Hello! It's me, Ara chirping in to bring you a Kyo X Haru fic, because we all know how cute that is- For once, I will finish a fic O: Also, those of you wondering what happened to my one story, Watercolors, I removed it because I was more interested on working on this one :3 And I like this one a whole fuckton more :3 So bite me *hearts*

I love you guiseeee!

Disclaimer: *Disclaims*

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-------------------------------------------------Feline and The Bovine---------------------------------------------------

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"Yo'," was all I heard from the voice behind me. It wasn't hard to guess who it was who had intruded upon my room on the cold and stormy evening, and judging from the monotone voice I knew instantly that it was Haru. Now what the fuck is he doing here? I wasn't in the mood to be bothered, I couldn't imagine what he could possibly obtain from me in this condition. His obsession is with that fucking rat, not me, so why is he bothering me- breaking the solitude of my room?

I felt so damn intruded. I just wanted to be alone.

Once again I felt that disgusting twist of flesh inside me that made me want to vomit, and my eyes were still sore from all the tears I've been shedding lately. I didn't need for that relentless bovine to see me like this, all weak and broken down, mourning for the lost of loss of the things I never had.

I'm guessing he isn't around that fucker because he feels it too, the rejection- the sting of seeing someone you love with someone else. Ever since Tohru and Yuki became official, I could of died then and there- I had to fight back the lump in my throat, hold back my tears of anger, frustration, and sense of betrayal because everything was completely taken from me. The bovine's unwavering love for that fucking rat must of made him feel as shitty as I do now for him to come and collapse the seclusion of my room.

I always knew she'd choose him, but some part of me ached that it wouldn't happen.

Just my luck. I hated Yuki, but now I think I abhorred Tohru even more.

It doesn't take keen vigilance in guessing Haru's feeling it too, since he's back here, in my fucking space. It's not like I wanted to see anyone, especially while I'm feeling like I'm rotting, and I can't understand why Haru would be in my room. It's not like I felt like being nice today, and I'm pretty sure I hate the stupid cow.

"The hell you want," I couldn't contain myself, I was miserable, agitated, frustrated, lonely- I guess this is what heartache is like, when you feel like someone is stabbing your chest over and over with your own words… clawing at it, gnawing at your flesh and draining the energy, the very life out of you with their eyes.

That damn cow took another step in my room, then another one- how bold of him to do that, considering that I don't think he should be bothering me right now. I cant say that I am much up for a talk.

"Want to go do something?" His voice was nonchalant and impassive, as he stood there with a stoic look on his face. If he was nearly as upset as I was at the revelation of Tohru and Yuki, you wouldn't know it, because his face look as detached as always. Which begs the question, how the hell did he get that way anyway?

Why the fuck would I want to leave my room for anyway? Leave and then do what? Hang out? Pretend everything was just dandy? And when since this shitty cow became my comrade anyway?

Guess he wants to feel like shit together.

Fuck you, Haru.

"The hell would I want to hang out for?" I said harshly, finally giving him a response that hung in the back of my throat since he asked. He was quiet for a few moments, as if contemplating something--

"We could talk."

There was nothing in the world right now that would make me talk to that god forbidden bovine. I stayed silent to his proposition, as if there was much to respond with. Either that, or I didn't felt I owed him anything to respond.

I didn't want to feel anything but all the same I felt like agony.

I wish I was more apathetic.

"You don't have to be like that, Kyo," he stated listlessly, then I thought to myself 'who the fuck died and made this prick a counselor?' He was just like anyone else, barely sixteen, and he's going to tell me how I should be? Everyone's thoughts and opinions didn't matter to me anymore at this stage, and I just wished he'd give up already.

I was hoping he'd go away, but instead I could see him coming closer from my peripheral vision, and felt the weight of him settle down on the edge of my bed.

"Haru, get the hell out," I said in a low, but detrimental voice. His presence here made no difference to me, and I sure hell didn't want him to see me in this dismal-like state-- in fact I didn't want anyone to see me like this…

"Kyo, are you going to be o-" I couldn't contain myself around him any longer. I just attacked him like a wild scared animal-- he was getting too close, I wanted to be left alone, because I felt like a wounded cat and he kept prodding. I was on top of him, gripping harsh and tightly to his shirt's collar with one hand and with the other, a fist drawn high, ready for impact on his stupid fucking face…

But I paused.

I couldn't hit him, I couldn't bring myself to do that to him, maybe it was because he was going through the same thing, or maybe it was how he just laid there, his deep storm-cloud eyes looking into my wild bloodshot tired ones… I felt my eyes burning, watering, a hot tear fell from my eyes and it landed onto the insipid flesh that is his cheek… then I felt like I was suffocating… like I couldn't even breathe… the look in his eyes were so toxic and cold in an impassive way, that when I inhaled it into my lungs I felt them immobilize.

"Kyo," he said. It had seemed like a low whisper against the rain pitter patter of the rain. Another hot tear flooded over the brim of my eyes landed on his detached face. "Kyo…" he whispered again, in the same sense as last time, and before I could react I felt his arms pull me down onto him with an locked embrace, and then I knew he was hugging me. So much anger and frustration welded up into my chest like a hot and sticky clot that I let him. All the negative emotions was not triggered toward him, but toward myself, and I didn't feel like arguing, I just wanted to be at rest.

"Kyo, breathe."

I heard him it almost edgily, and I haven't realized that I was holding my breath. His embrace had gotten unyielding, and it felt almost heartening, influential enough to let me let go of the breath I've been holding for so long.

I was as rigid as a rock, but, this was the only fucking person to care right now, and I didn't care who the fuck I was getting it from so long as it wasn't Tohru or that incessant vile rat.

I convinced myself that so long as it was coming from Haru, it was okay. Laying so close to his chest enough to hear his heart beat slowly, unlike mine that was just winding down as if I had been through a frenzy, I had wondered how did he know I would be affected by this? How did he know I felt that way about Tohru if I had never told her, or anyone for that matter… Was I that easy to interpret?

When Haru had left me that night, he gave me a slight smile, and I almost believed it was a smile of reassurance-- like things would get better… It was one of the few times he's ever shone any form of emotion outside of the rage explicated by Black Haru, but how can he be so damn optimistic? And why would he want to soothe me? That damn bovine could be so perplexing at times.

………Next morning………

It didn't stop raining until the morning had come, but even then the raining was on and off… inconsistent it seemed.

I hate the rain.

The rain made me weak, confused, lost, and disheartened as if it was never going to end. The rain brought out all my fears, because it weakened my mind with it's undying power, controlled me like a puppet-master the way it made me stagger and fill me up with nausea and confusion. It was ineffable what it did to me.

I'm going to go for a walk before the downpour would come again. I'm not even sure I got appropriately ready, but it was proper enough for me. I didn't need shoes or a jacket to go for a walk in the damn forest…

Bit by bit, I walked down the stairs, wordlessly hoping I wont see her and him jointly, but just my luck to see them sitting on the porch, gazing at the rainbow fashioned by the rain. I didn't walk in between them, I walked from the side and onto the muddy earth. I felt tired, weak, and I know I looked unkempt and disheveled, but I just didn't give a fuck right now.

"Kyo…" I heard Tohru call to me imploringly, wishing I'd ever talked to her, while Yuki wouldn't even endeavor to meet my glower. I ignored her, and to Yuki I didn't owe him shit to say anything.

"Kyo, please…" She tried as I walked off, I could hear her stand, and I knew she had tears in her eyes, but I was too far off in my head and into the distance.

I'm feeling dizzy.

I held my breath too long.

I finally breathe the breath I've been holding for so long… It did little to revitalize me. I just needed to walk for awhile, yet I don't want to return, as if I could fall off the edge of the earth and not care.

I don't know how long I've been walking in all honesty, I don't keep track of much anymore- but I was much deeper in the forest than I've ever anticipated, and I didn't distinguish the area I was in. Right now, I didn't care.

I don't care what happens.

I don't care what happens to me.

The worst has already happened in comparison.

As I walk pass these gray trees… the gray dirt… gray grass and mud… glancing up at the gray skies to see gray birds and a gray sun, I started to get the feeling I'm being fol-

I feel a hand grab my shoulder very stern and firm, though I could easily tell who it was, for there's only one person I know of who wears an excessive amount of rings the way he does and it had to be Haru again, he was following me, or at least going in the same direction.

"Damn cow," I muttered under my breath almost indistinctly.

"Yo'," was all the damn thing could say before turning me around to meet his storm-cloud gaze, and "where's your shoes?" He questioned apathetically as he looked downward to my muddy feet, some of which had traveled onto my pants… "Kyo, it's going to rain soon, you should go back…"

"I don't-"

"I do. I care. You're gon-"

"No you don't, no one gives a--"

"Kyo… fine. I'm coming wi-"

"Like hell you are!"

I think… that's the first time I yelled since… eternity.

"Are you really going to stop me, are you really going to push me away?" What the hell was he talking about… it's not as if we ever really talked, why did he want me to divulge in him?

"We were never close, why the hell do you care now?" My words were raw and harsh and as sharp as a razor on flesh, but it spoke what I've been wondering for some time. He was silent, I wasn't very surprised at he lack of reaction either. I began to walk away, but the bovine persistently followed behind.

Its not like I have the strength to do anything about it.

"I want you to cry," I heard him say casually. I thought of my next response carefully.

"Fuck you," I stated.

"I wont judge you, Kyo."

"Fuck you, Haru," I said, as equally thought out.

"I'll underst--"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE MOCK ME!" I was hollered pissed, and I wasn't in the mood for his bullshit. But then…

Tat tat tat…

I hate the rain.

I could see in my peripheral vision Haru taking off his jacket before saying "You'll get sick," then draping it over my shoulders. I didn't bother to dissent however, it seemed vain… and I was beginning to feel so damn weak all over again. My vision was spiraling, and I was beginning to feel to lethargic to ask my next thought…

"Haru… why the hell are you trying…" I said weakly as I begin to stumble, going onto my knees and breathing as if I were out of breath. What he said next I had little if at all preparation for…

"Because Kyo, you're not just the Cat…"

I could feel his arms wrapped around me, lifting me to his chest but then I clouded over and slept…

…………….......

When I woke up, it was still raining, but it was dark and the walls around me made me feel as if I was in a box of some sort- it was night, and the setting seemed so familiar. I felt warm yet cold, I had to be in my room, in my bed, under my covers. I couldn't recollect much of anything, it was too hazy, everything was so … eccentric. Like looking at those mirrors that disfigure you… the ones at those parks…what are they called…

I sat up on my elbows, wooziness shot up to my head like a shriek, and all the dark objects in the room seem to quiver as my head was given in to broken consciousness.

I hate the rain.

I wonder if Haru was still near… It was weird that he was being so… accommodating of me. I really couldn't say why the hell he would want to, but he… what's this?

I felt something soft at my fingertips. Like… hair, but really silken, and when I looked to it, I could sort of see its bright color in the dark.

Haru?

He had his head resting at the side of my bed as he knelt beside it, resting on top of his folded arms. What the hell is he still with me for? Why is he still watching over me? I was perplexed, the damn cow never took any real interest in me, but when I feel like a piece of shit, I'm a manifestation, a spectacle to behold.

Some part of me valued it though, it was as if someone saw me as a victim in this and wanted to help me for a change, but what was his motive, that's the thought I get lost at…

Thunder ripped callously throughout the sky, flashing fiercely into my dark room haphazardly, so loud it was deafening. I sighed, sitting up completely, my elbows on my thighs with my face in my hands. I had the disposition of someone in anxiety.

"Kyo," I heard Haru say suddenly as he lifted his head back to look up to me, "are you alright?"

"Why are you still bothering me?" I said in almost a cold and strained voice. Did I really even want him to depart? Did his staying here make that much a difference to me?

By this time, Haru suddenly dragged himself up on my bed and sat beside me in almost the same posture, but with his chin in his palms and looked to me inquired.

I felt less than at ease. I wasn't content with a physical form in my bed right now, especially that of a unpredictable schizophrenic-like teenager, but I'm speculating he thought I didn't give a fuck because he sure didn't look like he was about to go anywhere.

"Stings a lot," he said acrimoniously, as if he could relate. I didn't say anything, and I hardly reacted. I wasn't about to elucidate my miserable pain with him, and I think he picked up on that.

"Cheated by the opposite of love, held on high from--" he quoted rhythmically.

"What the hell are you talking about Haru?" I don't think I could of sound more pathetic than I did just then.

"It's a song, I've had it stuck in my head. Thought I'd share it," he stated nonchalantly-- the fuck was he thinking? I wasn't in the mood for songs, especially one starting with the words "cheated by the opposite of love," because there's no fucking love here, not radiant any-fucking-where as my eyes can fucking see. Haru was starting to pulverize my nerves too, the fuck is he doing here--

"Kept on high from up-up-up above. Kept my high from the second one, kept my eye on the first one…" Oh what the hell, it wasn't shit I could do about it now, "take these rings, stow them safe away, I'll wear them on another rainy day…"

Then he stopped, and look towards me suggesting with his eyes.

"Kyo," I didn't respond to him, and right now I wanted him off my bed… "You listen to music?" He stated, questioning me. Music? How was music going to get me out of this shit hole?

"Hmm." It was barely audible but I still heard him singing under his breath. What has him in such a mood? I was less than thrilled to hear any of it…

"I don't listen to music, it's a waste of time," I found myself saying after hardly any thought, and he just looked at me… for what seemed like a really long, interminable time.

"Kyo, it's not the end of the world," he said, finally coming to a conclusion. "I know yo--"

"Don't act like you know me 'cause you spent some unwanted time around me Haru," I said ruthlessly. I didn't want him judging me, no matter how good or bad it was. I got a minimal reaction out of him, but he did shift his body so that his feet was on the floor and ready to leave.

"See you around, Kyo," He said before putting on his boots and leaving the otherwise cold and lonely room.

.

.

.

[Hatsuharu]

I wasn't surprised that Kyo was being so reluctant towards me. I knew it would take effort on my part. I was really just trying to help. I guess I'm no good at it.

It wasn't as if I was pitying him, I know he thought that. I do care, and I wish he didn't think everyone was out to get him. He's so frustratingly mistrustful.

I saw him as more than just a cat.

It was three days later, and I found myself standing in the forest that supposedly led to Shigure's house, but now that I think of it…

It's not very familiar.

…

And holy fucking shit, that fucking cat wasn't gonna get near me unless I hauled his worthless ass here!

Ouch!

That fucking hurt! I kicked the damn tree in my overpowering frustration. I can't take being lost, and for what? For some ungrateful little shit to just try and push me away any-effing-way. I wonder why I even bother trying to cheer up someone who only brings themselves down.

"FUCKING SHIT!" I yelled in frustration. Being lost wasn't helping the situation, and I knew Kyo needed me to be there because everyone else felt they were too fucking important to spend thirty minutes of their day, reassuring him and comforting him. Everyone's so fucking caught up with their own bullshit that someone's broken heart, that needs mending and tending, flies over their big egotistical heads. Part of the reason why I can't hardly stand Yuki. "WHERE THE FUCK AM I?" I yelled aloud, walking in circles as if I was pacing.

…

"Ya' lost, stupid cow?" I heard. Hey, that sound a hell of a lot like Kyo… And who the hell said he could call me stupid? I'm not fucking obtuse, he's the one pushing people the hell away- stupid effing pussy!

"I was looking for your fucking ungrateful sorry ass all morning!" I yelled to him, but it accomplished very little from as far as I could see. He didn't even really seemed phased by my sudden flare of anger toward him. All that cat did was put his hands on his hip and sigh, as if frustrated, like he had something better to do.

I'm the one fucking anxious!

"Gee whiz, you're black," he mumbled under his breath. If he wasn't such a pansy he probably say it louder, but he was afraid- he should be, I don't put up with anyone's bullshit and with my frustration it'd do him and I a whole wonder of good if he didn't give me his.

"Wanna say that louder you ass?" I stipulated, testing him. I was so agitated with that fucking cat, I could just curb-stomp the daylights out of him, but only if I didn't care about him as much as I did.

Ow!

I felt a pain at my chest as I looked toward Kyo who threw a fucking pebble at me! Next thing I knew, I tackled him to the ground, but his cat reflexes made him agile enough to flip me over and…

"Hey, Kyo," I said as he straddled me, looking as if he was going to punch me my lights out. Lucky for me, it looked as if some sudden realization flashed into his head and he put his hand down. Hmm, de ja vu. I looked up to him with a interested smirk that inquired him, trying to figure out what it is he was doing.

He let out a frustrated sigh, and unknotted his eyebrows unto something more subtle and relaxed. That reassured me, too.

"You know, I was just looking for you. Coincidence?" He just stared at me as if contemplating whether or not he was going to actually hit me, I felt his hand lift again then settle back beside my face. I hope he would not hit me, I don't think that'd be good for me, as my sense of direction was already off.

"You're unbelievable, you know that you damn cow?" He stated incredulously, and rather harshly at me. I don't really like it when Kyo yells at me, he looks so angry, and I don't want him to be angry with me, especially if I am trying to help him.

"You can get off me if you want," I said with impartially, "normally I wouldn't mind, but my back is on a really hard ro—"

"Just shut the hell up before you say something else stupid," he demanded as he stood up from me, and began dusting himself off. I lied there, looking up to him with a somewhat mused look on my face as I contemplated how sleepy he looks.

Hey, he's wearing shoes. Does this mean he feels better? I hope that was enough time, because I was getting edgy.

Then I wondered, I don't know why he was always so mean for, and after all I was just trying to look out for him.

When I had finally stood up, I began to look at him, analyzing him as he mumbled various obscenities, when then I shoved my hand into my pocket, remembering the one thing I wanted to share with him.

"I brought some music, Kyo," I said as I took out the mp3 player, untangling the earphones with one hand, "last time you said you didn't listen to music."

"I said it was stupid…" he stated as he stared off the opposite direction of me. There was a hint of vexation in his tired voice.

"Actually," I stated dully, " you said it was a waste of time, Kitty" correcting the otherwise aloof and standoffish cat. Hey, he let me call him Ki--

"And don't call me Kitty, I'm not some damn kitten!" he hissed, continuing his tone of vexation toward me. I then noticed how raspy it sounded, hoarse as if he had been crying. I wasn't going to get discouraged though, I could always call him Kitty in my head.

"I wanted you to hear some of it, maybe you'd like it if you gave it a chance," I said as I took a step towards him. I watched him as he folded his arms tightly together, and leaned his back against a tree as if trying to restrain himself from hitting the nearest object- which is me. I hope he wouldn't hit me, because though I am used to sparring with him I know that will do little to help his frustration.

"I don't wanna listen to any of that crap," he said as he stepped away from the tree and began to walk. Ouch, the kind of hurt. I think maybe if he enjoyed some music he wouldn't be so angry all the time, and I'd like to entertain the idea that I have nice taste in music. He wasn't giving in though.

"If you wanna come to the mutts house, follow me, but keep your damn distance, you're annoying as it is," and then Kitty let me follow him the whole way. Maybe he's not nearly as abrasive as I thought. I did notice a sudden change in his demeanor, however, he sharply turned around when he saw I was following him to his room.

"The hell you following me for, don't you wanna go kiss that rats ass?" He said as if he couldn't believe I've taken a likeness to him. I frowned just a little, and he rolled his eyes at my sudden gesture. "Fine, do whatever, just don't say anything stupid."

"Are you going to listen to any of my music?" I asked nonchalantly as I sat in the corner of his room- I knew he wasn't going to let me sit on his bed this time. In my head I was really imploring him to listen to it. It would make Kitty less tight if he enjoyed regular things instead of beating up people all the time on the regular basis.

I looked around his room and notice how icy it felt, and though it was a rather warm and humid day, his room had an icy airiness about it, and it felt so god-awful dark inside of it. Everything felt so depressing. His room, not to mention, was in a upheaval of a mess with clothing all over the floor, his dresser drawers opened miscellaneously. The only thing comforting about his room was the dim glow of the curtains as they shut out any mentioning of sunlight.

I watched him as he sat on his bed, putting his palm on he forehead in stress. Was I really that bad? I mean, if he took the time to actually get accompanied by me, then he'd see I wasn't all that he misconstrued me to be. Maybe if I got him to talk to me about what was bothering him, he wouldn't be so—

"Why do you wanna be around me all of the sudden?" Somewhere in the past, I sure he asked a question very similar to this one, and I'm sure I answered it.

"Do I need a reason?" I asked placidly. If there was a hint of compassion in my voice, it flew out of his other ear because he didn't seem to like that answer. He didn't seem to take in what I said because he just flopped on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. "Kyo," I said, making sure I got his attention, and he just turned his head to my direction, still looking stressed and apprehensive. "You still mad about what happened? With Yuki and Tohru an-"

"What the hell makes you think I would talk to you about it?" He said quickly, a sudden flare of anger overtook his body language. I suppose I should understand, because Yuki turned me down so many times, I surmise that's why this didn't sting so much when I figured it all out.

[Kyo]

For a long time, I sat there in perpetual silence, miserable, and apprehensive toward the bovine. I didn't know how to hide it, all my emotions displaying on my face and the scenery of my room- thinking quietly the events that has happened in my life, everything I've done, every turn I've taken, the wrong path or a mistake.

I can't remember the last time I was actually happy.

It's a shitty term really, happy, it has no place in my life. What fills up the hole in me is constant despair, sadness, anger, frustration- suffocation. I can't be tranquil, I can't be calm. My life is like a boat in thrashing waters against the sharp and jagged rocks- with every hope, every dream breaking and crushing on those ro--

"Kyo," Haru said impassively as he called to my attention. I didn't know what he was going to say, the damage was done, nothing more, and nothing less to be spoken. But he looked to me and strangely, a peculiar look into his storm-clouded gray eyes, that for a moment his eyes looked a little brighter than his regular deep colored eyes.

Perhaps I didn't notice it at first, but my emotions were seeping through to him through my body language, and I hadn't mean to of appeared weak, but I did. Damn it, I hate when I can't conceal this… I had hope that this heartache will be ephemeral…but it seemed so… interminable.

The hope of ever being happy was vain.

Then when I looked to him he looked as if he was in a reverie, a small smile played on his face as he looked to me, but subsided almost as fast as it came when he had seen me glace his general direction, but I had saw it, I knew it was there through the peripheral vision of my eyes. Why was he smiling at me? The sudden thought made me believe that he saw something good in me, that the good I thought was impossible to harbor in me was actually thriving. It was a smile like he admire something of me. I was so languid, yet so apprehensive and anxious, what was there to admire?

I wasn't about to tell that damn bovine any of my thoughts that pillaged the peace in my mind, and I knew he was insisting that I should. What the hell could that possible accomplish? Of all the things I could of told him, I choose to stay silent, no point in reliving that pain, that disappointment I felt when I saw Tohru coyly kiss Yuki on the lips on that cool night. No, fuck that, I'm not trying to remember it all in the clear detail that I do.

"To cage yourself up… would hurt yourself and those around you," he said that just barely audible, as if he wasn't even talking to me. I didn't really understand it, but my cat senses are keen and I picked up every single… sad word. And those around you, who was those people that were going to be hurt by my miserable life? No one-

"Saddest thing of it all… is that you don't even want to know who they are…" he said quietly to himself, and it was even less audible than what he said prior. Then I realized, he wasn't even talking to me at this point, but to himself about me, and those around you he was referring to himself.

I felt his dark storm-colored eyes look toward me once more, but I wasn't going to meet his gaze, I didn't want to acknowledge that he was sad because I was sad, I didn't want to acknowledged that he did care for me more than anyone else right now. I didn't want to seem like I had heard him, because I was utterly speechless.

But I hated how he could analyze me so damn good with those deep depressing storm-clouded eyes of his.

It's like how he figured how I was depressed at the knowledge that Tohru and that rat, without me having shone a sign of liking her beside in my thoughts, and he just came and opened my mind like a children's book and read it aloud to himself. But knowing what and who was upsetting me would make anyone wonder why he kept insisting that I talk to him if he already knew. Tell him what? My feelings and thoughts of--

"You look thin, Kyo," he stated as he looked at me. I haven't eaten in so long… so long that my hunger pangs gave up, they don't even seem to work anymore. If I wasn't going to be docile toward it's beseeching of me to eat, then why even try? I couldn't eat anything Tohru cooked, I couldn't eat anything anyone cooked.

Maybe that's really why I've been so damn weak, perhaps it wasn't the rain… however,

I hate the rain.

I watched as Haru picked up a messenger bag, something I've not notice him bring with him. "I thought you weren't eating, from my last visit," he said, as he began looking through his bag and walking toward me simultaneously, "I suspected it was because she was cooking it," then he finally brought out some kind of plastic container, with the contents of food. I could smell it, and it smelt nice, but I knew I wouldn't be able to taste any of it.

He tried to give it to me, though.

"Damn it Haru… I don't wanna eat…" I said imperceptibly. Tohru's been pleading me with her large brown eyes to eat, but at each time, I refused. All this, and I've never told her what's been making me this way, for all she knew it could very well be the rain. What would telling her accomplish? It'd make her feel like shit, but it's not like I'd want to hurt her. In fact, I've not told anyone, but I'm sure that damn Yuki knows.

Haru put the food down beside me and he sighed heavily as if all was in vain. It wasn't often he sighed in frustration since he was so stoic and impassive about everything. Because how unusually nonchalant he is, and how little things bothered him so long as he was White Haru, it made him seem very mature for a sixteen year old. If I wasn't such a hard-ass I would appreciate all this, and I do, but it's not like I was going to act as if I needed nursing to.

"When it stops raining, do you want to go for a walk," he said impassively, yet quietly, just audible enough for me to barely notice it. I probably should take him up on his offer, the only time I got up to do anything so far this summer has been to shower, and sleep.

"I…" I was too tired, honestly, and I just closed my eyes. For the rest of my conscious moment I didn't hear Haru speak, but at the same time I never felt his weight leave the bed as he sat there. My eyes felt cumbersome even as they were closed, but I kept trying to open them until I wafted off to a darkened haze…

[Haru]

I felt as stubborn as an ox not to leave his side, no matter how unnecessary I was. He doesn't know this, but he needs someone to make sure he's getting better. Of course being as stubborn as he is, he'd never admit to it. I'm being that someone, since I'm the only one who cares thus far.

I want to be there when he smiles.

I suppose that watching him sleep wasn't so bad after all, it wasn't as if I had any real objective to accomplish today besides tending to him. It was heart shattering though, he looked just as sad as he did awake, I could perceive as much.

I moved toward him enough so that I sat very near his face, took off my gloves, and I touched his hair. It was becoming harder and harder to sustain myself from admiring him. He was so handsome in my eyes, and his hair was far more softer than it looks, and so easy to run my fingers through it. I did it adroitly enough so as not to wake him. Something tells me it wouldn't be easy to wake him up anyway. He looked so tired all the time, like just thinking about Tohru and Yuki was enough to drain all his energy alone.

I think it did.

When did I fall in love with Kyo? I could hardly remember… if was as if one day I gave up on Yuki, and Kyo was the first person I saw… Here he was, someone who needed someone, and I just know I could make him happy if he had just let me.

I began to feel his soft skin, haha. Who would of thought Kyo to have one of the softest skin ever? The skin was so warm under my fingers in contrast to the iciness of the room, relaxed, but still sad. In a twisted way, he still looked gorgeous, and delicate. Another part of me wanted to be on Kyo's warm, yearning, moistened lips, but instead I used my thumb to touch his lips gracefully…

It felt so nice.

I sighed louder than I likely should have, then stood, walking toward the window to watch the rain fall down. The downpour was exceptionally much, I've never seen it rain so heavily in my life. With watching the rain fall I begin to wonder why its been raining so much… but I suppose it would pose too much irony to be sunny.

Oh well, I'm going to spend the night here it seems, there's no point in making Hatori drive out in this weather. I hope Kyo wont mind me laying beside him, because I was becoming so tired too…

There was enough space on the bed for me to lay down beside him, and chances are that I'd wake up before him, so there was a slim-to-non opportunity that he'd even know.

There was a lot of effort holding me back from nuzzling up to him, I knew as much that I wouldn't at least get away with that.

I stared up to the ceiling, thinking of how Yuki and Tohru were now one. It's funny, I always knew it would be those two, and not Tohru and Kyo- not because there was anything wrong with Kyo, Yuki had more charm. Yuki always had someone swooning over him, but I wasn't swooning over him anymore.

There was a point I had to give up. The sudden realization of that stung so bad in my heart, the way it had when I had given up on Rin, but I picked up the pieces of my heart and sewn them together as I had once before.

There was another person that could make me happy, I don't know why I feel as if Kyo's that person, considering how harsh he was, but…

I like suppose I like cats after all.

'Specially orange ones, those have got to be a rarity.

I felt Kyo's warm breath caress the right side of my face when I had lied down beside him, he exhaled loudly in his sleep but it was so soothing to me that I wondered if he could purr. The thought of that sent me smiling, taking grasp of his unusually soft hand and falling unto rest.

[Kyo]

When I woke up, I still felt a hazy fog in the head, and I knew before I could register the raindrops falling outside that it was still raining.

I felt something holding my hand, and squeezed it just gently. I felt all the rings on the fingers, the metal was warm against my intertwined fingers as if its been there for so long while the owner sleep beside me… What the hell? I could smell the gentle boyish scent that Haru usually worn, but the damn rain made me so effing weak I couldn't pull my hand from his, in fact the only thing I could do was probably move slightly so that maybe it'd wake him up.

That damn cow, the hell he think he is, holding my hand?!

"Haru, wake the hell up!" I tried to yell as my vision slowly began to clear from the hazy mess of a blur. I could see him laying beside me, on his side, with my hand to his chest. This gesture was perplexing on its own, but what really confused the hell out of me was what it seemed it could of meant. Was the reason he's been paying me so much attention…

Because he likes me?

The very thought alarmed the shit out of me-- I seen the way Haru used to kiss up to that rat ass, does that mean he'll be that way it me? Oh shi-

I don't think I could deal with this in my state, and the thought of having to tell Haru I wasn't interested sort of broke my heart. I felt like I could shoot my brains out at the thought of refusing him.

"Haru, wake up!" I repeated louder, but I just felt so weak that I'm not sure he'd heard it.

I watched him move slightly, hoping that his little movement would untwine our hands from one another, but it was futile…

I looked to the clock, I could see the time, and it read twelve thirty nine in the morning… He wasn't going to wake up, and I don't think I had the damn potency to stay conscious myself.

….

When the morning had come, I woke up, not nearly as weak as I was before, and that must have been because the sun was shining brightly onto my face. I sat up on my elbows, realizing that my hand was actually free, but where the hell was Haru?

Oh, there he is…

Watching him stand in front of the window, I took noticed at how the sun shone on his pale skin and hair, it made him look wraithlike… in an ethereal like way… I've never seen his hair look so bright before, almost hurt to look at it because the sun had such a strong reaction to the shiny and silvery white part of his hair.

There it was, his eyes looked to me so brightly, glazed over like he was still in a reverie.

What the hell was he even watching anyway? What could be so interesting? More over, why the hell was he still here? Sure, his stay here has grown on me, and strangely, and his eyes were imploring me to look back into his, and I felt myself trance into its spell. I never felt so opened, so raw in my life.

It didn't really bother me anymore…

So long as he didn't leave this gaze, so long as he captivated me in his eyes, keeping me under his spell, his trance, he was the puppet master, commanding me to let it go. I felt free. It's ineffable to explain what his eyes were doing to me, but it was as if a cool breeze floated onto bare skin in the hot sun, or like that of a warm breath on my li--

Haru had kissed my lips before I could even registered how close he had gotten to me. I was in such a equal and lost trance that he walked to me with ease…

His lips were gentle against mine, his kiss coyly tempted my lips in returning the gesture. It was the his warm breath that came from him when he exhale that made me push further unto his lips…

I felt his lips brush against mine again as I closed my eyes, I felt his ring-ornamented hand gently cup my face as he pressed closer onto my lips. He lips danced slowly with mine, and strangely I felt how to return his kiss with my rhythm the likes of his own. I felt him take my bottom lip in between his own two lips and gently suck them…

Wait, Haru's kissing me!

My eyes flashed open wide as I pushed his heated body away from mine, watching him as he stumbled back and fell onto the floor, his back against the wall. I couldn't really read his expression, save for the fact it held so many different emotions, confusion, sadness, yearning, rejection, apprehension- I've never seen so many words on the stoic, apathetic, listless face that is Haru.

For a moment I had felt that I broken the younger teenager with my sudden and off-putting reaction, but he didn't take up to leave, he just sat there looking at me with saddened eyes as I looked at him with fading shock.

"I'm sorry, Haru," I muttered under my breath, and I could tell that he had heard it because he looked downward onto his lap and let out a sigh. I didn't know what it was that I was feeling, in my mind words and ideas kept colliding together, the formation of new actualities and such explode whenever it is that I attempt to grasp at them. And Haru, he was so quiet in that disposition, I had just wish he'd say something, but his gloomy eyes weren't going to meet mine because he didn't want me to see… him cry.

It was hard to notice at first, because he had pulled his knees up, wrapped his arms around them, and rested his forehead onto his knees, completely cutting me off. But I could tell by the way his body trembled every so often, or when he let out that shaky breath he's been holding…

I stood up from by bed, and dragged myself over to him. It wasn't that I was reluctant, but nowadays I've been so without energy it's been hard to do anything. I sat down beside him, and I felt him stiffen as I did so.

I don't know how long it's been quiet, but its been so damn god-awful long.

This is what I was afraid of, hurting him with rejection.

Tat tat tat

I heard the rain break through the sky as the wind blew lazily, picking up, drowning the earth with its heavy downpour.

I hate the rain.

And right now, this seemed like awful timing on natures behalf. By now, Haru was staring impassively toward him at the wall, never turning to me to see how distress filled my ruby-colored eyes. I had wondered, what was it that he was thinking?

[Haru]

I wasn't upset with Kyo, but with myself. I had brought this unto myself, whether if it was because I was so sudden, or because I could never be in comparison to Tohru.

Right now he was sitting beside me, I didn't have to look at him to feel the regret radiating off of his warm body, but the fact he cared enough to settle next to me was comforting enough.

I stared hard at the darkened wall before me, dark with the rain pouring abrasively on the earth outside. I wont give up. That's what I decided in my head, I'll still be there for Kyo until he made it clear my presence was absolutely unwanted, and until then, I will continue loving that stubborn cat as much as I do now.

It's strange how much Kyo and I have in common. From being stubborn, to being contentious, to standing out. My past isn't nearly as dark as Kyo's, but strangely I feel as if I can relate to that, and there's so many things I wish I can make him forget… I'm trying so hard.

"Kyo," I said loudly, I think the sudden call of his name startled him because the only thing audible was the rain. I felt him look at me, content that I seemed like I was my regular self though he didn't really show it, "let me in, let me get pass this wall you've built so high," I said casually. I met his gaze, penetrating him with my eyes and I know he felt it because he turned his head and stared at the same wall I've stared at so long.

He's holding his breath, as if fighting a battle in his conscious.

"You got a way with things, you damn cow," he said with a tiny smile gracing his face, but then it faded away as he looked to me with his deep red eyes. For once, I didn't see sadness or anger, frustration, suffocation on his face, I saw him. I never seen anyone look so sincere in my life, the way he looks at me, and it was now that whatever was cumbersome on his heart, it lifted, I could almost physically see it.

It was amazing.

I felt awestruck, losing myself in his now soft eyes… He didn't have to say anything to me, because I knew he had already built a ladder for me to climb that tall wall, and I leaped over the other side. It was as if I was physically over that wall, because his eyes were so meaningful to me, and if I was in love with him then, I was more than in love with him now.

"Kyo," I found myself muttering his name, "tell me everything you've never told anyone before," it was a whisper, but I am sure he had heard me.

I watched him as he turned to that very same wall ahead of us and stared at it long and hard, but the length he stared unto that was seemed incessant. He took a large inhale, and exhaled it a few seconds later, running his fingers through the flaming tresses on his head, and for a long time he hadn't spoken a word…

"Haru…" He had stated quietly, but I implored him with my eyes, urging him to persist. "I'm the Cat, the most cursed of the Zodiac. It's… it's a feeling of disappointment to come to this realization when I think of all the ones I've hurt in the process because of it…" I watched as he lifted his arm, revealing a beaded bracelet, every other bead black with white ones in between.

"Kyo, you're not a monst--"

"Yes, Haru, I am. I was the cause of my mothers death, and hearing all those people… feeling all those people completely isolate themselves from me, I felt it was too light of a punishment."

I saw the pain over power his eyes, quivering as if trying to prevent the tears from falling down onto his tanned skin- hot and fresh. He turned away before one could dare fall in my sight. My eyes fell back unto his bracelet that wrapped itself around his wrist as if it had the right.

"I had heard it all my life, it didn't matter if it was from Akito, or the villagers, I was disgusting, I was a monster, and until finally I started to hate myself because of it because I am disgusting, I am a monster…" Kyo's voice had gotten so weak, and I watched him clench his fist so tight that it grown pale. His breathing began to hitch, unsteady, weak… his breathing was becoming strained as he tried so hard not to cry.

"Kyo," I found myself saying gently. I wanted him to continue, but at the same time I wanted him to cry. It's essential that he doesn't bottle up all the time… It's okay to be weak sometimes, and that's why I was here. Before I knew what I was doing, I had pulled him in a embrace, but unlike so long ago he wasn't nearly as rigid as before. He was relaxed into it, clenching my shirt, I felt him sob into my chest…

"I'm… I'm nothing… nothing more than… a… monster…" Those words stung me, it was the worst feeling I've ever felt in my life. Here he was, a fragile seventeen year old boy, still taunted by the words of so long ago. I rested my head on top of his as he sobbed into my chest before I found the courage to say the words I've known he's been yearning to hear all his life…

"Kyo, you're not a monster," I said gently, gently, my own voice weak with tears threatening my burning eyes. "It was never your fault, Kyo, stop believing that you stupid cat," my embrace on him grew tighter, holding him closer to me as he broke down into so many pieces.

"I should… have known it was impossible…" He said muffled against my chest, holding back his sobs.

"What's impossible," I asked, quietly but with a hint of curiosity in my voice. He stopped crying for a moment, but he never moved from my now wet-shirted chest. I could feel the rush of cool air on me as he inhaled, and the hotness of when he exhaled…

"That someone could… love the Cat," and it was at this that I had pulled him away, gripping his shoulders and searching wildly into his eyes, which were so weak, gloomy, frightened... So many words…

"Kyo…" I said in almost a whisper. How could he think that when I was right here, consoling him, telling him that it wasn't his fault? How could he think no-one loved him, when he let me on that other side? How could he believe that when I had kissed him? How could he dare say that when I held him in my arms and cried with him? How could… he be so blinded by the past when all the things he was yearning for, I was more than willing to give him with myself? What I felt was ineffable to say to him in words. "Kyo, don't you believe that I…" I couldn't finish for the fact that shock was washing over me with a sudden bitter anger toward that cat.

"I… I'm going to go now," I found myself saying, and as I stood, Kyo looked down at the floor. Without further words, I left.

[Kyo]

It had been so long since I had sat at breakfast with Tohru, Yuki, and Shigure, and I was so damn hungry I ate anything they could give me. Even then, the leeks tasted so good in my stomach, there was no room for discrimination as I ate my food without utensils. Yuki had muttered something about me being distasteful, and him losing his appetite, Shigure and Tohru just watched in amazement. Once I was full, I felt a wave of anger come over me as everyone stared at me.

"Well if you haven't ate in god knows when you'd be eating this damn way too!" I yelled out of frustration and agitation.

I was starting to feel like my old self, well a little less gloomy over the fact of Tohru and Yuki being… a thing. I'm not sure when I got over it, but somewhere along the lines, I did, and God did it feel great to not be locked up in my cold, icy room.

I even found the time to clean up the haphazard mess that was all over the place up there. Somewhere along the lines, I thought, how the hell did I go through all the many things that's all over the floor if I slept most the time. The thought nearly made me laugh aloud.

It had also stopped raining, too, which is good because now I've got my energy back. You never know how important something is until you lose it, that much I can attest to.

But the one thing I missed most was Haru's frequent visitations. No matter how much I try to hide it, I have to admit he's grown on to me, and without him I felt so empty… It's been a whole week without him, and I began to wonder when I'd see him again…

He told me I wasn't a monster.

He said it wasn't my fault.

He held me, reassured me…

I let him inside my mind, my thoughts, my cage…

He… he even kissed me.

My view of Haru was changing in my head every time I thought of the damn bovine, and when he had left me that day, I knew I said something that angered him, though I'm not sure what it was… He was still sincere in my eyes, but I was becoming impatient, and I wanted, no, needed to see that schizo again.

"Kyo," I heard Tohru's voice interrupt my thoughts as she stood before me, inquiring me with her large brown eyes. I looked to her with a dubious look, trying to configure in my head what it was that she wanted.

"Whaddya want?" I found myself asking after a long pause of her just gawking at me.

"Would you like some more?" she said humbly. I was full, there was no need for me to eat anymore. I simply refused with a gesture of my head before she smiled and went off into the living room with that damn rat, who was getting corrected in their activities on how to make paper cranes. If that's what a relationship is, it must be god-awful boring. In a sense, I was lucky I wasn't with Tohru for the fact I'd never be able to embrace her when she's sad, or hold her just to tell her how much I loved her. Yuki's going to have to just yearn to be able to do that.

That's the big downside to this curse.

But I can't think of anything necessarily positive about it either.

The only way you could sustain a relationship is if you're either with your family member, or if your with the same gender as yourself-- but at least they were only your cousin, right? And if you prefer… your gender… then…

Aside from those thoughts, I kept finding myself wandering about Haru, why the hell hasn't he been here yet? And like magic there was an impatient knock at the door, to which Yuki offered to get before the troubled Tohru made any effort to move. When Yuki had opened the door, few words were exchanged before he looked to me surprised, backed up, and a tall, pale, two-toned hair boy walked into the house.

I folded my arms, now he makes his appearance.

He wore a long white coat that furred at the collar, the sleeves' end, and the trims (probably fake fur), and under the coat he wore a black skin tight tank, "leather" (which wasn't real leather for obvious reasons) boots over black, skin tight jeans. Need I point out the abundance of jewelry, chains, and other accessories he wore?

I sighed subconsciously as he walked up to me, greeted me with his otherwise empty eyes and blank stare, and I think I may have stared back at him, as intent on winning this as he was.

"Kyo," He said impassively.

"Haru," I said, mimicking his lack of emotion. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me half way across the living room where Yuki was getting directions on how to make paper cranes, but he was distracted by Haru and my little display. I pulled from Haru's grasp before he could haul me even further, flipping him an annoyed glare and asking "what the hell do you think you're doing?" I asked him accusingly. I placed my hand on my hip and waited for a much-too-long overdue response.

"We're going for a walk," he stated as if I had no jurisdiction over any of it. Well isn't that something, the damn cow thinks he owns me- in this relationship I'm the bos--

RELATIONSHIP? Did I HONESTLY just THINK that?!

That just even made me more agitated as I turned around, ensuring that no-one would see the blush that was skulking onto my tan skin. "Says who? You don't control me!" I yelled at him, not meeting his gaze. There was silence, as everyone's eyes were on us two, even the dog managed himself be vigilant from his office. I felt a stern hand grab my shoulder, jerking me from my position, and I nearly stumbled over if it wasn't for my reflexes I'd've fell. A look of surprise was on my face--

"Kyo. Now." There was no playing or foolishness in his voice, however, by the lack of "fuck" in his sentences I'm sure it was safe to assume that he wasn't Black Haru. His authoritative voice made me consciously beg the question of who the hell does he think he is anyway? Telling me what to do as if I was just going to stand there an be docile!

"I ain't gotta listen to you? Who the hell do--" then his hand clasped over my mouth and with the other I could feel him wrap his arm around my waist, and carry me out of the damn house, earning several discomfited glances from the other household dwellers.

I did struggle in his grasp but as tight and strong he was holding me, it was a puny effort until that is he finally let me go at some place outside- a place in the forest I have strong reasons to doubt he'd could get back to Shigure's house from.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?!" I screamed so loud that the birds flew through from the trees with much fright in their flight. The audacity of that damn bovine to literally force me out of the house was so appalling that I could have kicked his ass if it wasn't for those eyes of his, putting me in a languid trance like it has before.

Something about them was so… enticing, that all he had to do was stand there silent, and I could stare off into them forever…

I didn't know precisely what it was I was doing until I actually did it. I had walked toward him and backed him into a tree, our faces but three or four inches apart-- somehow he was controlling me, making me lean toward into his lips but I stopped… however when he spoke I could feel his lips gently brush up against my own. At least, however, my body still held a sense of self-control, that is, I didn't kiss him.

Did I even like him?

"Why'd you stop," it was the words he spoken, the words that I felt his soft lips brush against my own with. The question was a simple one, yet with such a strong meaning. Why did I stop? I could tell, also, he was insisting that I join our lips together. He was going to force me to make this move, and it wasn't as if he had to put much endeavor into it because I felt my body push onto his as I place my hand on the side of his face before muttering something along the lines of damn cow and perverted fucker.

But his warm breath against my lips were imploring me, and those storm-cloud colored eyes that often held nothing for once had a look of anticipation. I was anticipating this too, but it felt so damn weird.

I noticed how soft his cheek was against my palm, and he leaned into it gently too, taking his own gloved hand and putting it against my own face. Looking into each others eyes, again I felt naked under his gaze, raw, but freed- entrance as he enchanted me with his warm body emitting a somewhat pleasant and desirable amount of heat unto me.

I subconsciously leaned into him, so much that my lips were graced with his. I intertwined my lips with his soft pale pink ones, and I felt him get slightly weak under it. I would have never imagined Haru in this weak, girly disposition, the fact he was letting control this kiss was amazing. The sense of dominance I felt was phenomenal.

With my free hand I sudden wrapped my arm around his waste and pulled him inward, as close as I could get him, but no matter how much closer I got to him, I wanted him more so than possible.

I should have known Haru wouldn't let me stay in control for very long, the impatient ox pushed me onto the ground. This sudden abrasive mood had me wondering whether or not this was Black Haru or White Haru, but when he gave me that wicked smile, I started to think I was in for more than I could manage.

He came on top of me and took both of my hands, roughly, he placed them above my and started to attack my lips rather viciously, in the sense of the word, so much that they must be bruised. I couldn't complain, the sudden change from softness to aggressive was feeling good, however I'm sure he wanted far more than just that, being Black.

I flipped him over and I could attest to the surprise that flashed through his face as he tried to figure out how it was that I did that. Cat's have a tendency to be lithe.

"What has got you in such a damn state?" I inquired, lifting my eyebrow as I watched Black Haru slowly leave and White Haru take consciousness. He had a smirk on his face, no doubt the position did seem assuming, but I wasn't going to say anything.

"What happened to your lip?" He asked in a somewhat mused voice, as if he had a strange recollect of everything that's happened. I'm not going to fiddle with him on that idea of his, but instead I just sat there.

Who knew that Haru was so pleasant to be on?

I gave Haru an aggressive kiss, sucking his lower lip in a way he had mine, ensuring that I'd bruise his almost as much as he had bruised mine- of course I didn't anticipate the little noise of pleasure that came from him when I did so.

"Damn Cow," I said pleased. When have I became okay with kissing him like that, that's what frustrated the hell out of me, but the way he reacted was as if it was normal, as if we've done this so many times before. To be honest, that cow was the first person my lips ever touched.

In a way, I suppose he deserved it. He's been there for me when I felt like utter shit. But does this mean I like him? The last thing I want to do is play around with his head, so I had better figure this shit out before it gets de--

He had pulled me in an embrace.

I could hardly noticed his arms crept around my waste, but when they did I was forced unto him with the soft, caring embrace of his. Haru was peculiar, that much I could figure, I think this would be the second time he's embraced me while I assumed a dominant position over him.

I guess this was his way of making me submit unto him.

I held my breath for a while, being in that embrace made me feel weird, and I felt a sense of… belonging. For once, I felt as if I belonged somewhere. It was amazing, that feeling. That was the weirdest thing among all the kissing, consoling, and such, which is weird how fast I let those things go.

The damn bovine grew on me.

[Haru]

The way Kyo was acting with me, the way he wasn't as startled as last time, it made me feel… wanted. I was so overwhelmed with happiness that he had not rejected me, that it was him who insisted upon me- but something tells me it didn't show on my face, hardly anything does.

I held him as close as I could to my heart for various reason, but for now the prominent reason was to show him what I've been trying to show him which was that it isn't impossible to love the cat. I had made the proposition of my love quiet clear, at least I thought, but he had battered it with those words, that for a moment I thought he was going to lock me out again.

That's why I left.

I wanted to leave before it dawned onto me that he thought I would be like everyone else, but now I think he knows better. Now, I think it is lucid to him, that I care for him- I debunked that incredulous idea of his.

He was silent, but I inquired, "you still believe it's impossible to care for the cat?" I felt him hold his breath, as he often did whenever it came to deep thoughts of his. I felt him rest his head under my neck before he let out a swift sigh. His eyelashes ticked my neck whenever he blinked them, but that made me realize that since his sense of mobility was back he must of came to some conclusion.

"What I said has no relevance now," Like hell it didn't.

"Sure it does, I'm holding you, doesn't that say anything?" My words were as impassive as usual, and that's what probably made the idea seem so elusive to him, but the fact still stands strong that I do care for him, and the fact that I still have to endeavor to convince him is telling me he's never even had close to a friend. My thoughts were dispersed at his answer--

"I… I suppose I don't believe in it anymore," he whispered quietly against the flesh of my neck. I smiled gently as the realization dawned on me that he didn't feel entirely alone anymore. It felt amazing that he was letting me hold him this long, that is until he sat up and laid down beside me in the grass. "I suppose that's why your crazy ass stormed off last time, eh?" he questioned, looking at me apologetically.

"I didn't storm off," I stated placidly, as I looked at him with my finger moving the bit of hair that covered his tranquil ruby-eyes.

It's such a rarity to see him at peace, I couldn't, however, forget the heartbreak I felt when I seen him in such a pitiful state… He looked as if he could kill himself. I hope he wasn't feeling suicidal. I know what it's like to not be able to feel loved when you see the one you loved everyday.

"So?" He said suggesting, I didn't know what it was he meant-

"So?" I repeated with a hint of quizzical in my voice. He just looked up to the sky and sighed heavily as if he just got over the biggest hurdle in his life.

"What the hell does this mean?" He didn't turn to meet my inquiring gaze, he just kept looking toward the clouds that indolently went by.

"You mean us?" I questioned. Before he could react I had crept so close up beside him that I brought my head onto his chest, his eyes widening with surprise at the sudden affectionate gesture. I think it was clear what I thought of it, but what does he, I wondered.

"Damn you Haru," I had heard him mutter as the heat rose onto his face, almost did his cheeks matched his red eyes.

"Well?" I questioned him as he still gazed at the clouds going pass. To me, there was nothing fascinating about them, they were just there, so why was he gazing so intently at them.

Thump thump thump…

I smiled as I finally heard what I had been looking for, his heartbeat. It was strangely more comforting that I had anticipated, then I lifted up my head to meet his gaze… such a alluring look in his eyes made me a little dizzy.

"What do you want me to say?" He questioned, lifting his eyebrow at me. What did I want him to say? I wanted to hear him say he was going to give us a go. I sighed an put my head back onto his chest, to be greeted once again with the insistent thumping of his heart. "Do I have to say it for you to understand?"

"No, but it would be nice to hear it," I said, as we spoke without having to actually clarify what it was I wanted him to say.

"I… I like you, Haru," he said reluctantly at first, but once he said it, he put his hand on my head, running his fingers through my hair lazily. I felt my own sense of reluctance grace my face as I smile. Anyone would of thought he was saying it just to please me, but hearing how rapid his heartbeat got when he said it… it was authentic. "Are you… are you listening to my heart beat?!" He had almost yelled incredulously as If mortified.

"Hmm," found myself humming the answer, feeling Kyo become less tense under me. We must of laid there for hours, silent, the afternoon sun was setting… and my eyes were so heavy… I fell asleep with my head on his chest…

My outlook on life suddenly became brighter, with images of Kyo and I.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

And with that, that's a close to chapter 1!

I will tell you, the other chapters will only be from 4-5 pages in length, not 22 pages (not double-spaced) like this was :3

Review please!