Don't kill me. I lost these for a few years...I hate leaving things unfinished, sorry guys for making you wait so long.

Chapter 6: Blame it on the writing staff

~At lunch the next day with everyone except Itachi and Neji~

As he was munching on a sandwich, Naruto asked, "Hey, anyone find that Itachi and Neji were really quiet since yesterday."

Yawning, Sasuke replied, "They're always like that, dobe."

"Yeah, but I mean quieter than usual."

Deidara took a vicious bite of his food and shrugged, saying, "There must be a reason for that, I'm almost certain Naruto's crazy idea is right. You know? The one about them liking each other. Me 'n Sasori have come up with a way to test that out."

"You mean, your idea, I had nothing to do with it, I just got stuck with you as my partner in that class.

"Aww...but Sasori..." The blonde pouted, giving his boyfriend a look that he could never resist.

"Umm...How exactly are you going to do that? Stuff my brother and Neji into a closet together and turn on the heat?" the younger Uchiha asked.

"Ha! That's the best part. Though the stuffing them into a closet and turning on the heat is a good idea..."

"Deidara..." said Sasori warning in his voice.

"Okay, okay. Sasori and I have to do an assignment for our acting class. We wrote a little skit today that showed how we felt toward the controversial gay marriage issue...and we want you guys to be in it, 'Tachi and Neji too." He was met by three pairs of staring eyes of vibrant colors.

"But this little blonde here forgot a major problem, convincing you to act in it. I see all of you seem so enthusiastic."

"Oh come on you guys...I even got that creepy Kakuzu, you know, the one that lives on the floor below us, to help. It would be sad if he agreed and none of my so called friends want to help." This time, instead of pouting, Deidara stared unwavering at his friends.

"Okay, I'll help, and so will Sasu."

"Naruto...you can help him if you want to, you don't have to drag me into it. I need to read the script first." Smirking, the blonde whispered to his raven-haired boyfriend. His eyes widening, the younger Uchiha exclaimed, "You wouldn't dare." One look at the blonde told him that he very well would. "Okay...you win."

"Yay! Now the two of you are with us. Hidan?"

"Hmph, I'm glad I don't have someone that threatens me. I'll need to read the script."

"...Fine. Sasori...you have it...right?"

"What would you do without me? Yes, I have the script," the redhead replied, handing a few sheets of paper to the silver haired man. Sasuke and Naruto positioned themselves so they could read over Hidan's shoulders. "That's the one that has the names of people we planned to act the parts." As Hidan read the script, his eyes started to twitch...

~ON THE PAPERS~

Assignment: Write a script for a skit that contains humor but expresses your feelings on gay marriage.

Characters:

Hidan: JOHN THOMAS, the middle class citizen

Kakuzu: a politician

Sasuke: a homosexual male

Naruto: Sasuke's partner

Itachi: a therapist

Neji: MR. LAWSON, a lawyer

Setting: A well lit room with a table with four chairs in the center of the room and a sofa to the left side and a door to the right, a man is sitting on a chair facing the audience.

HIDAN: You know, people these days are being such drama queens over the littlest issues that are none of their f**king concern. So what if people of the same sex decide to get married! Deal with it people! Does it effect your daily lives in anyway? California, the Golden State, has even gone as far as to OUTLAW gay marriage with proposition 8. WHO F**KING CARES IF THEY GET MARRIED! Why create a expensive LAW just to OUTLAW it! He grows more and more irritated further into his little rant, occasionally slamming his fists onto the table.

KAKUZU: walks up to table and sits down on a chair to Hidan's left with a smile on his face. You see, my loyal constituent, the proposition had to be created to deny gay couples the rights of heterosexual couples including the paying their TAXES together. I must say, if all those creeps out there get married, the government will lose quite a bit of its income.

SASUKE: walks in holding hands with Naruto What are you saying, Mr. Politician. Do you mean that those tax dollars are worth more than living a normal life with my boyfriend?

KAKUZU: looks away disgusted, clears throat ...Yes. California is in a very deep debt now, we need all the money we can get.

NARUTO: Hmph, so why don't cha stop wasting money in wars and stuff. And you could also think about cutting off the "American made" products, like $80 coffee pots.

KAKUZU: shrug Heh, well they are SO much better than the ones made in China or Japan or some other place. Besides, we get free money from the Office of Budget Management for it.

SASUKE: Okay, seriously, you've got to be freaking kidding me. I'm not even allowed to visit my boyfriend if he is ever hospitalized and dying from something serious because of you freaking money. You've got money for $80 coffee pots from the OBM? Then get money to get out of this debt. You know what? Let's go Naru. Both storm out of room

KAKUZU: calls after them raising a clenched fist I'm not afraid of you side show freaks!

HIDAN: Who are you calling "side show freaks"? To think you politicians are these "oh-so-polite" gentlemen, so much better than the average citizen. You guys are no better than the rest of us. There is a knock on the door to the right, he walks up to answer it. Who is it? At least someone is polite these days. He says this with a disgusted looked at the politician as he opens the door.

ITACHI: from outside the door Good afternoon. I am the anger management therapist for which you arranged. Umm...may I come in?

HIDAN: Oh, I've nearly forgotten! Come right inside. Have a seat. He gestures toward a cushioned chair across from the politician You can ignore the "gentleman" sitting there.

KAKUZU: growls, then speaks with a "sugar sweet" smile Hello, sir, glad you are here. This man really needs anger management classes.

ITACHI: nods Good afternoon. To his client Now shall we begin?

HIDAN: Yes. Glances at the politician still sitting in his chair, smiling Aren't ya gonna leave...?

KAKUZU: No, you can continue with your class.

HIDAN: anger starting to get the best of him Ya think you can do 'nything just 'cause you're a f**king politician?

KAKUZU: Of course. I do have special privileges give this position. Straightens tie and looks smug

ITACHI: stops HIDAN from punching KAKUZU Calm down and take 10 deep breaths.

HIDAN: lowers fist and takes deep breaths I'm okay now thanks. I want my lawyers. Takes out cell phone and dials number. Hello, is Mr. Lawson available? This is John. Yes. Can you come to my place? There are certain issues I would like to discuss with you. Okay, see you.

KAKUZU: You know I studied law myself.

HIDAN: That's why I need to get my own lawyer.

KAKUZU: No use. I was top of my class.

HIDAN: Then your class must be filled with dumb asses. If you are so great, why didn't you become a Supreme Court justice instead of a politician with like 20 lawyers to keep you safe.

KAKUZU: Hmph. The Supreme Court isn't so great, you know.

HIDAN: You know what? That's the first sensible thing you've said since you've been here. The Supreme Court is a cowardly branch of our great government. It chooses it's f**king cases, very rarely does it choose a case that matters.

KAKUZU: Oh yeah? Like what? Like the cases dealing with fags?

ITACHI: Language.

KAKUZU: What are you? Five?to Hidan Anyway they have done more than you have ever done.

HIDAN: Thank you, the cases dealing with gay marriage is a prime example. The Supreme Court just evaded that issue, saying that the federal government did not have any jurisdiction over that issue. The least they could do is make the f**king Congress make some amendment about the jurisdiction. I think it falls under the "necessary and proper" clause of the Constitution. He is met with blinking stares What? I may not be a proper lawyer, but I've learn this.

KAKUZU: If you know that then you must know why I like butterflies. THEY DON'T TALK. Nor do they argue with me like some people. The doorbell rings.

HIDAN: Wow that was quick. Goes up to open door. Hey, Come right on in. Enter NEJI through door

NEJI: Good aftern- stares at Itachi, wide eyed Why are you here?

HIDAN: You guys...know each other?

NEJI: walks over and sits onto Itachi's lap Does this answer your question?

HIDAN: open-mouthed, shocked for a second You...are...together? This is awkward, my lawyer and my therapist are going out...

ITACHI: strokes Neji's back Actually...we were planning on getting married, but then we were told that it wasn't possible.

NEJI: Yes, the "Golden State". What a joke. It's like a horror flick here. We never know what to expect...just because we are two males who love each other.

KAKUZU: shocked the whole time, now sneers Pfft, if I were you, I would try to find someone else to be my lawyer and therapist. Hiring them just encourages people. He is met by two glares

NEJI: Hmph, Mr. Politician. I respect your opinion but you should keep it to yourself if you can't respect ours. As it is, our employers already pay us less than those who are heterosexual, and they do it legally. I don't think whether I like a man or woman affects my abilities in being a lawyer. However, that will be Mr. Thomas' decision. What do you say? Are you going to call for another lawyer and therapist?

HIDAN: I—You know what? Screw all this. Both of you are staying, but I want him points at Kakuzu OUT! Mr. Lawson, that is why I've called you here in the first place.

NEJI: Okay...under the rights you have under the Constitution, there is s right of private property...so unless you invited Mr. Politician in here yourself, you can have him arrested for trespassing.

KAKUZU: WHAT? You can't do that! SCREW THE MONEY, I HAVE...wait, let me try that again, SCREW YOUR RIGHTS, I HAVE MONEY! And I represent you since you are my constituent. As long as you're here in my state, you have to play by my rules

ITACHI: Listen mister, do you need a time out?

HIDAN: sniff Why would I invite that rude, two-faced scum in here? Wait...how did he get in in the first place?

~NORMAL~

"You've gotta be kidding me."

"Will you do it?" Deidara asked hopefully.

"If it means arguing with that creeper, I will."

"Good, now all we have to do is convince Itachi and Neji."

"And...how exactly is this gonna tell us if they like each other?" Sasuke the skeptic asked.

"Don't you see!"

"No I don't see."

Sighing, Sasori explained, "What he's trying to do is see what reactions Itachi and Neji will have if they are stuck together...physically." That received some snickers from the group of friends. "Okay maybe not together together, but if they are close...physically."

"Okay...like that will work," said the ever doubtful Sasuke.

"Hmm...if I put you in Naruto's lap, you'll start ravishing each other at once, they are bound to have some sort of reaction if they have feelings toward each other," said Deidara defending his plan.

"And if they don't have feelings?" challenged Sasuke.

"Then there won't be any reaction. Knowing the two of them for this long, unless they hate each other that much, they won't go berserk over something like this. Well...berserk in a mad way, I mean they'll be surprised to say the least."

"...Fine. Let's try it. I still think it won't work."

~later that day, around 4pm~

Itachi let himself into the apartment he shared with his six friends. Upon entering the living room, he found his five of them situating themselves around the plush brown sofa. He raised his eyebrows in surprise, rarely would everyone be together on weekdays, especially Monday. With his entry, all eyes were on him, except Sasuke who was just sitting there grumbling about something or other at the television. "Hn. What is it? I suppose you want something of me."

"Ingenious as always, Uchiha," drawled Hidan.

"Spill, what do you want."

Naruto, deciding to explain with barely contained excitement, said "We want you to agree to play a part in a skit Dei and Sasori wrote for an assignment."

"No."

"Come on, 'Tachi. You only have like..." Deidara paused, glancing over the sheets of paper.

"Six, he only has six lines," Sasori said before the blonde could count all the lines.

"Yes," Deidara nodded with a grateful smile to his boyfriend. "Compared to Hidan who speaks almost every two lines. You don't see him complaining. Please Ita, do this for us? Your best friends...and brother?"

"Excuse me, I didn't become part of this willingly," Sasuke said still not making eye contact with his older brother.

"Anyway, will you help us? The part was made for you! Just for you think of it."

"Calm down my Dei-Dei, that's going to make him afraid."

"...too late."

"Please? For us? For me? The guy who will become your brother in law once gay marriage is legalized." Naruto pleaded, but the last part made both the Uchiha brothers twitch. Taking this chance, Naru whispered something into his ravens ear, which, by the way, did not escape Itachi's sharp eyes.

Not surprsingly, Sasuke spoke. "Itachi...just do it."

"Naruto, you know, threatening my brother does help your case. But I will consider this."

"Just say yes, Itachi. This is the last big project for this semester, it makes or breaks our grade," the redhead said through grounded teeth. "You know I hate begging."

"You know what? That's actually the first time I've heard you beg at all," Hidan put in, his attention being drawn away from the television once again. "

"I'm never going to get a peace of mind if I don't agree, am I? Okay, I'll do it." A cheer of yeses followed his agreement. "...Now can I see what exactly I have to do?" The cheer immediately stopped and was replaced by nervous laughter.

Handing Itachi the script, Deidara said "You can't go back on your word you know?

Twitching a bit, Itachi mumbled "I won't...but what have I gotten myself into?" before reading the script...His whole body started to twitch as he growled, "What on earth are all of you thinking?"

Laughing, Hidan sneered, "Don't look at us, blame it on the writing staff."

"Nothing, we just had to complete the project," Deidara said innocently.

"...Does Neji know of this?" More nervous chuckling followed this question.

"Umm...not yet...exactly..." Dei admitted wincing. "But he will! Soon, very soon," he added.

To be continued and finished...after I reread what I wrote before.