Sorry for the delay but I had to plan this out! I'll be doing oneee more to this, the ending because I feel a bit drained of this and giving it all away wouldn't create the 'ambiance' that I wanted.
Thank you for the review, great one ems :D but I know you did Alert this story, which is ok! I do it, so.. thank you for that. But please review! Please!
Anyway, this is to my EMIILIE/KEMILE who I have missed dearly while she had been away from me! Andd this is to '8 out of 10 Cats' for the entertainment.
The two songs that I have been repeating whilst writing this are... We Can Try and Miss You, both by Between The Trees so I would suggest listening to them :). There new album 'Spain' is the current highlight of my life, along with the Jonas Brothers new album, the actual Jonas Brothers, Take That andddd All Time Low's new album! Oh andd 'The Locket' fan fic; So thanks for that!
Here is the ending to this, and please can someone write more stories about NH college and an older Jamie!! That would be brilliant! :D Oh and I just made this into Haley's pov because I feel it work's best.
I did all I could
And I gave everything
But you had to go your way
And that road was not for me
Turn right
Into my arms
Turn right you won't be alone
You might fall off this track sometimes
Hope to see you at the finish line
Turn Right- Jonas Brothers
"Hey, Haley, we're here, arn't you excited?" Oh noooo. I'm really have to do this, don't I?
What have I done? Haley James.
I'm going to wipe that smug smile off of Tim's face with my fist if he...
"Hales?"
"Hales, why did you call her Hales Tim, what is wrong with you, I mean seriously.."
Ahh. Run Haley, run. There knocking on the door. No.
"Where the hell have you been!?" His voice brought back so much, so many memories that I do think fondly off but are so hard to think back to, we had such fun, and we were in love! God, we were so in love.
But college came and we had dreams, like he'll I would make him give up basketball- he was going to be great. And he knew that Stanford was my dream, he was the only one who really realised how hard I had to work for it, for that perfect GPA. And yes Lucas understood why, but Nathan, he realised that yes, I liked school but it took sheer determination for perfection and complete effort and want to succeed at certain levels that push people full out, to the max, 100%. It never came easy to me, in fact I don't think it ever does, it's about wanting it, and Nathan, beautiful Nathan 'jerk' Scott saw the fight in me when I didn't really realise it myself.
So he tried to make me believe, make himself believe, that he would really give up Duke and ultimately basketball, for me- little old' Haley James.
He even proposed!
Ahh that took some hours, days even to make him realise that I would never say no to him and I did want to get married to him, but when we were older, when we could fully be together and he did come to his senses, after tough persuasion. Gosh, he was stubborn, nearly as stubborn as me.
So we parted, strangely. It was... strange. We were both crying, but the sky was blue and the sun was bright. And we were both kissing, profusely, it was funny really. We were holding each other so close and he kept, kept making these noises- he was definitely sobbing, but his hands were gripping me so tight, I mean he was intentionally hurting me but, it was lie he wanted to.. a tiny bit. Because I wasn't following him.
People always followed him, everyone had. And other than when I tutored him and rapidly fell under his, incredible spell, I only really said no and disconnected myself from him, when college had come around, when the rest of my life was ahead of me.
He...he...
I went to Stanford in California, and he went to Duke in North Carolina. We said we'd call, no, actually when we broke from each other, we didn't even say anything.
We never really spoke of talking to each other, because I think, we knew we always would. What could get in the way of.. us!?
The first month, I think my phone bill was the highest it had ever been. I called crying, he called sniffer ling, he called when he was drunk, I called when I was drunk. We called each other, no emails, we were always too personal for that, we had to hear each others voices for it to be..real, for communication to be just.
But then, one night, he called me.
And I heard a girl, actually two girls, calling him back. To bed.
And then the calls stopped, on my part and then finally his.
I tried to get him back, when I was with some guy, I called him, but he was always busy and the one time he did pick up, I just.. hung up. I could never do thatto him.
I really resented him for that. Badly.
So we never talked and I never came home. And mine and Brooke's and Peyton's relationship slowly slipped, I mean we were never best friends, I kind of dropped everyone for Nathan really.
Lucas, he had his life and he always called when he had problems, but other than that, we were never really the same. He talked about Nathan when he forgot he was talking to me, giving me bursts of information- like Ronald's name and then shutting off completely, followed by a pause of silence.
I never went home. Never. I missed Karen, but she was in Italy and New Zealand with Andy and Lily, and my parents, we'll they were everywhere. I visited when I had to.
But I always felt alone. The really sad thing was that I only really felt the notion of home and family when I was Nathan, and I hated that.
Shaking my head, taking me out of the daze, I saw Tim in front of me and the door was open.
He had a kindness in his eyes.
"Haley, what are you doing here?" He had a kindness in his voice too. "To see him." That was the truth, or at least a small part of it.
"Don't worry, I've just stalled them. There all too concerned with beer, we'll that's a bit hypocritical of me b..." I blinked.
"Tim, where did you learn that.." I sounded so harsh but, seriously! Tim!
"I got myself a tutor Hales, and she's so good, I mean I really get it!" Ahh Tim. He was so warm hearted, it was great to see him really, I know he was sort of Nathan's lap dog but no-one really gave him a chance. "And she's pretty hot!" Ahh the Tim we all know and love. Ew.
"Tim, man come on!"
His voice again. Tim nodded at me and squeezed my arm, not so lightly. I nodded at him back and gave him a good push, I needed to do this by myself.
You planned this out, didn't you Haley! Didn't You!
Ahhh, right. I got to about... 5 steps before I stalled. AHHHHHH.
Right. Inhale, Exhale. Inhale, Exhale.
Quick step Haley, quick steps.
I never thought I'd be here, really never. But as I turned my body slightly and took my first step into his dorm room, it felt like I'd broken through... something, like clearing the atmosphere.
I was quite empty, but I guess he was moving out so it was understandable. I bet it had been a tip.
I bet there had been posters, the other side looked clean so I'm guessing.. Ronald kept it in tip top shape. I grimaced, only imagining the mess. The large flat screen television was playing NBA Live I didn't have to look at it, I had witnessed enough of the games commentators tone. Infact the girls next to my dorm were on the women's basketball team and played NBA Live occasionally, I had took comfort in this noise for two years.
"Oh sexy, Nate say's that Ronald went out but that doesn't matter, you can stay here and party with us!" Ahh that cocky son of a b... "You don't mind do ya' Nate!?"
And there It was. I had been announced, finally conceived into this mess that I had created.
I didn't want to turn my head the slightest and my body cringed away from them, all assembled to the left of me. But his face... It made me move.
I stared straight at his face but could see the two others inquisitive; the game of NBA Live was now paused. And Tim, his grin was so bright.
Now his face, ahh. He was more mature, more manly. His chest broader and muscles were popping everywhere. He was gorgeous, as always, but now, he was really a man. You could see his stubble and his tired eyes, probably due to all his training, long bus rides and early mornings.
Was he a little bit taller? He was bigger at least and astoundingly beautiful, completely gorgeous.
Oh no, I bet I looked awful. My hair was long, his was short and our eyes matched I knew, they were tired.
I had my well-used skinny jeans on, but they had been worn for over 15 hours so they were no trouble. I had heels in my bag, but my old, battered brogues adorned my feet, not helping my height.. issues. I had been cold from the plane, the air conditioning had always gotten to me and my long, thin forest green cardigan hadn't really insulated me, and was creased.
My hair was blonder than he's seen, my face more wiry, I was skinnier and my lips a bit fuller. I think it was the sun, turning my face clearer- a definite advantage, but I was skinnier, I had learned that my room mate had talked about me behind my back, apparently I never at anything.
I hate lots, always had, but I was never a binge eater, like her. I caught here eating chips regularly, after her so called 'lunches' with the cheer leading squad that she wasn't even in. Lunch would equal salad and dressing if you were brave enough to stand the stares.
But I ate, I grew up with boys! Basketball playing boys and a free Café at my leisure!
I, Miss Haley James, was Queen pie eater of 2002 let me tell you!
Why do keep drifting back? Nathan, your Nathan is standing right in front of you Haley! What are you doing!?
His face was in shock; lips partially open in disbelief and eyes wide. He still looked hot.
What was I going to say? What would he say?
"Haley finally came to see us huh Nate." Tim was so gentile with his words, it was strange. Before I would have hated that he said 'us', like I would really travelled so far to see him but know, I really understood. He always had a good heart, and he grew up. I think that's all he really needed. And who else would have broken the awkward ice? Only Tim.
I muttered "Yeah" very quietly as everyone could feel and see the strange tension, Harry and Dylan's mouth were partially opened to and there eyes were anticipating the next move.
His voice broke, that was a sign. He was going to speak, to me. "What are you doing here Haley?"
"She's visiting Rodney apparently man, an ex-girlfriend! Can you believe he bagged her!?" Harry muttered the last part but the look of surprise and confusion in Nathan's eyes drew me in, I wanted to see every one of his reactions. I wanted to know what he was thinking, so desperately.
"Rodney?" Nathan choked out his name and was still completely confused. What should I say??
"Haley.. I erm.." I think it was all washing over him. "Wanna' drink sexy?" That Harry was sure cheeky, I could see Tim's lip being gnawed.
"Don't call her that." Nathan puffed out, his face was red and anger arouse in him. Oh. He was coming towards me. Ah, I looked down at his fingers grabbed at my arm, my body was tingling as he touched me and I.. smelt him for the first time in 2 years. I sound like a paedophile but, he gave me such a rush, his sent, his looks, his touch was so hypnotising and I.. ached for him, I had been aching for him for so long. Pride was washing away, as soon as I had booked that plane ticket, it had been slowly deteriorating.
"Wha.." The two friends were baffled as Nathan held me and then just let go. He was scared.
"What are you doing here Haley?"
He was angry and impatient. I couldn't think of what to say. My boring ringtone interrupted us but I could hardly answer it could I!?
Ahh. The name made me drop my phone instantly, my hand hovered with a burn before I stuck it in my hair, pretending to scratch my head. My eyes travelled all around the room, skipping the people before I swiftly turned and headed out of the doorway.
"Haley, you.. you can't come here and then just walk out. You.. you haven't even said anything to me for Christ sake.. I, why do I have to keep asking you Haley!? What are you doing here? What, what do you want!? I mean..."
My rambling mode was automatically switched on, I guess. From there, from him it just started.
"I had to come here! I mean, I hate it there for... I hate it Nathan! But I pushed through it and..and I did whatever I could you know. Why did you do that to me!? I mean, gosh we never really promised each other but you I never thought you would actually do that to me, to Peyton, sure! I didn't expect you to be a monk at college, it's kind of impossible but Nathan!" My head was shaking and my eyes were glossing over with sadness.
"And.. and when he.. all I thought about was you. It makes me so mad Nathan! You never hurt me physically but you hurt me more than was he did and that's awful! And you don't even know! You just.. no one cares any more do they, us; me, you, Luke, Brooke, Peyton! We don't care about each other any more! Why did we do this to each other Nathan!? Why didn't we say we'd call. I know we would fail at doing the whole 'We'll call every Wednesday' but gosh, we never set anything did we!? We never tried!"
My hands were going crazy, moving everywhere as usual, and my eyes were more watery. His face was slightly red and I could see his mind working over everything.
He tried say something but his mouth went dry, I shook my head. I travelled this far an...
"Who did what Haley?" I was the one with the dry mouth. "What did.. What did he do to you?"
It was rage in his eyes now.
"I..i.."
"Did he hit you? Who the fuck was it Haley?" I was scared but my emotions were sky high, I could see the boys standing in the shadows behind him. He was directly in the door way and I was in the corridor, backed up against the opposite wall now.
"Just someone in my class.. I.." I watched his feet move, just once. Just a step closer to me.
"Where?"
"At a party, It's just this big party that we.."
"Where?" He urges, he was closer to me.
"In a room somewhere Nathan, I do.." My first tear was filling my right eye and threatened dangerously to drop.
"What did he do to you?" There it was, it had dropped.
"He.. erm." I was so ashamed. "He grabbed me and pushed me and stuff... I just.. I couldn't hit back and I even tried that nose thing you taught me but it didn't work Nathan.. nothing worked." My head was doing and the tears were pouring now. I did really try every but he was so, so strong.
He was right there, right in front of me know. His hand, it crept to touch my shoulder. His lips uttered my name once or twice. He was bringing my cardigan down. He wanted to see the marks. Oh no. I felt humiliated. "I shouldn't have been.." He hushed me with my name again. I had missed him saying it, it had only sounded good on his lips. My head shot up when he touched the marks.
I never really knew you could get actual hand shaped bruises. Nathan never... I had never, ever experienced being physically hurt that much and the emotional pain was pretty unbearable. Something I would never forget I kept thinking as I sat waiting for the plain to take off.
He stroked the marks softly on my left arm, then examined the shoulder bruises on my right. His voice sounded like it was being strangled, "Is there anywhere.. e..lse." He was horrified at my nod but as much as I was trying to resist it, my head fell to his shoulder and I clenched his arms. My tears dropped onto his top. He just stood there, like my protector.
I didn't know what to do anymore.
