It had been a while since Naruto had joined Sasuke's family for dinner. He knew the atmosphere between the Uchiha males could be a bit tense; however the promise of Mikoto's cooking was well worth the risk. He was removing his shoes when Sasuke grabbed his wrist, "Do not speak to my mother about females."

"What?" Naruto asked cocking his head to the side and looking at his friend only to see the look Sasuke wore when dodging Sakura's fist.

"If my mother says anything about a girl or woman block your mind and try to ignore it. Whatever you do, you must not mention a girl's name in her presence."

"Okay, Teme. Let's eat, I'm starved," Naruto exclaimed dismissing his friend's warning.

Dinner went by smoothly with Mikoto making small talk while the men in her family grunted monosyllabically while concentrating heavily on their food. "I saw Lady Hyuuga and her daughters today. Hinata has developed into such a lovely young woman. She's so kind and quiet. It's a shame Hizashi-san wasn't the oldest. Being the heir to such a prominent clan really doesn't suit her personality."

A look of pure terror crossed both Itachi and Sasuke's faces as they realized their mother was about make another not so subtle match-making attempt. They quickly shoved food into their mouths so they'd have a legitimate reason not to respond to her obvious baiting.

Naruto began speaking ignoring both Itachi and Sasuke's warning glances, "You're right Mikoto-baachan. Hinata is a really sweet girl. But I just don't get why she always wears that big heavy coat. I mean doesn't she get hot like everyone else?"

Sasuke buried himself deeper into his into rice as Itachi muttered something along the lines of "Foolish little brothers and their stupid friends."

"I'm sure she does get hot, Naruto. When we were girls her mother also wore an oversized parka to hide her large breasts," Mikoto explained causing Naruto to drop the chicken that was approaching his open mouth. "Even with the coat anyone who looks at Hinata can see she has a small waist and those curvy Hyuuga child-bearing hips. I'm sure she'll make some lucky man very happy one day."

Naruto turned a deathly pale and then bright red before settling on a vivid shade of pink as his teenage mind envisioned the type of happiness brought on by a cute girl with large breasts.

"Father, perhaps we should rent Mother to the Hokage and Kakashi. They've spent years trying to find a way to make Naruto be quiet."

Fugaku scratched his chin in contemplation while Itachi smirked in agreement. Perhaps his little brother wasn't so foolish.

Thank you to ecnal nogardnap for the terrific and fast beta read!