Infomercial Junkie

Author: Sable-eyed-lily

Genre: Humor/Romance

Rating:K+

Summary: Draco gets introduced into the world of muggles. Harry's there to help... Or try to help. How could this go wrong???

Infomercial Junkie

"Draco, are you sure about this?" Blaise asked nervously.

"Don't worry, Harry taught me how to do this." Draco said brightly.

"There's a reliable source." Blaise muttered. "Why are we doing this again?"

"I am going to prove to Harry once and for all that I don't need his help with anything concerning muggles." Draco replied.

"Is this what muggles do all day?"

"Yes, some have even died from overexposure." Draco said seriously. Both heads turned towards the captivating screen. Draco lazily flipped through the channels.

"Wait! Go back!"

"Stain-Be-Gone is the greatest thing I've ever used. Watch how easily it gets out the stains." The TV blared out.

"You should get that." Blaise encouraged. "Potter would like it. Every time I see him, he has food on his shirt.

"Hand me the teleprompter and I'll call them." Draco held out his hand.

Blaise handed him the phone. "Is that what the muggles call it? Teleprompters?"

"Of course that's what the muggles call it. All you do is press these numbers and you can reach anyone in the world." Draco showed him the number pad as he dialed. "You have to give people the plastic card number and your address, and they'll send it to the house."

"You can reach anyone?" Blaise looked impressed. "Can we call someone in South America?"

"I know you can, but I don't know the number……… Done! It'll be here in a few days."

"You know…" Blaise paused thoughtfully. "If you order more things from the muggle thing, it'll all arrive on the same day. And that way, you can surprise Potter."

"What else should we order?"

"I don't know about you, but I liked that Magic Bullet. I bet a wizard invented it, and a muggle stole the idea."

"Yeah, the word magic makes it so obvious that its wizard made. Muggles steal everything. What was the number again?"

~~~~~~~~HD~~~~~~~~

"Draco? I'm home. I- Draco? What did you do?" Harry paused mid-step. The entire living room was covered in packages and pieces of tape. It looked like a tornado had hit the place.

"Surprise!" Draco's head popped up from over the end of the sofa. "I did just what you told me Harry."

"You've decided to buy everything at the grocery store?" Harry began an attempt to sift through the sea of packages.

"I ordered everything we needed the muggle way." Draco said proudly.

"And why do we need a Snuggie Blanket?" Harry asked, holding up the blue atrocity.

"It's a blanket with sleeves. It keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands. Now you can read a book in total warmth and comfort. It's made from ultra-soft, thick, luxurious fleece.

Harry looked at him incredulously. "Did you memorize the entire infomercial?"

"Is that what they call it? Did you know they even make the Snuggies for dogs. A blanket with sleeves for dogs? What will the muggles think of next? I found all of them on the telly and ordered everything I could find."

"E-everything?" Harry asked faintly.

"Wait 'til you see what I ordered from the Oxy-clean guy. He's amazing. There's this other thing called a Slap chop. And wait 'til I tell you about this mixer thing." Draco raved. "It's a countertop wizard! It's worth hundreds of dollars, but I used your little muggle card to get it for ninety-nine dollars."

Harry sighed. "Well, at least Ron will now have some more company in the Infomercial Junkie Club."

Soooooo... Did you like it? Hate it? Lemme know! R&R!!!!

XOXO
Lils