowded examining room a mere two minutes after her world had slipped away from her.

Mark was taking her blood pressure and had given orders for an EKG, and that was what greeted Miranda Bailey as the mobile unit was brought in amidst the chaos and raised voices that abounded.

"Everyone," she raised her voice, "out."

Numerous complaints included, "we're doctors too; I'm her person; I'm her sister."

"Then you should know better. All of you, out now," she ordered and all reluctantly obeyed, leaving her only with Sloan. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Mark responded as he took a deep breath and removed the cuff. "She was sitting in the waiting room without saying a word, and then she got up and I could tell something was wrong and caught her right before she hit the floor.

"What's her BP?"

"On the low side," he said, "I asked that the EKG…" he stopped as Meredith stirred and looked around the room and attempted to raise her head, but again was met with the earlier dizzy and lightheaded betrayal by her body.

"Grey," Bailey spoke as she stood next to her holding her wrist while taking her pulse, "you know better than to try to get up."

"What…what happened…" she said looking around the room.

"You passed out, dropped to the ground," Mark smiled, "well, almost if I hadn't been there to catch you, you could have just asked you know," he said, a miserable failed attempt at humor, "instead of trying to make Shep jealous."

"I passed out," she repeated, "fainted…how long…"

"Apparently so," Bailey said, "and you were out just a couple minutes from what I can tell, but we're going to take an EKG and figure out what's going on."

Meredith took a deep breath, recalling her need to get up and leave the room as she had began to feel everything closing in around her, then… all went black, surely something more had happened, "oh God…" she said with a half broken sob, "it's Derek, what's wrong…all I remember…I got up…and …tell me," she was becoming increasingly agitated, "Mark…please…tell me what's wrong…he's…he's…"

Mark reached for her hand, "right now, let's take care of you…"

"Oh…no…" she tried to get up, "Derek…he can't…Mark…tell me," she pleaded, "tell me he's ok."

"Meredith," Miranda said, in an unusually gentle tone, "you know Derek has the best possible care, but you're our concern right now."

"No," she said emphatically. "I need to know, please…Miranda…it's his second surgery…please…tell me did something else go wrong?"

"No," Mark interrupted, "nothing has changed."

"You…you wouldn't lie…"

"I would not lie to you," Mark assured her.

"It's been...Mark, it's been too long since he's been in surgery…can you go…please check on him."

"Go on," Miranda Bailey said, "go on…we all need to hear good news."

"I'll be back," Mark said, and squeezed her hand."Do as she tells you."

"Meredith," Miranda said softly, "we'll do an EKG and figure out…"

"I don't need an EKG," Meredith protested.

"Sure you do," Miranda stated firmly, "Grey, you know that's fairly standard when someone passes out cold."

"Not if it's a matter of a couple of minutes… you know that."

"Well we're not going to take any chances, and have to put up with that husband of yours and his temper for not taking care of you properly."

"Oh…God," Meredith said, "oh…God…" she repeated as tears pooled in her eyes, and then whispered quietly, "there was no time…no time…and now…he…he could be gone…and he doesn't know… he doesn't know…" she said before she began to sob.

Miranda Bailey prided herself in being able to maintain professional detachment, but also knew she was a fake, for she did become emotionally involved with patients, especially patients that in spite of the age difference making it impossible for them to be her children, they sometimes were. Meredith Grey and her friends were indeed like family, and Miranda's maternal feelings were never too far away, though certainly disguised, unless they were faced with the harsh cold reality of life and death situations.

Meredith's body was wracked with heart wrenching sobs, and every once in a while, she would utter a discernible word as Miranda held her and allowed her to cry, "he doesn't know…he doesn't know."

"Meredith," Miranda tried to soothe, "what doesn't he know…what is it…what doesn't Derek know?"

"No time," Meredith said as the tiny woman held her, "Derek said we had plenty of time…and now…he may be gone…Dr. Bailey…I can't lose him…I can't lose him now."

"Listen to me," Miranda released her hold on her and held her tear filled gaze, "your husband is not going to die. He is far too stubborn…but if you don't let me take care of you now, I'm going to have one very angry attending reminding me he's my boss…and raking me over the coals for not doing a full work up on his wife," she emphasized, unaware of the effect those words would have on Meredith.

"He's not," Meredith said quietly, tears slowly escaping, "no time," she said again, and Miranda began to worry as she was not making sense, but then Meredith uttered the words that would bring heartbreaking reverberations.

"Derek," her voice quivered, and her entire body trembled, "he…he's not my husband," Meredith said as a stunned looking Miranda was rendered speechless just seconds after Mark opened the door and she turned to witness the incredulous gazes directed their way by Derek's sisters and Carolyn Shepherd as they stood beyond the slightly open door.