Chapter 17: Alcohol Intolerance

Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo, this story is purely fictional.

"Oi! What are you doing here? Didn't anyone teach you not to wander around other people's houses?" Ichigo plopped himself next to the (unbeknownst to him, drunk) girl and poured himself some wine. He saw what happened back at the party and he wondered if it would be appropriate to joke around at time like this.

"Baka Berry*hic*… I guess you're the *hic*only one who would *hic* abandon your own *hic* party to see if I was alright…" The short girl could barely speak properly as she took another bottle of vodka on the glass rack next to her, but before she could gulp down that bottle as well; a hand grabbed her wrist and constricted its

"You're drunk," Ichigo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his spare hand "Let's get you out of here before you cause a ruckus." He felt his uncharacteristic responsible self kick in as he tried to lift Rukia up from her slumped position on the barstool; there is a guest room not far from where they were and he could carry her up there. The last thing he needed would be a drunk, mumbling crazy midget ruining his party. His plan backfired however, Rukia's strength greatly surpassed his and instead of being the one to pull her up she ended up holding onto his shoulders and gluing him onto his seat.

"Hey… you're actually quite good-looking at this angle!" the semi-conscious girl exclaimed as she suddenly reached up to pinch Ichigo's cheeks. The lad's eyes widened as the latter stared back with hazy orbs of sapphire.

"Midget, stop molesting my face and get a grip on yourself" Although the orange-haired boy didn't mind the skinship happening between the two, the fact that she's drunk made him feel pretty worthless and self-conscious.

"You're so *hic* mean…" Rukia tilted his head downwards, licked her lips suggestively (or at least, in Ichigo's point of view it was her perverted face), and lifted her head up with her mouth puckered. The boy instantly flushed as red as a tomato and instinctively struggled against her amazingly strong hold, but to no avail.

Their faces grew closer inch by inch; Ichigo screwed his eyes shut, he cannot just let the flat-chested midget steal his first kiss like this! He prayed to whatever god that was out there to save him, or at least make sure it's over and done with quickly without leaving him a permanent mental scar. He could literally feel her hurried breath on his face now, her gathered lips drew closer to his, he tried not to think about it, and oh he tried so hard! He thought of Karin and Yuzu, he thought of F4 and how their next group outing should be like, but nothing, nothing, could take his mind off this crazy drunk midget who was currently attempting to sexually harass him.

He heard a burp, followed by a gag, and before he knew it she had vomited all over his pristine shirt.

"Ulquiorra-sempai, I just want to thank you for bringing me to the island..." meanwhile back at the ballroom Orihime bowed gracefully in front of the stoic male. Somehow Rukia's lecture did knock some sense into her, although she still loved her Kurosaki sempai deeply, it was time to at least be grateful to one of her good friends. She held a gift bag within her hands.

The boy stared at her blankly, not knowing what to say. His… attention for the girl was well-known throughout the school. It was why nobody dared to show the slightest bit of interest in her, they might get the red card from doing so.

"You don't look too well… are you alright?" the bubbly girl asked with concern "But fear not! I have baked you some peach, avocado and leek cookies to show you how thankful I am! I only recently invented this recipe and I hope you'd be the first one to taste it!" She revealed the contents inside the pink-coloured, ribbon-infested gift bag and revealed a packet of horribly discoloured, flower-shaped cookies.

Ulquiorra felt his stomach do a nasty flip and an unwelcoming twist. His throat tightened and the wine he had just drank screamed to come back out. All this while Orihime stared back at him with a huge, innocent smile plastered on her face.

"T-Thank you..." the boy mustered and accepted her 'gift'. It had been a gift of apology and thankfulness in Orihime's terms but to any normal person's it was more of a gift of deep hatred and vengeance. Ulquiorra made a mental note to find a safe place to dispose of the culinary monstrosity after the party.

"Ulquiorra! You've got to help m- oh hi Inoue-san I didn't see you there" The two were interrupted by a familiar shade of fiery red as Renji invaded their personal corner within the grand ballroom. "Do you know where Ichigo and Rukia are?" he asked.

"I thought you were the last to converse with them, why are you aski- excuse me" Ulquiorra felt a vibration within his trouser pockets and reached for his cellphone. He took his messages very seriously as all of his friends know not to contact him unless under important situations. He read the text before letting out a smirk.

"Speak of the devil" Ulquiorra sighed "Ichigo just texted me, he claimed to have had an accident and called it an early night. Kuchiki felt sick and had been provided with suitable accommodation. It appears like Kurosaki had put Mr. Iba in charge of the party." The latter shut his phone and put it back in his pockets.

"Oh no!" Orihime perked up beside him "I hope Kurosaki-sempai is okay! Kuchiki-chan too!"

"Oh I'm sure he's very, very fine right now" Ulquiorra smirked.

Her head pounded with the weight of a thousand rocks, her throat was sore and she felt like she wanted to throw up. And most of all, no matter how she adjusted her head on whatever she had been sleeping on it felt hard and uncomfortable. It had been especially uncomfortable when said object constantly flipped and turned and moved up and down...

Wait, flipped and turned? Up and down?

Opening her groggy eyes Rukia found herself draped over none other than a certain carrot top, and worst of all he was half-naked, only clad in trouser pants while she wore a short dress that revealed a little more than it should in its current condition.

She didn't know what to do, so she quietly shifted herself on the bed, as far away from him as possible.

"Shut up and let me sleep..." Ichigo however simply groaned and tried to snatch the blanket away from her. Rukia kept her firm hold on the linen and wrapped itself around her like a towel. In return Ichigo simply flipped over on his back and continued to snooze, revealing his well-toned abdomen of which Rukia stared at a little longer than she should have.

She swallowed hard and tried to get up… slowly so that she won't wake him and make the situation ten times more awkward than it already had been; and obviously, she failed.

The orange head slowly squinted open one eye, just as Rukia finally decided that it was a good time for her to scream.

A/N: Another year has passed since my last update… I decided to continue my fics without editing any of my previous grammar mistakes. It took me months to finally get this chapter up! I wanted it to be perfect to make up for my absence.

Bleach had changed so much since I last hyped over it, I certainly do NOT enjoy it in its current state. Thank you to all my old and new readers for stopping by and leaving a review! I'd just like to ask you to tolerate all those past mistakes and embrace the new style of writing. Don't forget to review! And yes you may nag me; I'll need a lot of that.