This is for Izzy-Lawliet (my bestest friend :))

It's for her story A-K-U-S-O-R-A, Got it Memorized? Haven't read it? Go read it now!!

Song: What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house,

that don't bother me.

I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out,

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while,

even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me.

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay,

but that's not what gets me.

I watched the rain fall from my cold window, my warm breath fogging it up when I exhaled. I couldn't stand not seeing you...holding you...kissing you...It was painful...even after a few months of you being gone...I couldn't help the tears that were falling from my eyes...still...your smile haunted me...it ripped my heart more and more each time I remembered the night you left me...the night I proposed...

I loved you...and still do...with anything that's left of my torn heart...

What hurts the most,

is being so close.

And having so much to say,

And watching you walk away.

And never knowin' what could have been,

and not seein' that lovin' you,

is what I was trying to do.

As I look back at the memories of us being together, the laughs, the crying, the days you hated me...I realized how much I missed your voice--which you had just gotten back from being a mute...and the way you said my name...and when you told me you loved me. My heart still aches for your voice...for you to tell me you love me once more...

It's hard to deal with the pain of loosing you everywhere I go,

But I'm doin' it.

It's hard to force that smile when I see your old friends and I'm alone,

still harder.

Gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret,

but I know, if I could do it over,

I would trade, give away all the words that I'd say in my heart,

that I left unspoken.

It was hard getting up in the morning, knowing you're gone...

It was hard going to school and seeing your brother, Roxas... I couldn't even make eye contact with him...

It was hard going anywhere...knowing I couldn't take you with me...

I'd give anything, anything, just to see you...your beautiful blue eyes...your innocent smile...your loving voice...I missed them terribly...and I died a little eveytime I thought about never seeing or hearing you again... I wished I could hold you and tell you how much I love you...and how much I couldn't stand not being able to live without you...

What hurts the most,

is being so close.

And having so much to say,

And watching you walk away.

And never knowin' what could have been,

and not seein' that lovin' you,

is what I was trying to do.

I stood at your grave, staring down at the ground as tears fell from my cheeks. I wipped them away and knelt down at your grave, laying the white rose--your favorite kind--in front of your tombstone. I traced my fingers around your name that was carved on it, then laid my forehead on the top of it. I brushed my thumb along the concrete.

I stood up and wiped more tears away.

"I love you, Sora..." I whispered.