Chicken Band

Today wasn't any different than any other day. Nothing odd had happened—for the Host Club's standards of odd, of course—and everything was running quite smoothly.

Tamaki had, yet again, managed to captivate the heart of every girl who came within a five-foot radius. Except for one girl who unwittingly refused her feelings for the moronic second-year. Haruhi had managed to send him to his "corner of woe" only about two times that day. A new record. Of course, Mitsukuni and Takashi were their normal selves—downing cake after cake and watching carefully for anything that might cause even the smallest problem. Kyouya, as always, managed to keep the budget in check, and the few ladies that always designated him entertained. Quite admirable. And of course, the Hitachiins were… well, the Hitachiins. Miraculously though, they had managed to keep to themselves all day; mostly just keeping up small talk with each other. Though, their mannerisms and Hikaru's more-than-normal smugness did seem rather odd.

It was Haruhi who finally walked past during their break from the screaming fans, carrying a small tray of tea, and heard a small bit of their conversation. She stopped beside the loveseat the two were seated at and listened a little longer, despite her better judgment.

"Oh, come on, Kaoru. It wasn't that bad."

"Hikaru, if you ever use it again on me, I'll get a separate room and refuse to touch you in any way for one whole month."

"Don't you think that's a little unfair?"

A glare was shot at the older twin.

"It hurt."

"Uh, hey guys?" Haruhi finally interrupted, her curiosity growing too much for her tastes. Normally, she wouldn't bother with what these guys were talking about, but the earlier mention of something foreign to her mind got to her.

Two pairs of golden eyes quickly glanced at her, both looking rather bored and uninterested that their conversation had been interrupted. For some reason, Haruhi couldn't help but feel that Kaoru was relieved. For what? She really couldn't tell.

"Sorry to interrupt," she paused for a moment, both boys deciding to take a sip of the tea they had, still eyeing her carefully, "But I couldn't help but over hear, and… What's a 'cock ring'?"

Simultaneously, the two boys chocked on their drink.

One grew beet red, the other covered his mouth, trying not to laugh hysterically.

Haruhi just stared for a second, an eyebrow raised with a skeptical look.

With the silence that fallowed, the Hitachiins just stared at each other, trying to figure out exactly what they should do. The silent conversation—to them—could easily be read in their eyes.

What the hell do we say!?

How should I know? You're the one who brought it up, Kaoru.

Hikaru!

With that, Hikaru turned away, smirking all the while as he left his twin to deal with the slightly uncomfortable situation.

"So… What's a—"

"Haruhi!" Kaoru interrupted quite hastily, still red as ever and looking rather shocked and nervous, "Y-You know those bands they put on chickens' and other birds' feet?" His voice was horribly rushed, and Hikaru still couldn't seem to control the surges of laughter.

"Uh… Yeah?"

"That's a c— That's what it is." It was all too rushed for her tastes to believe it, but seeing their reactions and the younger twin's discomfort of the subject, she left it as that.

Right when she finally left, Hikaru broke out into hysterical laughter.

"Oh, my God…!" He heavily leaned against his twin, who was still trying to recover from the assault of blood to his face, "I-I can't believe—Nice save, Kaoru…!"

He was quickly shoved off, and punched in the arm.

"Oh, shut up, Hikaru! It was all I could think of!"

The next day held a similar fate…

"What's a 'rim job'?"

The youngest of the twins immediately stood up and rushed out, his face pure red and cursing under his breath.

Author's Notes:

'''OTL -has died-

Really...? Don't ask... I was bored... and I didn't know what else to do with my day... I'm deeply ashamed I wrote this...

Originally, it was going to be Hani how asked, but after some thought, Haruhi fit the bill better. She didn't even know what S&M was. o3o;;

I'll fix this up later... Maybe... To many one-liner paragraphs!! D: