Turn On Me

Chapter 7- I'm So Tired

You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks, I'm goin' insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got
For a little peace of mind

I'm So Tired by The Beatles

We all got out of the car as soon as we had arrived. Inuyasha and Eri went to the trunk to deal with the luggage while Ayume leaned against the passenger side door. I didn't have time to think before I was swept up and twirled around. "It really is you! Yash said you'd be coming, but I didn't quite believe him."

"Put me down!"I begged, laughing. "God, Kouga, you know how much I hate those!" As soon as my two feet hit the ground, I stepped back and looked at him. Kouga was an old friend of Inuyasha's; they played in a band together in college. We had gotten to know each other quite well during the time that Inuyasha and I dated. I hadn't realized just how much I missed him until now. He looked good. I sighed and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me just as tight. I was aware of Ayume's questioning gaze on me but I ignored it.

"How's my woman been?" He asked me. I smiled slightly at the nickname. He used to call me his woman because it would piss Inuyasha off.

"Not so great. But I've been getting by. How are you?" He smiled widely at me.

"Things are good. I mean, the bar's doing really well and the band is getting a nice following on the weekends. I honestly couldn't ask for anything more."

"Well I certainly could." My eyes darted quickly to the left where a short red headed woman was standing with her arms crossed over her chest, looking slightly annoyed. "In fact, I could ask for a husband that would introduce me to his friend." I stared, my eyes darting back and forth between the two of them.

"You got married?" I asked excitedly. Kouga nodded, bashfully.

"Yeah, a little over a year ago."

"Oh that's wonderful!" I hugged him again before turning to his wife.

"My name's Kagome. It's nice to meet you." She shook my hand.

"I'm Ayame. I've heard a lot about you. It's nice to put a face to the name." I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? Just what kind of lies have you been telling her, Kouga?" I asked with a smirk. He winked at me.

"Only the good kind, I assure you." I chuckled.

"Oi! Are you two done flirting? Because I, for one, would like to go inside." Inuyasha's gruff voice butted in. I blushed, slightly embarrassed.

"We weren't flirting," I mumbled, my eyes focused on my shoes.

"Whatever. Can we get inside?" Kouga frowned slightly before shrugging.

"Door's open dude." Ayame sighed at her husband's antics, rolling her eyes.

"I'll show them inside. You suck as a host." Her voice held immense amusement. She walked up to the door and opened it, welcoming the guests inside. Without another word, Inuyasha walked up the porch stairs and entered the building, Eri following closely behind him. Ayume mounted the stairs slowly, taking her time and loitering by the door, obviously interested in seeing what Kouga and I would say next. She waved Ayame off, letting her know that she'd be inside in a second. Kouga, his back to the door, missed all of this.

"He's an ass," Kouga stated, matter-of-factly. I shrugged.

"He has good reason." Kouga scoffed at that.

"He needs to get the hell over the past."

"Look," I said, my voice placating, "I really don't want to discuss this right now, on the street, where anyone could hear." I gave Ayume a pointed look over Kouga's shoulder. She blushed, rightfully embarrassed and hurried inside. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "We'll discuss it later, okay?" He sighed.

"If that's what you want. You want to get inside?" I nodded.

"That'd be nice. And on the way up, you can tell me how things have been with the band."

"Eh, there's not much to tell," he started, opening the door for me. "Inuyasha stuck around for a little while, but then left to do his own thing. That's fine. We all knew that he'd leave one day. He's serious about this stuff, where as it's just a hobby for us. Ayame came in a couple years ago and replaced him as our lead singer. I play the guitar. Ginta's still on bass and we added a new kid on keyboard. His name's Hojou. He's actually staying with Ayame and me for a bit. He and his ex just broke it off. Really messy; kicked him out. So he's crashing with us until he gets enough money to find a place of his own. Hakaku's still our glorified roadie, but we all know we couldn't do a show without him." I smiled, most of the names familiar to me from back when I was dating Inuyasha.

"So Ayame, besides being your wife and lead singer, what does she do?" Kouga laughed.

"Oh man, you're not gonna believe this. She's an accountant for a large company, actually." I laughed.

"You fell for a suit?" I asked him, an amused smile on my face. "Weren't you the one who told me, all those years ago, that you'd never in a million years date a corporate monkey? Told me you had to do your part to stick it to the man, hm?"

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure I was drunk when I said that, so it doesn't really count." We both laughed as we reached the door to the apartment.

"I've got to say, Kouga, it's good to see you. You make me glad that I was dragged out on this trip." Kouga didn't say anything at first, his face slightly troubled. He opened the door and let me in before speaking again.

"Let me show you to your room." I raised my eyebrows at his behavior. Not thirty seconds before we had been joking around, but now that we were inside, he was stiff. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Inuyasha sitting on the couch, guitar in hand, fiddling with the strings. With a sigh, I followed Kouga down the hall to the guest bedroom where I would be staying with Ayume and Eri. We didn't say another word to each other and after I put my stuff down, Kouga exited. I rolled my eyes after he left. Things were only just beginning to get awkward.

An hour or so later, I exited the room. I kept my head down, lost in thought; I wasn't watching where I was going. A second later, I lightly bumped into someone, jarring me out of my head. "Oh!" was all I could think of the mutter. The bashful boy in front of me smiled.

"It's fine. No harm done."

"I…I…I don't think we've met. I'm Kagome." I stuck out my hand to shake.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Hojou." I smiled at him as I took him in. He was slightly taller than me, but still rather short and thin. His dark brown hair hung shaggily over his face.

"So you're Kouga's new band member, huh?" He shrugged.

"Eh, I've been around about two years now, I wouldn't exactly say that I'm new." I nodded.

"True. But you're new to me. It's been about four years since I've seen Kouga and his band, and you definitely weren't around back then."

"I almost wish I was, then I'd know this pretty woman in front of me." I thought I was done with the whole schoolgirl blushing thing, when a boy compliments you, but apparently I'm not. My face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"That's nice of you to say." He shrugged.

"It's true. I'll see you around, Kagome. I gotta head out to work." And just like that, he took off down the hall, leaving me behind to stare at where he was a moment before. I laughed lightly, suddenly, a smile pulling itself into place on my face.

"So is there a particular reason I'm not allowed to see where I'm going?" I murmured, irritated, as I was being led along a path to somewhere, blindfolded. Inuyasha had called me earlier telling to be ready to go in an hour, no more details. I tried as hard as I could to get something out of him but he refused. He told me nothing else only that it was "a surprise, wench."Annoyed that he wouldn't tell me, but too curious to consider not going, I checked my makeup, put on a nicer shirt, as I had been wearing my ratty college sweatshirt, and put on a skirt. It was just starting to get warm enough for it. When he arrived he immediately produced a black blindfold and begrudgingly, I allowed him to cover my eyes. We had been walking a while now and I was getting tired of this.

"Keh, be patient. We're almost there." I frowned.

"You said that ten minutes ago." I pointed out.

"Jeez, woman, if I knew you were going to carry on like this, I wouldn't have bothered." I sighed.

"I get that you're trying to be cute and romantic and all that, but you know I hate surprises. Can't I just take the stupid blindfold off?" I begged. He grunted.

"I honestly don't know why I try. Go ahead. Do whatever the hell you want." I winced and sighed.

"Fine, I'll keep the damn thing on. But it better be worth it, Inuyasha! My thesis is due in two days and I've still got three pages to go. And then I've got to edit, because these last ten pages are crap! And I've got my last exam tomorrow, so if we could hurry this whole surprise, that I do not need, up, I'd appreciate it."

"We're here." We had stopped abruptly. "You can take the blindfold off now." I reached back to untie the not, but hesitated. Fear and anticipation filled me. What if I didn't want to see what the view was, unobstructed? What if I was perfectly happy being in the dark? What if I didn't want things to change? Deep down I knew that the minute I untied this blindfold, things were about to change. "Oi! I ain't got all day, wench. Besides, weren't you the one who was in a hurry?" Without another word, I pulled the knot undone and the blindfold fell down to the floor. It took a couple seconds for my eyes to adjust to the light, but the minute they did, I wished for the blindfold to be put back on.

"Oh no. No!" I cried, willing silently for this all to be some sort of mistake. We were in the library, on the balcony and somehow, all the tables below had been pushed together. No one was studying on them, although books were on them. The books were arranged on the tables, spelling out Marry Me? in big, recognizable letters. "Oh no." I turned, distressed to look at Inuyasha who was standing beside me. "What are you doing, you idiot?" I screeched. He rolled his eyes.

"I thought it was obvious," he bit out, frowning at me.

"But…why? What the hell are you thinking?" Thoughts were running through my head a mile a minute, too quickly for me to truly analyze what was going on.

"I'm thinking that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes!" I yelled, my voice frantic. "Yes, it's ridiculous and impulsive and it's moving too fast and we're both so young and I mean, I just…sometimes love isn't enough." He scoffed.

"Don't you get it? Love is everything! Yeah, it'll be tough. I know that. But there's nowhere else I'd rather be. God, why can't you just see what the rest of the world sees? Why can't you see what I see? Why don't you want to marry me? I want a legitimate reason, not this 'it's too fast' bullshit."

"I…I can't give you one!"

"Then marry me!"

"No!" He rolled his eyes.

"God, Kagome, why does everything have to be an argument with you!? You said it yourself, you can't think of an argument other than the fact that it'd be too hard. And that's not an excuse. When have you ever decided not to do something because it's too hard? Never! You're not like that. You persevere, even when you don't think you'll make it, because you have to try. You have to try, Kagome, because then we'll never know. And that's worse than failing."

"You're right," I whispered, tears filling my eyes. "You're always right. Okay then. Okay." He perked up instantly.

"Okay? Is that a yes?" I nodded before deciding that I needed to voice it. Saying it out loud made it final.

"Yes, I'll marry you." His lips crashed on mine, his hands grabbing mine, and the tears building in my eyes fell. And as he slipped the ring on my finger and I literally felt the weight of the decision I just made, I chose to believe I was crying from joy.

I stumbled into the kitchen early the next morning, craving a cup of coffee to wake me up. I had been tossing and turning the whole night, sleep evading my grasp. If I was going to even attempt to get through this day, I would need some caffeine in my system. Setting the coffee pot on, I had nothing to do but wait, so I moved into the living room to sit. To my surprise, it was already occupied. Inuyasha sat on the couch, strumming his guitar lightly; it finally registered in my tired brain that there was quiet music in the apartment. He didn't notice me, lost in his music, his head bent, eyes guarded, as he plucked the strings of his guitar, humming softly along. I slowly tried to back out of the room but, as usual, my plan failed. I walked right into the wall, making a huge 'thunk' and an "ow" escaped my lips. The music stopped and Inuyasha looked up at me, his eyes piercing me. I rubbed the spot on my forehead that had collided with the wall, a slight hiss exiting my lips.

"You okay?" He questioned. I was slightly surprised by his concern, considering the way things had been between us lately. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I don't think it'll bruise. Just another reason for why I shouldn't function in the morning without coffee." He shrugged.

"You never were a morning person." I giggled.

"That is true. God, do you remember that time that you tried to surprise me with breakfast in bed and I wound up punching you in the face, accidently?" He laughed at the memory, a big whooping laugh I never thought I'd hear again, let alone cause.

"Oh man. I had completely forgotten about that. Man, you were a right nightmare to wake up back in college." I smiled.

"I know right." Promptly I yawned. "Oh, I hope the coffee is ready soon. Takes too damn long to make the stuff."

"You okay?" He questioned me again.

"I'm fine. Just tired. Didn't sleep well. My brain wouldn't shut off last night. Too much on my mind, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. What was keeping you up this time, if you don't mind me asking?" I shot him a curious look, hesitating in my answer. His attitude, his behavior had done a complete 180 since I last spoke to him. I was skeptical about how long it would last before we were at each other's throats. If I let him know what really was keeping me up, how would he react? "You don't have to tell me."

"No it's okay," I wasn't sure what I was doing. Did I really want to tell him? The words were out of my mouth before I could analyze the situation another second. "I was thinking about us." Immediately, he soured and internally, I beat myself up. Stupid, stupid girl! What were you thinking.

"There is no us." His response was bitter, but a second later regret flashed across his face. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for." My eyebrows shot up. An apology? From Inuyasha?

"Who are you and what have you done with the Inuyasha I know?" I asked lightly, although, really, I wanted an answer. He shrugged.

"Nothing. It's still me. I've just…I've been thinking lately. About what you said the other night. You were right. And I'm trying to make an effort to be less of an ass about things. The past is the past. There's no reason we can't move forward, right?"

"Right." My response was quiet, unsure. He didn't seem to notice.

"So you were thinking about us?" I nodded.

"About when you proposed," I confirmed. His eyes darkened slightly, but his face remained impassive, expressionless, like he was unaffected by the news. It unsettled me. I never thought I would crave his irrational, angry reactions.

"What about it?" He asked me gruffly, his eyes looking at the wall directly behind me; he was avoiding looking me in the eye.

"Just…just about how complicated things were. I regret every day breaking it off with you; you were right. I was scared and after graduation, when I should have felt free, all I could feel was trapped, stretched in nine different directions. It was just too much. I couldn't handle it. There are many times that I think of what life would be like if I had stuck it out, if I had been a more courageous person, and that's what was keeping me up last night," I concluded at last, finally voicing thoughts that had been in my head for so long but that I could never tell anyone before. He didn't react at first, but I could see that he was processing the information that I had just handed to him. He opened his mouth to respond and a jolt of fear coursed through me as I awaited his response.

"I—"

"Inu!" Eri's voice cut him off. His mouth shut with a click and his head turned down the hallway. "Where'd you go?" She stumbled into the living room, dressed in an overly large t-shirt and her hair was slightly mussed up. She smiled immediately upon seeing Inuyasha. "There you are baby." She went over to him and pressed her lips to his and he returned the kiss whole heatedly. Feeling slightly awkward and out of place, I exited and went back into the kitchen, hoping that the coffee was finished brewing.

A/N: Sorry for no Thanksgiving update guys. My November was pretty much hell. Anyways, I'm now home from school for the next month, so my goal is to get out a couple more updates while I'm free from the chains of higher education. Be sure to leave a review on the way out! Thanks for reading.

Emily

NaP

ONE LAST QUICK NOTE: Over break, I'm going to be going through my stories and cleaning them out. A lot of them are quite old and I don't feel proud of them. Just thought I'd let you all know, because other than The Crane Wife (which has its own issues that need to be addressed), there will be no other notice.