The Epic T-Rated Contest :)

4/27/09: So it seems like everyone has had an M rated contest going on. Daddy's Little Cannibal and I decided that we're finished with lemon contests, and want to create an Epic T Rated, One-Shot contest.

The rules are simple:

lemons.2. It must be rated T. has to have a line or reference to a cannibal.4. It has to have a line or reference to a fireman.5. Cannon pairings.6. Has to be a one-shot, but you're allowed to continue it once the contest is finished.

7. Must copy and paste these rules to the top of your entry. Two entries per person, collaborations acceptable.7. No lemons.

The contest will run until June 6th, 11:59 MST (Mountain Standard Time.) Submissions need to be posted to FF and must follow the rules above. The author needs to send a PM to either Daddy's Little Cannibal or myself telling us about their entry so we can add it to the C2 with the rest of the submissions.

Have fun with it! We look forward to reading your entries. :)

-Bronze and DLC

Eggs, Butter, Flour, Sugar and…Vanilla

"Eggs, butter, flour, sugar, and…" trailed off a five month pregnant Bella Cullen.

"Vanilla, Bella," said Jasper Hale, who was standing next to her.

"Could you get that Jasper?" Bella asked him. Jasper smiled and went off to find the vanilla.

"Emmett?" said Bella, pushing a few locks of her brown hair out of her face.

"Yes?" said a booming voice behind her, making her jump.

Bella put a hand over her heart, as it started to race. "Can you go get the eggs and butter, please?" Bella asked him, taking her hand off of her heart.

"Sure thing," he said, and then went off to retrieve his assigned items, his big form getting smaller with every large step he took.

"What about me love?" asked Bella's husband Edward Cullen, as he wrapped his arms around her, softly caressing her stomach.

"The flour and sugar please?" Bella asked sweetly.

"Sure thing, two bags of sugar and three of flour, right?" he asked.

"Yes."

Edward then left and Bella went walking around the store. She was looking for Jasper, but instead found Emmett, juggling eggs.

"Emmett!" scold Bella, as she walked over to him, "put the eggs down now!"

Emmett jumped and all of the eggs fell to the floor and on him. "Bella, you scared me," whined Emmett, as he started to put eggs and butter into the cart.

Bella put both hands on her hips and glared at Emmett, as Jasper then appeared. "What happened to you?" he asked Emmett.

"Bella scared me," said Emmett as Jasper put a few bottles of vanilla in the cart.

"You know I don't see why you make ginger bread cookies, I feel like a cannibal when I eat them," said Emmett, asked Edward appeared, his arms filled with bags of sugar and flour.

"What happened to you?" Emmett asked Edward.

Edward was covered head to toe in flour and looked like a ghost. "A bag spilt open when I reached for it, but what happened to you?" Edward asked Emmett.

"Emmett was being stupid and I scared him," said Bella, a small smile playing across her face.

"Nice Bella," said Edward smiling.

"So why are you making cookies again?" asked Jasper.

"For the hospital, the homeless shelter, policemen, and firemen. People who have had bad things happen to them or people who have saved other people," answered Bella, as the stood in line at the check out.

"You know Bella, you are pregnant. So you shouldn't be on your feet a lot, especial in a kitchen," said Emmett.

"Alice, Rosalie, and Esme are going to help, And your starting to sound like Edward, Emmett," said Bella, as she started checking out.

"Hey," said Edward, annoyed at her last comment.

"I still love you though," Bella said turning to her husband.

"Bella, I speak for everyone when I say: no one wants to see you and Edward make out in a grocery store," joked Emmett, his voice booming.

Bella and Edward glared at him, while Jasper rolled his eyes and started to grab bags of ingredients.

"Bella just think of this were in Emmett's car, so it'll smell like bad eggs and flour," said Jasper, as they started to head out of the store. Everyone was just a few steps behind him, but it was enough as in the next second and car came out of nowhere, sparing him with slash and dirty ice cold water.

Everyone burst out in laughter, as Jasper turned around soaking wet and filthy.

"This is the last time I'm ever shopping with any of you," said Bella as she started to walk towards Emmett massive jeep.

Edward, Emmett, and Jasper all stared at her, then Emmett turned to Edward and said, "I'm glade I don't actually have to live with her for the next four months."

"Shut up Emmett," said Edward, as he followed his wife.