Disclaimer: not mine

Summary: Blackfire's thoughts on her past. Oocness

Reflections

"The princess is born! The princess is born!" A small male Tamaranian ran threw the halls of the castle; he was simply a messenger alerting everyone of the good news. All the people rushed to the castle to get a glimpse of the princess royalty could see the baby immediately.

Luand'r was the first to hold her baby she gazed lovingly at her first born daughter. She was shocked to see her baby had black hair and purple eyes which wasn't common. "I have the perfect name for her, Blackfire."

Just then Mayand'r, Luand'r husband and Phy'zzon the Grand Ruler walked into the room. The queen was filled with fear and sadness. Her life mate turned to embrace her as the tears started to fall. Phy'zzon looked over at the baby that was supposed to rule one day.

"Your tears tell me that you already know what is going to happen so I don't have to tell you myself." Tears fell faster down her face and her whines got louder.

"Please don't, she is your grandchild!" Luand'r begged sitting up from the bed. Myand'r pushed her gently to the bed but she sat up again so he wrapped his arm around her little body.

"I know that but it is not my fault, I am the Grand Ruler I do what is best for our planet! One live is nothing compared too many. I will obey the rules of the Grand Rulers before me!" He stood up and walked to the door. "A black haired Tamaranian means the death of too many. You remember it well it was just sixteen years ago." Then he took his exit.

Sixteen years ago was the worst holocaust of my people; nothing compared not even the Gordanians attacks. Their was two thousand injuries and over twenty thousands deaths even now my planet isn't fully repopulated. A black haired male cheated and fought his way to be Grand Ruler. That was the most horrible thing a black hired Tamaranian had done. Other then a few deaths before the dark age no black haired Tamaranian was allowed to live.

However, since I am a pure blooded princess I was allowed to live but I had to be guarded at all times. Guarded for fear, not love. Even though I was no older then an infant I could understand everything that was going on. My parents were the only ones the love me and that stopped after a year; and my grandfather the Grand Ruler would have nothing to do with me.

The deal was that my grandfather said I was allowed to live till my mother produced and other child. The Grand Ruler said that she had to replace me and she did without hesitation. So quite literally my sister was going to be the death of me.

"The princess is born! The princess is born!" Another Tamaranian ran threw the halls of the castle. The Grand Ruler rushed to see the baby. My father carried me to the room my mother was in so I could met my little sister. Phy'zzon stared lovingly at my sister, which is something her never did for me. "Her name shall be Starfire."

Starfire, my baby sister, she was a redhead with green eyes a girl just like the rest of the planet. That was the fist time I said to myself I hated my sister. She got grandfather's love and she looked like our people.

Phy'zzon took her in his arms and walked over to the balcony where the rest of the people could see them. "Princess Starfire!" He yelled and all the people cheered and I mean it was the loudest thing I have ever heard. My newborn sister gurgled happily and tried to fly out of his hands.

After my family had held the newest addition I was expected to hold her too. I was placed on the bed next to my mother and she gave me my little sister. Phy'zzon gazed sternly at me like a warning saying 'if you hurt her your are dead'. Gee, what did he think I was going to throw my infant sister out the window?

I took my real first look at her and she smiled at me. I force a smile on my face to please them. Then Starfire reached up with her little hand. I figured she wanted to pull on my long hair but then my mother said. "She wants to hold you hand." With slight hesitation I poked her palm. With a strong gripped she pulled at my finger towards her mouth to suck it.

My first reaction was to pull away but I held it in to please them on last time. Happily my redhead sister fell asleep still sucking my digit. I wondered if she was aware in infancy like I was. I deposited my sister to my mother who placed her in my crib. "Can I go play?"

"Sure." I ran out of there Phy'zzon was giving me death glares even after mother took Starfire. I prayed they wouldn't hurt me any more. I sat down near the edge of the palace on the rocks that shelter me from view. I hugged my knees to my chest until something light fell on my head.

Starfire fell off my head then onto my lap, I was shocked she seemed so happy to see me. My sister smiled trying to wrap her arms around me, of course she was too small to. "Starfire! What are you doing here I'll get in trouble!" Being the royalty you were guarded constantly actually I am rather surprised they didn't notice. Oh wait, of course they did.

Princess Starfire!" My hearted started to beat faster.

"Please Star you must fly back to your room!" I begged quietly. She just gurgled and held on tightly to me. It wasn't long that they found us, searching for the princess was the top priority. Of course when the soldiers found us the Grand Ruler was there. He was always there to see my in trouble.

"I should have killed you long ago! Don't think you are going to hurt anyone black haired girl!"

"But! But!" I could feel the tears burning threw my eyeballs. Then to make it worse me parents flew down next to grandfather then embraced each other worriedly. They thought I was going to hurt her! At first I wanted to throw my sister to them but that wouldn't go over so well. Finally the tears broke threw my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I placed the little Tamaranian on the ground and took off flying anywhere but there.

They rushed over to my sister and cradled her lovely. Starfire gazed at them then at me before I was out of her sight.

Wiping the tears off my face I found shelter in a little animal borrow. I hid my face in the dirt though it didn't cover me well I just got dirty. I cried myself into a sleep the slightest sound could awake me I could have been attcked at any moment.

I was awake when they found me two solders picked me up and carried me back; I had no will to fight them though. They carried me to the throne room and pushed me to the floor in a force bow. Phy'zzon sat there and my parents were to the side holding the baby.

My head shot up as I heard Starfire call out she clapped her hands and flew out of my father's arms and over to mine. She cuddled my chest and attempted to reach around me for a hug. I did nothing and my parents looked at each other. I think they were reconsidering about killing my since my sister was attached to me.

Father asked to talk to grandfather alone and with a grunt they left the room. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. I leaned in to her little ear and whispered "Thank you."

From the other room I heard the Grand Ruler yell then I heard him punch through a wall or something that sounded like that. I tensed up as they returned. Phy'zzon grunted and cussed under his breath and commanded everyone to leave him be. Whining my mother preyed her baby from our embraced.

A few more year later and things were just the same. Starfire was attached to me rather I wanted it or not. I was only happy when the old ruler was near me. She would latch onto my arm and he wouldn't attach, either because he didn't want to hurt her or because he knew my sister love me and would be upset if something happened to me.

Either way it was about her and that's what I hated. Infant, to toddler, to young child, to teen she was still the favorite in everyone's eyes. But the biggest thing I hate about my sister, I mean the number one thing. It's even hard to admit it to myself nor do I want too. What I hate the most is that I love her too. That is why when we fight, she wins, she will always win. I can no longer fight it. I love her but at least I am no longer envious of her now, now it's just the hate I feel.

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A/N: Forgive any mistakes. General Phy'zzon was Star's second husband in the comic if you were curious. Got that from google I want to see the comic. So did I capture Blackfire pretty good? REVIEW