Title: Devirginization
Pairing: Hyuuga Neji and Haruno Sakura
Genre(s): Romance/Humor
Summary: Admittedly, he was a man. And, admittedly, he had hormones. But that didn't necessarily mean that their romance started because he accidentally touched her boob.
Theme: When Neji and Sakura bump into each other (literally), land in a suggestive position, and Ino sees, what hilarity will ensue as rumors are spread and the two actually fall for each other?
Rating: PG-15
Word Count: 4404
Beta: xx. false - deception
Warning: I'm honestly hoping there's enough fluff in this.

A request for Itachi's Only Love. :) For those who want to request something, go check out my page.

Disclaimed.
read&review.

Neji could hear her from a mile away, shinobi skills or not.

"Naruto! If you don't get back here, I swear to God, I'll pound you to a pulp!"

He was nothing more than an innocent bystander, heading towards the training grounds to meet up with the rest of his team. But, as it turned out, he wasn't an innocent bystander much longer.

An orange-clad Naruto rushed past him just as he turned the corner, and he found Haruno Sakura racing towards him at full speed, nothing more than a blur of red and pink. As it was, the medic was known for her fiery temper—especially when dealing with the Kyuubi container—and he did not intend to be part of their argument.

Apparently, fate thought otherwise.

He held his hands out in front of him immediately to buffer both him and her from the inevitable colliding of their bodies. When she all but body-slammed him, he grunted as they both fell to the dusty ground.

Well, wasn't this embarrassing. Hyuuga Neji just got run over by a girl.

"N-Neji!" said girl exclaimed in surprise. "Sorry! I didn't mean to run into you—Naruto was being stupid and he has one of my important scrolls—are you alri—" She then paled. "Where's…your hand?"

He blinked, and experimentally moved his fingers.

It was his turn to pale.

Oh, shit.

Color rushed to his cheeks as quickly as it drained from them. "I apologize—it was not intentional—" He was flustered, not knowing of what to say. Since when has this happened to him before? By golly, it was his first time touching something so precious belonging to a female.

Sakura quickly pulled herself to her feet. Her weight off of his body felt a little better, but it was still difficult to breathe.

He stared blankly at the hand offered to him. "Need some help? You look—"

"Hot and bothered."

Neji nearly fainted when those words reached his ears. He stood to his feet as quickly as he could and brushed the dirt off of himself before finding Yamanaka Ino standing with a hand on her hip, smirking at the two of them.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Get a life, Pig. It was an accident."

Yes, that was right. It was just an accident. Nothing intentional—surely, Sakura would understand that—

The blonde kunoichi then laughed sarcastically. "Yeah, he just devirginized your left boob by accident, y'know? No biggie."

Okay, Neji. It was time to get out of there. Now.

Face hot, he gave Sakura the lowest bow possible and a rushed and mumbled apology before escaping that damn street as fast as he could.

This was not a good start to his day.

x

The hell truly begun after lunch.

Neji was heading home to meditate, and perhaps train some more—but Naruto cut off his path, along with Shikamaru lazily walking behind him.

"Naruto," he greeted, out of the habit of being polite. "Shikamaru. Is there something you wanted to speak to me with?"

Naruto then furrowed his eyebrows. "Stop being such a hard-ass, Neji. Sakura-chan doesn't like people like that."

He choked on his own spit. "What?"

Shikamaru yawned. "We received information from Ino that you wish to…pursue Sakura." He had his hands tucked into the pockets of his green vest, eyes in their trademark half-closed manner. "I don't really trust what she says, but she's threatening to hide my hair bands from me if I don't help him." Then, he muttered under his breath, "Troublesome."

The Hyuuga swallowed thickly. "Buy some more?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "My hair's thick—I need the stronger kind. They're not worth the money."

"You can…have some of mine," he offered meekly. The last thing he wanted was to see Sakura again—especially after what happened this morning. He felt like he needed to go home and bleach his hand several times before he could feel even the slightest bit pure again.

What he had done—granted, accidentally—was so wrong.

The shadow-wielder shrugged. "Sure, but I already promised her—she'd go berserk on me if I said no now."

Clearing his throat, Neji was determined to regain his usual cool demeanor back. No Haruno Sakura was going to break that normal façade of his. "I'm not sure what Ino has planned, but I would like you to tell her that I hold no interest for Sakura whatsoever."

"No!" Naruto burst out. "Ino says you're just in denial. Come on, Neji—everyone loves Sakura-chan! Now, let's have a man-talk."

A man-talk? Since when did conversations between males have a name?

"I'm afraid I'm busy," he interjected. "I need to meditate and train—"

"One day of rest isn't going to do you any harm," Naruto reprimanded. "C'mon, let's go. Shikamaru, you too."

And that was how Neji found out what true hell felt like.

x

"Sakura-chan's beautiful, smart, strong"—Naruto was counting the good points of the pink-haired kunoichi off his fingers—"a medic, caring, understanding—did I mention beautiful?"

Neji rubbed his temples with a hand. "Yes, you did."

He never knew that a walk from Ichiraku to Naruto's apartment could take so long.

"Neji!"

Oh, God. Not Gai and Lee.

Lee's eyes were sparkling—with tears, Neji was afraid—as he approached his teammate. "I've been hearing things around town about you pursuing Sakura-san! Is this true?"

What was he supposed to say? Yes? No? Technically, he wasn't, but apparently, he was—he didn't even know what was going on anymore. "I have no idea." His hands clenched and unclenched, and his lips tightened into a thin line.

Gai then proceeded to gush to his favorite student about rivalry, love, and defeating Neji no matter what, even if they were brothers—brothers?—because Sakura belonged to him.

He couldn't help but snort at that. If anything, Sakura did not belong to Lee.

"That's all fine and dandy"—he had never been so grateful for Shikamaru's presence before—"but we're going to go now."

Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "We have business to attend to, don't we, Neji?" The Hyuuga stiffened a little. "Y'know, battle plans. As long as he has us on our side, he's not going to lose to you, Bushy Eyebrows!"

Neji kind of wanted to crawl into a hole and die. The last thing he wanted was to be love rivals with Lee.

"Is it true, Neji?"

No. No, no, no, no, no—not Tenten, too. Tenten was the last person he wanted to know about what happened between him and Sakura. (And, subsequently, what was going to happen between him and Sakura.)

But he couldn't find the words to deny it.

"Believe what you want," he said curtly, turning away. There was a small period in his life when he thought he felt something towards his female teammate, and he didn't really want to face her right now. It was sort of shameful to him.

Her reaction was very different from what he had expected, though.

"Oh, that's great! Ino was right—you are in denial. I'm going to go talk to Sakura right now!" After receiving a brief hug, she bounded away.

What?

x

"Dinner etiquette," Shikamaru said as he paced back and forth in front of Neji, who was near unconsciousness sitting on Naruto's bed, "is very different from date etiquette—even if said date is a dinner."

"Cliché things include picking her up, pulling out her chair for her, and complimenting on how beautiful she is," Naruto told him, the most serious that he'd ever seen him. Neji memorized every word they said—because, after all, he'd be screwed if they gave him a pop quiz. "Except, Sakura-chan doesn't like any of that."

"Then what was the point of telling me?"

"Because you can use them as a last resort, just in case you fail at everything else." The blonde rolled his eyes. "Obviously."

No, he was tempted to snap. It wasn't obvious at all. And he wouldn't fail, either. This wasn't a mission.

"Then enlighten me, please," he said with a forced calm about him, "what Sakura-san does like." And remind him why the hell he was doing this, because, seriously, he didn't even like her. Why was he taking lessons on what to do when taking her on a date?

He only…devirignized her boob, after all. Accidentally, of course.

"Listen, Neji!" Naruto pointing at him accusingly. "You'd better be taking notes! This is important stuff!"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't insult my learning skills when you have none of your own."

Shikamaru promptly sat down beside him with a tired sigh. "Since Naruto's the one who knows Sakura best, he'll be the one telling you what she likes the most. Then, I'll use that information to plan the perfect date."

Neji had to admit, though, that wasn't too bad of a plan. Even if he didn't have any particular feelings for the pink-haired medic, he'd have her in the palm of his hand by the end of this.

So, with that Hyuuga pride, he decided to take on this challenge.

"Okay, so here's how it goes…"

He sighed. It was going to be a tiring challenge, though.

x

The date was to take place two days later.

Despite it being two days—a mere forty-eight hours—the rumors went flying.

People were saying that they were going out in secret. Just hours ago, Hinata actually—actually!—asked him if he liked doing "naughty" things in public, because it added to the excitement. And, much to his horror, even Konohamaru, the Third's grandson, came up and asked him if they were sex buddies.

On the other hand, Sakura was keeping her cool rather well, calmly telling everyone who asked that she and Neji had absolutely no relationship like that whatsoever—but, Neji, on the other hand, was going mad.

"This is crazy," he muttered to Shikamaru. "This is going around like gossip at the academy."

The shadow wielder shrugged. "Well, it's not every day that Hyuuga Neji is discovered to have hormones."

Hey. That was out of line. He did have hormones. Geez.

"I wonder if it's worth it." As they passed the hospital, the Hyuuga kept his eyes on it, seeing in his mind Sakura working as she tended to patients. Now that he thought about it, she was quite a superb kunoichi and medic.

Shikamaru laughed dryly. "Everything's worth it for love. Says Ino."

"I don't love her," he muttered—although he was sure no one was going to believe him on that.

He wasn't very close friends with her. Love didn't even come into the picture.

That was right. Neji didn't love Haruno Sakura.

x

Okay, so maybe he liked her. Just a teensy weensy bit. But it wasn't as if it actually meant anything.

Once he thought about it, everyone liked Haruno Sakura. It was kind of inevitable, really, with her ever-cheerful personality and strong façade; always putting others before her and never letting others know that she was suffering, too—

Okay, Neji, shut up. Listing out her good points only made things worse.

"When you ask her out," Naruto had said, "be straightforward, but subtle at the same time. Make it look like you're embarrassed, but you're too proud to show it."

How could you even be straightforward and subtle at the same time?

"Neji?" The medic looked surprised that he would randomly show up in the hospital's cafeteria during her coffee break. "What are you doing here?" In her hand was a styrofoam cup of steaming coffee, most likely produced by the vending machine. Inwardly, he shuddered; vending machine coffee sucked. He would know.

Okay. He was going to ask her out. Screw being straightforward-subtle-embarrassed-proud—he was just going to do it.

Except, it was a problem when nothing would come out of his open mouth.

So there he stood, for a good five seconds, in the middle of the hospital cafeteria with his mouth open while female nurses gawked and giggled at him.

Man, this sucked.

"Neji…?" Sakura tilted her head to the side in question and inspected his face closely. He could just barely feel her breath brushing his lips, and he immediately flinched, shutting his mouth in the process.

"I would like to take you to dinner tonight," he forced out, the words coming out in a jumble. He wasn't good in this field—Hyuuga Neji had never dated a girl before.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Dinner?"

"Yes. Dinner."

She gave him a funny look.

Shit. She was going to say no. She was thinking about how he had the most uncontrollable hormones, and how touching her left boob by accident gave him the biggest (and only) hard-on of his life—

"Sure." She smiled. "It'll have to be a little later, though—I'm due to conduct a surgery this evening."

…Or maybe not.

He nodded, feeling satisfied with himself. "Alright. What time would fit your schedule?"

She thought for a moment. "Would around nine work for you?"

Two minutes later, a smirking Neji emerged the hospital as the victor.

x

"Alright, listen, man," Naruto said, looking stressed. "You can't mess this up. You can't. I'm living through you. Lee's living through you. Shikamaru's living through you." The shadow wielder looked too tired to object. "Sasuke, somewhere, is living through you. All of the men who once were in love with Sakura-chan, and still are—are living through you."

It didn't surprise Neji when the pressure on his shoulders seemed to increase tenfold.

"We've gone through the details." The Jinchuuriki began to pace back and forth again. "You remember them all, right?" Neji nodded dutifully. "Good. Now, your goal: get a kiss before the end of tonight."

He choked on his own spit.

"What?"

Just the mere thought of getting a kiss—kissing was for close lovers only! Never on the first date—with Sakura, no less—

"Naruto, I think you just traumatized him." Shikamaru waved a hand in front of his face. "Do you know how dangerous it is to get a kiss from Sakura?"

"For me, maybe. But Neji"—he felt a little nauseous—"Neji can do anything. Right? Neji?"

Kissing Sakura…

"Oh my God, Shikamaru! Can you see that? He's blushing!" Naruto's laughter filled the room, before he snapped out of his reverie. Shit. He was blushing? He looked away indignantly with a trademark Hyuuga-slash-Uchiha hn.

Okay. Maybe people were right. He was in denial. He did like her. And not just a teensy weensy bit. Maybe a little more than that. Maybe a lot.

And it wasn't because he touched her boob, okay?

"I cannot kiss her," he finally said with resolution. "It's improper—"

"Fuck you and your stupid Hyuuga manners. Seriously." Naruto looked at him pointedly. "This is the real world, Neji. The real world gets it on." Somewhat bewildered by his language, Neji stood up and stalked out of the blonde's apartment.

He could win over this medic by himself without "getting it on".

x

Okay, maybe not.

He wasn't going to go all the way and say she was beautiful, but she did have the body of a female. It was only more obvious when she wasn't in her usual red and black attire.

And, if he hadn't mentioned it before, he liked female bodies. Very much.

"Neji…" His name was drawn out slowly from her lips as she waved a hand in front of him. He snapped out of his reverie to see Sakura giving him an inquiring look. "Are you feeling alright? For the past couple of minutes, you've been kind of…out of it."

He shook his head. "I'm quite fine, really. How is your ice cream?" He nodded towards her dessert.

A bright smile stretched across her features—a moment that he was sure to catalogue in his memory, because, damn, Haruno Sakura was really pretty when she smiled. "It's good. Did you know I always hated having chocolate ice cream as a child, because I thought strawberry looked better and matched my hair, even though chocolate has always been my favorite flavor?"

He raised an eyebrow, scooping a little of his lemon sherbet. "That's a strange way of looking at it. Almost everyone likes chocolate ice cream—you wouldn't have been the only one."

The kunoichi wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, but I thought it looked like a ball of mud. Or poop. Then, in a way, it kind of ruined my appetite, even though I always regretted it later." Then, she laughed. (He couldn't help but notice right then how innocent she looked, in contrast to how she is on the battlefield.) "It was pretty silly, wasn't it?"

Somehow, he found a smirk-smile (because he didn't actually smile) reach his lips. "Perhaps. But we were all silly as children." He paused. "Does it still look like poop to you now?"

"No. And thank God, too."

If the date continued on like this, he thought in panic, he'll never get that kiss by the end of tonight. They were only talking like friends—not like lovers.

Wait. How did lovers talk, anyway? Was there some sort of code, or something?

"Sir, would you like the bill?" the waiter asked, suddenly appearing. Those were some pretty ninja skills right there; Neji didn't even notice his presence.

"Yes, please."

When they left the restaurant, he took her for a walk around the village. It was a comfortable silence—well, it sort of. He was too busy planning what he should say and do next to really notice it. Seriously, Neji sucked at pursuing women.

"I like your hair," he said suddenly, forcing himself to keep looking forward. If he glanced at her now, that'd ruin everything. Naruto said he had to sound sincere. Did he sound sincere?

An awkward silence followed.

"Thanks…I guess." He heard her laugh nervously. "Did you know I used to keep it long for Sasuke?"

"Yes, that was the rumor that floated around back then."

"It was stupid, really." She sighed. "Changing myself just for someone, I mean. If he didn't like me the way I was, then didn't that just mean that he's not worth my time? Why should I change for anyone but myself?"

He felt a smile tugging at his lips, but kept it back. It turned into a smirk. "That's a nice way of looking at things."

Sakura was on a roll now. Neji didn't really like listening to girls ramble, but she was talking about something…something real (he wasn't sure how to describe it), which was usually unlike how Tenten usually complained about Gai and Lee. It had thought. It was different.

"I mean, who tells a girl 'thank you' after their confession of love, knocks her out and leaves her on a bench to catch a cold? He's obviously not worth my time. Naruto and Kakashi-sensei taught me that. I liked my hair short after I cut it during the chuunin exams. It kind of felt like…I was moving on, and not depending on Sasuke anymore, even though I still liked him. I don't like him anymore—his heart is twisted with revenge and hatred and, ew, I'd hate a boyfriend like that."

He couldn't help but chuckle at the last statement. "No, I don't think boyfriends like that would be very enjoyable to be around."

There was silence for a moment. "Sorry." Upon glancing at her, he found a sheepish smile stretching across her lips. "I don't think you want to listen to me talking about these things. What would you like to talk about?"

He shrugged lightly as they rounded the corner to the academy. "Various subjects."

"Like what?"

He raised an eyebrow when she made her way to the swings a little ways from the building. In certain ways, she was still a child at heart.

He thought for a moment. "I do enjoy thought-provoking conversations. Tell me more about Sasuke. I'm interested in your transition from him, to…other things." He was hoping that he could change the direction of the conversation to one where he could say things and win her over.

Hah, as if it was that easy.

"Well…" The kunoichi pondered it for a moment as she swung lightly back and forth on the swing she was sitting on. "I supposed I began really moving on when Tsunade-shishou took me in. It was an epiphany of sorts?" As she talked, he made his way closer to her and sat on the ground beside her. "I was thinking about how I was never useful, even though I always scolded Naruto for not doing anything. And then I realized that Sasuke probably never liked me because I wasn't that great myself."

He closed his eyes for a moment, concentrating on the sound of her voice and the gentle creaking of the swing. Somehow, it was soothing; reminding him of his childhood, and perhaps, a close friend he could trust.

"But then, when we found him again when he was sixteen, he didn't even spare me a glance, even after I got so much stronger—so I decided that, even though he was still worth my time, he wasn't worth my heart. It's not that complicated, really."

He pondered it for a moment, content that she'd share this information with him. "I see."

"What about you? Any romantic endeavors?"

A chuckle escaped his lips at the ironic question. "Not any as of yet—although I'm planning to do something soon."

The squeaking of the swing promptly stopped. "Really? It's Tenten, isn't it?" When he looked up at her with a raised eyebrow, she laughed. "Well, I don't know—that would be everyone's first guess, I think."

"Actually, no," he said carefully. "It's…someone else."

"Ooh, who is it?"

Girls will be girls, he supposed. Medic or not, she was still a sucker for gossip.

"Are you really that curious?" His heart began beating faster—it was an unfamiliar feeling, actually; he was rarely nervous when not in battle. When their eyes locked again, he couldn't help but notice that her eyes were sparkling with anticipation and curiosity.

He couldn't help but smirk grimly at the thought of his confession being rejected.

"Of course!" She giggled. "I mean, Hyuuga Neji…You haven't had a girlfriend before, have you?"

"No."

"Then who's the lucky one?"

Blunt, Naruto had straight. Straightforward. Look her straight in the eye. Overwhelm her. She likes that…I think. Well, that was what Sasuke would do, anyway. He didn't appreciate being compared to Uchiha Sasuke, but if that was what would win her over…

Neji stood up, suddenly feeling strangely confident in himself. It was the first time in a while that he'd felt adrenaline different from that in battle, but he liked it.

Sakura raised both eyebrows in question as she looked up at him.

Straightforward. Blunt. Overwhelming.

"I'm pursuing you," he said with a surge of certainty. "I like you, Sakura."

Silence.

…Well, maybe that didn't go as well as planned.

"Oh." She let out a laugh, somewhat surprised and strangled, he noted. "That's…surprising." Her voice was higher than it usually was, and she averted his gaze. Dammit—that obviously didn't have the affect he wanted to have. What was he supposed to do now? "It…doesn't have to do with that whole…devirginization thing, does it?"

He cringed. "Please don't remind me."

There was another silence.

Okay, this was beginning to get awkward. Shit. Naruto's plan didn't even come near succeeding. Some best friend of hers he was.

Straightforward. Blunt. Overwhelming.

Should he try to overwhelm her more? God, he could see his reputation just going downhill from here on out. The Hyuuga's name would be tarnished, and he'd be looked down for the rest of his life…

"I like you," he repeated. "It has nothing to do that…that incident. I like you." Just…overwhelm her. Yeah, that was it.

She laughed. "I heard you the first time! But—I don't know"—he prepared himself for the blow—"I don't think Naruto would approve of it much." Or maybe not? "I mean, he beat Kiba up for asking me on a date…"

"That's because he brought you to a dirty bar."

"I was the one who introduced him to it—shishou brought me there all the time. It was sort of a thing between us." She laughed. "But I suppose Naruto doesn't approve of dirty bars."

"Do you believe he'll approve of me?" Wait, why did that even matter? "More importantly, do you approve of me?" He stared down at her sitting on the swing, and she looked up at him, a mix of innocence and hidden wrath.

Man, those two things didn't really go together.

"Mm…" She placed a finger to her chin. "I think so." He hated the way his heart skipped a beat at those words.

The swing creaked a little when she stood up, closing the distance between them with a single step. There wasn't a sign of hesitance when her arms wrapped around his waist, nose pressing into the crook of his neck.

It was a nice position, he decided; nothing too much, but just enough. With uncertainty, he placed a hand on her head and pressed his lips to her hair.

God, dealing with girls was nerve-wracking. He had no idea what to do. Shikamaru should've taught him about what happened after he won her over.

Wait. Holy shit. He won her over.

Yeah, he won!

"Tell me," she said softly, voice laced with amusement, "what makes me the lucky one?" He'd never felt a female body so close to his before; it was something completely new; the beating heart, the warmth, the fragrance, the intimacy—it was all so strong and faint at the same time.

"Perhaps…fate," he said after a moment of contemplation. Hell if she was going to find out it all started with him touching her boob.

"Mm." Her grip tightened around his waist and she was looking up at him and holy shit she was a lot closer than he had originally thought and how any of this started was definitely the last thing on his mind.

She kissed him.

(Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he yelled triumphantly. Mission accomplished.)

-

-

-

"The last time I checked, voyeurism wasn't in, Naruto."

"Shut up, Shikamaru—I told you, I'm living through him!"

A/N: I tried adding a lot of fluff. I did. But somehow, it doesn't feel like there's any at all.

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while; I had my History IV exam just last Friday (who else has had the honor of going through RCM Examinations' pain?), and I had to study. Like mad. Yeah, it wasn't cool. Wasn't sure if I passed, but, eh, what's done is done.

This went through a lot of rewrites so it could even just barely fit the prompt. I rarely ever rewrite things—I'm like Mozart!—so this is new for me. Hope it was good enough?

Vote in my poll, too, please?