A/N: Ooh, oops. I don't do these a lot. Author's Notes, I mean. I just wanted to prattle a little. ANYWAY. This story is going to go slow. I'll TRY to have at least one update per month until summer comes again, but you know the deal. School = not that much free time.

This story is rated M for EXCESSIVE cursing, sexual themes, sexual instances in later chapters, the smothering sexiness that is Hidan, and also other stuff.

I can tell you right now that this chapter will be short, because I'm just now finishing it up with like 45 minutes left until I have to be in bed. I want to get some sleep before the first day of school.

Disclaimer: "All I had was me and my hoe." –Tom Robinson, To Kill A Mockingbird. I DON'T own Naruto, Hidan, Kakuzu, the Akatsuki, To Kill a Mockingbird, or a plasma gun. I do own the yaoi in this story, but I don't make money from it. Sadly.

Have fun with your reading,

Christie

Walking into the living room, Hidan plopped down on the couch next to a mass of blonde hair. The couch was surprisingly comfortable. Hidan expected everything in the Akatsuki base to be dingy and cheap, considering Kakuzu was in charge of finances. He shot a grin at the blonde boy next to him. "Hey," he said.

Deidara smiled back at him. "Hey, hm," he replied. Hidan had been in the Akatsuki for three weeks now. Deidara was the closest thing he had to a friend in the organization. Deidara was spunky and nice, and he was funny as well. He was spontaneous and quick, and he always had something to say, but he was a great listener, too. Hidan could vent and rant for hours and Deidara wouldn't say a thing unless necessary.

Hidan sighed, stretching out across the couch, forcing Deidara to frown and complain as his space was invaded. "Hidan! Stop that, you jerk, I was here first!" He whined a bit, then Hidan cocked an eyebrow at him and the blonde rolled his eyes. Hidan smirked, uttered a "no you weren't," and continued to poke and prod at Deidara with his feet, wanting to make use of the entire sofa. Deidara slapped at Hidan's bare feet, saying in an annoyed tone, "I was here first, you meanie. Stop trying to get me off the couch!"

"You're such a pain, blondie. Territory. I marked this couch before you got here."

"I've been in Akatsuki longer than you!"

"I'm taller."

"I'm prettier!"

"Are not."

"Oh, yes I am, you jerk...."

"Take it back." Hidan's eyes were glaring into the single visible sky blue orb. He was quite serious, and his tone said so. He knew it wasn't true, and so did Deidara. Of course, Deidara was extremely attractive in his own way, but Hidan was sculpted perfection. Deidara's feminine appearance and demure face shape made him seem quite beautiful in a youthful, womanly way. Hidan was masculine and strong, his form toned and balanced. His slightly lanky shape was only good for his obvious strength, making his muscles and form look even better. He was perfection. He was a follower of Jashin. Not that Jashin made any difference, but he was damn hot and he knew it.

Deidara paused. He knew that Hidan's ego was not only incredibly large but also very sensitive to comments about his physical appearance. He knew he was sexy, but he hated when people said he wasn't. It was a Hidan thing. He sighed finally and mumbled loud enough for the albino to hear, "Okay, I'm sorry Hidan..."

Hidan nodded once. There was quiet then. Not an awkward silence, exactly, because the awkwardness in the air wasn't enough to constitute an awkward silence. It was more of a pregnant pause. He then sighed, forcing a laugh. "Stupid jackass. Nobody's prettier than I am."

"Shut up, you egotistical freak, yeah." Deidara rolled his eyes. He was well aware that Hidan's self-esteem could smother him and gnaw his arms off. But as the albino's friend, he had certain privileges, such as arguing with the priest and not ending up dismembered and being sacrificed to Jashin. He and the taller man got along quite well, and they could bicker without getting serious or harmfully violent. They were a force to be reckoned with.

"Mmm, I love hearing that," Hidan said, feigning sexual attraction. He panted and cried, "Ah, yeah! Say it again, Deidara! Nggh!"

Deidara gagged, laughing. "Oh, gross. That's nasty, Hidan in bed. Can someone say FUGLY?!" He smirked over at the albino.

"Oh, wait, did you say 'fugly' ? You must mean DELISH." Hidan flashed a sneer at the blonde, knowing full well he'd won this round.

"Oh, shut up and bother Kakuzu." Deidara playfully pushed Hidan away from him on the couch.

"Oh, I'd love to piss that motherfucker off, but he's not nearly as touchy as he was in the beginning. I mean, ever since my third day, he's kind of indifferent. No matter what I say or do, he's all calm and shit. Not very fucking entertaining. Damn heathen." Hidan grumbled and picked at a scab on his wrist.

"That sucks. Sasori Danna just locks me out of the room until curfew."

"Curfew?" Hidan stared at Deidara as though he'd grown an extra limb. "What the fucking hell are you chittering on about?"

"Oh, um... yeah.... Sasori Danna gave me a curfew. It's so stupid, seeing as I'm always in the base unless we're on missions, which we're on together. It's stupid. It's more of a 'stay out of the room until now, but if you're not here now you sleep in the hall' kind of thing. Sasori's harsh," Deidara muttered embarrassedly.

Hidan sighed. "He's just an antisocial freak." Getting up from the couch, Hidan stretched and rubbed his left shoulder with his right hand. "Nnnn, sore." He nodded to Deidara. "I'm off. Time to try and delve into deep shit with Mr. Kakuzu. See you later, hot stuff." He tossed the TV remote to Deidara and winked. "Tape me something good, kay?"

Deidara just rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue and waving without looking back at Hidan. The albino strolled back to his and Kakuzu's room, thinking of ways to piss off his partner. Several variations of his ever-so-charming religious ceremonies that he knew got on Kakuzu's nerves came to mind, but after pondering those for a moment, Hidan decided not to utilize his religion in this instance. For one, that would be sinful, even though Jashin would enjoy his rites being used to torment—Hidan simply did not want to use his faith. Also, Hidan performed these rituals daily. What was the fun in just going over old stuff? Hidan wanted to be original and painfully irritating this time.

Upon reaching his room, Hidan had rested on one plan. His face was covered from a smug, mischievous grin. Reaching for the doorknob, he retained a manic giggle of pure naughtiness as he took a deep breath, sobered his expression, and said quietly to himself, "Rock and roll, Hidan."

Slamming the door open with his foot, Hidan sang the lyrics to the remake of "Video Killed The Radio Star" by Amber Pacific quite loudly. "I heard you on the wireless back in '52, lying awake intent on tuning in on you...."

Kakuzu was, as always, sitting at his desk, a look of frustration painted across his stitched face, which was uncovered by his usual mask. He cured this by hastily pulling up his mask to prevent Hidan from seeing his mess of a face. The kid was damn gorgeous, even though Kakuzu hated his guts, and Kakuzu wasn't about to give him another reason to annoy him on a silver platter.

Hidan walked over to his dark-haired partner and said obnoxiously, "Sing with me, Kakuzu! Video killed the radio star, video killed the radio star...." He smirked evilly, knowing that Kakuzu absolutely hated almost all music and wouldn't tell Hidan what music he DID like.

Kakuzu frowned, pinching the bridge of his nose in aggravation. "Hidan, just shut up or leave me alone." He knew Hidan would gladly die before listening to any request of his, but it was no problem to try it out first. Even if it was futile, he might as well try.

"But then I would never have any fun, Kakuzu!" Hidan pouted, pushing back laughter at Kakuzu's grumpiness.

"Hidan, just get the fuck out of this room. I know all you want to do here is piss me off, so just leave now. Or stop that retched singing." Kakuzu turned to glare at his albino partner. Was this boy's goal in life to make him incredibly irritated to the point of murderous intent?

"But Kakuzu, I don't want to leave, and I'll get bored if I shut up. And I don't think either of us want me bored, do we?" He smirked, knowing that Kakuzu was thinking what he was thinking.

Kakuzu hesitated. Hidan couldn't get bored. That was a no-no. Bad things, very bad things, occurred when that kid was bored. What happened when Hidan was bored; he got annoying. And the last thing Kakuzu needed was a young man by the name of Hidan annoying the shit out of him. He wanted to permanently silence that rambunctious boy. "Hn," he huffed, not wanting to satiate the albino by telling him that he didn't want him bored.

"Let's talk, yeah? Come onnnn." Hidan smiled up at Kakuzu, knowing he had the upper hand, as he sat down on his bed, looking up at Kakuzu.

Kakuzu looked over at Hidan and he had to bite down on his tongue. The albino was looking up at him from under his eyelashes, leaning back on his arms, and Kakuzu would be a damn liar if he said that Hidan was anything less than drop-dead hot. Now, Kakuzu wasn't one to be picky about gender, and thank god for that, since he was way below par in the looks department. So he couldn't help but feel physical attraction towards Hidan, but honestly, who didn't? Anyway, Hidan was a right prick, so Kakuzu's attraction came to a dead halt at the line between the looks and personality sections. Hidan was a nice piece of ass, but he was not only a rude bastard, he was a fanatic psycho, a masochist, a true asshole, and annoying, too.

Snapping out of his daze, Kakuzu sighed, placing his right thumb and index finger above his eyebrows. "Talk abut what?"

"You. Me. People. Religion. Missions. I don't really give a shit," Hidan said.

"Pfft, no."

"Why the fuck not?"

"You're an asshole, that's why. Why should I waste time telling you abut myself?"

"It's what partners do, I don't know," Hidan said. He had really wanted to talk, he didn't want to tease Kakuzu or anything. The man was a total mystery to him, what the fuck was wrong with wanting to know more?

"You're not my partner. I don't work with partners. You're an assistant, a weapon. An asset."

Hidan wasn't going to lie. Those words stung. He frowned and threw himself up from the bed. "Fine, prat. Be that fucking way, fucking hell. What the fuck are you going at, anyway? Who the fuck told you that you can talk to people like that? You're a right wanker. Jashin, and I actually tried to fucking start conversation with you, too." He headed for the door, and hesitated as he opened it. "You know, I don't think you're a fucking asset." And with that, he slammed the door behind him, tired of trying to talk to the stitched ninja in the room he left behind.

Kakuzu sighed and went back to his work, the words sinking in, but not really affecting him. He didn't care anyway. No shit. "Asshole," he murmured, although he knew he was the one to blame.