"Yo England! why does your office sign say 'Argument Clinic?'"

"I already told you why"

"No you didn't"

"Yes I did"

"Did not"

"Most certainly did"

"well whatever. I have something I want to discuss with you. I have a new Idea for how to solve the problems with global warming. As the hero I will travel to the moon with a rocket ship that-"

"I'm sorry. I don't have time for this. I'm busy."

"what do you mean you're busy. you're not doing anything."

"Yes I am"

"All right, you're drinking tea but-"

"No I'm not"

"Yes you are"

"Nope"

"It looks like tea"

"No it doesn't"

"It smells like tea"

"No it doesn't"

"Then what is it?"

"... Tea"

"That's what I just said!"

"No you didn't!"

"What the hell England! Stop talking nonsense! You could have spent the time you just wasted on that hearing me out in stead!"

"No I couldn't"

"Of course you could you-- AHA! You're doing this on purpose aren't you!? That's why the sign says argument clinic! But you know, you're just contradicting everything I say. That's not arguing!"

"Yes it is"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is"

"Shut up!"

"No I wont"

"You can't just say the opposite of what I'm saying and call it a real argument!"

"Yes I can"

"No you can't! Saying something like 'no it isn't' is not making a good argument"

"Yes it is"

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it- pfffffff hahahahahahahahaha ahahaha haaa hahaha"

"E-England!? What's so funny!? Stop laughing!"

"Hahaa No I haaa No I wont!"

"You're crazy!"

"No I'm not"

"Well I'm leaving!"

"No you're not"

"Yes I a--nnnmffff"

"Are you sure?"

"DID YOU JUST KISS ME!?"

"No I didn't"

"You just di--mmmmf - STOP KISSING ME!"

"I've never kissed you"

"You just did!"

"I did no such thing. I simply pressed our lips together."

"That IS kissing!"

"No it isn't. This is~"

"England you---- mmnnn nnh ahh. FUCK YOU!"

"aaah, that's right. Fuck me"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?"

"Nothing"

"You told me to fuck you!"

"No I didn't"

"Well I will!"

"No you wont"

"YOU CAN BE DAMN SURE I WILL!"

"Fine. Go ahead"

"I hate you"

"No you don't~"

A/N I wrote this at 3am so don't take any of it seriously. And you probably wont get it if you're not into Monty Python.