EXAAAAAM LEEEEEAAAAAVE!

It rocks.

Anyway, this is only one in a selection of cracked-out pairings that I have planned. And if you think this is crack, wait until you see some of the others. At least Gin and Rukia actually meet, and that is all I will say.

This is first person, as Gin talking to Rukia, so it is written entirely in his accent. If you find this difficult to read, the second chapter of this will be it written out without the accent, feel free to read either, both, or none at all I suppose, although why you clicked on it if you don't want to read it is a bit of a no-brainer XD

Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN. Want, though. And Gin better live ¬¬

The story becomes AU after the Rukia/Aaroniero incident. Up until then, it follows canon.

The Snake in the Snow

[Somehow, you were always out of my reach]

It's funny, ain't it, how thin's never seem t' go your way?

I've noticed that. I've been watchin' you for that long it's impossible t' miss.

Although even back then, right at the beginnin', I knew. You weren't so lucky as people like me – if I could be classed as lucky – or your illustrious brother, or even Hisagi, the model student of your time.

I'd seen you in the Academy in passin', when I'd walk through t' spy on Cap'n Aizen's 'hopefuls' – Momo, Izuru an' Renji. I'm not sure what it wa' about you that drew my interest, but interested I wa'. Though I wa' a Lieutenant an' you were jus' a student, in the normal class at that, both of us were from the Rukongai. I thought that perhaps there might be a connection there… Somewhere.

Then he came along. Lord Byakuya Kuchiki. He took you into his family without word or warnin', against the laws an' expectations of the Seireitei. I'd never had any interest in noble affairs beforehan', so the matter confused me somewhat until my Cap'n remarked on jus' how much you resembled Byakuya's deceased wife – Lady Hisana. A Rukongai girl, too.

It wa' then that I started t' realise you might be out of my reach.

Time passed, an' I took over the Captainship of Third Company just as your brother succeeded his Gran'father in Sixth. This put me in a rather unusual position – technically, I wa' of equal stan'in' t' your brother, but my birth – as it were – made me barely worth his attention. But you… What wa' I compared t' you? Worthy of a title, at least.

I would come an' talk t' your brother on occasion, testin' the waters, jus' idle conversation t' see how far I could go without bein' termed insolent. When you were there, you would look at me with fear in your eyes, an' never spoke t' me, not once. You saw me as an enemy, a frightenin' man t' be avoided at all costs. Perhaps I wa'. But I wished that, jus' once, you would meet my eyes.

"Hmm? Is your sister not with you, Cap'n Kuchiki?" I asked, walkin' up. He glanced up at me once, then continued walkin'.

"She has been sent on an assignment to the human world," he responded levelly, clearly not wantin' t' speak t' me but not wantin' t' appear rude.

"Oh?" I asked, my interest piqued. I knew tha' he kept you from assignments, an' had barred you from a seated position, all t' keep you safe. You didn' know that, though. You thought he hated you. "Where'd she get sent?" He gave me a cold look.

"Not that it is any business of yours, Captain Ichimaru… But she has been assigned to an area of radius one ri in Southeastern Karakura town." I raised an eyebrow. That wa' Japan, a suburb of Tokyo if I remembered correctly – when I'd been livin', I 'd lived in Osaka.

It wa' then that I remember that Cap'n Aizen had been baitin' that area with Hollows. There wa' somethin' there he wanted – the Hōgyoku. Wa' he tryin' t' use you t' get it?

"…Ah, right. Sorry, pokin' my nose in your business." I rubbed the back o' my head in what I hoped wa' a rueful gesture. "See you 'round, Cap'n Kuchiki." He scowled after me as I left, but I don' believe he ever really hated me all that much.

When you were brought back, I wa' more than a little upset. You sat in your cell despondently, not movin', not botherin' t' appeal. You didn' ask for help. You didn' fight back. You had changed from the Rukia I'd known.

I kept my distance. Partly on Cap'n Aizen's orders, partly 'cause I didn' wish t' see you so sad. You'd hurt the Ryoka boy – Ichigo. I found it hard t' believe that it wa' this alone that caused your sadness, so when they first broke in, I went t' meet him. I even got the go-ahead from Cap'n Aizen t' do it.

"Hmm? This won't do," I remarked, watchin' the Gatekeeper open the gate. I'd been stood there for several minutes listenin' t' what appeared t' be a rather one-sided battle, an' wa' beginnin' t' regret gettin' there earlier than planned. The Ryoka boy did talk so.

At least the gatekeeper seemed surprised – although not as surprised as he did when Shinsō took his arm off. But he had failed rather miserably, so it wa' deserved – an' Cap'n Aizen'd forbidden me t' let the Ryoka boy in that way. "You're a gatekeeper," I continued "A gatekeeper's job is t' guard the gate." He screamed, an' made the Ryoka look on in what could only be described as complete shock, seethin', an' the shockin' resemblance t' Kaien wa' instantly obvious. Perhaps his soul'd reincarnated in the boy. That would be cruel fate, for you t' meet him twice, an' hurt him twice.

The fear the other Ryoka showed wa' strangely satisfyin', although you'll probably hate me for thinkin' that. Nobody had feared me in the Seireitei for decades. I wa' only ever the evil one, the one wi' the strange smile.

It wa' somehow refreshin', t' be feared again.

"Wh-what did he do?" The Ryoka boy demanded, lookin' on in total shock. The Gatekeeper fell t' his knees, still managin' t' hold the gate up with one hand, which wa' rather impressive. Stupid, but impressive.

"Oh? You can still hold open the door? No wonder you're classed as one of the best," I remarked, not movin'. "But you still failed as Gatekeeper." He started t' spout some sort o' honourable nonsense, most likely taught t' him by little Tōshirō, who wa' a stickler for that sort of thin'. "No, you misunderstan'," I informed him cheerily. "A defeated Gatekeeper doesn't open the Gate." He seemed unable t' grasp this simple piece of information. "A defeated Gatekeeper… Dies," I finished, raisin' my sword t' do said job. The Ryoka boy flew in at a speed that could almost be classed as Shunpo, blockin' Shinshō quite effectively. We broke apart, an' the cat – wa' it Yoruichi? – gave him a talkin'-t' over even attemptin' t' fight me, which I found quite amusin'.

"Who the hell do you think you are, foxface?" The Ryoka boy demanded, aimin' his sword at me. My smirk deepened.

"That is Captain Gin Ichimaru!" The cat told him, tryin' t' turn him back.

"We won fair and square!" Ichigo continued, heedless of her warnin's. "Who the hell gave you the right to just show up and attack him, huh? If you think you're so good, fight me!" I sighed at his antics. "I'll rip you apart!" He growled, takin' up a fightin' stance. I decided t' humour him, since he wa' a very amusin' boy.

"You're an interestin' boy," I remarked. "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Hell no," he growled.

"Ichigo! Quit playing around!" The cat demanded. He turned an' started t' harangue her, an' I sighed softly. Time t' put an end t' their little game.

"So you're Ichigo," I remarked. "I wa' wonderin' if you actually existed." I turned away. Distance always impressed. "Well, then I certainly can't let you pass."

"Where the hell are you going?" He demanded. "You gonna throw that little short sword at me, huh?" I felt Shinsō's rage – he had always despised bein' belittled for his unreleased state.

Calm down, I told him. You'll get t' prove your point soon enough. "It's not a short sword," I told the Ryoka boy, aimin' it at him. "Shoot t' kill! Shinsō!" The release command wa' hardly necessary, angry as Shinsō was, an' the attack had the desired effect. Even if his sword managed t' prevent him takin' damage, both he an' the Gatekeeper were thrown back out into the Rukongai quite unceremoniously. Shinsō wa' still seethin' at the insult even as he withdrew back into his normal state. His friends ran over t' him, before turnin' back as the gate started t' close.

"Bye," I told them cheerily, wavin' at them as the gate wa' almost closed. He glared at me, the hatred clear in his eyes, but fear not evident. Either he wasn't afraid, or he wa' good at hidin' it.

I turned an' walked away as the gate slammed shut.

After establishin' that your brother would not be tryin' t' save you – an' havin' t' drag an angry Kenpachi away from him when he became angry with that decision – an' settin' Cap'n Aizen's plan in motion by makin' little Tōshirō suspicious of me at the meetin'… Not that he needed much persuasion… I set about trackin' the progress o' the Ryoka. I could not even dream of tryin' t' save you myself – such an act of betrayal would have made Cap'n Aizen cull me there an' then. I wa' no fool – I knew I wa' disposable.

So, whilst Cap'n Aizen concentrated on movin' up your execution date, an' plottin' an' carryin' out his 'death', I set t' work. I dropped hints that made there way t' Kenpachi about the Ryoka boy's strength, that he had survived even one of my attacks. I kept the sewers cleared, but made sure that Renji would know, one way or another, about the Ryoka boy's destination. Both were things I could give him t' make him stronger. From one o' the most powerful Lieutenants, t' what could in some ways be classed as the weakest Captain, both were experiences I knew would strengthen him. An' if they killed him, well, he wasn't worthy t' be your saviour, was he?

There wa' very little I could do 'bout Kurotsuchi, although I knew that the prospect of another Quincy an' a Ryoka with strange powers would draw him to them like a moth t' a flame. Still, I stayed in the background, quiet an' calm, an' watched them. Every time a Ryoka fell – first the Quincy, then the boy with the strange right arm – I made sure they were captured, not killed. I even enlisted Tōsen, the third party in our dance of deceit an' death, t' make sure of the fact with the Quincy. I believe simply the force of him releasin' his zanpaku-tō wa' enough t' knock the poor boy out. I have always disliked Tōsen. I disliked him more than even little Tōshirō disliked me, no mean feat, especially durin' those days. Still, desperate times called for desperate measures, an' at least if I told him it wa' Cap'n Aizen's wish, he would do it.

Up t' a point, my schemin' an' guidance worked. But there were always rogue elements. I had t' break Izuru out of his prison after his spat with Hinamori – not that said fight had been a surprise, the boy believed in duty more than he believed in breathin', an' breakin' him out of his cell wa' as good a way as any t' draw little Tōshirō out. Renji had also somehow got it into his head that he could defeat Byakuya. Stupid, foolish an' ridiculous. He had only recently achieved Bankai, an' it wa' large, unwieldy, slow an' still weak. He was, as Byakuya so eloquently put it, the monkey who reached for the moon. The stray dog who barked at stars. But I did know that Byakuya, in his own strange way, cared for Renji, an' wouldn't let him die.

You didn' know that, though.

I had only one little setback that I wasn't certain I could handle.

It wa' when your execution wa' moved up one more day, an' the Ryoka boy still wasn't ready t' face Byakuya – let alone stan' in the way of Cap'n Aizen, somethin' I wasn't certain he would ever be able t' do – that I became wary. So, as my supposedly dead Cap'n scoured the records of former Cap'n Urahara with avid interest, I used his distraction an' the chaos without t' slip away, an' go an' see you as you were led t' your execution on the Sōkyoku hill. I wa' well aware of the displeasure of the guards as I walked up t' you. I didn't care. I also wasn't entirely certain what I planned t' do.

But lettin' you die wasn't an option. Did you truly have t' be executed in such a manner? Cap'n Aizen always had a backup plan. I had options. I just wasn't sure which ones I dared t' take.

"Good mornin'," I greeted pleasantly. Your head wa' bowed, penitent an' weary, as though Izuru had struck you with his zanpaku-tō's Shikai. "How are you… Rukia?" It irked me that even the simple act of me sayin' your name wa' enough t' make you shudder inside. I could see it written plainly, all over your face. You radiated hatred an' repulsion. I wa'… Saddened by that.

"Gin…" You murmured. "…Ichimaru!" Your head snapped up t' meet mine, full of hatred still, the fierce, quietly simmerin' hatred of someone who wants t' end somethin', but is powerless t' do so.

"Such bad manners," I teased. "You have a rude mouth." I chuckled. "As always." You had never held much respect for authority, save for with your brother, who scared you. "It's not 'Gin'. It's Cap'n Ichimaru. Keep that up an' your brother will scold you." You never knew that I wa' teasin'. I suppose my voice wa' always so mockin', nobody ever realised. I wasn't the best at it, either, really.

"I'm sorry… Captain Ichimaru," you murmured. I sighed. As if it made a difference when you were bein' led t' your death. Perhaps you wanted any favour you could get. You knew the Ryoka boy would come, knew he would face your brother. You thought that he would lose, an' die like Kaien, cut at the hands of a Kuchiki blade.

But I had known Byakuya for over a hundred years, since we both passed through the Academy. An' I knew that if he had the option t' save your life without compromisin' his honour, he would take it. Just let the Ryoka boy become strong. That wa' all he – an' I – needed. For him t' achieve Bankai. For it t' be strong enough t' defeat a Cap'n of a noble house.

"Heh, did you think I wa' serious?" I asked. The guards were still glarin' at me, an' I smiled cheerily at them, which made them glare some more. It wa' an amusin' game t' play. "I won't tell him," I continued, not that he would care in the least what you called me, especially after what wa' due t' transpire. "We're friends, aren't we?" I finished. You looked at me with wary eyes.

"What…?" You replied. The idea of bein' friends with me wa' never somethin' you would even consider. You hated me. Still did. What wa' it you thought I wa'… A snake? Yes, a snake, slowly wrappin' around your neck, chokin' the life out of you.

Strange how nobody ever thought anythin' bad upon Cap'n Aizen.

"What are you… Doing here?" You asked, seemin'ly perplexed, just like your guards. I smiled.

"Oh, nothin' important," I lied. "Just thought I'd take a walk an'… Tease you a bit." You frowned. You still didn't believe there could be anythin' good in me. Well, maybe there wasn't, maybe there never would be, not the way I am now. But as Tōsen – foolish, ridiculous Tōsen – had said, t' rebuild anew you first had t' break down. An' you were breakin' me. You still are. The cracks are more visible now, though, than they were then. An' I wa' still too cowardly, then.

You looked away from me. Rememberin'. Your eyes still reflected displeasure, hatred, an' terror. You were scared of me – stupidly, paralytically afraid. I didn't remember you ever havin' been so afraid of me before, but perhaps you had just hidden it. "What's wrong? You seem distracted," I asked, attemptin' t' sound concerned but failin'. It would sound foreign in my voice, concern. I'd spent so long buildin' up my mask that it wa' almost impossible t' break, even now. Even for you.

"Forgive me," you murmured, head down. At least you didn't add a title on the end. I wasn't certain if it wa' some subconscious act of defiance, but it reassured me slightly.

The slightest flicker of a reiatsu in the distance reminded me of one of my reasons for visitin' you. Outside of the Repentance Cell, the various spiritual pressures from the entire Seireitei would have overwhelmed your repressed senses, but I could still tell.

"Oh, I almost forgot," I started. "It seems he's still alive. Renji, that is." You looked up at me in total shock, but there wa' hope in your eyes. At last, somethin' of who you had been wa' returnin'.

"What?!" You exclaimed, titles, names, everythin' forgotten in the face of the fate of your friend. I seized on that, tryin' t' brin' who you were back. That old fire, the defiance that I'd found so fascinatin'.

"So… He'll probably die soon," I continued. "Poor Renji. An' all because he tried t' save you." There – somethin', in your eyes. At least you were angry now. Angry at me, mostly, but it couldn't be helped.

"I don't believe you!" You exclaimed. "You're lying! Why would Renji…"

"Are you afraid?" I cut you off. Pullin', tuggin' at that spirit that wa' threatenin' t' be buried by the despair an' acceptance of death. I wanted that fire back. The old you. The you that pulled me in t' dangerous levels. The you I would give anythin' t' save. Because the pathetic, acceptin' doll that you had become meant nothin' whatsoever.

"Of… What?" You asked softly. I stepped closer – you had never let me get even this close t' you before. It thrilled me – an' chilled you t' the core.

"You don't want Renji an' the others t' die, do you?" I clarified. "When you fear for the lives of those you care about… Doesn't the thought of death suddenly become more terrifyin'?" I wa' takin' a risk, tellin' you that. I had always been afraid of death, for lots of different reasons. But tellin' you the finality behind it, lettin' you glimpse even that little part of me, it could lose me everythin'. Even my life. But I wanted you t' see – see that I felt the same way as you. Show you that the fear wa' acceptable, if you overcame it.

Not that I had done much t' overcome it. I had bowed t' Cap'n Aizen's will an' word, even though I had always seen him for what he wa'. I'd hidden my fear behind my permanent smile, instead makin' others fear me. But those that saw through my mask had such power over me, if only they knew it. They just didn't use it, if they knew.

Your noise of shock cut right through me. I met your eyes, an' I knew that you understood what I wa' tellin' you. For the first time, the only time, there wa' a connection between us. You, bein' led t' your death, an' terrified of leavin' the others t' an unknown fate. An' I, a puppet lookin' up at his master, in wait for his strin's t' be pulled, expendable, at constant risk of death, an' willin' t' risk everyone he loved hatin' him just t' keep them alive.

Neither of us could bear the thought of dyin'.

But more importantly, the old you wa' back. The fiery you. The vicious, defiant you who would challenge the sky for takin' somethin' from you. The you I wanted so badly t' save.

"Why don't I help you?" I asked, my voice a low whisper.

"What?" You whispered. I wa' even closer now. My blood wa' racin'. I could see you breathin' faster, but it could just have been from the fear, or even the shock of the offer. But I would do it. I would cut your chains an' take you away from everythin'-

Then I felt it. The angry pulse of a reiatsu that should have long since disappeared. My Cap'n. He wa' angry, an' angry at me. My betrayal. I had been so close… But with that one action, all my will disappeared. All my resolve crumbled into nothin'. I wa' only a fly in the face of his power. I could take you an' run, run away as far an' as fast as I could, but where would it get me? He would find us, he would take what he wanted, then he would wreak a bloody an' brutal revenge upon me until I begged for the death he would give me. An' you would still die. So I straightened up.

"C-Captain Ichimaru! What are you sayin'?" One of the guards demanded. What, indeed, I wondered t' myself. I couldn't offer you that. I couldn't offer you anythin'.

I wa' goin' t' have t' break you again. An' you were goin' t' hate me for it.

"Just kiddin'," I replied, even though it pained me t' say it. I patter your head – a touch that teased me as much as you. "Goodbye, Rukia. I'll see you at the Sōkyoku." I could see it in your eyes, in your face, in the way you moved, the exact moment when you shattered into pieces. It wa' before you fell t' your knees an' screamed in despair. It wa' the second I broke the contact our eyes had held. I had given you somethin' – a window into my own soul, an' a way out of death – then yanked it viciously away.

It took all the willpower I had t' keep my smilin' mask in place as I walked away from you.

But at least it wa' you, wonderful, defiant you, who had held my gaze, an' understood our shared pain without words.

Cap'n Aizen's displeasure wa' somethin' t' be greatly feared. I had known this for a very long time, since even before he had become a Cap'n. He had no need t' wrap me in illusions for me t' believe in his power. Those who stepped on t' his bad side felt the pain for it. This I had known. Yet still, I had believed, if only for a few precious moments, that I could defy him.

He wa' goin' t' show me how wrong I had been. I knew it. It wa' becomin' a tight knot of fear, twistin' an' coilin' within my stomach, wonderin' what he would do t' punish me for my waverin' of faith. I wa' afraid. So very afraid. Even more afraid, perhaps, than you had been, after I had been forced t' crush you into little pieces outside the penitence cell.

But from that, you rose, like a phoenix from the ashes. You had risen enough t' shout at the Ryoka boy for tryin' t' save you, even if it wa' with tears in your eyes an' a smile on your face. A phoenix like that which would be your executioner.

I'm a little upset that I wasn't there t' see it.

By the time I got t' the Sōkyoku hill, they were all there. Even you. Especially you. You seemed so small, so fragile, held in Renji's hands as you were. But your eyes still burned with fire.

Cap'n Aizen would put it out.

His strength, as I knew, as so few others realised, wa' that of a demon, not a man. Perhaps it wa' fittin', then, that he could use the demon arts, the Kidō, t' such a masterful degree. I watched, with a masterful effort goin' into maintainin' my mask. I could do nothin'. But at least I had saved you from yourself. At least I had done everythin' I could for you an' you friends, however little that wa'. At least I had tried. But I doubted you would see that in me. You would, I knew, see only the fox, the deceptive, cunnin' enemy who only wished t' hurt. You had looked into my eyes an' seen my true self. We had been so very close, as I touched your head, leaned in close, if only for a few seconds. But the distance between us wa' so large, so monstrous, that nothin' I said or did now would be able t' bridge it.

I wa' waitin' for the blade t' fall. For my punishment t' come. For Cap'n Aizen t' remind me of my place.

"Kill her… Gin," he ordered. That one order sent my whole body numb. That wa' my punishment. For thinkin' I could save you, I would have t' kill you. It would be my blade that ended your life. I hesitated, if only for a second or two, fleetin' moments, but Cap'n Aizen saw them. His power, an' that which he held over me, wa' crushin'.

I wa' so very afraid t' die at his hand.

"…Sure thin'," I replied, apparently at ease with it all. "Shoot t' kill, Shinsō!" My sword's spirit laughed at my weakness. But my aim wa' not quite true, this time, an' not even Cap'n Aizen noticed that, had Byakuya not appeared, my sword's Shikai would have struck the dirt, rather than your flesh.

My fear didn't matter any more, you see. No matter that he would likely kill Rangiku, my only friend, as well as me. No matter that someone else would finish you. I simply couldn't do it.

I should have relied on your brother, I suppose. No matter what happened t' him, he would always come runnin'. It wa' because of Hisana, I gathered. Because you were a part of his family now. He loved you, if not how he loved his wife but as the sister you were. He would never let you die. He wasn't afraid t' die. He never had been.

Wa' I weak, for bein' afraid?

Rangiku held me prisoner, Hisagi held Tōsen – his face wa' set, bitter at bein' used. But I could only look at you. You were worried for Byakuya, for the way Aizen had left the Ryoka boy nearly in pieces on the floor, for Komamura, who should have been killed, but wasn't. Despite all that, just once, you looked at me, an' I thought I saw understan'in' in your eyes. I might have been makin' thin's up, tryin' t' make myself feel better for the total, utter betrayal of you that I had committed, but I thought I saw it, at least.

Hueco Mundo wa' cold. Las Noches wa' cold. Everythin' wa' cold without those chance encounters. It wa' only after you were forced out of my life that I realised how much you had filled it, for someone I saw only rarely, an' who saw me as a snake.

So when you came with the Ryoka boy who wa' now a Substitute Soul Reaper, Ichigo, I instantly paid attention. Cap'n Aizen ordered the Espada t' their rooms, but I wasn't stupid enough t' believe that they would actually follow those orders. So I kept an eye on thin's. I spent a lot of time at the corridor controls – the fourth Espada, Ulquiorra, actually caught me there once. But he wasn't hostile t' me like the other Espada wa', didn't hate me for bein' a misfit, an outcast, Cap'n Aizen's supposed pet. He, too, saw somethin' of the truth, although he never knew it all. He simply didn' understand emotions enough. Perhaps Inoue opened his eyes a little on that one, but still, even now he doesn't really understand.

He still supported me over Cap'n Aizen, though.

Despite all my watchin' an' precautions – somewhat like the way I had guided them through the Soul Society, now I guided Ichigo an' the rest through Las Noches – I could not do enough. In my despondency I had failed t' account for the ninth Espada, Aaroniero's, ability t' absorb the appearances an' abilities of others. As such, a battle you should have won wa' hampered, an' I thought you were goin' t' die. I truly did. The fear wa' paralysin', grippin' me like a claw, a horrific repeat of the execution games all over again.

With this in mind, I asked Ulquiorra nicely if he would mind distractin' Ichigo for me – strangely, he had no objections whatsoever t' this – an' went t' fetch you.

I don't know what made me think I could defy Aizen now, when before I had failed so miserably. But I had determination on my side, at least. This time, my resolve would not dissolve at the hint of his anger. This time, I would not turn back.

I'm not sure if he thought you dead or not. Aaroniero made it clear that it wa' likely you were, even if he died in the doin' of it, an' I think Ulquiorra might have told Ichigo you were. But I could feel your life, the smallest, flickerin' flame pulsin' with a cold, quiet determination. You would not give up. You were not the doll you had been before. You were at the peak of what you had the potential t' be – powerful, brave an' unafraid.

I ran.

"Rukia," I muttered, cuttin' the dead form of Aaroniero away without hesitation an' catchin' you as you fell. For the first time, I wa' holdin' you in my arms. I thought you were unaware, until your eye slowly opened.

"Gin… Ichimaru," you managed, weak, weary. "So I… Die now… Is that… It?" I said nothin'. I'm not sure if that worried you or put you at ease. I stood, not feelin' the backlash from Cap'n Aizen just yet, an' ran at my highest speed t' Orihime.

She wa' bein' attacked by two Arrancar whose names I didn't know, nor cared to.

"Out," I snapped at them, my face no longer wearin' its happy mask, but twisted instead into an angry scowl. My eyes were opened, but narrowed dangerously.

They fled at the sight of me, terrified out of their minds.

"L-lord…" Orihime started, surprised, an' I put you down on the sofa.

"Heal her," I demanded. "Now! Quickly!" she nodded an' swiftly did as asked. I felt Ulquiorra's reiatsu clash with Ichigo's, felt Grimmjow movin' angrily, an' noted Cap'n Aizen's total lack of interest. He hadn't noticed.

"Wh-what are you going to do with her?" Orihime asked as she healed you, worried. I looked down at you – your eyes were closed now, your body unable t' cope with both stayin' alive an' stayin' awake.

"Take her away," I replied, more honest than I had been in a long time. "As far away as I can get, an' as fast as I can." I knelt beside your prone form. "An' then I'm goin' t' tell her the truth." My hands brushed over the shield that wa' rejectin' the spear's damage. "An' then I'm goin' t' send her back t' the Soul Society." The overwhelmin' flash of reiatsu that marked the climax of Ulquiorra an' Ichigo's battle whited out my senses for a moment, an' likely everyone else's, too. "An' take whatever else might happen," I added in the barest whisper. The shield disappeared; you opened your eyes t' look at me, an' Cap'n Aizen's rage cut through me like a white-hot iron. He wa' so angry, it almost hurt.

"Captain Ichimaru?" You murmured. I understood that for what it wa'. It wa' not you bein' afraid of retaliation. Because you used my title, you acknowledged that I wa' no longer an enemy of the Soul Society.

"We'd better run, Rukia," I replied, pickin' you up. "Else your friend Orihime here will have wasted her time." Inoue herself stood back, worried.

"…Take care," she murmured. She wa' torn, too – stronger because of Ulquiorra, but afraid for Ichigo. I hoped she'd make the right choice, but doubted that I would be around t' see it.

I sped across the san's of Hueco Mundo, leavin' Inoue t' Grimmjow, Ichigo's fate already decided by Ulquiorra – who wa' obviously disgusted enough by his weakness t' leave him alive t' get stronger. He would provide a challenge similar t' Byakuya – one which I did hope he would rise t' meet, but wasn't overly concerned about right then. Escapin' Cap'n Aizen's wrath wa' priority number one for me.

I shielded my reiatsu as best I could an' stopped within a cave, puttin' you down onto a ledge that would serve as a bed. You sat up, fully healed by Orihime. I thought I saw that same understan'in' in your eyes, that connection we'd felt outside the Penitence Cell, before you were led t' you death, just before I'd broken you into pieces.

I don't know if I wa' right or not.

"…I suppose it was," you murmured softly. "Fear destroys people, doesn't it? I know that."

"A bit," I agreed, lookin' idly at my fingers. "You gotta learn t' cope with the fear, though. Never could, me. Always had t' give in." You looked up at me.

"You didn't give in this time," you remarked. I smiled sadly –I remember you tellin' me that you realised how much more different I looked with my eyes open an' the smirk gone. That I seemed somehow vulnerable, in need of protection.

"I did," I replied. "I just ain't shown it yet." I glanced at the entrance, worried for Aizen appearin'. "Better get you t' safety, hey? Else Cap'n Aizen'll start killin' thin's. Won't be pretty, that."

"Come with me," you asked. I think you surprised even yourself by holdin' out your hand. "…Captain Ichimaru." I looked over at you.

"…Nah," I replied. "Can't do that. Else he'll follow you, see?" I sighed softly. "I'll get you back the way you came in. you can't come back, got it? Else he'll destroy you. You were s'posed t' die. I wasn't s'posed t' interfere. Not a good combination, is it?" I moved towards you, but you pointed your sword at me.

"You are coming with me, Gin Ichimaru," you told me fiercely, "else I shall be the one draggin' you by your ear." I raised an eyebrow. "Don't make me release my zanpaku-tō," you threatened.

"Scary," I remarked idly. "Don't think it'd be wise, though. I'm not exactly best friends with the guys on the other side, right? Little Tōshirō's there, for one. He hates me. Hinamori wants t' strangle me. Oh, an' Ranny. Can't forget Ranny."

"She'd be well entitled to strangling you in Momo's place," you muttered. "Just come, Gin. Tell them what you told me." I chuckled.

"Whoops… No time for that now," I remarked. "Better get goin'." I grabbed you up an' confiscated your sword in one swift motion, an' wa' movin' once more. "This is personal, y'see," I remarked as we ran. "I betrayed him… Twice now, kinda. He's not gonna let it stan'."

"Then come back," you growled, angry now. "Stop being a stupid, stubborn mule." I reached the open gate back t' the human world an' pressed your sword into your han' as I set you down.

"Don't try an' follow me," I warned, pushin' you through the gate an' turnin' back towards Las Noches.

"Gin!" I heard you exclaim, as you fell through back into the human world with a noise of thwarted anger.

He met me halfway back with a blast of pure spiritual energy that knocked me t' the ground. I wa' afraid. There wa' no point in denyin' that. I wa' scared out of my mind. Senseless, witless. The knowledge that I wa' goin' t' die wa' eatin' at me like a cancer. But I had done it for you. That wa' enough, wasn't it? I told myself it wa'. I believed it wa'.

"You crossed the line, Gin," he growled at me. "I was willing to overlook you playing games with them, but you've betrayed me. I have no use for traitors." I laughed weakly.

"Kinda like the Soul Society," I remarked. "Guess I don't have the option t' appeal, ne?" His sword hit the ground mere millimetres from my face.

"Jokes and smiles won't get you out of this," he told me in a soft voice. "You've known for long enough what I do to those who cross me."

"Well, Cap'n, technically none of 'em have died yet," I pointed out, somewhat weakly. "I mean, you let the Visoreds live, an' Urahara's still-" a point-blank Byakurai t' my face shut me up somewhat aptly. The pain wa' immense, but I refused t' cry out. I had t' master this fear, the one thin' that had put my life on his strings t' begin with. The fear of dyin'.

"The punishment fits the crime," he told me. "Kin." I wa' effortlessly restrained by his spells.

"So, eh, I guess this is a pretty bad crime?" I asked, somewhat pointlessly. He pulled his sword from the ground an' aimed it at the centre of my face.

"I told you that jokes and smiles would get you nowhere," he reminded me. "Silence, else I will cut out your tongue."

"Seems t' make little difference, seemin' as I'm goin' t' die anyway," I replied. "I won't miss it once I'm dead, ne?" The point of his sword hovered dangerously close t' my mouth, but, strangely, I wasn't afraid. I wa' goin' t' die… But nobody else was. You were safe. Rangiku wa' safe. This wa'… In a way, just what I wanted. The only one who wa' goin' t' suffer wa' me. That I could handle. That I could deal with. Suddenly, dyin' wasn't all that terrifyin'. An' he had no strings left t' pull t' bend me t' his will.

"I'll make sure you die slowly," he promised. I smiled slightly, a reminder of the mask I had worn before.

"That's nice of you!" I remarked. "Lettin' me live a bit longer. Always the kind-hearted Cap'n, mm?" He made an angry noise, now becomin' aware of what I had realised. I wasn't his any more. Even if it meant my death, he couldn't break me, control me, any more.

"A shame," he remarked. "I thought you had potential."

"An' a lot of people thought you were a decent guy, an' look where that got them," I reminded him. His anger wa' like a furious beast, hurtin' me more than the after-effects of the spell, or the bindin'. His spiritual pressure wa' so crushin' I could hardly breathe.

"Goodbye, Gin," he told me. I closed my eyes. I wasn't afraid, but it wa' becomin' harder t' fight the pain. I wa' embracin' the darkness. It wasn't like I would be losin' all that much, anyway – I'd just end up back in the livin' world. Maybe I'd live a bit longer there this time than last time. Then I could play the game all over again when I ended up back in the Rukongai, a different person than before, an' ace their academy all over again. He's just like that Cap'n we once had, they'd say. An' I wouldn't even know that I wa' simply wowin' them all again, an' I'd be in awe of that Cap'n who'd achieved the feat before me.

I laughed at myself for thinkin' it. Shinsō told me I wa' an idiot.

Maybe I am, I replied. Maybe I am. I wanted t' wrap my hands around his hilt an' slam my Shikai through Aizen's chest – somethin' I had never even considered before. But I couldn't break the binds. That wa' a shame. I would have liked t' go out with a bang.

"Sōkatsui," Aizen snapped. Two close range, high-strength kidō were about as much as I could take an' stay conscious. The last thin' I heard before I passed out wa' your voice.

"Dance, Sode no Shirayuki!"

"Funny, isn't it?" You remarked. "This time, I get to save you." I groaned in pain an' put a hand on my head. It ached. Most of me ached.

"…Rukia?" I managed. You made an amused noise.

"No, it's the Easter bunny," you replied sarcastically. "Of course it's me, dunce. Who else would want to save a reject like you?" You poked me. It wa' supposed t' be a joke, but went down about as well as my teasin' outside your cell.

"…I would ask if I'm dead… But I guess that's a stupid question, ne?" I remarked. You chuckled.

"Well, you nearly did die," you informed me. "Aizen was pretty swift with his sword. He didn't get both your soul chain and soul sleep, though, so Captain Unohana was able to save you. It was a good job she was in Hueco Mundo, though, else she'd never have made it in time."

"Oh… Joy…" I murmured, openin' my eyes ever so slightly. The light wa' blindin', so I quickly shut them again, an' that made you laugh. That wa' twice you'd chuckled in my presence. The only two times. So you weren't afraid of me now.

"Um… I'm afraid the war's over," she added, soundin' a little rueful. "We had to defeat him then and there, else you were a goner. Uh, it took me a while to convince a few people, but we did get him in the end!"

"He dead?" I asked. There wa' a pause – I suppose you shook your head, before realisin' I wasn't up t' vision at that point.

"No," you filled in. "We managed to cut his soul chain and soul sleep, so he's sitting in a secure cell without powers at the moment." I sighed softly.

"Fittin'," I decided. "Anyone dead?"

"Nope," you told me, soundin' pleased about that. "But Uryū – you should've seen him! Aizen practically took his arm off but he kept fighting! It was one of his arrows that got his soul chain, actually. Guess that Soul Reaper hatred isn't for nothing. Oh, and my brother was rather badly hurt when he killed Zommari, but he made it in time to help."

"…So people did die, then," I murmured. "Is Ulqui still with us? That kid wa' alright." You paused. Perhaps you weren't used t' thinkin' of the Arrancar as people, like I wa'. I wouldn't blame you.

"Oh… Um… I'm not sure," you replied, clearly thrown. "Ask Ichigo." You put one hand on mine – this touch not fleetin', perhaps the longest you had ever willin'ly had contact with me for. I did not count my carryin' you – I wa' not thinkin' of such things then. "When you get better." There wa' a pause, an' I inched open an eye t' see you grimacin'. "Captain Hitsugaya wants to put you on trial. Captain Unohana said that if he went anywhere within a three ri radius of you until you were better he'd be very sorry, but after that… I don't know." I sighed softly.

"Don' really matter," I told you. "They can say what they want. I'm not afraid."

"Not any more," you agreed. I felt you kiss my hand, an' sighed ever-so-softly. I had never expected anythin' of the sort. "Get well soon, 'kay? So I can beat you up properly for being such a jerk. Rangiku's in the queue, too."

"Yeah… I'll try," I replied with a slight smile. "Tell Ranny she'd better not get on Cap'n Unohana's bad side. I'd hate t' see that. She can keep little Tōshirō at bay, too, for that matter." You laughed, softly this time, an' moved my hand from my forehead t' down at my side.

"Get well soon," you repeated. "Or else." I heard you get up, an' risked the light again just t' watch you leave.

I thought I wa' dreamin'.

I still thought I wa' dreamin' when, once I had healed, I wasn't held t' be all that guilty.

I wa' convinced I wa' dreamin' when they made me Captain again.

It wa' only when Byakuya told me that I could have you, on the condition that if I hurt you I would pay in blood, that I realised I couldn't be dreamin'. Because even in a dream, he would never have said somethin' t' me like that. Because the idea of havin' you wa' beyond my wildest dreams.

An' even when I did, you never stopped intriguin' me, with your fierce fire, you determination, an' your sheer strength.

I guess that's why I fell in love with you, Rukia.

Besides, I kinda like the way Rukia Ichimaru sounds, don't you?

A/N - Do you? Read and Review, and if the accent was too much, read the second chapter XD I originally wrote it normally, then changed it on the advice of a friend. Let me know which you prefer, please ^^