Ah! The Yullen Story I've been working on for awhile, woefully unbeta'ed for my beta has- well, for a kind way of saying it, lost touch with me. But I've read it over three times and corrected what I think is wrong, so- hopefully! Hopefully it's fine.

Alright, and here is where we begin:

Title: You be the Road
Author: lhbaghead/liar-kun
Fandom: Man
Pairings: KandaAllen, AllenKanda, (very slight, physical) LaviAllen
Rating: NC-17, R, whatever is worst .
Warnings: Boy's love, sex, violence, mentions of drugs and child abuse
Genre: Romace, Comedy, Action
Summary: There is Kanda, who is stupidly pretty. There is Allen, who is stupidly infatuated with him. There is Lavi and Lenalee, who have stupid plans to get them together. All Allen isn't sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Really.

And here we go .

----------------

It's just. Um.

Kanda is really pretty and hot and when he takes off his shirt Allen kind of wants to do the things Cross does to women but. Um. Really, a lot more, actually. With a lot more Oh, Allen (though Allen knows Kanda will never call out his name. Ever. He just doesn't know how to bring love into sex with Kanda, so, just. Um. Oh, Allen.) and sex and… Probably a lot less… Debauchery.

Anyways, when Lavi catches him fucking up into his fist while panting Kanda's name like a slut the red head just stares at him before bursting out laughing, leaving enough time for Allen to cover himself with what little sheets he has and die of mortification.

Then Lavi has the audacity to stare at him with pity in his eye (and, really, with Lavi, one eye was as good as two, so there was a whole lot of pity in that one eye) while Allen stutters an explanation ("Um, Kanda… was, uh. Being a dick earlier. And I wasn't concentrating and I was moaning out of frustration.") and even has the audacity to sigh and say "Oh, Allen…" Like he was a saint himself, and, really. God, this was so embarrassing.

It gets even worse when the older teen sits down beside him, pats his covered knee, and says "Allen, Allen, Allen- This is not going to do at all."

---

So, when Lavi said this is not going to do at all, what he really meant is "Jacking off to Kanda is not going to get you or him anywhere, so we're just going to plan something devious where Yu-chan will fall madly and deeply in love with you and you'll go on to have lots of sex. Like you were imagining fifteen minutes ago, probably. Except Kanda will probably be a picky bottom. But anyway."

"And the first thing we have to do-" He continues, smiling happily while Allen is still trying to dignify himself by making a dress of his sheets whilst stumbling to the bathroom. He is so glad whatever horny little feelings he had before are dead now, because that would have been really been awkward to explain. "Is figure out what Yu-chan likes."

"Um." Allen says, because he doesn't really have experience in finding out stuff about people when they didn't volunteer it. Like, with Lenalee, it was easy because she liked talking about herself. Well, most girls did, actually. But even Lavi he knew some things about, even if the redhead was supposed to be objective about everything as Bookman Junior. And, okay, he was getting off topic, but, really. Finding out things about Kanda was probably akin to pulling metal spikes out of a bull's hoofs. And the one time Allen had done that it wasn't very pleasant, so, really. Really.

"And we can make a list of what we already know!" Lavi kind of squeals, which is kind of disturbing in it's own right but Allen ignores it, because the other boy is really excited about this. For some reason.

Bookman Junior holds up one hand and starts flicking up fingers as he looks thoughtfully at Allen, who has finally managed to get some pants and a t-shirt on. Even though he isn't wearing any underwear. "He likes Soba, killing AKUMA, training, tea-"

"Tea?" Allen interrupts, because even if Kanda is Japanese he hasn't really ever thought of him as a tea drinker. Maybe because it's too calm of a drink and Kanda is five different kinds of surly.

"Yep. Tea. Darjeeling is his favorite." Lavi says happily, rocking forward on his ankles. "He tries to pretend he doesn't really like anything, but it's only cuz he's bitchy like that. Anyway."

"Anyway." Allen agrees, unsure of what else to say. To tell you the truth, he's kind of overwhelmed. But, uh- Kanda. He's learning about Kanda. Not that he ever said he wanted too. He's kind of happy with the way things are now- like, they're not trying to kill each other on missions and, sometimes, if it's really early in the morning, him and Kanda can actually sit at the same table (with some seats between them) and eat together. But not talk.

"-and! Oh! He likes violin music. Well, actually, we were on a mission in France and there was a minstrel playing on the street and he didn't say anything. Usually Kanda will snap at anything that resembles music."

Allen stares at Lavi for a second before choking out "Violin music?"

"Oh, yeah." Lavi says solemnly, as if Allen had just confessed to having a sexual liking for cream puffs and had asked if that made him crazy. "I'm guessing he's mad about the stuff if he didn't go up to the minstrel and shove the violin down his throat."

"… I really don't see how this is going to do anything, Lavi. Really. Thank you for trying to help, but-"

"Oh, no no no no." Lavi says, with a wicked gleam in his eye. Allen wonders if he's too stupid to be scared, or if he's just too used to the stupid schemes. "Now we put the plan into action. Now we get our darling Yu-chan to fall in love with you."

"Um." Allen says again, and somewhere in the back of his mind he realizes he really is too stupid to be scared.

---

Before the apparent plan can go into action, Allen is confronted by a very triumphant looking Lenalee and a widely grinning Lavi.

One look at the petite girl and Allen knows he's doomed. Really, he wonders if he should just go fight the Earl now and avoid this whole mess. Or go and pay Rhode a visit- an alternate reality sounds nice right now. One where his life isn't being screwed up by his friends.

"You told Lenalee?" Allen stares, horrified, at Lavi, whose grin is a little ashamed. As it should be, Allen huffs.

"I had too. She's a woman with valuable knowledge. It's for your best interests."

Allen only barely holds back a self-pitying noise because he really, really wants to keep his dignity for this one. At least a bit of it. And usually, when the phrase 'it's for your best interests' is uttered, that is when you are presumably screwed out of any control of the situation.

Lenalee, instead, gives him a half pitying, half why-didn't-you-tell-me-sooner look, and proceeds to say. "Oh, Allen, it was so obvious- it was cute the way you guys always fought and you sulked afterwards."

Lenalee smiles.

Lavi smiles.

Allen gurgles, realizing, really, he should lock his door. And maybe move off the continent.

---

The plan is this:

Allen, when Lenalee is doing coffee runs, will help her. But instead of bringing coffee to Kanda, he will bring him tea.

"Why is this relevant?" Allen sulks. Because he feels like it. And he really doesn't want to bring Kanda tea.

"We have to start off small." Lavi and Lenalee say at the same time, which is really kind of freaky. Allen doesn't want to have two people out to ruin his life sharing a brain. More nonverbal scheming will go on and then he will be truly and utterly fucked.

Someone says something dirty in the back of his mind about how he would be fucked if this worked, anyway, but he tactfully deafens it with more sulking.

"By starting off small," Lenalee continues, with a sweet and innocent smile only a girl like her could pull off. Which is really a crime, Allen thinks. Girls like Lenalee shouldn't be allowed to pull boys like Allen along while smiling. "Kanda will notice you and maybe warm up to you a little. If you gave him roses and a new training katana or something like that, he'd throw it back in your face and avoid you because it seem weird."

"Well, he'd probably kick the bean sprout's ("It's Allen." "You know, I never noticed it before, but Kanda has you trained! That's so adorable!") ass first, than throw it back into his face. And stalk off."

"Exactly." Lenalee says, while Allen gurgles at the realization that, yes, he's been trained by Kanda. Oh, God. "So we start off slow and sweet. Oh, look! How convenient! I need to bring coffee to the Science Department soon! Let's go, Allen!"

Allen tries to remember what country he liked best, which would be the farthest away from here, and where he could pretend he didn't exist. For awhile.

---

"Uh, Kanda?"

Which, in retrospect, is not the best way to start off what might become an epic love story that involves a lot of sex and killing and… food. Or a combination of the three. Or something. Allen only realizes now he could have said no to all of this.

"What?" Kanda snaps, because he's like that; Allen suddenly remembers why he didn't want anything to do with this plan. Then promptly forgets it when Kanda turns around to look at him and, Holy mother of Mary he has no shirt on. His chest is wrapped up in bandages, sure, probably from his last mission, and his jacket is on and everything, but still. Still.

"Uh." He starts, trying to keep his eyes on Kanda's but, really, it's hard.

"What?" Kanda says angrily, because he hates messing around with idiots. And Allen is the biggest idiot of them all.

"Oh! Uh! I bought you tea." Allen finally manages to get his fist out of his mouth than wonders why the hell he is so terribly awkward. Because, really. Really.

Kanda kind of stares at him suspiciously before walking towards him with the air of an animal who isn't sure if what it's approaching is safe or not. When he finally gets near enough to snatch the ridiculously girly cup off the tray, Allen doesn't know where to look so instead kind of smiles at Kanda with scrunched up eyes while freaking out internally. His thoughts run along the line of Jesus, he's not wearing a shirt. Maybe if I close my eyes, I won't have to suffer.

Kanda, without probably realizing it, makes a small hum of appreciation once he takes a sip, and his other hand comes to hold the cup gently under the bottom. Allen tries not to twitch when he hears the noise but fails horribly.

"Mm." Kanda says, and takes another sip, staring down at his tea in an expression of surprise, disbelief, and confusion. As well as some anger, because that's how Kanda always looks. Angry.

"Ugh." Allen replies, because he has nothing else to say to that sound.

"Did that stupid rabbit tell you?" Kanda utters, staring at him suspiciously and cradling the tea as if it were the only thing keeping him alive.

"Tell me what?" Allen automatically replies, then tries not to bash his head with the tray he has in his hands. Smooth, he thinks. Wow, I'm impressive. I'm surprised Kanda isn't falling on his face right now.

Kanda scowls, and glares, and makes general unpleasant things happen to Allen's stomach. So it's really all quite normal- they're back to square one. At least, before, Kanda was making those sounds and Allen was trying not to think at all. "About the tea, bean sprout."

"It's Allen. And, no." He lies, but only because he's good at it. Any other time and he would be sweating bullets or other pieces of artillery. Then he realizes lying to someone whose heart (pants?) you're trying to get into isn't really the best way to go about it, so before he creates a horrific lie that would probably put him a thousand feet below ground if Kanda actually found out the truth, he says. "Lenalee told me to make this for you while she made the other's coffee. Why, do you like it?"

Kanda eyes him suspiciously, still holding the cup as if he was protecting it, and che's at him. "It's better than coffee."

"Oh." Allen says, and smiles that polite little smile that he realizes a second too late Kanda hates. But he can't do a face fault now because it would look weird, so he just keeps on smiling. "I'll bring it to you from now on than."

"Whatever." Kanda declares gruffly, and abruptly turns around and walks off. As soon as he turns the corner Allen's smile drops and he hangs his head, wondering what in the hell was possessing him to do this.

The answer is given when Lenalee pats him on the shoulder out of nowhere and sighs, holding the coffee tray to her chest; beside her, Timcampy flutters, giving off a general air of condolence. "Oh, Allen." She sighs again, pitying. "That was. Um. Good. At least you two didn't come to blows."

"I tried." He says, kind of pathetically, as if to console himself. Lenalee smiles and pats his shoulder again, while Timcampy butts his head gently.

"I know." She says. "But let's move on, shall we?"

---

"I have to catch him in the bath house?" Allen squawks.

"Oh, well!" Here, Lenalee's hands flutter in aborted gestures, a blush stained bright on her cheeks; Allen stares at her until Lavi interrupts, throwing an arm around the shorter boy's shoulders.

"That's the most basic way of saying it." The red head exclaims happily, eye curved. Allen turns and stares at him, apprehension and disbelief in his eyes. "Because, as you know- or I hope you know since Cross was your Master and all- sexual desire sometimes speeds up the process of love-love. So, if Kanda sees you naked or, per say, can imagine you naked, it might not be so bad for him."

"… I have to go and catch him in the bath house?" Allen repeats weakly, imagining fifty different ways this could all go horribly wrong, and forty nine which would result in his death. Thirty which would result in his death by Mugen.

"Yes." Lenalee repeats after another moment, the blush fading into a light pink. "And since you already like him, it won't be a problem for you."

"But he'll see me." Allen whines, hands shooting up in the air in emphasize. "Naked."

"That's what we're counting on!" Lavi chimes in cheekily, drawing little circles in the air that obviously have some significant importance but just make him look like an idiot. "Then he'll want to have sex with you-"

Allen chokes, hands coming up to claw at his throat to try and somehow magically dislodge whatever was blocking his passageway. Maybe it was shame and embarrassment.

"-and then fall madly in love with you. Now, he baths between seven and eight in the Northwest baths. And it's five. Now go and eat, stud, you got a night ahead of you!"

---

It's not… Well, okay, Allen has had a lot of fantasies about Kanda. A lot. And it had probably started about their first mission together, in Martel, when he had been carrying the black-haired exorcist after he had passed out from being smacked around by that copycat level two.

When he had been carrying Kanda, he had been carrying him with one arm hooked under his arms and his jacket had been ripped to pieces and when Allen had touched his skin, he had started thinking about how smooth it was, despite the fact that Kanda had just been kicked around by an AKUMA. And that he felt strong. And, and- that was when he had to stop thinking because it was either finish the mission successfully or finish the mission successfully, but with a problem.

And then it had escalated, because Kanda was beautiful, in all his righteous anger and self-sacrificing sense of duty. And, most of all, he was strong; Allen had spent all his life around strong men but Kanda was a different type of strong, closer to home. And he was beautiful.

So, in the end, Allen found himself jacking off to thoughts of Kanda, which made him feel guilty and, sometimes, the guilt got so bad he couldn't even look the other man in the face.

Not that Kanda knew anything about any of this. On top of him keeping it as a secret that he'd protect with his life, and one he figured was probably bigger than any debt Cross had ever accumulated, Kanda was… Well, Kanda was dense. Which was probably a lot better for Allen in the end, but really. Kanda could have at least looked at him oddly once in a while.

So Allen had been happy about keeping his dirty little secret a secret for the rest of his life, with Kanda by his side and sometimes taking off his shirt, until Lavi had walked in on him. Which had been really awfully embarrassing.

And, at the moment, Lavi catching him masturbating had landed him hyperventilating in the men's change rooms, clutching his towel for dear life and wondering why in the hell Lavi had locked the doors to the outside world. As if he'd escape through the doors.

He could really try the window. The window option was looking really good right now. He could survive a fifteen foot fall, he had done it before. That was one thing he could thank Cross for, the atrocious child abuse that had gotten him used to routinely trying to escape different places in creative and painful ways.

Then again, if he didn't at least try- and, as a kid, Mana had always made him try new things- like, there had been that one time with the chips and mustard and that had actually been pretty good-

Okay, Allen thought, Okay. I can do this.

Trying to stop himself from rambling further in his head manually isn't really doing much, obviously, so he tries to takes a deep breath. Fails. Takes a second one, which is marginally more successful. Then takes a step forward

His foot makes a small splash against the stone and this makes him take another deep breath; once he's sure his heart isn't about to burst from his chest, he opens his eyes and takes five strides until he's out in the open air.

Well, so far, so good. His towel hasn't fallen off; he hasn't slipped and made a fool of himself; and, most of all, Kanda isn't there.

Okay, well. Okay. He can't deny the tiny bit of disappointment, but he's really relieved actually. Allen wasn't really good at the whole control-of-body thing, which he thought was quite understandable because he was seventeen, and seventeen year olds thought about sex a lot. Or at least he thought so, because- well. He was seventeen.

But to come to the baths and not take a bath was a waste so he tries to put Kanda out of his mind and focus on taking a nice, refreshing, unaccompanied bath. Alone.

Slipping into the bath is probably the most heavenly thing Allen has felt all day. And of yesterday. Actually, it's the most refreshing feeling since this whole plan had started taking place, which causes him to think about the whole thing. About trying to get Kanda to fall in love with him.

And he had never admitted to liking Kanda, anyway. He liked Kanda's body sure enough, yeah, but Kanda as a person wasn't all that great. He was surly and an asshole at the best of times, and at the worst of times Allen secretly wished that there was a cliff close enough so he could push the taller man off. Even then, Kanda would probably survive and bitch at him in his loud and annoying voice. And his sense of duty was a little extreme and he was always, always angry. Allen was surprised he hadn't died of a popped blood vessel yet.

But then there were Kanda's good qualities, which always threw a whole toolbox in the works when Allen actually thought about them, as seemingly nonexistent as they were.

Kanda was passionate and intense to a fault; sure, you could find that in a lot of people, but the way Kanda did things was to the very best of his abilities, and sometimes even past what he could do, and with a vigor one would be hard pressed to find anywhere else. And his sense of duty and loyalty were also really endearing, because he never let anyone down. And his possessiveness was kind of hot, too; Allen was still secretly astonished that Kanda had so vehemently denied help against Skin Boric when it was that Noah, after all, who had been trying to kill Theodore Tiedoll.

Then there was Kanda's body, which had really started this whole mess to begin with.

On the end, Kanda's good qualities piled on top of his bad qualities if you could get over the asshole-ish attitude the older man presented everyone with.

But he still didn't really know if he liked Kanda in that way. Because, really. They always fought, no matter what- it was kind of disgusting how much they fought. He was sure Lavi and Lenalee had already been sick of them by Allen's first month at the Order.

He didn't really need to think about how he 'liked' Kanda right now though. Right now, he was alone in the bath. He could enjoy himself thoroughly and maybe ignore the whole thing for a while.

"Bean sprout?"

"It's Allen, BaKanda!" He replies automatically, and automatically despairs when he realizes his chances of relaxation had just been taken out back and shot.

"You still look like a bean sprout to me." Kanda says from somewhere up above him. Allen's eyes snap open once he realizes this, and when he finally focuses on Kanda he splutters, flinging himself forward.

"You-! Kanda!"

"What?" The black-haired exorcist says grumpily, standing before the baths in what was a terribly short towel. And terribly short towels always equaled terribly stupid bean sprouts, he finds.

"Ugh!" He exclaims in indignation, standing in the water and wondering how deep it is and if he could drown himself in it. Because Kanda's short towel was really short, and, wow, he did have nice legs- all muscled and long and- wow-

Than Kanda takes off his towel and Allen promptly dunks his head into the bath, eyes wide and stinging while his heart beats furiously inside his chest. He wouldn't be surprised if the innocent fragment that was holding his heart together fell off because he was dying of a heart attack.

And- and Kanda's dick-

Allen lets out a burst of air and chokes, comes up spluttering.

"Ugh." He repeats, hands coming up to wipe desperately at his eyes and face. When he finally manages to open them, he automatically zooms in on the slightly amused, slightly weirded out face of Yu Kanda.

"What are you doing, idiot?" He hisses, arms spread across the rock as he settles into the bath. The tattoo on his chest stands out prominently against his skin, and Allen stares, because he- Kanda was naked in front of him. Naked.

"Um." Allen says, then opens his mouth further to let more stupidity fall out. "I was checking to see how hot it was."

There's silence, which Allen was expecting in the first place but isn't really ready for. And Kanda is making generally unhappy and unpleasant things happen to his stomach again because he was really, really hot, with his hair plastered to his neck and water dripping down his chest-

"Freak." Kanda spits, eyes narrowed.

"At least I don't look like a girl." Allen retorts, hoping to God the blush on his cheeks looked like the heat getting to him. Then he backtracks because commenting on Kanda's looks was so not the way to go with insults right now.

"What was that, bean sprout?" Kanda growls, pulling him out of his self-hatred for liking how Kanda looked. "Do you want me to cut you up?"

"I said you look like a girl, BaKanda!"

Kanda stands up abruptly, arms set akimbo as he glares down at the shorter boy, who was trying so terribly hard not to look down. "Say that again and I'll pull out your hair and sell it to some geezers who actually need it."

"Ah, Kanda, you suck at insulting people. You used that same one before!" Allen sticks out his tongue, places his hand on his hip but taking care as not to stand up all the way. Because- well, he said before he was seventeen.

The black-haired exorcist scowls, eyes glinting dangerously as he looks at him with hatred. Allen tries not to think about how Kanda's body looks with water running down it. "Do you want to fight, bean sprout?"

Allen che's at him, copies his stance and rolls his eyes. "Ah, Kanda, you're probably too tired trying to think of new things to say. Why don't you take a break from all that thinking instead? You couldn't fight me if you tried!"

And, in all reality, Allen didn't want to fight Kanda because fighting Kanda would mean their bodies would be touching and he didn't actually want to touch Kanda at the moment, because, well, Kanda would feel certain parts of Allen, and then it would be all terribly awkward and messed up. Kanda wouldn't talk to Allen anymore and Allen would probably despair because he'd probably feel even guiltier jacking off to Kanda until the whole thing he had for Kanda blew over. Which would probably take a very long time, especially if Kanda hated him. Then he'd fight the Earl and probably lose and destroy humanity because he would be thinking about how he wanted to save his friends and then friends would automatically reroute to Kanda and then he'd probably be having a pity party and being distracted while the Earl was making a grocery list in his head while killing him. Or something.

All in all, Allen didn't really want to fight Kanda.

And, all in all, saying 'you couldn't fight me if you tried' was a Very Bad Thing to say when talking to Kanda, because the Japanese boy ends up narrowing his eyes and lunging at him.

The first thing Allen does is stick out his arms in an attempt to stop the flying exorcist, which doesn't really end well because Kanda had had been aiming his hands at his throat. So, when Kanda finally does land on him, Allen falls back into the water, and Kanda goes with him.

They were a big mess of tangled limbs, choking, and flailing, all mostly on Allen's part. Kanda was probably a lot madder since Allen was probably kicking and punching him but, at the time, Allen is just trying to get away.

He obviously fails, because when Allen's back slams against the other side of the bath (and he didn't even know how they got there so fast) he lets out a huge gasp, back automatically arching against the pain.

Which was probably the worst thing he could have done, because when certain parts touched other certain parts, Kanda's eyes widen and, in a split second and thoroughly panicked decision, Allen winds up and punches the other exorcist in the jaw.

Kanda reels back, and when he is sufficiently far away from Allen, Allen decides (in another split second, very panicked decision) that a nice kick to Kanda's stomach would send him even further away.

Allen stands there panting as the black-haired exorcist splutters and hits the water with a deafening splash. All is quiet for a few seconds, where Allen is coming to terms with what he had just done ("Oh my God, Holy shit, I just killed Kanda.") and Kanda is somewhere under the water, planning a certain bean sprout's death.

Then Kanda comes up from the water like a demon from hell, and Allen shrieks a very unmanly shriek because, now that Kanda was back from the dead he was going to kill Allen.

Which was why Allen decides that getting out of the bath and running for his life is a really good option.

Of course, Allen should have known that as soon as he got one foot out of the bath and onto the floor Kanda would tackle him.

Again, they are a messy pile of limbs and flailing, and it takes a few seconds to sort it all out; when they do, Allen is on the ground, on his stomach, hands being held behind his back as a very angry Kanda straddles him. Which is really, really awkward for Allen because Kanda was straddling him. Naked.

"What the fuck?" Kanda hisses, squeezing his wrists painfully and totally unaware of the panic attack the teen under him is having. "You kicked me, you idiotic bean sprout!"

"Well!" Allen struggles, acutely aware of Kanda and all of Kanda's skin. "You attacked me first!"

He can't see Kanda's scowl, but feels it in the squeeze of his wrists. Allen closes his eyes and bangs his head against the ground when Kanda leans forward. Allen can feel Kanda's hair falling over his shoulders, tickling his neck; he can feel Kanda's breath passing over his ear, dancing over his skin.

Oh God, he thinks, trying to invent ways to kill himself, this is torture. I want to die. Maybe Kanda will kill me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kanda spits, mouth close to his ear. Allen tries desperately not to Think About It. "Why the hell are you acting so weird lately?"

"It's not my fault!" Allen says, strains to turn his head and look at the other boy. "It's-"

He stops, realizes how stupid it would sound if he said 'Oh, it's your fault because you and your body and all of you is making me like you and be awkward around you. So it's your fault, not mine'.

He pauses for a second, thinks it over before coming to a conclusion.

"Innocence! Activate!"

"What the hell!"

-----------------

Allen lets out a sigh of relief.

He had barely escaped Kanda's wrath. By barely, he meant that Kanda had 2.5 seconds to recover after being thrown into the bath by his Clown Belt, and he barely had the time to even put on his underwear and get out of the change room before the very pissed off exorcist had time to catch up to him.

Now, though, he's standing in his own room, back against the door, exhausted physically and emotionally.

It takes a few seconds before he can even gather up the energy to walk over to his bed and flop onto it; he doesn't even bother to dry his hair or dress properly into his pajamas.

Now, he thinks, things were going to get a lot more awkward. And frustrating. And- and stupid. Because he was sure Kanda had felt his cock, which had been half hard because of Kanda, and if Kanda tried confronting him about it, like his weirdness, then Allen couldn't activate his innocence to get away again and it would… It would really suck because, for the time being, he had been happy with Kanda. Sure, they fought, which usually were just petty little arguments anyway, but they weren't coming to blows every time they saw each other, like in the old days. And he had been happy with that. But now he had ruined it because he was so terribly awkward with his feelings.

Burying his face into his pillow (which was wet from his hair, which so did not improve his mood an iota), he groans, presses his hips into the bed.

Life sucked. And he just knew he was going to have a mission tomorrow. He just knew it.