Stranger than Fiction

Prologue

I'm your typical suburban housewife: two kids, one dog, a very messy minivan, swing set in the back yard, and a modest two-story home. Overscheduled and underappreciated by my family. Fighting a losing battle to get back my figure, thanks to very little exercise and very bad eating habits. Rapidly approaching the big 4-0 and watching my libido, my memory, and my vision start to tank. Add in a loud Italian husband, nosy neighbors, some crazy girlfriends, and the fact that I live in New Jersey… and you have the perfect recipe for a TV sitcom.

Truth is, my life is pretty dull. I'm not miserable, mind you; maybe just ready for a little something to shake things up. Nothing too exciting ever seems to happen to me. In fact, the only activity that adds a little spice to my life these days is my monthly book club. I'm certainly no book-worm and our get-togethers are far from "scholarly" discussion, but it's something I really look forward to each month. Basically, a group of women similar to myself use reading as an excuse to hang out, drink margaritas, and bitch about our husbands, our kids, and our jobs. Oh, and we talk about books, too.

Each month we choose a different book to discuss for the next time. Our tastes lean toward romance, mystery, and popular fiction. Current favorites include Jodi Picoult, Janet Evanovich (required reading if you're from Jersey) and Charlaine Harris. That last author, I might add, has been the catalyst for many big changes around here. We used to be a normal group of responsible wives and mothers, but Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries (SVM) have transformed us into babbling, foolish, love-struck girls— SVM addicts desperate for a quick fix of vampire to get us through each day.

As we anxiously wait for the ninth book to come out next month, we are strongly at odds over which suitor is best for Sookie, the main character. My best friend Angela and I are aptly called "Eric lovers" because of our deep affection for the blonde and sexy badass vampire by that name. The remaining, and sadly misguided, group members favor vampire Bill, Sookie's first-love. This division among us has led to many heated debates and definitely has added some spunk to our get-togethers.

Our husbands are tolerant of our latest addiction, for the most part. Angela's husband, Sal, has had the roughest time of it, though. That's understandable, given that his wife spends all of her free time in Sookie-related activities. Sure, I adore the books and love the romance in them, but Angela has become absolutely obsessed. She constantly rereads the books, watches a cable TV adaptation, visits author and fan websites, and has even started writing something called 'Fan Fiction.' She can quote the books, chapters, and even page numbers for a specific reference or event; I consider her a walking encyclopedia of SVM knowledge.

Surprisingly, the stories have even managed to jump-start the sex lives for most of our group, and that's the real reason why our husbands have been so tolerant. But the more I read about Sookie and the excitement in her life (and in her bed), the more dissatisfied I feel about my own life. Strange, huh? Unless my husband Michael grows fangs and transforms into the beautiful Eric I envision in my reading, I can't help but feel a little disappointed in the bedroom these days. The perils of reading fiction, I guess.

Anyway, my current Sookie mania and my longing for more excitement are what led to the strange events I am about to share with you. My narrative is absolutely true, though I know that few people will believe it. But I swear it was not some dream or fantasy. All I ask is for you to keep an open mind…