Fairest

oOo

Authors Notes: Okay, forgive me for calling Starscream a "wife" even though he's technically male. Though then again, Screamer may demand to be called a wife?

Also, if this plotline looks familiar to some of you avid scholars then I suggest that you recall the greek story of how the Trojan war was started. Legend goes that Eris, goddess of Discord, was not invited to a banquet and so she threw her golden apple of dicord into the middle of the celebration and shouted that it was "for the fairest goddess". Naturally Aphrodite (goddess of love), Diana (Or Selene, Goddess of the Hunt) and Hera (Queen of the MT. Olympus, wife of Zeus and goddess of women) each thought that the apple was meant for them.

Hence the three goddesses asked Zeus to chose the most beautiful goddess. Zeus redirected them to Paris, a shepheard, and the three went to Paris. He chose Aphrodite when she promised him the most beautiful woman in the world as his wife (Helen of Troy, who also happened to be the wife of a powerful king o.O).

oOo

Megatron's Harem was actually a separate palace from his own, connected by a large, elevated walkway. The palace was decorated in elegant golds, reds, blues and purples (most dominantly) and the number of concubines ranked in the hundred thousands, yet the favorites of the emperor had their own separate section of the palace where no outsider mechs were permitted to enter.

Among the favorites were Megatron's wife, Starscream. Also his three most beautiful concubines, Tracks, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, lived in the favorites section.

Tracks was probably one of the more exhibitionistic of the Harem, especially when it came to his looks and keeping them up. The blue eyed Autobot's lips parted invitingly as he sat on his red cushion berth, trailing a cloth over his body. Track's snow white hair had a few thick streaks of blue and around the almond shaped eyes were thin lines of red, emphasizing the elegant blue color. Pale blue skin covered his body, so pale it was almost pure white. Of the three most attractive mechs of Megatron's Harem, he was probably the one next to Starscream who flaunted it the most. He was a god, and the sad thing was that he knew it. He wore an elegant blue shirt and pants that clung to his body, one sleeve and one leg cut off to reveal his perfect skin. The concubine wore a series of gold bracelets and necklaces on his wrists and neck, the gaudy ornaments only emphasizing his perfect, strong yet feminine body.

Sunstreaker adjusted his blonde hair, making sure that it flared out at the sides of his head like golden thread. Heavily lidded eyes watched the world with distain as the warrior mech sat on his own berth. He was larger than most of the concubines, second only to Optimus Prime in his dominating size of the entire palace of Harem mechs. He wore a purple and gold striped shirt that was made of a cloth wrapped around his chest like bandages and tucked into the bottom of the tight shirt in order to keep it on. A short purple skirt edged in gold showed off smooth, powerful legs, a long golden scarf wrapped around his waist tickling his calves. Delicate golden anklets and bracelets, not as many as Tracks of course, yet still enough to emphasize wealth and his status as a concubine gleamed in the blue and pink light of the harem.

Starscream sat on a large cushion berth at the back of the room, admiring his finish on his wings. He had just come from the washracks and was feeling immaculate. Starscream was slim and small, young but not quite as naive as many mechs believed. He knew how to use his seemingly weak charm to his advantage. A pair of metal wings gleamed red and white as he stroked them with a manicured hand, red nails with gold tips tapping on the wings thoughtfully. Red hair fell to the base of his spine, pulled back in a ponytail with a gentle curtain of bangs covering his red left eye. His perfect, dark gray skin was almost black and he smirked as he felt his own skin, knowing that any mech looking at him would know that he thought himself exceedingly beautiful because of his skin. He wore a tight red and purple dress, the skirt so short that one could see the bright red of his interfacing panel if one looked at him correctly. Red strapped high heels that tied off at the top of the knees, the heels actually being Starscream's red painted thrusters.

Blitzwing stood beside a window, watching the concubines and grinning as he watched little Perceptor strip out of his clothes and begin to clean himself from the privacy of his bed. Nice aft, but that wasn't why Blitzwing was hovering outside of the window.

"Come on man! Just toss the apple and let me take a look at the little sex kittens!" Skywarp complained and Blitzwing glared down at him, tossing a golden apple studded with rubies and dangling from a golden chain into the room, shouting in his Random voice:

"For the fairest!"

Sunstreaker, Tracks and Starscream looked up as the apple rolled into the center of the room, listening to the statement. Perceptor jumped, having been the closest to the window and pulled his blankets to his chest before standing and looking out the window.

"No one's there." He pouted and turned, wrapping the purple blankets around his thin form and looking at the apple. Starscream bent over and picked up the apple.

"For the fairest…" He repeated, lifting the chain to fasten it around his neck as he smirked. "Well, the choice is obvious."

"Hold on now! What makes you think that you're the fairest?" Tracks grabbed the apple. "Obviously whoever dropped it meant me."

"If they were blind." Sunstreaker snatched the apple away. "I am definitely the fairest mech here."

Argument issued between the three and after a few minutes Soundwave came in. Seeing the apple, the three arguing mechs and the other concubines watching in mixtures of amusement and genuine fear as to what the three warrior mechs would do.

"Let go, Sunflower!" Tracks snarled.

"Ha! You admit that I am the most gorgeous mech here and let go!" Susntreaker punched Tracks' shoulder.

"In your dreams, seeker wannabes!" Starscream Kicked the two mechs, trying to jerk the chain away.

"Megatron's bitch!" The two other mechs snarled simultaneously at Starscream.

"Which is a position that you two could only dream of!"

Soundwave shook his head and walked over to the three mechs and grabbed the apple from the center of the triangle of arguing mechs.

"Soundwave, who is the fairest!" Starscream asked, glaring at the other two mechs. "Tell us." Soundwave shook his head.

"Situation: To be resolved by Megatron."

The last thing Soundwave needed was to explain the catfight to his Emperor.

oOo

Megatron looked at his two most attractive concubines and his Queen, the three mechs glaring at each other as Megatron held the apple in question.

It was really quite amusing.

Starscream pouted at his husband, walking up to him and batting his optics (basically turning them on and off very quickly) as he slid his chest over Megatron's.

"Who is the fairest, my glorious mate?" Starscream crooned softly and Megatron stared blankly at the slim body between his thighs, feeling his hardware heat up as Starscream pressed his flat abdomen to his crotch.

"Yes, Megatorn." Tracks and Sunstreaker flanked his sides, the golden haired mech trailing a hand seductively over Megatron's arm and shoulders while Tracks nuzzled at his jaw.

"How can I think when I'm being suffocated by affection." Megatron growled, shoving the three off of him. Starscream pouted and whined as he was practically pried off of his mate.

"But Megatron…"

"Starscream, you know that this would be so unfair on the others." Megatron purred, leaning back to smirk deviously to himself. "Soundwave. Summon Shockwave and all of my concubines. Shockwave shall decide who is the fairest."

Starscream pouted but smirked as he slowly turned away, a plan forming in his mind.