Disclaimers apply. I do not own Macross Frontier or anything related to the Macross franchise. This is just a short and silly oneshot.

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(SMS, Locker room…)

"You did well on your first time, rookie."

"Thanks! You were watching?"

"Yeah. You pulled a great maneuver out there."

"It was no sweat! It's nothing I can't handle."

"Really now."

(A smirk.)

"I thought training would be tough though. At least that's what they told me—but man, was it easy."

"Well stick around and you'll find it gets more challenging."

(A derisive snort.)

"Yeah, I wish."

(Locker door opens.)

!!!

?

"Is there a problem?"

"Err, nothing. You just didn't strike me as a fan of Sheryl Nome."

(A wide smile.)

"Are you kidding me? Who wouldn't be a fan of the hottest piece of ass in the galaxy?"

(Leers appreciatively at the poster.)

"Just look at her!"

"I'm looking."

"She is one damn fine woman with all those assets."

"What about her songs?"

"Her songs are great and all but I'm more interested in the finer arts, if you get what I'm saying."

"I think I do."

"Heard she has a boyfriend though…a pilot here in the SMS."

"Yeah."

"Do you know him?"

"Yeah, I do."

(A long whistle.)

"He is one lucky bastard."

"I suppose he is."

"Suppose? Every man in the universe wants to be in his pants!"

"Hm."

"Having that sweet thing all to himself. Why, I could think of a million ways to make that sweet piece sing some high notes for me."

"Sucks for you, I guess."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she's taken, isn't she?"

"Bah. I give her and that pilot of hers three more months. Babes like that don't settle for one thing for long."

"Really now…"

"If Sheryl Nome wants a real man, all she has to do is look me up. I'll give her a nice ride if you know my meaning."

"I do."

"I would start by kneading those fine front puppies of hers, squeeze 'em right. Get her wanting me."

"..."

"Then, I'd go prop her on my knee and have that sweet little backside of hers face me. You know what I'd do? Spank her. Spanking the galactic fairy sounds damn good."

"…"

"I'd have her wear that slutty concert outfit of hers. The one with those suspenders. She looks damn hot in those."

"…"

"Hey, you're looking a little flushed there. I haven't even gotten to the best part!"

"…"

"I'd grind her. Grind her good and get her mewling. I'd take her from behind and have her screaming in ecstasy. By the time I'd be done with her, she wouldn't be able to walk for weeks. She wouldn't be able to feel, much less think about that stupid pilot of"—

(A crash.)

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Canaria shook her head, as she tended to her patient. It would take a long time for all the damage he sustained to heal.

"What exactly happened?"

(A pathetic sob.)

"How was I supposed to know she was Saotome's woman?!"

-

Owari.