Title: For Now

Author: starlight2005

Pairing: Dean/Castiel

Warning: slight spoilers for Season 4, boys kissing

Rating: PG-13 (nothing big yet…)

Disclaimer: They aren't mine.

Word Count: 1,939

Summary: "I'm as much invested in this as you are and if you're in trouble, I want to protect you. It's my job now. We've been through a lot together, haven't we?" In which Dean gets possessive and kissed by an angel who'll never give up on him. Ever. Sequel to "Certainly" (but can stand alone)

~*~*~*~*~

Here's a fact for Dean Winchester: the moment he gasped his first breath and stared at his parents in wide-eyed wonder was the same moment Castiel was dragged from the battlefield to watch over him. The orders were to make sure the boy didn't stray afar or do something remarkably stupid. The orders weren't for Castiel to hover, stay back and be there to catch the boy should he fall. But the moment 6-year old Dean looked at the sky and asked his Dad why angels didn't watch over his Mom, Castiel vowed to do what he wasn't told to do. He's still following orders, anyway.

Until he got too busy catching that Dean slipped away and actually sold his soul. Zachariah had been too furious. Uriel had refused to talk to him and Castiel had been simply too worried about Dean to notice.

Not that Dean actually knows these things.

So it's been two hours and Dean is bored. Being holed up in a motel room with a fever and a busted shoulder isn't fun. Sucks to be him, he knows. The Apocalypse is starting and he's stuck here waiting for Sam and Castiel to wrap up a case. Which, oh, was supposed to end two fucking hours ago! Dean groans as he sits up, reaching for his phone to call his brother. Again. As he does, he notices he mess their room is left in. Sam and Cas had been both busy researching and attending to Dean, they basically dropped everything else.

There are books and sheets of paper scattered everywhere, Sam's laptop even on top of a pile of books. Their bags are on the coffee table, thrown there last time while Sam half-dragged, half-carried Dean to bed. Ever since the whole save the seals, save Sammy from going dark side quest went loco, his brother seemed to go back to being the oh-woe-is-me, overprotective Sammy Dean kinda is irked at. But hey, blood's thicker than water, right?

Anyway, they're still supposed to be here right now.

And Dean is worrying his head off, is the thing.

"Come on, Sammy…" he mutters under his breath as his brother's phone continues to ring. Dear ol' Sammy however, has the weirdest timing and chooses that moment to arrive, open the door and cease Dean's worrying. The older brother has sat up now, leaning most of his weight on the headboard and glaring at Sam like he kills ponies for fun. When Sam is about to speak, Dean chucks a pillow at his direction and hits him squarely on the face.

"What the hell, man?" Sam questions, catching the confusion flash on Dean's face.

"Hey, where's Cas?"

Oh, right. Sam shakes his head, shrugging nonchalantly afterwards. "He wanted some time to think. The case was—I guess it hit him close to home. He asked to be dropped at the library."

Dean rolls his eyes. Figures, he travels with two people who brood and sulk all day (Sam) and go to the library to think (Cas). Why can't they go to a bar or something? That would have been better! When the rest of Sam's words finally sink in, Dean's eyes widens with concern and he stands up, grabbing his jacket in the process. He almost falls as a wave of vertigo sweeps over him. Damn, he forgot about that.

Hit him close to home.

"Gimme the keys, Sammy," he orders, watching Sam's frown lines re-appear. Dean rolls his eyes again. "I'm driving and you most definitely can't stop me. So give it."

"Dean."

"Sam."

"Fine." Sam concedes and hands the keys over. Glances in concern as Dean left and shut the door harsher than he had intended to. Using the arm with the injured shoulder. That's gotta hurt.

And it does. Hurt. Dean grits his teeth as he continues to drive. It's started to rain, too. Raindrops pelting on the Impala's windows like tiny stones being thrown by overenthusiastic children. When he reaches the town, it's raining cats and dogs. Not literally because that's just seriously fucked up. But yeah, raining pretty hard that he almost misses the left he's supposed to take. He drives his baby left and stops at the sight of a familiar beige trenchcoat on the sidewalk. Apparently Castiel got bored with all those dusty books and decided to leave. Only to leave when the rain is finally pouring. Idiot angel, Dean thinks adoringly.

Doesn't explain why Cas is talking to some random guy in a monkeysuit as if it isn't raining. Also doesn't explain why Random Guy is half-embracing, half-leaning on Castiel like he's Cas' long lost lover or something.

Something bubbles inside Dean. Makes him feel angry because back off, Cas is his. Before he can weigh the pros and cons of simply stomping over there, he's well… stomping towards them, ready to pull his damn angel away. Stupid Random Guy. He's close enough to catch snippets of their conversation and what he hears stops him from making his presence known.

"This isn't worth getting punished for, Castiel," Random Stupid Guy (Very creative, Dean. Oh shut up.) says. What punishment? Dean sees Cas shake his head, obviously disagreeing.

"It is worth everything that I can do. You do not understand. They're not as vile as you think, brother."

"He has evidently clouded your judgment. Yes, they may deserve the benefit of a doubt but there is a—"

"What? A bigger picture? As far as bigger pictures go, we waste too many lives. You know this. The bigger picture was to use Dean to get information from Alistair, who didn't have it. Dean nearly died then. The bigger picture was destroying two towns simply because there might be a seal. If I recall correctly, there was no seal in that place. So no, bigger pictures do not do us much."

"Bitterness does not suit you, Castiel," the guy warns. Smug bastard. Dean finds it difficult to walk over there, wanting to respect Castiel's conversation. But Stupid Random Guy is still not as far as humanely possible from Cas and really, do people not know the concept of personal space and boyfriends anymore?

"I care not. I stand by my decision. I shan't give up on Dean." And that right there makes Dean feel funny. Makes Dean's heart swell because see, he's never heard someone say that about him before. Makes him know that Cas isn't going to leave him just like that. This time the other guy chuckles humorlessly. Eyeing Castiel like he just walked into a trap. Like Dean said, smug bastard.

"Does he know what you are giving up for him, brother?" Stupid Random Guy sneers. Dean actually shudders, remembering Alistair all of a sudden. "Does he know that you have been forbidden to return to Heaven?"

Dean's eyes widens.

"What?" He unwittingly voices out. His voice catches their attention, both turning to Dean like he appeared out of nowhere. Dean chooses to ignore the guy and glances at his angel, who looks very much adorable in his drenched, hand-in-the-cookie-jar state. For once, the hunter doesn't focus on that. Head still stuck on the huge possibility that Cas can't ever go back. Can't go back to his home, where he's most happy at. Like Cas said in their late night conversations. All because of Dean.

Because he didn't know any better…

Dean Winchester does it again, he thinks self-loathingly.

It's Random Stupid Guy who breaks the ice, looking as dear in the headlights as Sam was when he exorcised a demon with his mind without the slightest sign of remorse. The image seriously creeps Dean out.

"Think about it, brother," the guy says, looking at Castiel. Solemnly, softly now, "My means of protecting you from them can only do so much."

He vanishes in a blink of an eye, leaving Castiel to deal with Dean's questions. Dean stares at him then turns around, hating the dejected look and quite visible slump of Castiel's shoulders.

"Come on," he says when the angel doesn't show signs of following him to the car anytime soon. It surprises him that his voice doesn't break at that. That as he starts to walk, he doesn't fall mid-step and feel like his knees are going to give up on him.

Forbidden to return to Heaven.

Castiel refuses to meet his eyes even as they walk side by side. Something about that breaks Dean's heart. He doesn't want this, y'know? For Cas to suddenly stop talking to him. As if he can't trust Dean anymore. Like Dean doesn't deserve it at all.

"Okay." It takes all of Dean's self-control for his voice not to waver. They're inside the car now, watching the rain and doing their best to put the incident behind. Castiel turns to him, surprised. Anticipating an outburst that won't come. Softly, Dean continues, still not looking, "I'm not angry, Cas. If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. I'm not going to hate you or push you, whatever. It's all up to you."

"Dean…"

"I do wish you'll tell me, though, y'know? Coz I want to know. I'm as much invested in this as you are and if you're in trouble, I want to protect you. It's my job now. We've been through a lot together, haven't we?"

"Dean—"

Figures. Well, Dean tried anyway.

"Okay, shutting up now." Dean's never felt this defeated and so scrubbed raw before. It's very uncomfortable. He doesn't realize that he's been avoiding staring at the angel until he feels two hands cradling his face and moving it so that he's finally meeting Castiel's gaze. He sees Castiel smile and it's well… beautiful. All sincere and kind and… Dean's breath hitches painfully. There's no way he actually deserves this.

"It's not about trust, Dean," Cas whispers and leans in, taking Dean's lips in a kiss. They kiss slowly as if they're searching for something meaningful in this and taking their time to appreciate it. By reflex, Dean shuts his eyes just as one of Castiel's hands reaches the back of his neck and pulls him closer. Deepening the kiss in the process. Their close proximity elicits a gasp from Dean and Castiel seizes this opportunity to slip his tongue into Dean's mouth.

Kissing shouldn't be this hot. Not in Dean's experience, what with being accustomed to rushed liplocks in one night stands he had had in the past. Not that he can remember anything since his brain is kinda shutting down at the moment. It takes him a couple of seconds to realize that Cas has already pulled away. Apparently still feeling the ghost of Cas' lips on his. When Dean opens his eyes, Cas is smiling again; gentle and reassuring. Dean doesn't find the words to react to it. So he keeps staring; wide-eyed and breathless.

"It's not about trust," the angel repeats. He's either an expert in reading between the lines or he knows Dean damn well. Dean figures it's both. "I just need to take care of some things by myself. But I promise you, I shall ask your help when I am in need of it."

That one, Dean can accept. Understand. He nods, alright.

Of course Cas hears this, even without Dean needing to say it aloud. That's just the way he is.

"Thank you, Dean."

Just like that, it's over and Dean's pulling from the side and driving back to the motel. Okay, maybe it isn't over yet but Dean knows when to back off and give people space. They're going to talk about this in the future, for sure. And he's going to help, whether Cas voices it or not. Cas isn't the only person in this relationship to read between the lines, after all. They drive back in comfortable silence. It's as peaceful as it has always been between them.

The following morning, Sam puts him under house arrest as his fever worsens and Castiel spends most of his time by his side, stealing kisses when Sam has his back turned. Dean grins.

Everything's kinda better now.

FIN