Hey guys!

Yes this is gonna be very dark, dark bad bad story. so if you are 10 and you are having nightmares during the night, don't read it! or I hope I write it that good that some people will have the nightmares, that would be my pleasure :D.

I'm a GA fan so I'm not writing this because I hate them and I want to give them a bad story. I'm writing it because I love to write people's feelings. Yes, I'm a psychopathic person but believe me you would never notice me in the real life, I don't look like that :D.

I OWN NOTHING.

The story teller is Addison Montgomery.

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I'm sober, one more time again I'm sober. I woke up on the floor in the middle of our cloths, of some books, next to the people who I have never met, or I have no idea I met them. I don't know their names, I can't tell you that I know their faces. I don't take it seriously, in our flat there is always somebody who I don't know. I wanted a coffee so I made a coffee for myself. But the thing what was supposed to be coffee tastes like socks with water. I told him not to do it. Not to buy this shit but he did. My lovely man. My dreamy man is lying in the sofa, vomit around him, he is skinny and pale, I can't even look at him. He used to be a handsome dark haired, mystery man and now when I married him he is a wreck. I'm the wreck. We are two lost souls who are drawing in their own shits. When we have a good days, he tells me that he loves me, but how can you really love someone when you tell it them only when you have enough drugs?

I have been always the best one in the class, I was always the one with the best marks and I was accepted to the med school, I was one of the best. I was because now I don't have a power to stand up and brush my teeth. I have no idea how long I haven't brushed my teeth and I don't feel uncomfortable I just don't care. The only thing I want is run, run away. Run away from the misery, run away from the destiny, run away with him and from him. He is the only reason why I'm here, Derek Shepherd, Derek Christopher Shepherd.

I messed up, people messed up but I don't think I can take it back, I don't study to be a doc anymore, my parents blocked my credit card, I don't have any money, I have nothing. I have to work and I do. I'm a waitress in the McDonald, I'm a housekeeper during the weekends, I'm a girl for everything, really for everything. Yes I know what you are thinking about. But guys aren't that bad and I don't take it too seriously. I'm 20 and I need money. People do desperate things when they need money so don't judge me.

Derek is here, he woke up, my prince, my knight, my man, my enemy, my worst fear. He hugged me, gave me a kiss and the only thing what I wanted was to stop it, I can't feel him near me, I know he is killing me, he did it to me, he destroyed me, I'm too low to leave him.

We have to win this war together.

When we were younger and we just started to experiment with drugs it was different, we thought we have a control, we thought we can fight our fear, we can stop it anytime, but now we are slowly dying. Nobody can save us. Or can they?

"Derek" I told him and he turned, he didn't smile, he didn't say anything. I was looking for the old Derek, for the one who I loved who I met and who I wanted to be happy with, who I wanted to have kids with. I saw him, somewhere in his eyes there was a boy who liked to hide in his room and dreams about the future, somewhere there is my Derek and I'm gonna fight for him.

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well, I do hope you liked it.

please tell me your opinion

3 reviews and I will write more and faster.

if you want to ask something feel free to write your questions in the reviews or you can write me a message or I can give you my MSN, really I'm bored I'm talking-lover person :D. Don't be scared! :D