My name is Haley James. And I'm ninety three years, seven months and three days old.

I think about it a lot. Those ninety some years. I think about it more than I need to. And as I sit tiredly in my armchair staring out at the window, I think about him. More than I ever wanted to. And as always, I am reminded of how life is full of beauty; amazing beauty that comes in the form of perfectly shaped blue eyes that have haunted me for nearly a century.

I closed my own eyes.

And I am lost in the memory of his.

IFIWFWINRIFNWINFOWNRFN

I am eighteen years old today. I am beautiful, they tell me. My copper hair hangs curly over my shoulder and my face is perfectly sculpted. I don't care about looks. I don't care about anything really. I have the arrogance of the youth; everybody loved me.

"Darling" Lydia James hugged me. "Happy birthday!"

I smiled at everyone present as they sang for me. They were amongst the richest, most successful people in the country. The women dripped with jewellery, the men with mistresses. My friends were all present and they hugged me warmly, their eyes reflecting their love for me.

Dinner commenced in the huge dining room of our mansion. I ate quietly watching the chandelier sparkle with the bright light reflecting of the cool glass. Conversation was stilted; I myself had no idea what to say to anybody. My parents were oozing charm as they flitted from table to table playing the part of the perfect host just like they played the part of the perfect family.

I waited until everyone was absorbed in their meal. Then I stood up.

"Where are you going, Haley?" Peyton asked me concerned.

I just smiled.

He was waiting for me outside the house, in the garden. He was hiding in the shadows so that even if someone from the upstairs window was to look up, they would never see him.

He entered into the narrow sliver of light when he saw me approach. I sucked in my breath at his perfect face. He arched an eyebrow and smirked at me.

"Happy birthday" Nathan acknowledged in his deep voice.

"Thank you" I said casually.

He jerked his head behind me. "Nice party."

I didn't know if he was being sarcastic or sincere. "I didn't ask for it" I defended.

He nodded. "Doesn't seem like you."

"My parents thought it was ideal given that I am legally an adult as of today."

"Are you now?" he asked, amused.

"Yes. I am my own keeper now" I said defensively as always when he made fun of me.

"So, if I were to ask you right now" he said carefully. "To come for a ride with me, you'd be able to decide for yourself?"

"A ride?"

"Horseback" he assured me.

"Now?" it was late.

"Right now."

"My parents would kill me."

"They would kill you if they knew we were friends."

I cringed at the 'friends' word he was so keen on using. Sure, we were friends. We'd been friends all my life ever since his mother came to work as a maid for my parents. He'd been the one to help me with my schoolwork and I'd in turn sneak out books for him to read. Friends; I hated that word.

"I don't know" I looked behind me just in case anyone was sneaking up on us.

"I thought you were your own keeper."

I scowled at him. "Lead the way, Scott."

He grinned, completely sure that I would not have been able to say 'no' to him. I hated his confidence that I would do anything for him. But he knew me well.

Getting the horses were easy; my parents owned a huge stable. We went riding on my grounds, towards the moors. Side saddle for me; I was wearing a dress. He helped me mount the horse but other than that, we were silent the whole way.

"Are you cold?" he finally asked.

"No."

"I have to tell you something, Haley."

Something about his voice made me shiver. I waited in anticipation.

"I'm leaving tomorrow."

"What?"

"I'm going off to school" he said as gently as he could.

"I...But....what?" I demanded again.

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I told you about this last week."

"You said maybe. You said maybe! There's a big difference!"

"I'm sorry" he said sincerely.

I was being a pain but I couldn't imagine not seeing him every day. In my mind was a perfect plan in which I would make myself indispensable to him. But there was no enough time for me to make him fall in love with me. I didn't even know how he felt about me. There was no time!

"For what? It's a good thing. Congratulations" I said quietly.

"I'm sorry for leaving you."

I nodded.

And just like that, I turned my horse around and rode home.

He didn't follow me.

OURHFUOHIGFIJOIPGFHIPRNHGFPINHFRPI

I am twenty three years old.

I am working as a volunteer nurse in a hospital in town. Daddy was angry that I was wasting my time like this but with the war, I could not do anything else but help. He knew I would eventually return back to his business but now, all I treated wounded soldiers by day and stayed alone in a flat nearby at night.

Peyton whistled next to me. "Gorgeous boy alert" she murmured.

I didn't look up from the chart I was holding. Sometimes I think she worked with me just to get close to all the men instead of really helping.

"He's staring right at you" she said.

I pretended not to hear her. She knew I didn't date. So much so that she asked me outright if there was something wrong with me. But I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell her that my heart had vanished five years ago on my eighteen birthday along with my beautiful bright eyed boy. His mother had already quit her job and there was no way for me to reach him. He hadn't bothered to look for me either though I was traceable.

It didn't hurt so much now. But I would never allow to feel that kind of pain again.

"Nice eyes" Peyton appreciated.

I finally looked up.

And remained motionless as my mouth dropped open.

He grinned and walked over to me, his arm in a sling. He stood in front of me, his perfect face beautiful to me and I never really truly appreciated it until now.

"Hello" he smirked.

I gaped at him. Peyton excused herself next to me. She must have known there was something going on with us.

"It's been a while" he was enjoying this.

I nodded wordlessly.

"You look good" his eyes burning into mine.

"You look perfect" I blurted out before I could think about it.

He laughed. "Not so much" he lifted his arm up. "I broke it."

"How long have you been here?"

"Since yesterday."

"You were injured in the war?"

"Yes. I'm a soldier. I plan on heading back to my base once I'm done here."

"What a coincidence seeing you again" I said calmly.

"Maybe" he smirked. "Maybe not."

As he gave me that same look, I was instantly reminded of how just the day before, I had cried myself to sleep over him. I was sudden furious at him.

"I should go" I said curtly.

He nodded and let me leave. For the second time.

I watched him all the time. He made no attempt to speak to me and I followed his lead. He was recovering well and soon he would be out of the hospital. I waited for that day where I would not have to run to the bathroom, tears pouring endlessly from my eyes at the sight of him.

How dare him! How could he; after all this time! How could he not care about me after all the years we were friends! How could he not feel this way?

I knew the exact day he would be discharged. They peeled of his cast and he signed off. I thought of what would once he returned to the war. What would happen if he died? What would I do? Would I even hear about it?

I saw him leave.

And I thought I would rather be the one to die.

I left the hospital.

"Hello again" a deep voice called out from the shadows. I jumped out of my skin.

"You idiot!" I hissed unable to control my pounding heart. "You scared the hell out of me!"

"My plan all along" he smirked.

"What do you want?" I said tiredly.

"I was wondering if I could buy you dinner."

"I don't eat."

"A drink then?"

"I'm not thirsty."

"Look, Haley. I'm trying here."

"Why now? Why not five years ago?"

He cocked an eyebrow. "Have dinner with me and you'll find out."

"I don't care enough to endure your company."

"I'm fighting for your freedom here. The least you could do is let me buy you a drink."

He was reminding me of his role in the war. "When are you leaving?"

"In two weeks."

I made an irritated sound. "One drink."

He knew I couldn't say no to him.

He took me to a bar down the road. It was filled with soldiers keen on partying the night away and willing girls. We sat at the bar, quietly as he ordered for us. I drank slowly not wanting to leave.

"So?"

"So" I echoed.

"I am sorry."

"For what? Leaving or coming back?"

"Whichever hurt you more."

"Coming back then."

"I should have called you."

"Yes."

"But I never planned to."

"Doesn't matter now" I shrugged.

"Doesn't it?"

"We can't really change anything."

"I'd like to" he said quietly.

"No, you don't."

"You don't know me as well as you used to."

"Maybe I know you better."

"Maybe" he smirked.

"I should go" I said standing up. He stood up as well and we walked out of the pub.

"Where do you live?"

"Corner of Ninety Third and Fifth."

He whistled. "Long walk."

"Yes" though I wasn't sure why he cared.

"Let's go then" he started walking.

"Wait, what?"

"You didn't think I was going to let you go alone, did you?" he asked.

I hesitated. "I'd rather go alone."

"Why?" he looked confused.

I didn't say anything. I just stomped past him. He grabbed my arm. "Why?" he asked again baffled.

I pulled my arm from his grip. "Five years, Nathan, is a very long time. A phone call, just one to let me know you're still alive wouldn't have taken a minute."

"I know that."

"Why didn't you call?" I demanded.

He shrugged. I walked off.

"Wait, come on Hales. Don't be like that" he said keeping up with me easily.

"I had a drink with you. Now just leave me alone!"

"I can't. I tried to but I admit defeat."

"Do you think this is funny?" I raged at him. "You were my best friend! How could you just leave me like that? Don't you have any idea how much it hurt when you left?"

"It would have hurt more if I stayed."

"Go to hell, Nathan."

His face softened. "I've been there. I've been there and came back. And I'd have to go again."

"Well, you'd fit in perfectly there" I tried not to cry at the thought of him in the war.

"Can I see you again?"

"No. It wouldn't be very good for me."

"I guess not" he dropped my arm.

I walked a few paces away. "Why won't you fight for me?" I shouted at him as I turned around.

He looked taken aback. "Fight for you?"

"Yes. You wouldn't even have to try hard. All it would have taken was one phone call! Would that have been so hard?"

"Yes."

"What?" I snapped.

"It would have been hard."

I made an annoyed sound. "Bye Nathan."

"Goodbye Haley."

He let me walk away. As soon as I was out of his sight, I started to run.

And run and run until I left him behind me.

I woke up the next day with a headache. I looked awful; I knew it. But I couldn't seem to make myself care.

I walked down the stairs from my flat and nearly tripped in my haste to get out of the lonely apartment.

Someone grabbed my arm and held me for support. "You okay?" Nathan asked me concerned.

I waited until I was stable. "Yes" I said gruffly.

He was here! Unbelievable! He was actually here!

"I bought you coffee" he handed me a bag. "And there's a bagel and a muffin in there for you."

"Just the coffee."

He looked a little put out but then he smirked. "You should get something to eat. You're too thin."

"And you're annoying. But I didn't have to say it, did I?"

"Why not? You should be honest with me. We are best friends" he laughed.

"I'm late for work."

"I'll walk you there."

I didn't say anything as he chattered on. He was in a good mood, whistling as he grabbed my hand when we crossed the streets. I didn't flinch but his warmth sped up my hand like a current. I tried to ignore him but he kept asking me questions about my life, my family, my work.

"So what do you do on off days?" he asked interestedly.

"I go home to see my parents."

"What else?"

I shrugged.

"Don't you have a social life, Hales?" I cringed at my pet name.

"Not so much."

"Why not?"

"I don't like crowds so much."

He laughed. "You haven't changed much, have you?"

"Neither have you. I was hoping you did."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you'd become a jerk. I wanted you to be" I explained calmly.

"Why?"

"Because it would have explained your lack of interest in me. It would have explained why you never bothered keeping in touch" I shrugged like I didn't care.

"You think I didn't keep in touch with you because I didn't care?" he asked in a strange voice.

I nodded.

He looked angry but he just frowned. "This is you" he stopped in front of the hospital.

I didn't want to say goodbye, especially now when he was mad at me. For what reason, I don't know. But still.... he could leave me so easily.

I hesitated then kissed his cheek. His face softened. "Take the food, Haley" he said firmly. "I don't want you passing out on your shift."

"Okay. I'll pass out right after then."

He didn't smile. He just looked at me. And after a while, he turned and walked away. My beautiful stranger.

I knew he was waiting for me at the end of the day again. But I was still surprised when I found him in the same place as yesterday.

"Hello stranger" I greeted as he walked towards me.

"Haley" he nodded.

"I'm not hungry in case you're offering dinner."

He scoffed. "You think I'm going to ask you again after the amount of times you protested last night?"

I blushed; I shouldn't have assumed.

He shook his head. "I'm taking you dancing instead" he grabbed my hand.

And for once he didn't let go.

We went dancing and then after we went for a long walk until it was past midnight and he had to carry me up the stairs to my flat. I was half asleep but I could still feel his strong arms beneath me. Holding me, carrying me. He opened my door and carried me into my bedroom. I tried to remember if the place was in a mess but weird thoughts were entering my mind. Like if the tooth fairy really existed and why the world didn't spin in the opposite direction?

"There you go" he whispered as he lowered me to my bed.

I mumbled thanks, too exhausted to answer. I didn't hear him leave but in my unconscious state, he could have easily left.

"Haley" his deep voice softer than usual.

I didn't answer; he wasn't calling my name. He was acknowledging my presence. That I was finally here after so many years.

I kept my eyes closed.

And he walked away.

It has been two weeks.

He was leaving tomorrow.

Today was ours. As the last two weeks had been. We were closer than ever, best friends once again. But he still hadn't told me why he never bothered to keep in touch. Just like I didn't ask.

I waited for him to say something to me. All through dinner, I watched him. Waiting.

"Would you do me a favour?" I asked quietly unable to stand the growing tension between us.

He looked up at me.

"Don't" I pleaded slowly. "Please. Don't get hurt."

He stared at me for a while. Then he nodded.

"Will you do me one then?" he twirled a strand of my hair in his finger. "Come to the train station tomorrow with me."

I agreed.

He held my hand as he walked me home. I wondered if it was a gesture of friendship to him. Then I wondered if I would ever see him again. Then I wondered why God had allowed me to love such a man.

It was raining of course the next day. I was glad; I could cry shamelessly this way and nobody would see.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to his chest. Trying to keep me warm. My teeth chattered.

He kissed the top of my forehead. I was surprised. I looked up at him to see him looking back at me.

"I love you" he whispered. "I've always loved you. I will always love you."

Somehow I knew it. Even if he had never shown it, I had always known it. His head tilted downwards and our lips met. And even if I had been dreaming of this moment for more than a decade, it surpassed my wildest imagination. His lips were fire, intense, loving on mine and we were created to fit each other. I loved him. I would always love him.

"Will I ever see you again?" I shouted as he stepped onto the train.

His eyes burned into mine.

But he didn't answer.

And this time, as I watched him leave me...as I watched the train speed past me....I had no answers myself.

OWRFUWFUBWEUORFBUEBWFUBFUBUW

Ninety three years old is somewhat of an achievement.

My children were loving, patient, successful. They had done well. I could hear my son downstairs talking to his wife. Even they were old. I laughed to myself, enjoying a private joke as I thought about how life works out the way we least expected it.

My great grandchildren ran into the room. The oldest were teenagers, the youngest were still small. My youngest climbed onto my lap and picked up the old photograph I had been staring at.

"Who is this?" she demanded.

I looked at the black and white picture. "That's me when I was a young bride" I smiled at the memory.

"You're beautiful, Grams."

"How old were you?" another one asked curiously.

Not old. Young. I was young. Too young some said.

"Grams?" my great grandson asked me. He looked at me with his trusting blue eyes. The colour of it amazed me. So blue, bright like the sky.

I didn't answer.

In my head, I was looking at another face.

OUBOFBEOUBEUBUEBUBERUBGFQEBFQIW

I am thirty years old today.

I am getting married.

My wedding day. Amazing that I am finally here. I'm proving everyone wrong; they said I would never have gotten married. I was too restless, too independent. They were wrong. I needed one person more than anyone ever before.

I looked at myself in the mirror, smiling at my white dress. It was strapless, cut tightly into my figure and a gorgeous veil covered my face. I lifted it up.

"Beautiful" Lydia clasped her hands.

"He's a lucky one" my aunt, Karen agreed.

"Very" my cousin, Brooke smiled. She was beautiful in her bridesmaid dress.

"Tell me again of the story of how you met" Peyton asked, fanning herself. She was very pregnant; we had to let out the dress for her just last week. We all sighed in relief when we managed to button her up.

I smiled. "It was a few years ago. I was twenty six and he was Daddy's business partner's son. He saw me in the conference room and claimed he fell for me the same second..." I trailed off at the thought of my handsome fiancée, Lucas waiting for me in the next room. Did all brides feel this flustered and unsure on their special day? Surely they do. I mean what made me different? Stupid question.

I knew what.

"Half an hour more darling" my mother looked at her watch.

I nodded. "I'm sorry but do you think I could have a few minutes alone?"

They left the room. I stared at my reflection, and someone else stared back at me.

"You're doing the right thing" I said to my unrecognizable face. Too much makeup had filled it.

Stupid. What on Earth had brought me here? Why am I even doing this?

I knew why.

Loneliness.

I was trying to fill the void in my heart that Nathan Scott had left.

He was dead, I was sure of that. I was sure that he died in the war and that was why he had never bothered to contact me. Never wrote except for the first few letters. The first few letters that I still kept on my bedside table and read every single night before I went to sleep. I had every line memorized but there was something about holding the papers he had touched that thrilled me.

And I had to move on.

Even if I could never let go.

I looked up at the sky each night and told the stars that I loved him.

And they believed me.

Someone knocked on my door. "Give me a minute" I called out.

I looked at my mirror and told myself I loved Lucas. And I did. He was everything everyone expected me to want. He was perfect. He was hopelessly in love with me.

I adjusted my dress and walked to the door.

I opened it.

Nathan Scott looked at me intensely with his bright blue eyes.

I gasped; he rushed into the room and closed the door behind him. In one move, he had pulled me to him and was kissing me fiercely on the mouth. Almost like he knew I thought he was dead. Almost like he was trying to prove to me that he was very much alive.

I couldn't help it. It had been years...So long and I still loved him.

I loved him.

Oh God, how I loved him.

I kissed him back, holding on to him tightly almost like he would disappear if I didn't.

Another knock broke us apart.

I swallowed. "Who's there?" my voice came out breathless.

"Brooke. Haley, we've got another fifteen minutes and I still have to do my hair. Let me in!" she said urgently.

I looked at Nathan. "I'll go" he whispered.

"No" I grabbed his arm. "No! Don't go."

"Come with me" he asked.

"Haley!" Brooke yelled.

"What?" I asked Nathan quietly.

"Come with me" he whispered, looking into my eyes for my love.

Brooke pounded on the door.

"I have to let her in" I told him.

"I'll be at the lake outside by the fence" he said. "If you're not there within an hour, I'll leave. And never bother you again" he promised.

Liar. He will. He'd always bother me even if he was out of sight.

"How will you go?" I asked as he walked to the other end of the room. He answered by pulling open the window and sticking half his body out.

"We're on the second story" I informed.

He laughed quietly and turned around to face me. "Have faith in me, Hales" and we weren't talking about his jumping down anymore.

I nodded as he disappeared from sight.

Brooke entered the room not a second too soon. I went to stand by the window, staring down at the front lawn of Lucas's house. I was looking for him but for once I knew he was really there.

Not dead.

Alive.

He was alive.

We had never been more than a few thousand miles apart; we had slept underneath the same stars. Alive.

"I just saw Lucas" Brooke informed. "And I have to say I think you're the lucky one" she whistled.

Lucas.....

Lucas Lucas Lucas.

My fiancée.

He had never left me before; had always been there. He loved me. He had never ever hurt me.

Lucas... Lucas.

I loved him. Maybe not the way I was supposed to. But I loved him.

Nathan.

I looked at Brooke and then at the front lawn.

"I have to go" I said abruptly.

Brooke looked surprised. "Where are you going?"

"I just need a minute; fresh air" I said as I grabbed a pair of slippers and hastily switched them with my white crystal shoes.

"You're going to ruin your dress" she said uncaringly.

Ruin your dress? My dress.... It always seemed like she was saying 'you're going to ruin your life'.

My life was not mine to ruin anymore.

I found him exactly where he said he would be. He didn't look surprise to see me; I always said yes to him after all.

We stood apart for a few minutes; his face was blank but the corners of his mouth lifted up slightly.

"How dare you!" I yelled. "How dare you come in here out of nowhere and ruin everything for me!" the words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them.

His eyes widened.

"Where were you? Where were you for so many years?" I screamed in rage. "I loved you; I loved you for so long! I waited every night for you. I thought you were dead but still I waited! If you had come even a day sooner, I would have said yes without a question. But you come on the exact day that I stopped waiting! How dare you!" I took a step forward and slapped him hard.

He didn't say anything as I stood breathing hard. My hair was all over the place and I looked a mess. I had to remember to brush it again just before I walked down the aisle.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly.

"You're sorry?" I shrieked.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

I fumed. "It doesn't change anything."

"No, it doesn't" he admitted.

No; he can't agree with me. He has to fight for me! He had to!

"I want to know why" I demanded. "Why didn't you ...want me anymore? Was I....a fling to you?"

He looked up at me for a long while. "No."

"Didn't I....matter?"

"You mattered the world to me."

"Liar" I snarled.

"Do you really want to know, Hales?" he said suddenly angry. "Why I never tried to find you? Do you really want to know after all this time? Would it change anything?"

I didn't know the answer so I kept quiet.

"You are too good for me."

I sucked in my breath, stared wordlessly at him.

"Your parents would never have allowed it; your family is rich, powerful, successful. And mine are poor servants. If I had been allowed to love you, you would have turned your back on them. And you would always hate me for taking away the world from you."

"Then why come back now?"

"I can't take it anymore. It's too hard for me to see you belong to someone else. Even if it's stupid, I can't let you marry him without knowing how I really feel about you."

I didn't say anything for a while. "You stupid inconsiderate jerk!" I raised my hand again but stopped just in time. "How dare you! How dare you put this on me! I loved you! I didn't care about anything but you!"

"Then change your mind" he urged. "Pick me! If I'm the one for you, then come with me!"

"I can't! You've never been there for me!"

"I'm here for you now" he said loudly.

"No!" I shouted. "He....Lucas....He is here for me! He will always be here for me! And you will always leave me!"

He narrowed his eyes. "Give me a chance."

"No."

"Haley..."

"No, Nathan. I gave you thirty years of my life. That was your chance."

"I promise..."

"I hate you, Nathan."

His face was calm like he hadn't heard me. I wondered if he believed me.

"I hate you! You ruined everything for me" I raised my hand and slapped him again. He took the blow without flinching. I hated that calm blank look on his face. I hated him!

I hit him again and again with more force each time. I wanted to make him bleed! Make him suffer for what he had done to me! "I hate you" I cried out each time I hit him.

His eyes were sad. He just let me punch him repeatedly holding his arms out so I got a better aim. I hit him until I was exhausted, crying and raging at the same time. I stopped and sagged forward. He held his arms out and held me against his hard chest.

"I love you" he said.

And then he let me leave him.

Brooke was annoyed when I walked in messy, my dress stained. She nearly had a heart attack. But within minutes, as everyone fussed over me, I was perfect again. Amazing; I didn't know how they did it. I was numb the whole time. Not paying any attention.

I walked slowly out of the room, my head held high.

"It's okay, love" Lydia whispered. "Everyone gets cold feet."

I looked at her and wondered if I could just die right then.

Lucas was handsome and proud, waiting for me. My father handed me away. I stared at Lucas's face, his eyes bright blue yet dim to me. His face was lovely but I would never be able to get used to it. Even if I woke up every morning staring at it, I would never be able to get used to it.

He lifted up my veil.

I love you he mouthed as he smiled at me.

I smiled back.

"Will you Lucas Roe take Haley James to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

I am six years old and Nathan is holding my hand as we race across the grounds, laughing as we hide from our mothers. He looks at me and winks because we are hiding a secret and no one else is here to spoil our moment.

"I do."

I am nine years old and I didn't get the birthday present I wanted. A doll house. I stormed out of the house and Nathan was waiting for me. He listens patiently with a smirk on his lips as he drags me to our spot. Waiting for me is the loveliest wooden dollhouse I had ever seen. I stare at him and he nudges me towards it. "Do you like it?" he asks. He built it for me. He's built me a dollhouse.

"Will you Haley James take Lucas Roe to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

I am fifteen years old and I am in love with Nathan Scott. He is so tall and handsome; all my friends are in love with him too. But I can see beyond that. His eyes hide an amazing man and when he takes the world seriously, it lies at his feet, waiting to be used. Despite his circumstances, he will be a great man. His name will be splashed out in newspapers and everyone will say that he is the "Great Scott" and I will smile because I knew him.

I look at Lucas. He is waiting for my answer. Everyone is waiting for my answer. Even I am waiting.

Lucas smiles lovingly at me. I can feel his hands on mine, holding me tight.

I am twenty years old and still I wait for Nathan. He had been gone for two years. I wonder why he has never called. A part of me always thought he was in love with me too. But I am naive. Nathan is a man. And still I remain a child.

I look at Lydia and Jimmy James, my parents. They are holding their breaths. They are the only ones in the room who look nervous. Do they know... Does anybody know that my heart belongs somewhere else?

I am twenty three years old and I walk every day to the post office. Waiting for my mail. Waiting for the one sentence on a piece of paper that has travelled thousands of miles to bring me a small degree of comfort. I love you, Haley. Because he did. Because he was mine. Because he would always be mine.

Someone opens the back of the church door. There is no sound but my head whips to the back of the church.

Nathan Scott doesn't say anything. He just stands in the shadows as he watches me leave him. I can't see his face but I knew exactly how it looks like. I'd seen it all my life.

If I just let go of Lucas's hands, if I just let go of everything....I could turn around.... I could take a step forward....and then another.... and run.... and pretty soon, I would be in his arms....

If I could just walk towards him, I would be with him.

I could be with him.

Peyton clears her throat behind me. I suddenly remember that she knows Nathan.

"Make your choice, girl" she whispered into my ear.

I look at Nathan.

I am thirty years old.... and I will always love you.

"Yes" I answer. "I do."