A few things in Season Four have been bothering me lately: In Big Bother, why didn't Ron want to tell Yori that he was dating Kim? In Clothes Minded, which appears to occur just after Big Bother (Kim is still wearing her old mission clothes in BB, and gets her new outfit in CM), why did Kim apply to schools overseas without telling Ron? And, since these were serious developments that could have proven troublesome to the relationship of our favorite teen heroes, why in the closing credits of Clothes Minded did everything seem fine between them during their visit to prison to bust the Fashionistas? Finally, if Kim applied to just a few schools, as suggested by the slim folder she showed her parents at the end of Clothes Minded, why was she inundated with acceptance letters in Graduation? In short, while Ron Stoppable might ask 'how?', your humble author asks 'why?' Hopefully you will agree with the answers I have offered in this story, which takes place sometime between the end of Clothes Minded and that episode's credits kicker.
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KP © Disney.
"Yo, Red, your hair could really use some more body," Motor Ed said as he aimed what appeared to be a tube of hair gel at Kim.
"And a man with a bad Eighties haircut is offering me styling advice why?" she said as she did a hand spring, sending her over and behind the mulleted villain.
"Do not diss the lion's mane!" he shot back as he spun around with surprising speed, then squirted the tube's contents at the teen hero. "Seriously."
"I can't believe you did that," Kim said as she looked down at the spot on her purple mission top. "That so better not stain!"
"Staining is the least of your problems," Ed said as he began to play air guitar. "Ye—aaaaaaah!"
"Nobody messes with Ron Stoppable's girlfriend," Ron said as he ran towards Ed. "Dude, you are going down!"
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"I don't think so," Ed said, grinning, as he sprayed Ron.
"Seriously?" Ron asked as he looked at his now-stained shirt.
"Seriously."
"Would you two stop that?" Kim asked.
"Seriously?" Ed and Ron asked.
"Seriously," Kim snapped before she looked down and gasped. The gel that Ed had sprayed on her was spreading quickly and gaining in volume. Within moments, she was encased up to her neck in a mound of lurid pink goo.
"This is so gorchy!" Kim observed.
"KP!" Ron cried out, then realized that what had happened to Kim was happening to him, too. "You won't get away with this!" he added, mustering as much bravado as someone trapped in a squishy pink mountain can.
"Actually, skinny dude, I will," Ed said as he pulled out another tube and walked over to Kim.
"That so better not be mind control shampoo," Kim growled as Ed squirted some of the tube's contents on her head.
"Mind control shampoo? That sounds totally righteous," Ed said. "You know where I can get some?"
"Try Aisle 37 at Smarty Mart," Ron suggested. "Discontinued novelty items."
"Not helping," Kim said testily to her boyfriend before she turned her attention back to the villain-du-jour. "If that's not mind control shampoo, what is it?"
"Volumizer. I told you, your hair needs more body," Ed said as he began to rub it into her hair. "You'll thank me for this, Red. Seriously," he noted. "Well, gotta go. There's a righteous monster truck derby that me and the guys are gonna crash."
"Hey, what about me?" Ron asked, feeling left out.
"Sorry, skinny dude, but your hair needs way more than body. Maybe you should try a baby mullet like Cousin Drew."
Kim and Ron watched helplessly as Motor Ed left the empty warehouse.
"Do I want to know?" she asked as she turned her attention to her boyfriend.
Ron looked anywhere but at Kim.
"Spill," she demanded, fearing the worst.
Ron sighed. "You remember earlier this fall when you tried to stop Motor Ed when he was breaking Shego out of jail and he threw you with that mechanical arm thingie?"
"Yes," she said.
"Okay, you remember how your hair looked after you landed in that safety goop?"
"Unfortunately, yes," Kim groaned. "It's that bad?"
"Uh, the new do's even more flattering than before?" he said weakly.
"Oh, great," Kim groused. "This is so not happening."
"Tell me about it," Ron agreed. "First I have to miss the GWA Smackdown so we can go see Remains of the Day of the Accordion, now this."
"Remains of the Day of the Piano," Kim said before adding, "And I thought you liked going on dates with your girlfriend?"
"I do," Ron said defensively. "It's just that sometimes a man likes to enjoy the finer things in life."
"And fake wrestling has what to do with the finer things in life?"
"Ha, Ha, Kim," Ron said. "Mock all you want. You don't see me making fun of your cuddle buddies."
"Sorry," she said. "If it was so important to you, you should have told me about the slapdown—"
"Smackdown," Ron corrected her, eliciting a roll of the eyes from Kim. "And I did."
"My bad," Kim said sheepishly, as she had a vague recollection of Ron mentioning something involving Steel Toe and Pain King. "If I'd known it was so important to you—"
"You would have gone?" Ron asked hopefully.
"Uh, no," Kim said. "Wrestling's so not my thing. But you could have gone and we could have seen the movie another time."
"I'll remember that in the future," Ron said. "Not that it matters since you're going to dump me."
"Excuse me?" Kim said.
"It's okay, KP," Ron said. "I'm sure you'll meet some guy who doesn't waste his time with fake wrestling."
"What are you talking about?" she asked, stunned by Ron's comment.
"College," Ron said bitterly. "You could have at least told me you were planning to go to some fancy-pants school in some hoity-toity foreign country next year. I guess the Ronman isn't part of your post-high school life."
"That's not true," Kim snapped.
"Then why didn't you tell me before I filed all those applications?"
"Because you needed to apply to the schools you wanted to attend."
"I just want to attend the place that will let me in," Ron said. "And one that has a good student center with lots of video games and an on-campus Bueno Nacho and—"
"Setting our sights high, are we?"
"Hey, we can't all be honor roll students," Ron said. "Somebody has to earn those C plusses so you A types can benefit from the curvage."
"You are so flawed," Kim said.
"At least I didn't keep my so-called boyfriend in the dark about my plans," he gibed. "I don't even see what the big deal is about going overseas."
"It's a big world, which I'd like to experience without henchmen trying to hit me for once."
"Even if that involves leaving me behind?"
"Nobody said anything about leaving you behind," she groaned. "Since your only criteria for deciding where you go to college is the availability of food, you can always go to school overseas, too. And, it's not as if we can't do a long distance relationship if you want to stay here. I'm sure Wade can make you a Kimmunicator and I've got so many favors to call in, we'll be able to see each other whenever we want."
"Pretty words, KP," Ron said. "You say that now but when you meet some prince with brainage or billionaire X Games athlete, it's going to be sayanora city for Ron Stoppable. Besides, maybe I don't want a girlfriend on the other side of the world."
"You could sure fool me," Kim grumbled.
"Huh?" he replied, caught off guard.
"Maybe you can fill me in on the Yori sitch," she explained as she glared at Ron.
"What Yori sitch?" he asked.
"The one where you seemed totally uninterested in telling her that you're off the market," she snapped. "Keeping your options open?"
"No!" Ron protested.
"Then do enlighten me. It sure looked like you didn't want her to know you and I are dating."
"Look, it's not what you think."
"Then what is it?
"You know, this stuff is getting in my socks," he said as he squirmed. "Not to mention in my—"
"So don't need to know!" Kim interjected.
"Gotcha," Ron said. "So, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, I heard that Cow and Chow—"
"I don't think so," Kim said, her voice glacial. "So, Stoppable-san: Explanation. Now. What's the stinkin' sitch with you and Yori?"
"There is no sitch," he said. "You gotta believe me!"
"Riiiiigggggght," she said acidly. "That's why when I suggested you share the big news you began to tell her about Sacky rather than us."
"I like her liking me," he mumbled.
"I couldn't hear you," Kim prodded.
"I said I like her liking me," he repeated, this time audibly.
Kim stared daggers at Ron.
"No! No!" he sputtered. "It's not like that!"
"Then how is it?" she demanded.
"I like the attention," he said, defeated. "There, you satisfied?"
Kim looked at him in puzzlement. "Actually, confused."
"Look, you wouldn't understand," Ron protested feebly.
"Try me," she encouraged. "I can do anything, even understand what's going on in that thick head of yours."
Ron took a deep breath. "It's badical to have a pretty girl have it bad for me."
Kim glowered at him. "Oh? I'm not good enough?"
"What do you mean?"
"Newsflash: I have it bad for you," Kim said. "Are you saying I'm not pretty?"
"Kim, Kim, Kim," Ron replied. "You're not pretty …"
Kim's nostrils flared.
"… You're way beyond pretty. You're beautiful."
Kim, despite her anger with Ron, blushed. "Thanks," she said.
"Hey, the truth will set you free," he said nonchalantly. "Except when it gets you into trouble."
Kim snorted.
"Look," Ron said. "Yori's always looked up to me and, though I didn't know it until after that whole Amy/Monty thing, like liked me. Me: Ron Stoppable. She wasn't into other guys. She was into me right from the beginning …" he said, his words trailing off before he looked away.
Kim grimaced before she said, "Unlike other girls who were into Josh or Bobby or Eric."
"Yeah," Ron said.
Kim took a deep breath. "Ron, how long did you like like me before you told me how you felt?"
He shrugged, or at least tried to, given that he was immobilized by modified pink hair gel. "At least since the Moodulator, though that's not the first time I'd thought about it."
"When was that?"
"When I was crushing on Zita."
"Excuse me?"
"We were at the movie theatre and I was worried that she'd see us and think we were a couple and you acted as if that was the dumbest thing I'd ever said."
"Oh," Kim said, abashed.
"You know, I'd never even thought of you and me as an 'us' until then, but then, well … Man, did it hurt, being dissed by my own best friend."
"Who, in her defense, woke up and realized that dating you was a ferociously good idea."
"You really thought that?"
Kim nodded. "I still do."
"For reals?"
"For reals," Kim said.
"You're not breaking up with me?" Ron asked.
"No," Kim answered. "You're stuck with me, assuming we ever get out of this stuff."
"So what do we do next?"
"For starters, promise each other that if something's bugging us we'll share it and not wait for things to blow up. I so don't like fighting with you."
"I'm all about us not fighting," Ron agreed.
"I'm also going to have to look at some schools here in the States," Kim said. Seeing Ron was about to argue, she continued, "If you're applying to universities overseas, then I can apply to some here. College is important to me, but so are you."
"Thanks," Ron said. "That means a lot to the Ronman."
"No big," she said. "After all, anything's possible for a Possible, even going to a great school and having her Ronman nearby. But you have to do something, too."
Ron gulped. "Don't talk to Yori anymore?"
"No," Kim said, shaking her head as she recalled the conversation she'd had with the ninja when they were tied up and recovering the shrine key while surrounded by lava. "She's your friend. I'm okay with that," she said before mumbling, "I think."
"Okay, then what's the catch?"
"I need you to believe in yourself."
"Sha! I already do!"
"Not enough," Kim said, ruefully. "You're an amazing guy, Ron Stoppable, but sometimes you let your insecurities get so out of control."
"I do not," Ron said indignantly.
"And yet you stole my super suit."
"It was secret borrowing and, and, I didn't want to lose you."
"Which wasn't going to happen. You're the guy I want to date, Ron. Nobody else."
"It sounds good, KP, but, I gotta tell you, sometimes it just seems unbelievable. I mean, you're beautiful, smart, athletic and me …"
"You're cute, creative, and brave," she said, cutting him off. "Not to mention you're the star of the football team, work for one of the five richest men in the world, and appeal to pretty girls like Yori and Tara. If anybody needs to be worried, it's me."
"Okay, that's cheating. You're using my logic against me."
"All's fair in love and war," Kim said smugly. "And since we're done fighting …"
"So, I just have to be Ron Stepuppable and we're Chauncey?"
"Pretty much. I don't think you realize how much I like it when you step up your game," Kim said.
"I'll have to remember that," Ron said as he waggled his eyebrows.
Kim chuckled, but then her expression turned contemplative.
"I owe you an apology."
"For what? Me missing the GWA?"
"No," she said. "I just have to remember not to take you for granted just because you've always had my back and been there for me. The more I think about this college admissions sitch, the worse I feel."
"Don't," Ron said. "We've both had a lot going on and you had to deal with your Mom and Dad trying to get you to go to their schools and find some new mission threadage. Stir in Mister B as our guidance counselor and, well ..."
"Thanks," she said. "Speaking of Mister Barkin, did I tell you that when we met to talk about my apps, he gave me a shrimping brochure?"
"Aww, man, you get all the good stuff," Ron groused.
Kim cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "And you've been interested in a fishing career since when?"
"Fishing? You mean he wasn't talking about eating shrimp scampi and stuff?" Ron asked.
Kim rolled her eyes, then looked fondly at her boyfriend. "You are too much, Ron Stoppable."
"Hey, I'm just inspired by my bon-diggety girlfriend."
Kim smiled. "I'm most def keeping you around."
"Back atcha, KP," the tow-headed young man said with a goofy grin, before he began wriggling uncomfortably again. "Man, this stuff is everywhere. Now it's even in my—"
"TMI!" his auburn-haired girlfriend called out with alarm.
After all, while the young couple had just been reminded of the importance of good communications in a healthy relationship, there were some things Kim Possible so didn't need to know …
The End.