Title: Memories of Zero
Author: Teno Hikari
Fandom: Code Geass
Legal Disclaimer: Life isn't fair and I don't own Code Geass
Summary: What if Lelouch saw his subordinates as precious people rather than faceless pieces on his chess board? A collection of memories centered on the family ties between Lelouch and the Order of the Black Knights.
Warning: Unbetad, woe. Crack-ish
Timeline: R2 set somewhere in the Chinese Federation Arc
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Memory 019: Dangerous Addictions
50 Boxes of Kabaya Ichigo Shokara… 50 Boxes of Strawberry Colon… 50 Bags of Hot and Spicy Shrimp Chimps… 40 Bags of Lentil Pea Chips… 20…
Lelouch immediately stopped reading over the list then stared up over the numerous pages to see Kallen with the rest of his elite Zero Squad assembled anxiously between him and the Shinkiro. He knew it was strange for them to see him off all at once; he didn't even tell them he was returning to Area 11. Yet now he knew the reason why his ace pilot had been tailing him all morning before she had all but shoved this list directly under his nose.
"What is this?" the unmasked Zero finally asked.
While the others in the room shuffled their feet and averted eye contact, Kallen gave him the looked that inquired how he could be a total moron despite being a brilliant strategist at the same time. "It's a shopping list for snacks, Supreme Commander Obvious."
"I figured that much, Q-1," he snapped before waving the rolled up paper in his hand as if he were swatting an annoying fly buzzing around him, "but why are you giving it to me?"
She continued to give him the look. "So that you can go out and buy all that stuff for us."
Lelouch stared back down at the list, then to group of soldiers, and then back to the list again. "You're joking."
Zero's elite guard stared at him with straight faces that looked very similar to his current expression. They were not joking. They were mocking. They were mocking him.
"You have heard of the majestic wonder called 'the internet' haven't you?" he all but snapped while backhanding the air before him, "Surely you can buy all this stuff online."
Kallen shrugged. "We've tried, but for some crazy reason the Britannians won't let vendors ship anything to Horai Island because it's considered a terrorist zone. Even if they did deliver, the stuff would probably melt and/or explode once they arrived."
Okay, that made sense to Lelouch, however… "Why do I have to go get them?"
This time it is not the Guren pilot who responds. The other black clad soldiers stare at one of the older, veteran pilots who happened to draw the short straw prior to this confrontation. Kinoshita sighed, bit the metaphorical bullet and stepped forward.
"Even though you are public enemy number one, sir," the Commander spoke up, "your actual face isn't on a wanted 'dead or alive' poster."
Many of the members hesitantly nodded in agreement and the officer moved to step back and blend into the crowd of people. Kallen smirked back at her former classmate, knowing he couldn't argue with the truth. They had him and Zero would not back down on this request. They were his elite guard who were willing to kill and die for him; so the least Lelouch could due was go grocery shopping.
The Enemy of the Empire only blinked and looked back down at the list again. The several minutes of silence were slowly making the group of subordinates uncomfortable. Some were about to cry out 'April fools!' in the middle of May, when their leader finally sighed in defeat.
"Fine," he agreed. Before they could cheer, however, his hand pointed at them… or at Kallen who was less intimidated than the others who hid behind her. "You're helping me with this, Captain."
The red head shook her head, "no can do. I'm on a wanted terrorist list myself and can't be seen in public."
"I've see you in public!" And so did a lot of perverted Britannian noble men at Babel Tower; however, Lelouch wasn't suicidal enough to bring that up. She folded her arms across her chest and shrugged.
"Well pick someone else."
Suddenly a small pale hand shot up from within the crowd of many black shoulders.
"Oh! Oh!" an all too familiar voice called out. "Me! Me! Zero, pick me!"
"Rolo? What are you doing… gah!" Lelouch broke out into a surprised yelp when a pair of arms quickly latched themselves around his shoulders in an immobilizing embrace. He winced and looked down at the top of a mousy brown head before large adoring violet eyes stare back at him.
Kallen blinked as she watched her leader unsuccessfully tried to pry his adopted little brother off him; which of course, proved to be impossible with the older boy's lack of physical strength. Normally in these situations she would pull Rolo away or hand Lelouch a crowbar. Instead she nodded for her squad to help lift and carry Zero and his Rolo-restraining-suit over into the Shinkiro.
**********
Whether it is reconnaissance inside the Tokyo Settlement or going into battle with the Vincent; Rolo was always happy whenever he went out on missions with Lelouch. Never mind that his adopted sibling was fuming away in the side car of Rival's bike as his search for the items they were looking for was as fruitless as fruit on the long snack list. They could not find a decent supplier on the web, and spent almost the entire day inside the Tokyo Settlement searching; only to come up with over-priced imitations and some suspicious Britannian vendors.
"Dammit!" Lelouch swear as he abruptly hung up his cell phone. "At this rate I probably have more luck finding the Geass Directorate before I find authentic Glico Almond Crushed Pocky … and whatever the hell Crème Collon is; and less than five pounds per box! We're in Japan for crying out loud…"
"Actually, brother, it's still called Area 11." Rolo ducked his head when Lelouch shot him a cold glare. "Errr… so what exactly does Pocky look like?"
The older Britannian leaned back in his seat and opened his cell phone once more to pull up a picture he downloaded off the internet. "They're thin biscuit sticks covered in chocolate… see…"
Rolo risked a glance as he sped along the freeway and a light bulb went off in his head. "I've seen Shirley eat those; almost every day in fact."
"Are you sure, Rolo?"
"Positive! She tries to smuggle out the Japanese box wrappers with her…" the assassin quickly trailed off as his older brother shot him a questioning glance. "Err… not that I was looking through her trash for indications that she remembered what happened last year."
Lelouch scrutinized him for another long second before shrugging and called Shirley. She was hesitant to tell him her source at first. Yet after being sworn into secrecy – where he had to recite an oath about swallowing a thousand needles – she finally revealed where to buy the 'good stuff'.
"A ghetto?!" Rolo squeaked as they pulled out of the freeway and headed for the last remaining ghettos that the Britannians haven't bulldozed over. "She goes all the way out there for chocolate?!"
Lelouch only sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. "People have dangerous addictions it seems. Let's just get this over and done with. I'm getting tired."
**********
"Master Zero, as our most honored customer, we look forward to do business with you again."
The masked revolutionary, Zero, accompanied by the shortest Black Knight of the Order; watched as the dealers headed off and left with them, a large truck – another purchase that to be made to haul their precious cargo (and Rivalz's bike) – before sighing in relief. The deal had taken quite awhile and it was already dark out and Viletta was expecting them.
However, it wasn't just the Ashford gym mistress who would be on the look out; the Knight Police usually patrolled the area for suspicious activity. Lelouch wasn't worried at first, planning on using his Geass to let them pass… until he saw that they were wearing protective eye wear. It also didn't take them long for a helicopter to spotlight their vehicle.
"Um…big brother?" Rolo asked nervously behind the wheel as several armed police officers aimed their weapons at them. "The windshield is tinted… do you think they can see us?"
"ZERO!"
Lelouch nodded slightly and started sending a text message to Viletta. "Yes, Rolo, I assume they can. Get ready to get us out of here."
"ZERO!" boomed the voice coming from the officer holding a megaphone. "You were supposed to be in exile, come out with your hands up or we will open fire!"
He rolled down the window to stick his out his hand, holding a pocky stick. "Good evening, officers. I was feeling nostalgic and was in the mood for trick or treating. Care to sample?"
"Stop acting like some damn school boy! This is your final warning!"
Zero drew his arm back inside – when a sniper hit the rear view mirror - and rolled up the window, once he got confirmation message back from a very annoyed double agent, he made a short nod to Rolo. The young assassin clenched his teeth and underneath the black visor he wears; his Geass flared to life. Time had frozen for all except the user who quickly slammed on the gas and sent their truck speeding forward as the helicopter – with it's pilot held hostage by time – went crashing down behind them; unleashing a fiery blaze that engulfed those who were unfortunate to be in the blast radius.
Rolo gasped, tossing aside the visor as he released his Geass and was now heading back on the freeway. Zero settled back against his seat, content to know that Viletta had hacked into the Knight Police's mainframe to cover their tracks. All they needed to do now was sit and wait; though he sure was hungry. Leouch removed his mask to examine the chocolate covered stick in his gloved hand. He stared at it critically for another couple of seconds before taking a bite.
"Hmmm…" he murmured thoughtfully while his partner in crime was still panting at the wheel. "Not bad."
**********
20 Bags of Roasted Hot Green Wasabi Peas… 20 Bags of Squid Kizami… 20 Bags of Melon Bread… 20 Boxes of Kiku Mochi… 20 Boxes of Chofu Manju…
"I can't believe I ate all that strawberry Pocky. These snacks are really addicting!" Lelouch exclaimed as they sat in the back of the truck surrounded by large boxes filled with snack foods. The poor assassin was doubled-over clutching his stomach from having eaten one too many fruit flavored gummies.
"Brother… you should probably stop…" the younger teen groaned.
"Dammit! Much… much… much… why can't I… much… much… stop eating them!" Lelouch snarled as he shoved another empty box of Men's Pocky into garbage bag filled with various candy wrappers. "Rolo! Get Villetta on the phone. We need to stow all this junk food away in the OSI facility and ship it to Horai Island… and … hand me another box of those strawberry filled panda bears!"
Rolo sighed with a weary "yes, big brother" and watched as Lelouch devoured a small pouch of cookies with bear prints. He needed to check and see if crack is on the list of ingredients. Why, oh why couldn't the Zero squad just be drug addicts like a lot of Elevens were?
"Call the dealers tomorrow… munch… munch… we need to… munch… get more…"
"What?!"
Seriously, Refrain would have been cheaper.
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Author's Note:
Well sorry for the long delay; this one-shot didn't want to get written until the month of Halloween I guess. You can blame Lelouch for wanting to use "Trick or Treat" on Britannan authority.
Also, if you haven't figured out by now – these memories are out of timeline order. Sorry for any confusion, please refer to my timeline notes below the warning.