Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story. Nada. Except the idea maybe.

Warning: It's probably going to be slash. I haven't really made up my mind yet, but the possibility/probability is there. It would be K/S.

Chapter 1

It wasn't until recently that Jim fully understood why he wasn't a fan of psychics or palm readers or fortune tellers. They all existed for one reason: to tell Jim about the future. Future loves, future adventures, future failures...everything that he wouldn't want to know about what was going to happen to him. And while Jim didn't put a whole lot of faith into the people who were part of these professions, he still didn't want to risk a visit and coming away with disillusioned ideas about what should be. After all, they couldn't be wrong all the time. It was simply better not to chance it.

Jim spent a lot of time avoiding these kind of people, and had been very successful at it too. Until recently, anyways. How was he supposed to know that he would be saved by someone who was not only capable of telling him about future occurrences, but was from the future itself? How was he supposed to know that a mind meld would tell him more than he would ever want to know about an alternate reality that wasn't completely impossible in his reality? How was he supposed to know that conversing with the older Spock would lead him to believe that he should have a close friendship with the younger Spock?

Jim groaned to himself softly, sitting in his room with a book in his lap. He had been attempting to read for the better part of the last hour, but found that it was a harder task than he had originally anticipated. He kept getting distracted by his own thoughts. Or, at least he thought they were his thoughts. After the mental invasion he experienced, he wasn't ever one hundred percent sure about what was happening in his mind.

He had thought things were going to change after he and Spock had worked together on defeating Nero and the Narada. After all, nothing brings people closer together than a near death experience and the teamwork that helps save the world. But apparently Spock had missed that memo. Or had at least gotten a different one. Jim had gotten his hopes up after Spock had expressed his interest in being Jim's first officer. Spock took Jim's rank seriously, though, and refused to address him in an informal manner, even when they were alone, which was rare. They almost only associated when they were both on duty. And Jim wasn't sure what kind of friendship could be formed on purely formal, work-oriented groundwork.

Jim couldn't help but feel like he wouldn't be so bothered about it if he had no idea that they were supposed to be friends. And not just friends, but close friends. If he hadn't known, then he wouldn't have expected them to be friends, and sure, while he might not have been thrilled with the tension that still existed between them, he wouldn't have any idea about what it should be and he definitely wouldn't be bothered by what it wasn't. The fact that, at one point in time, in a different reality, Spock and Jim had been close made Jim want that connection more than he had ever wanted any other relationship ever in his entire life. The relationship that the older Spock (Spock Prime, Jim reminded himself) had told him about seemed so elusive right now that it only made him want it more. After all, Jim always enjoyed a challenge.

But, for some reason, Jim didn't feel like it should be such a challenge. The ease and familiarity that had existed between him and Spock Prime had been apparent, which led Jim to believe that it should inherently be there with his Spock. But it was like Spock didn't even want to try.

Jim sighed and stood up, giving up his illusion of reading. He put the book back on the bookcase and looked around his room. He really should clean up. It wasn't like the room was trashed, but there was enough clutter that made it painfully obvious that Jim wasn't much of a cleaner. Oh well. It added character. But no one likes a dirty character, Jim thought, acknowledging that his analogy didn't really make any sense as he started to tidy his room. Which amounted to him picking an object up and wondering where to put it before setting it back down where it had been before, possibly a little bit straighter than it had been before.

But his thoughts lingered on his first officer. I have, and always shall be, your friend. Yeah right. The rate things were going now, they'd be lucky if they became close acquaintances. Maybe Spock Prime really hadn't known what he was talking about. Maybe it simply wasn't possible for him and Spock to be good friends in this reality. After all, that was a different time, with different circumstances and different histories. Which meant that it was probable that there would be different futures as well. So maybe it just wasn't meant to be in this time line, and Jim would just have to accept that.

But he couldn't. He was a firm believer in self-fulfilling prophesies and he couldn't help but feel like this was one of them. He just had to find a way to appeal to the half-Vulcan and logically convince him that friendship between them was the way to go. But that was the problem. Friendship wasn't always logical. In fact, with Jim, it usually wasn't. And at that moment, he simply had no logical arguments about how a friendship between Jim and Spock would be mutually beneficial.

Ugh. He was captain of the Enterprise, one of the youngest captain's ever on one of the most desired ships! He shouldn't have to worry about this kind of stuff. He was James T. Kirk for God's sake! People lined up to be his friend. They practically begged! Okay...maybe not, but in a perfect universe, that's how it should have been. It certainly would've made things easier.

Although, to be fair, he kind of owed his sudden rise in rank to Spock. If it hadn't been for his older self, it was quite possible that Jim would still be on Delta Vega and Earth would have been destroyed and Nero would probably still be roaming the galaxy leaving a trail of destruction behind him. No, he owed Spock a lot. Hell, the entire federation owed Spock.

A sudden, horrifying thought struck Jim. Had he ever apologized to Spock? Although it wasn't usually in his nature to apologize, he couldn't help but feel like there were some things that just required an apology out of common human decency. And what had transpired between them on the bridge definitely fell into that category. Damn. He had forgotten all about that after all the excitement of defeating Nero, being raised to captain status, and then going on several missions. But he needed to apologize. Maybe that was what was standing in between them and friendship.

Jim almost laughed at how stupid he could be. Of course! There had been a huge elephant in the room and he had completely missed it. Deep down, he knew that it would take more than just an apology to form a bond between them, but it was definitely a start, and seeing as he hadn't had any kind of starting point before now, he was going to call it progress. And there was no time like the present to make progress. Now if only he knew where Spock was...or he could call him.

But where was his comm unit? Oh, wait, he'd seen it when he was "straightening" the papers on his desk. Which meant it was under...no, maybe he'd thrown it in a drawer? No, oh there it was, on his bed. Jim briefly wondered how it had gotten there, but shook it off. He wasn't known for his organized cleaning efforts.

"Captain Kirk to Spock," he said and waited for a response. He wouldn't have been surprised if he hadn't gotten one. They were, after all, off duty. If he were Spock, he probably would have ignored it and continued doing whatever it is Vulcans do for fun.

"Spock here," came the monotone voice of his first officer moments later. Jim couldn't help but smile at how efficient he was. They really did make a pretty fantastic team. If only he could get Spock to see it.

"State your location," Jim said, hoping that Spock wouldn't think that this call was purely business related. He probably shouldn't have sounded so formal in addressing him.

"Observation deck."

Jim smiled again. That was the perfect place to have a conversation. It invited conversation without being too personal yet also offered the comfort of the stars, which, in a contradictory manner, also suggested personal conversations. "Okay, stay where you are," Jim said, already heading out the door to meet with his first officer. "I will be there in a moment."

He cut off the conversation before Spock could reply and Jim could practically see his eyebrow raised in his trademark surprised/confused expression. Despite the fact that their friendship wasn't exactly flourishing, Jim was proud that he was starting to be able to recognize the half-Vulcan's various emotions through his body language and generally expressive eyes. Jim frowned slightly, expressive eyes? Where had that come from? He shook it off and entered the lift that would take him to the observation deck.

It was in the lift that Jim realized that he really had no idea what he was going to say to Spock. He was a firm believer in letting bygones be bygones. So dredging through past wrongdoings was definitely going to be interesting and more difficult than he had originally foreseen. All too soon, the door slid open, leaving Jim with half-formed thoughts and nerves that he hadn't known existed until right then.

Just like Spock had said, Jim found him waiting on the observation deck. Not that Jim hadn't believed him, but he wouldn't have been surprised if he had left, finding the prospect of conversation dissatisfying. Then again, Spock didn't like disobeying orders either, even if it hadn't really been an order. It had probably sounded like one to him though.

He took in his first officer's appearance for a moment, just standing by the door. He was standing stiff and straight, his hands clenched behind his back and was still in his blue uniform. It was then that Jim realized that he had only ever seen Spock in his uniform before. Did Spock even own something for casual wear? Jim shook his head. He had to stop the stall tactics and just go apologize. Blunt, straightforward...to the point. Either way, he had to do something other than just stand there in a stupor. There was no doubt that Spock was aware of his presence, as his pointy ears were insanely perceptive to sound.

Just go apologize. Do it. I'm sorry. It's not that hard.

"Nice night we're having," Jim said instead, stepping forward to stand next to Spock. He had to resist the urge to facepalm. Nice night? Really?

Spock merely inclined his head to acknowledge the statement, still staring out the window. "You requested my presence, Captain?"

"Jim," he reminded him absently. One of these days Spock would call him by his first name, damn it. "I just wanted you to know that I didn't mean it." Great. Could he have been any more cryptic?

Spock turned to look at him, for once making things slightly easier. "I am uncertain as to what you are referring to," he said, making Jim internally groan. Scratch that, Spock never made things easier.

"I'm sorry," he tried again, deciding to just come straight out with the apology. "About your mom, your home, your people. It shouldn't have happened, and I shouldn't have said it. I didn't mean it. I know that you care and feel and shit." Well, he never claimed to be eloquent. Jim carefully brought his hand up to gently rest on Spock's shoulder. He stiffened under the touch, but it was the only way that Jim knew how to communicate his sincere regret. "I know how much you loved your mom...I'm sure she was a wonderful lady."

Spock shifted his dark, blank eyes away and subtly turned back to face the window again. Jim withdrew his hand quickly, taking the move for a "fuck off". He backed away slightly, ready to go back to his room to dwell over this newest failed attempt at friendship.

Spock's voice stopped him before he got more than two steps though. "May I ask a question of you, Captain?"

"Jim," he corrected, "And sure, anything."

Spock ignored him and instead asked, "Why?"

Jim was floored. Why? Why what? Why apologize? Why did he say it in the first place? Why was being captain so important to him that he would humiliate Spock and break through his defense mechanisms? All of a sudden he felt like he was thrust back into one of his philosophy classes at the academy. There had never an answer to the question 'why' in class and Jim had a feeling that there wasn't one now either.

Spock turned to look at him, his eyebrow raised in an expression that clearly said 'I'm waiting'.

"Because...I felt bad?" Jim hated how uncertain he sounded. Well, it wasn't his fault! That was a ridiculous question to begin with.

Spock gave him a look that he was pretty sure was equivalent to a Vulcan's exasperated smirk. "Why now?" he clarified.

Oh. Good question. 'Because I felt like it' was probably an inadequate answer to a Vulcan because there wasn't an ounce of logic behind it. Jim tore his gaze away from Spock's face and began picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of his uniform. He needed to stop running into things and catching his sleeve on sharp corners if he didn't want to have to learn how to patch up holes...wait!

"It's like when you have a small rip in a shirt," Jim exclaimed, excited for his brilliant analogy. Up went Spock's eyebrow in his trademark look of confusion, although Jim suspected that there was a hint of amusement in his eyes as well. "No, it makes sense! Okay, so you can leave the rip unattended, but it'll only get worse. But that doesn't mean that you fix it immediately, though because at first you ignore it and hope it'll go away or fix itself. But it doesn't, so you end up fixing it eventually before you let it get to an irreparable state!" Only after he began did he realize that this probably wouldn't apply to his Vulcan first. And it wasn't until he got to the end when he realized that it sounded a lot better in his head. Jim looked at Spock with a small smile on his face. "There was a hole between us and it wasn't going away." Jim shrugged, "I guess I just got tired of having to step around the hole to get to you."

Spock stared at him for a few moments, incomprehension dancing in his eyes. Well, he never claimed to be rational, either. However, a response - any response - would be more than welcome. An 'I forgive you' would be ideal, but the silence was so deafening that Jim was willing to accept a 'Fuck off you dirty bastard' as well.

Instead, Spock seemed to lose some of the tension in his shoulders and the corner of his mouth twitched so slightly that Jim thought that he might have imagined it. "That was an illogical argument, Captain-"

"Jim."

"But I think I understand the sentiment behind it and I appreciate it." He paused for a moment and then added a soft, "Thank you." Spock abruptly straightened again and looked Jim straight in the eye. Jim was mildly disappointed to see that his shields were back up at full force, but decided that it would just have to be his goal to get the emotion back to his eyes. "If that is all, please excuse me. I must retire for the evening."

Jim nodded. "Of course. We're bound to have another exciting, long day tomorrow." Spock didn't say anything, missing the joke behind his words. Tomorrow would be the same as today: an uneventful state of commuting. It would still be a few days before they arrived at their destination.

Spock turned on his heel to leave. "Goodnight, Spock," Jim called after him. Spock paused for a moment to turn around and nod in acknowledgment. Jim chuckled as the door slid shut behind his first officer. While he wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, he thought that it could probably be considered those baby steps that he was slowly getting accustomed to taking. The first sign of progress. Regardless, they seemed to be on the path to a real friendship. It would just take patience.

Jim shook his head slightly and then left the observation deck. What a shame that James T. Kirk wasn't a patient man.