She glanced around everywhere but at the man before her. Wringing at her hands nervously she hated the man before her, he thought of her as nthing more than a nut job. She saw how he stared at her and the look in his eyes was nothing but assesive and he had cold harsh dark brown eyes that pierced right through you. She hid behind her long fringe as his piercing questions hit me harder. He kept bringing up all of her memories she kept harboured deep down inside of her, all she wanted to do was go and hide in Adam's strong protective arms, but she hadn't seen him for almost 3 months now. she missed looking into his eyes and feeling his touch against her's. she glanced up into those dark brown eyes again. They were as cold as before they didn't care about her, they only cared about their pay check and it showed through the questions he was asking just the harsh undertone in them it made her feel like she didn't matter and she knew she didn't, she didn't matter to anyone except Adam and the one person who she couldn't be with. She had asked many times if she could visit him and she heard of him asking about how she was as well. What she didn't understand is why they weren't allowed to be together. They said something about not wanting him to relapse and they apparently had her under suicide watch. What they couldn't seem to comprehend was the fact that they were pushing her towards suicide even more when they are separating her from Adam. As she sat there listening to everything he was asking her and the personal jabs he took at her emotions she wandered how stupid a psychiatrists had to be before they asked these types of questions. She looked up at him tears streaming down her face and she opened her mouth to speak the only words she would have said in a month " I want to see Adam" she whimpered before covering her heads with her hands and the scars form when she tried to commit suicide shone in the light. They were jagged and harshly pale. The silver tears ran down her face and sparkled under the light she felt so alone in her room of white. It started to bring back her the voice in her head. She curled into herself and closed her eyes wanting nothing more then the voices to stop she hated it here by herself. The voice echoed inside her head " he doesn't want to see you and you know it!" she said, closing her eyes alex responded " yes he does he said he loves me and I believe him" her body began to tremble under the harsh words. Everything the voice was saying made her doubt everything that she thought to be true she never thought of herself as insane before but she was beginning to consider the concept now. she trembled more before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed unconscious she could take any of this anymore it was all pushing to the edge taking her one step closer.
I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
You'll find that out anyway (Just like before)
Everything you say to me
(Takes me one step closer to the edge) (And I'm about to break) I need a little room to breathe
('Cause I'm one step closer to the edge) (I'm about to break)
curling up in a ball in her all white room her thoughts jumbled together and nothing made sense anymore. She felt lost and broken she needed some one there to pick up the pieces. Trembling tears flooded onto the floor around. She wish it would all stop and just go away. She wished she was never born and wished it would just end, wanting to disintegrate into the ground and not exist anymore there seemed no other way out of this horrid place.
Hearing the door opens he looked up and saw people come in with a white shirt, she scrambled backwards and into the corner trying to escape as they were bringing the strait jacket towards her. Tears ran faster down her face as her heart pounded in her chest fear gripped her body she shook her head no not wanting that cruel harness placed around her. My memories flashed before my eyes I wish none of this had happened I wish the blood did not stain my hands . I wished I was not the one to stop my father's heart bear. It was all reflex to get away but it was still my hands his blood stained and now I was paying for it with my sanity. I struggled with small whimpers as they wrapped the cruel white harness around me. Tears rolled even more freer then before I was now stuck and surrouned but everything that was utterly white I couldn't take it anymore nothing seemed to make sense. My life didn't matter it made no sense and wasn't make anything of itself. Looking into the eyes of my captures I knew they felt the same and I knew all of them wished I didn't exist they all thought it would make their lives that much easier if they were to just find me dead one day lying on this pure white floor dead painting the floor red once again but they couldn't let that happen no matter how much they wished it would. They had to restrain most of them when hoping for my death were only hoping for it for their greater benefit not to put me out of my mysery because to them I was nothing I ment nothing I was never going to mean anything or make anything of myself. I was a usless thing that just took up time and space none of them really cared that is why they wouldn't put me with Adam because he had promise and I didn't so they didn't want me poisoning his pure mind. But just because Amanda wasn't out at the moment doesn't mean she wouldn't ever come back because I knew better if knew she would be back and I wanted to be with him before she came back and took over him compeletly. I now knew how I felt about him. I loved him and never wanted to be parted form him ever again I needed him to live my life. I couldn't make it with out him because with out him my life ment nothing I was just one more nut job sitting alone in an all white room in an all white outfit with a cruel white harness suppressing them with no hope of getting any better. I needed him and I was going to see him if it was the last thing I did.
I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I found bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away Over and over again
(Just like before)
Everything you say to me
(Takes me one step closer to the edge) (And I'm about to break)
I need a little room to breathe
('Cause I'm one step closer to the edge) (I'm about to break)