Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me; they belong to the amazing J.K. Rowling

A/N: Unfortunately this is the last chapter. I was planning to make 10 chapters but it seemed wrong to split this one down the middle, so I just made it extra long lol. Thank you for reading my story and for all of the lovely reviews. Hopefully I'll write some new stuff when the ideas surface. Enjoy this last chapter!

Chapter Nine

"Now tell me what's going on Sirius" Remus said calmly, sitting on his four-poster bed and gesturing for Sirius to do the same.

Sirius hesitantly sat down.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I overreacted. I don't know what came over me" Sirius said quietly, looking down at his clasped hands.

Remus had never seen Sirius like this. So awkward and still; frozen into a state of genuine remorse. Remus suddenly had a strong urge to throw his arms around Sirius and for once, he complied.

Sirius stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed into Remus' arms, resting his head on the crook of Remus' elbow, his hands splayed across Remus' arm.

They were silent for several moments, simply holding each other. It was probably the first time they had been truly naked together; no words were needed, just the simple contact of two bodies, finally expressing what their voices could not, that they needed each other and that was okay.

For two adolescent teenage boys however; this revelation was too soon to be expressed and was shadowed by a much more prominent emotion; fear.

Remus reluctantly drew away from Sirius. "So what was the problem with Delilah? I still don't understand".

Sirius looked down again. "I just wondered if you liked her…in that way" Sirius said, his voice becoming quieter with each word spoken.

Remus laughed, making Sirius flinch. "That's ridiculous! Why would you even think that? She just needed some help in class, it was totally innocent"

Sirius rolled his eyes, his confidence beginning to return it seemed. "Don't be thick, Moony. She bloody fancies you, it's so obvious"

Remus began to chuckle. "And you care?"

Sirius stood up abruptly. Remus immediately regretted his words.

"Of course I fucking care! What the hell is this, Remus? What are we doing?"

Remus was rendered speechless. Sirius waited for his answer, his eyes flashing dangerously, reminiscent of Remus earlier.

"What do you mean 'what are we doing'? We agreed this would be casual, that was the point of it wasn't it?" Remus was genuinely confused now and also slightly alarmed when he saw the expression on Sirius' face as he said the words. He went from angry, to desolate to utterly broken. The realisation hit Remus suddenly and he immediately went to Sirius to repair the damage. Anything to eradicate that look on Sirius' face. He never wanted to see that again.

"Sirius, I'm sorry, I didn't- "

"Please save it, Remus. I can't listen to this"

"But Sirius-" Remus objected, but Sirius cut him off.

"If this was just casual and it didn't mean anything to you-"

"Of course it meant something! It still does" Remus was desperate now, Sirius was slowly backing towards the door but Remus just needed him to understand.

Sirius continued as though Remus hadn't spoken. "If it didn't mean anything, then we can just end it now, can't we?"

Sirius' words cut Remus like shards of ice. "End it?" he mumbled weakly.

"Yeah. This has gone on long enough. Black's don't… they don't…" Sirius seemed unable to finish his sentence. "I'm sorry, Remus" were his last words before he retreated from the room, leaving the now broken Remus behind.

"Come back" Remus whispered to the empty doorway.

`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

James had decided to go in search of his two best friends when they hadn't turned up for Herbology. He wasn't as surprised that Sirius had missed the lesson because it wasn't in their nature to be that bothered about schoolwork; particularly involving plants. But Remus? He never missed lessons, except for when he couldn't help it such as after a full moon.

At first James had considered that they were better off left alone, in case they were doing something his eyes did not want to witness. But after failing to find either of them in the Gryffindor common room and then neither of them making an appearance in their final lesson of the day, Care of Magical Creatures, he had started to worry. Where were they? Frustrated, James took out the mirror which he knew Sirius had the sister of; they often carried them around in case of emergencies such as these.

"Sirius Black" he spoke clearly into the mirror and waited a few seconds until he saw Sirius' head appear in the reflection.

"James? What is it?"

James was speechless. Sirius looked absolutely terrible. It was obvious he had been crying because of his bloodshot eyes and flushed appearance. But there was something else in his expression. James had never seen Sirius so desolate; except for that fateful night when he had revealed Remus' condition to Snape. Yes, this look was like déjà vu which could mean only one thing.

"Where's Remus?" James asked hesitantly.

Sirius sniffed. "Don't know. Don't care"

James sighed. So Remus was okay, he wasn't hurt. Well maybe not physically James considered as an afterthought.

"Where are you?" he asked Sirius firmly.

"Astronomy tower" Sirius said simply, his head disappearing from the mirror.

James sighed and set off to find out what on earth had happened between Remus and Sirius.

`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

Sirius sat on the stony floor, his legs curled up into a ball, his arms wrapped around himself comfortingly.

He had made a terrible mistake. Why did he have to be such an idiot? He could have easily blown off his jealously and Remus and him could have continued as though nothing had happened. Sure, Sirius would be feeling more strongly about the relationship but surely it would be worth it when he was able to kiss and touch Remus? A small voice in the back of Sirius' mind said this wouldn't be enough for him. But what's to say Remus wouldn't feel the same way someday? Was Sirius really so terrible?

His head was spinning with questions that he desperately needed answers to but was too afraid to receive them. He simply couldn't face Remus right now; couldn't look into his beautiful face and tell him he didn't mean it, that it was just a casual arrangement. Because it was a complete and utter lie. Sirius loved Remus and if Remus couldn't love him, he didn't see how they could continue with whatever the hell it was they had been doing.

"Sirius?"

Sirius looked up, rubbing at his eyes to try and conceal how bloodshot they were; of course James would see through him though.

"You look terrible" James added, sitting beside him.

"Thanks" Sirius replied dryly.

"What happened?" James pressed, staring at Sirius with an anxious expression clearly evident on his face.

"Well, stupidly I confronted Remus about Delilah and he said nothing was going on. But he also said nothing was going on between us two either so" Sirius shrugged.

"Are you sure he said that?" James asked sceptically.

"Well not word for word" Sirius hedged.

"Then what did he say? Word for word" James asked firmly.

"Something like we agreed it would be casual-"

"Which you did" James interrupted.

"Yes we did" Sirius agreed. "But I thought it meant more than that"

"And Remus said it didn't?"

"Well… not exactly"

James rolled his eyes. "What did he say exactly?"

"That it did mean something-"

"Well there you are then!"

"Stop interrupting. He didn't specify what it meant exactly"

"Did you give him the chance to?" James asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Well no-"

"Sirius! You utter pillock. Go and find him and talk to him"

"Why should I?" Sirius knew he was being ridiculous, childish even. But admittedly he was too scared to go and talk to Remus, to find out how he really felt.

"Because you love him, that's why" James sighed. "Come on, I'll help you look" he grabbed Sirius' arm and yanked him to his feet.

"Thanks, James" Sirius muttered, genuinely grateful he had a best friend like James to give him a good kick up the arse when it was needed.

"No problem. Can't see my two best friend's unhappy can I?"

`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

Remus was quietly sitting under a great oak tree in the castle grounds, obscured in shadow from any teachers that might spot him here; or anyone else for that matter.

He felt awful; not only about Sirius but also about missing his afternoon lessons. He had made sure he had gone to explain to his teachers why he was absent; fabricating a story that Sirius had been taken very ill and was too sick to even make it to the Hospital Wing, resulting in Remus having to stay with him to care for him. He reminded himself to inform Sirius of this later, if they were on speaking terms.

Remus was feeling surprisingly calm. If he simply waited for Sirius to let off some steam, he would be able to explain to him that Sirius was completely mistaken in his accusations; or in other words, was being a complete idiot.

Because clearly to a sane, well-informed individual with half a brain, it was quite clear that Remus was utterly besotted with Sirius. Remus just hadn't realised what his feelings had meant until now; until he had seen the agony on Sirius' face and realised that he wanted to be the one to make all that agony go away and stay away for as long as Sirius would have him.

Remus supposed that he hadn't realised this sooner because he was scared; scared of losing Sirius and scared of allowing himself to be truly vulnerable with someone for the first time in his life. He knew it was the same for Sirius, with a mother like that. He just wished Sirius had given him the time to explain all of this instead of running off like that.

Give him time Remus told himself, feeling comforted.

Remus rose to his feet, deciding to go to the dorm room to wait for Sirius to return.

`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

Sirius spent a lot longer than he thought he would returning to Gryffindor tower. He had taken James' advice, searching for Remus everywhere he could think of, all to no avail. Finally he had decided to give up until morning; he was too tired to think coherently anymore anyway.

Slipping quietly into the common room, he heard Peter's distinct snores and James' quieter grunts. Remus' bed curtains were still open however and as Sirius drew closer, he realised that Remus was still fully dressed, laying haphazard across his bed as though he had fallen asleep accidentally.

Sirius smiled and removed Remus' shoes gently and pulled the covers up, moving Remus gently inside them; luckily he didn't stir. Sirius stood back to admire him for a moment. Remus was utterly breathtaking, in his own simple not-so-perfect kind of way. But to Sirius he was perfection, every flaw included, he adored every inch of Remus. His heart swelled in response; how was it possible to love someone this much and still be able to breathe?

Remus sighed in his sleep.

"Sirius" he whispered intently and Sirius caught his breath. The moment was so perfect, Sirius could not contain himself. He slid carefully into Remus' bed next to him and wrapped an arm around his torso; burying his head in Remus' hair, breathing in his scent.

"Sirius?" Remus said again, clearly awake this time.

Sirius drew back slightly. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself"

"It's okay" Remus said sleepily, turning over to face Sirius, snuggling closer into his chest. Sirius' breath hitched in astonishment.

"What is it?" Remus asked, looking into Sirius' face for some kind of clue.

"Nothing. It's just we were so messed up earlier and now look at us" Sirius chuckled in both joy and relief.

Remus laughed with him. "Well I've had a lot to think about"

"Me too" Sirius agreed. "You first" he added, smiling in the darkness.

If it wasn't so dark, Sirius would have sworn he saw Remus flush.

"I didn't get the chance to say earlier…I guess I hadn't been aware of my feelings until now…"

Remus squirmed in Sirius' arms, clearly feeling very shy about what he was about to say next.

"I love you too" Sirius said simply, and before Remus could say another word, Sirius silenced him with his lips.

"That wasn't fair" Remus said when they had stopped kissing for a moment.

"Why not?" Sirius asked, amused.

"Because I was about to say it and you said it first"

"Well say it now" Sirius teased, but still eager.

"I love you" Remus said, smiling into the darkness.

Sirius grinned at him, drawing him close for a tight embrace.

"That's all I needed to hear"

`*`*`*`*`*`*`*

James went down to breakfast the next morning feeling slightly uneasy. Sirius and Remus hadn't been in the dorm room when he had woken up and he was worried that they were off somewhere arguing. He had been filling Peter in on yesterday's mishaps when he entered the Great Hall and stopped short.

Remus and Sirius were sitting together, grinning stupidly at each other and holding hands discreetly under the table. Remus flushed at something Sirius had said and Sirius looked at him in wonderment and clear adoration; a look Remus readily imitated. No one else in the Great Hall seemed to notice this simple interaction, or understand what it meant.

James however smiled to himself and glanced down the table at Lily Evans who had clearly been looking his way and had evidently realised he had spotted her because she suddenly flushed and looked away; a small smile etched upon her lips.

"Perhaps there's hope for the rest of us, Peter" James said, nodding in Remus and Sirius' direction. "The way them two are with each other can make anyone believe in love"

Peter nodded in agreement and James smiled once more in Lily's direction.

The End