A/N: Hey all!

Last chapter!

Thank you, frevently, for all of your support on this story.

It has been a great joy to write & your kind words of encourgement took me to places I never would've gone otherwise.

I hope you enjoy the last chpt!

My final plea: Leave a review to let me know if you liked the chpt & the story!

Thanks again! :)

xoxo

"Every question
Every answer too
Ever constant
Ever changing you
It's all memory in the sun
Or it's all in the darkness
Maybe it's all around to see
If we try
And maybe it's been inside of me
All this time
Love love love
Love love love
Love love love"

-Shiny Toy Guns "Season of Love"

Once we've had our fill, of food at least, Blair finally texts Dorota. She wasn't worried, being a Gossip Girl subscriber, she already surmised the reason for Blair's absence. Dorota told her how overjoyed she was that we finally worked it out. That seems to be the compounding emotion of the day, joy.

Blair excuses herself and goes into the washroom. I am left with my thoughts for a few minutes. I go to the closet and choose to put on a pair of silk pajama pants and a robe. I have a inkling that Blair and I will be naked at least one more time before we are seen in public again. Consequently, I don't want to get fully dressed. I think that at this point, we could stay in the hotel for the rest of our lives and I wouldn't feel the least bit put out.

But mostly what occupies my thoughts is what she told me at the table, why she loves me. I am skeptical by design. You don't grow up like I did without questioning the motives of everyone around you. I suppose that's why I always liked Nathaniel so much. He is absolutely genuine, the perfect counterpoint to me. Unlike the rest of the upper crust sycophantic socialites that surround us, Nate was innocent and real. He didn't hide his personality and when he tried, it was almost comical. It's not that he is simple or stupid, he just wasn't hardened to the world around him. He expected the best of people with his decent, gentle disposition. And he stayed a true comrade through some of my more colorful exploits.

I figured we would stay tight through everything. He would eventually marry Blair with me by his side as best man. I had a legendary bachelor party mapped out in my mind already. And then life changed and so did he.

He started looking at Serena differently. The open book that is Nate Archibald turned a page and he couldn't help himself. I never held it against him. Serena has a magnetism, an impulsive energy about her and he got caught up. Serena was wild like me and Blair was her Nate; Blair was reserved and safe. That's why we all assumed that it would be Nate and Blair forever.

But Blair had another facet to her persona, she was effected by our world and she knew how to control it. People were her marionettes and she could pull the strings masterfully. She kept this from Nate, recognizing that he didn't have the stomach or the talent for scheming. Serena was never vengeful or cold, she was too sunny and happy-go-lucky to be bothered. She had also abandoned Blair when she was most vulnerable. So, who did that leave? I became Blair's confidant on all things diabolical. Together we could work any situation to our favor. I always thought she was most appealing when she unleashed her maniacal self on the Upper East Side. She has this sexy gloating look about her when her plan falls into place. And though I would always proposition her through our banter and coveted her on a carnal level, the sign on her read: Nate's girlfriend, off limits.

Honestly, that didn't bother me. Why should I begrudge him one piece of ass in a sea of slutty, willing warm bodies? Therefore, it never went beyond controlled surface attraction. She wasn't mine to have, besides she was too buttoned up for my purposes. That is until I was introduced to the real Blair on that fateful night, the most epic night of my life thus far. I watched in shock and delight as she showed off her 'moves'. A new appreciation for her was ignited and while I always preferred Serena physically to choose between them, I couldn't for the life of me remember why. Blair was not simply a prize or trophy, she was the was the whole game. And I wanted to play so badly. Still, the best friends girlfriend moniker held me back from outright seduction. She was the ultimate taboo conquest, not only off limits but also, completely pure. I had to be sure she knew what she was getting into. I didn't want to force myself on her, as I had shamefully done with other girls.

The regret I feel for those occurrences plagues me. There is no justification for it. I felt that I was within my rights to have anything I wanted, the sense of entitlement was bone deep. I was born into a society of excess and I was the king of indulgence; no one said no to a Bass. My twisted mind told me I could have anyone I wanted, whether they were willing or not. The lack of respect I held for women stemmed from the mindset that they served a single function, and that function was my pleasure. I can now think of myself as a snake in the garden of low hanging fruit, but I wanted challenges. And in my experience, the no's would turn to yes's once my persuasion took effect and loosened their inhabitations.

It wasn't until Blair offered herself to me, trusting the snake not to bite her, that the unsound logic I used to rationalize my actions came undone. I felt for her, I wanted to be gentle and patient. I needed her to enjoy every moment of her first time. That night I experienced a real, emotional connection with a member of the opposite sex. It was a first for both of us. She found the softness underneath my rigid shell. I wanted to give her everything but concurrently, keep her entirely to myself.

If a man had taken advantage of her, like I had done to so many others, I would have died inside. All I wanted to do was protect her, shield her from men like me. In one limo ride, my entire attitude regarding women had done a one-eighty. I am still racked with disgust and self loathing over my past indiscretions. I ask myself how I got to that point, how I let myself become a monster. No matter how much I change, my history haunts me. As a result, when she tells me she loves me, how can I not question it? One day I hope I can atone for my behavior, but I doubt that I can erase those stains from my soul.

But, Blair brings about this inspiration inside me. I aspire to be the man she already believes I am. I want to tell her everything, share the portions of me that I have locked away, too frightened of the reactions they would instigate. I need her to understand that even though I might be damned, it doesn't carry the same weight when she's near.

Before I can muse any further, she comes up behind me and encircles me in her arms. Then, she slides around to be in front of me.

She looks worried, "Where did you go in that mind of yours?" she asks, smoothing the crease that had formed on my forehead.

I unknit my brow at her touch, "Just thinking."

She nods and gives me an understanding smile.

"I want to show you something, put this on." I pull white hotel robe from a hanger. She gives me a perplexed expression in return, but throws it on anyway.

"And you'll need these." I state, ignoring her look and offer a pair of hotel slippers. Both are too large for her, she looks besieged by terrycloth, I think it's adorable.

She stares at me, waiting for an explanation. When I supply none, she gets frustrated and finally asks, "Why?"

"It's a surprise." I submit as clarification.

"Where are we going?" She mopes when I give away nothing.

I smirk at her attitude and realize why her father couldn't help but indulge her. She has a great sulking face.

"Not telling," I hold firm, "It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you now would it?" I guide us to the door of the suite, grabbing my key before we depart.

Blair doesn't answer the rhetorical question, "I don't like surprises." she petulantly gripes as we walk down the hallway toward the bank of elevators.

I'm not buying into her antics and I tell her knowingly, "You love surprises."

"Only if I figure them out first." She admits as I push the button once we've reached our intermediate destination.

"Do I need to explain the concept of a surprise again?" I roll my eyes at her as the lift doors open before us.

She huffs a little as we enter and observes, "You just like to see me squirm."

"It is an accomplishment to get you to squirm." I say while setting my hands on her hips and touching my lips to her neck.

"Mmmm…" She sighs in contentment, her prior irritation subsiding.

I push the knob for the top floor and she doesn't miss this, "We're going to Lily's?"

"Not exactly." I reply.

Her mind is running through the potential end points as I smile at her efforts. When we've almost reached the floor and I slide my key into the corresponding slot below the buttons. The elevator continues upward, not stopping at the penthouse, her interest increasing steadily. The door opens again to a hallway not meant to be seen by everyday guests. It is a completely utilitarian corridor, no ornamentation or embellishments. I walk out totally as ease because I have been up here many times. Blair is exactly the opposite, hesitant and tense.

"It's not much farther." I coax, taking her by the hand. I direct us through the short hallway into a nondescript stairwell.

"Chuck." She warns, not liking one bit that she's out of her comfort zone.

"Almost there." I assure her as we climb the single flight of steps. We get up to another plain metal door with a sign that reads, 'Authorized Personnel Only'.

"I don't think we're supposed to be up here." She states warily.

"I do own the place. Besides, it is about five in the morning, no one will be around for hours." I throw out, "Where's your sense of adventure, Waldorf?"

She takes the challenge, looking at me boldly, "Fine, let's go."

I smirk at my easy victory and turn the handle. I walk over the threshold and onto the concrete.

Blair glances at me, understanding at once where we are, "I should have known. Chuck Bass on a rooftop, huge surprise."

"Wait for it." I maintain, taking us to the east side of the building.

"Oh my god." She whispers when the view takes full effect, "You can see the whole city from here."

Manhattan is laid out before us, the city lights twinkling in the pre-dawn blackness. The bustle continues below us, but it is perfectly calm up here. The wind wisps by us lightly, stirring Blair's wavy brown locks. I run my fingers through them delicately as my eyes appraise her enchanted face.

"I get why you come up here." She states, her gaze still directed on the urban landscape, "It's breathtaking."

"Yes," I concur, "The view is quite nice too."

She turns to me, noticing that my stare is fixed on her. She smiles at my comment and I put an arm around her waist. We are quiet for awhile, taking in the vast panorama.

"Do you know why I have a thing for rooftops?" I inquire, still glancing out over the distance.

"It's a good secluded place to lure young women?" She guesses with a smirk in her voice.

"There is always that." I concede.

"Tell me why." she prompts, turning her body slightly to see my face.

I prepare myself for my story, hoping I can hold it together, "When I was about six or seven," I begin steadily, "I got curious about my mother. All the other kids at school had mothers and I wanted to know where mine was. So, one night I asked my father. He said she was in heaven and he was busy so I should go play. I didn't know what that meant and I went to my au pair and asked her where heaven was. She said she'd show me. Then, she took me up on the roof and pointed to the sky. She held me in her arms and told me that when people go to heaven, they live with the stars. And if I looked hard enough, I could see my mother watching over me." I stop suddenly, to breathe a ragged breath.

"I suppose whenever I go on rooftops, I'm searching for her…" I confess, "Then, later I did find out about the hook-up potential." I end with a joking remark, trying to make the moment less heavy.

Blair stays mute, waiting to hear if I have more to divulge.

"I've never told anyone that before." I acknowledge as her hands pull me closer and I enfold her in my arms.

"I'm glad you told me." She says into my chest.

"Me too." I admit.

Looking up at the stars with Blair cradled in my embrace, I feel it all again: the joy, the pain, the hunger, the satisfaction, the safety, the passion, and the love. And we stay there until the sun breaks the horizon, lighting the city and bringing it to life. I realize that this is a metaphor for us, the darkness and the light co-existing in harmony, two sides of the same coin. Both giving into the other at the right time, but neither one resentful of it. I look at her face and she smiles again and without having to think about it, so do I.

"I love you." She breathes.

"I love you too." I murmur in return.

Then I place my hand on her chin, turning her face up to mine. Our lips meet as the sun washes over us, bringing a new day and in our case, a new life filled with promise and possibilities and butterflies.

*The End*