Retrospective

Looking Back, They Realize… There is plenty to look forward to. They are no longer children waiting for the day they feel good, they are young people waiting for a chance to make others happy.

It has been 13 years since Megan had been left at her grandparent's house. She is 16 today.

Megan is a 16 year old girl. She has her father's brown eyes, but she looks more like her mother. She looks exactly like Heather, but she is a bit shorter. Her hair is also a bit more feathery, whilst Heather's was more silky. Her face is also slightly rounder. However, her face still retains her mother's Asian features. Whilst Heather was 5'6'', Megan is 5'4''.

Megan likes to talk, a lot. She is outgoing and independent. She hates having to ask others for help, and rarely does. She likes outdoor activities. She detests having to dress up, preferring jeans and shirts over any other form of dress. She also dislikes make up. She prefers to keep a natural look. It can be argued, however, that Megan hardly needs make up.

"Bye grandma, I'm going out!"-she says to Susan, her grandmother. While Clyde worked Susan stayed at home.

"Megan, sweetie! Be back by 8:00. That's when dinner will be ready!"- said Susan. She can hear a rather distant 'Ok!'. She is relieved. She sighs contently. Megan is a good girl.

Megan walked over to a hill. She lives in a small town. She is surprised to see her long time crush, Jefferson. Jefferson and Megan are good friends, but Megan's had a crush on the guy since she met him when she was a Freshman in High School.

Jefferson is tall, blonde and very muscular. In fact, he resembles his father, Geoff, physically. However, that is the only field in which you will find any resemblance. Jefferson is a dead serious guy, who laughs rarely, and never parties. His eyes are focused, his face always keeps a neutral expression. He likes to dress a bit more conservatively. He hates showing off his chest, always wears long pants, and keeps his hair neatly cut. Also, he does not wear a cowboy hat.

"Jefferson!!"-cries out Megan. She is always excited to see him. Jefferson sees Megan, and smiles. It's rare to see him like that.

"Hello Megan. It's been a while,"-he says.

"Just a few weeks. So, uh… you start college at fall, right?"-she is a bit nervous now.

"Yeah. I finally have the money to go,"-he says. He is looking at the town.

"Ummm, is the college you picked very far?"-she asks.

"No, I chose one close to home. This way, if mom needs me I can go to her rather quickly,"-he says.

"How, uh, how far is it?"-she asks. She has her hands behind her back, and she is shyly looking away. A rare thing for her to do, save for when Jefferson is involved.

"It's a four hour drive from here to there. I'll be staying there the weekdays, but on weekends I'm planning on coming home,"-he says. Megan looks away, feeling almost sad.

It was a sunny day. The sky was a deep blue. The clouds were puffy and white. The Sun shone brightly. It was a beautiful summer afternoon.

Megan seemed as if she wanted to hold Jefferson's hand, but she was too shy about it. Instead, she just stood by his side looking at whatever it was he was looking. Jefferson liked having her around.

"So, what about you? Learn to drive yet?"-he asks her.

"My uncle Damien promised he'd teach me before the Fall. I'm looking forward to it,"-she says- "While I'm at school, I'm gonna get me a job, so I can buy a car! And then…"

"And then?"-he inquires. She blushes madly.

"I'll be able to visit you…"-she looks away. She is blushing. He frowns.

"Don't do that. Listen, it's a four hour drive, ok? Too long for you. You're still sixteen, far too young to be taking such a long trip,"-he says sternly. Her heart sinks a bit.

"I… I just want to see you…"-she says weakly.

"I know. But…think about your family. Won't your grandparents worry about you? Won't your aunt and uncle worry?"-he says, his voice gets a bit softer- "You're still sixteen. Maybe, when you are eighteen, you will be able to make that long trip by yourself. Besides, we'll see each other on the weekends, ok?"

She nods. Still feeling a bit dejected, but she understands what he means.

"So, at my job, guess what happened,"-he says.

"What?"-she asks.

"Bethany, that new freshman, put the moves on me again. I usually just shrug it off, but today, she was being a bit more insistent. She's getting cocky, now that she is starting to resemble her mom more,"-he says, smirking. Yeah, Lindsay is quite the attractive woman.

"W-well, umm, Bethany is the most popular girl in school. It's because, umm… she has the largest chest. All the boys stare at her,"-she omits telling him that even some of the teachers stare at Bethany. She didn't want to tell Jefferson that. He gets mad when men act like jerks.

" I don't blame them. That girl is starting to blossom,"-he says, chuckling slightly.

"Can we please stop talking about this?"-Megan says that a bit more hastily than she intended. Maybe it was her jealousy.

"Well now, jealous? Listen, Meg. I know girls your age can be a bit insecure about that subject. Just because a girl has a bigger chest, that does not mean she is automatically the most beautiful woman around. A woman with a smaller chest can also be beautiful"-he says to her. Se begins to blush. She hoped he was saying that about her, specifically. Megan's chest was barely a B cup, whilst Bethany's, though she is two years her junior, was the proud owner of a C cup. And she brags about the fact that her breasts will continue to grow into a DD cup, just like her mom.

"Well, that doesn't matter to me,"-she lied- "So uh, anyway… How's your mom?"

He grows cold. His stare becomes nearly icy. Jefferson's one true soft spot? His mom.

"Mom, she's… quite upset. It's the… Anniversary since the Jackass died,"-he says that last part with utmost venom.

"Your…"-Megan stops herself. She knows that's a delicate subject.

"Why the hell is she so hung up on that jerk? She LEFT him because he was a HOOKER!!! He was nothing more than an idiot party boy! You want to know how he died? Alcohol poisoning. My 'father', a porn star…"-he is starting to shake in anger. Megan holds his arm, trying to calm him down.

"Well, your mom must have cared for him. Why else would she be so upset?"-she tries to reason with him.

"Want to know what I do every time I think of my 'father'? I imagine beating the shit out of him. Do you know why my mom is always so depressed? Why she hardly smiles? Because of HIM. I hate him!!! I am GLAD he died!!!"-he shouts. He sees Megan is starting to tear up. His anger vanishes.

"No, no, Megan. Don't cry,"-he says to her, trying to calm her down.

"I'm sorry, I.. Don't know what came over me,"-she says.

"Well… I got carried away. I am sorry,"-he says, holding her in is arms. Megan liked that. She felt so safe in his arms. She allowed herself to feel his heartbeat.

"At least you remember your dad. I don't even remember what my parents looked like,"-she says.

"You don't?"-he had never known that.

"No. They died when I was young. About thirteen years ago, my grandpa says. He says Mom looked like me when she was my age,"-she says.

"Don't they have pictures of her? Of your dad?"-he asks.

"No. My grandparents don't really tell me much about my dad or my mom. I guess they just don't like talking about it,"-she says, looking away, but still holding on to him.

"Weird…"-Jefferson stood in silence. The fact that Megan was still latched onto him had not even registered in his mind until that moment.

Megan had let go, though she did not wish to do so. It had been the first time she had managed to feel Jefferson like that. Heck, it was the first time she had gotten THAT level of intimacy with a boy! She hid her face from him, lest he see her blush.

"Umm… listen, I'm sorry to have brought up your…"-she says to him.

"Don't worry about it, Meg. Thank you for asking about my mother,"-he replies offering a RARE smile.

"Didn't your mom have this guy…"-she is too shy to finish that sentence. Odd, considering that Megan is often the kind of girl to never hold in her thoughts, and always speaks her mind.

"DJ? Yeah, he's still around…"-Jefferson is deep in thought- "When I needed a father figure he was there. When my mom needed some help, he was there. It's been tough on us both, but DJ's always been there…"

"So, umm… does your mom like him? Does DJ like your mom?"-she asks.

Jefferson laid deep in thought. He opted to lie down on his back. Megan also decided to lie down and laid her head on his stomach. Jefferson paid no mind to that.

"My mom likes him, a lot… One time, she asked me if I'd like the idea of having a step dad… I told her no…"-he begins to burrow his brow, an unhappy memory for him in retrospect- "She was basically asking for my permission to go further in her relationship with DJ. I denied her… I should have told her yes…"

"Why did you tell her no?"-Megan asks, concerned.

"I guess… I didn't want anyone to do to her what my father did. I know DJ won't do something like that…"-he says, much regret in his voice.

"Jeff… I don't think it's too late. In fact… maybe now is the time… you'll be leaving for college…"-she says, her voice reflecting much of her own sadness.

"Meg… why are you sad?"-he asks her.

She does not answer. She simply looks on at the hills. The sky is getting a bit darker, the sun will set in about an hour or so.

"I guess I have to go home soon. I told grandma I'll be home in time for dinner,"-she says, rather sadly. She hated having to leave Jefferson. She treasured every minute with him.

"Oh… hey, know what? There were some tryouts for some new reality show at this college I had visited last week,"-he says.

"Ugh, reality shows are so lame,"-she says.

"Mom and my father met at one such a show. She also met DJ there,"-he says.

"Which show was it?"- she asks.

"I think it was called 'Total Drama Island', something like that,"-he says.

"No, the name doesn't ring a bell,"-she says. She is speaking the truth. Her grandparents never told her of the show.

A few minutes passed. It was now 6:49 PM.

"Hey Jefferson… what do you think…"-she wanted to ask him what he thought about her.

"About?"-he inquired.

"About… reality shows,"-she blurted.

"I share your opinion. They suck,"-he said.

"Umm… in college…"-she began.

"Yeah?"-he said.

"Will you… be looking for a girlfriend?"-she asked. All her hopes…

"No, I doubt it. I don't think I'll have the time to look for one,"-he said

"I love you,"-she soon realized what she had said and wished she could take it back.

"Huh?"-he was surprised.

"Umm,"-too late to take it back- "I… I uh… I like you. A lot. I've liked you for a long time…"

Jefferson stood there, in silence. Megan just wanted the earth to swallow her. Why did she blurt that out? She just wanted him to go on and pretend he didn't hear that.

"I'll be sincere. I don't have the time for a relationship right now,"-he saw how Megan's face was becoming sadder. His heart sank a bit- "But, I'm flattered that you feel that way."

"Umm, I, uh…"-she began to back away- "I have to go home now. Bye."

She ran. She didn't want him to see her tears. Jefferson looks down at his feet, frowning…

Jefferson went back to his own home. He saw his mother, and DJ at the table.

"Honey! I…where have you been? I made dinner for you… Are you hungry? It got cold, but I can reheat it…"-Bridgette was always like this. Seldom does she smile.

"Mom… can I talk to DJ… alone?"-asked Jefferson. Bridgette's eyes widened, but she said ok. She left the room, leaving the two most important men in her life to talk.

"Hey, DJ… can you do me a favor?'-he asks.

"Sure, pal,"-replied DJ, unsure of what he wanted.

"Take my mom out to dinner tomorrow. If you don't have the money, I'll spot you. But… take her out, show her a good time, ok?"-Said Jefferson, the young man who, for so long, kept his mom from dating out of fear someone would break her heart again.

DJ was speechless. He has waited for so long for the 19 year old man in front of him to give him permission to take Bridgette out on a date. DJ now, finally, had permission to date the woman he loved.

Megan cried herself to sleep.

In her dream, she was at this island. There seemed to be a summer camp in it. A sign read Camp, and some word she can't quite make out. She began to explore the Island.

There were a few people here already. Geoff was playing Frisbee with Owen, while Courtney watched the clear and tranquil lake.

"Hey,"-said a voice from behind her. Megan turned around and saw Heather. Heather motioned her to go to the Screaming Gopher cabin.

"Something wrong? You look upset,"-she said, concern in her voice.

"No, I mean, umm… oh, why did I tell him I love him?"-said Megan, tears in her eyes.

"But, you do, don't you?"-asked Heather. She sat beside her, stroking her hair.

"I do. I love him,"-she said.

"Don't worry, honey. It will all be ok,"-Heather hugs Megan as she says this. The hug feels tender and loving. Megan liked that.

Then she woke up

"I always dream about that place when I'm upset,"-she says, now sitting in her bed- "Is that girl… my guardian angel? She's so pretty."

Jefferson sat in his bed contemplating what he told Megan. He felt a lot of regret. Why didn't he see it before? She has the most beautiful face in the world. Her voice is like that of an angel's. She is sweet and caring, yet tough and independent. She is so down to Earth. She is everything a guy could ask for.

She inspired him to allow his mom to finally date DJ. When DJ asked her out, and she saw her son give an approving nod, she smiled. She rarely smiled. Megan helped him do that. And he threw her away.

He looks out his window. He stares at the Moon. All he can think about is her. Finally, while facing he Moon, he utters to the wind what he should have told that beautiful girl that evening, what he intends to tell her before the Summer ends:

"Megan… I love you too."

Author's note:

I am done. I have done what I thought I'd never get to do: I closed the book on my Opus, Children waiting for the day. I will be honest, I never intended to write a sequel. But, people asked for it, and I delivered. And I am glad people asked me for it. I wrote Children during a very hard time of my life. I was depressed. And I think, the way I wrote Children reflected that. I was having a hard time with myself… Ironic. My Opus is the brainchild of two circumstances. I said Children was inspired by Paka-Simon-Trevor-Forever's fic 'Stars in the Ceiling'. And that is true, also. But, most of what I wrote I wrote when I felt like dirt. Retrospective began as simply satisfying the people who asked for it. Then, I wrote the LeShawna chapter. It hit me, this fic is more than a sequel. It's a mouthpiece. I used the next two chapters, the Lindsay and Courtney chapters, to showcase the idea that, maybe, Heather does not deserve the hate she gets. And I stand by that. However, this last chapter, I wrote with the intention to express a new idea, concerning my new philosophy in life. Go ahead, guess, because I am not saying.

I am one hundred percent satisfied with this ending.

Go ahead, a review is very welcome.