7 Years Ago

"I want you both to promise to shoot me in the head if I ever have three kids." Mary said as she watched the chaos going on in the other room.

Marshall and Stan agreed without question, and she inwardly sighed in relief. Now there'd be no worry of her ever having to mother anyone besides Jinx and Brandi. God knew she was tired of playing parent.

Present Day

Mary woke up slowly, keeping her eyes closed as she just listened and assessed her surroundings. The house was silent, a miracle in itself. The bed was warm and the sheets were clean and crisp, due to insistent bi-weekly washings. And then there was the familiar warmth and weight next to her; the cause of the bi-weekly washings.

She smiled sleepily, joy filling her in a way that had evaded her for most of her life. It had evaded her until she discovered something wonderful, years in the making and right under her nose.

As if he knew she was thinking of him, Marshall threw an arm over her waist and mumbled "Morning," sleepily.

"Morning, doofus. How'd you know I was awake?"

"You're smiling. You don't smile in your sleep. When you sleep it's more of a smirk."

Mary opened her eyes and stared at him. "You study my nocturnal habits?"

"Well, it's sort of hard not to after being married to you for five years," Marshall said with a smile, and kissed her forehead softly. "Good point," she sighed out, cuddling in closer to her partner, at work and home. Just when she was about ready to fall back asleep, loud wailing came from down the hall.

"Aw, crap."

Then, right on cue, five-year-old Sarah yelled "Mom! The doofus baby is crying again! I can't sleep!" Then, also right on cue, the new puppy that Sarah just had to have started barking excitedly, seeming to enjoy the sudden commotion.

Mary sighed, but was then reminded of what she had to tell Marshall. She couldn't tell him the night before because he had to work late, as is normal when dealing with pesky witnesses.

"You gonna get Adam?" Marshall asked, starting to roll over onto his left side. Mary grabbed his shoulder to stop him and said "In a minute. First, I need to ask you something. Are you good at keeping your promises?"

Marshall raised a brow. "Yeah, usually. Why…?"

She smirked. "How about seven-year-old promises?"

Now Marshall just looked confused. "What are you getting at?"

Mary ignored him and continued, "Because you can't keep this particular one. I have no interest in being shot in the head. My three kids need me."

"Mare, we have two- Oh… Oh! Holy crap, are you serious?"

Mary nodded, grinning. Marshall laughed ecstatically and hugged her tightly.

"So we've got two kids, another on the way, and a dog. Where's our white picket fence?" he asked sarcastically.

Mary rolled her eyes and kissed him lightly. "Dumbass. Now, today you have to protect me from Stan."

"Why, what for?"

Mary grinned. "Because. He's way too good at keeping his promises."