"Your pitiful shadow is cloaked in darkness, you have caused great pain and suffering, your hollow soul drowns in your sins. I will show you what Death is…"

A flutter of pink against black.

The river was covered with mist choking the voices of those who have crossed before. The old boat, being rowed by a girl no older than thirteen- still taking a step into womanhood. The Hell Girl, Ai Enma. Her face so plain, she is the only thing worth looking at during this journey. Black hair reaching her back, red eyes that have no joy, her lips seemed to have forgotten to smile.

"You are coming with me, we are going to Hell"

The traveler crosses the border never to be seen or heard off again...

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"Hell is the same as the world. It is what you want; it is what you make of and for yourself." My mother used to tell me when I was a young child in way making me behave well so that I may not be punished much by the Lord of the Underworld. I heard her soft warning as I wake up from my trance to find myself in an unfamiliar yet understood surrounding.

I am in what we humans have feared since the beginning of mankind- Hell

Behind me a long lonely road stretches beyond what the eyes can see. Every now and then you can see dark trees stand whose naked branches reach out to the ever ash grey skies in pleas, begging for a little beauty. Finding no way to give the trees their wishes, tiny tears of snow fall continuously in response. I lower my gaze from the sky to observe the road. Dark stones float upon a path of magma and one can see steam rise as a fire serpent slithers below and tries to lick your bare skin through the cracks. The heat always threatens to tear your flesh, but no. not yet. I turn to face the gate before which I stand.

It stands at a beautiful height of nearly twenty feet. The metal is astonishing cold. Not cool, but cold like ice. My skin sticks to the gate as I outline the designs. The gate had designs of various cultures and age drawn from bones and wood. It seems to have no uniform color and form as……

Suddenly the gate swung open and I was greeted with waves of deafening screeches. I was forced to sit on the ground and cover my head. My temples throbbed with pain; my eyes begin to water and sink in my sockets, my ear-drums seem to be on the verge of bursting. "M-make it….. s-stop" I winced in pain as I spoke to the armored guards. After simply shaking their heads, they wordlessly instructed the demon dogs which stood beside them to take me inside. I throw my head back in pain as I feel sharp teeth close around my abdomen, sinking into the flesh and mercilessly am thrown as though I am no lighter than a cloth doll. "It has only begun" I heard the guards say as the doors swing shut groaning at the hinges.

Holding my hurt stomach I notice the change of scene. It looks like the heart of a live volcano. There are people, no, souls who have to pay the prices for their sins. I pull my hand away from my stomach and immediately the blood gushes out. My knees crumble under me and I find myself on all fours breathing hard, beads of sweat trailing down my face. "Walk straight and you shall find Him" a small stone statue of a child instructs me. Nodding weakly I force myself to my feet and continue to walk.

I catch glimpses of the punishment given by Lord Enma to the sinners.

Murderers were to repeat those same actions onto themselves. A lady I was observing may have cut her victim into pieces and so now she did the same to herself. First she would cut her long hair, then using a butcher would cut her feet at the ankle, then at the knee then from the pelvis. Using the same knife she sever her other arm. Taking a normal kitchen knife she would gouge out her eyes, slash away her face and sever her tongue from her mouth. She would then proceed to cut her neck slowly. After all this, all that was left was a bloody mass which could not be recognized. During this if she screamed out of pain, burning coal would be placed on her open wounds. In a few hours, her body would regenerate out of the mud into which she was to perish.

Fraud doctors who sold slow killing poison to their clients were made to drink all the contents in one gulp. Their bodies would react in the same way their client's bodies did. Their bodies would burn with very high temperature; their cheeks would sink in, their hair would fall, their skin would slowly wrinkle and eventually peel away, their organs would melt inside their bodies and would suffer from internal bleeding, at times they would suffer severe strokes which would leave them in a state of paralysis. In some cases, their bones would become very brittle and they would suffer from diarrhea but would have none to attend to them or they would show combined symptoms of various diseases but still could not help themselves due to eternal weakness. It may not sound very painful but imagine facing such a state for eternity as a punishment. Staying in a state of eternal pain, helplessness is torturous.

Rapists who may have enjoyed the touch of soft skin of his then victims, their cries which he would muffle with his hand, their dignity which he would proudly rob and make them impure with his seed where castrated and deliberately were made to have sex with creatures who were neither human nor animal; neither male nor female . If they resisted, then two or more creatures were assigned to that individual. Those creatures would happily oblige as they themselves could find no match for themselves with enough stamina and want. Those creatures were made of pure lust who expressed no sorrow or regret and often during the session they would leave the rapists bleeding and pathetically sore. If more creatures were assigned then the person was bound to be found torn into halves. They even forced the sinners to have sex in unfavorable conditions- over a bed of thorns or with a body made of lava. Those who indulged infidelity were also punished in the same manner as the rapists- male or female.

Some were given the penalty of self harm. Cutting oneself, drowning oneself, setting oneself aflame, threading, sewing oneself, etc.. As I managed to make myself move on I realized that these were only few of the prices to be paid by man for his mistakes, wrongdoing. But, the illusion in which I have always lived was broken…

All the poor souls who had committed no serious offence and had died young innocent were given a second chance to live. I would not say that it was beautiful, but compared to what I had seen, it was pleasant. Very pleasant. A koi pond stood in the middle while small flowers bloomed nearby. They would die in a few hours as a mark that nothing would live for long. The trees here weighed down with leaves of a soft shade of green unlike their cousins outside. The leaves did fall, if I were to guess, they would be tears for their kin who suffered in the cold weather outside. The air was heavy with scents of incense and fragrances which floated from the trees and bushes. The atmosphere seemed to be mild as a reminder that a state of everlasting happiness cannot be obtained. Bubbly voices of children, laughter made their way to my ears. I heard the soft calls of women, heavy speech of men, footsteps of animals and the jingling of anklets. Standing there and watching the scene reminded me that beauty exists even in the most unexpected situation. Ying and Yang- the state of balance.

A curtain of creepers begins to fall cutting me from the voices, the laughter, the beauty- that piece of Heaven. I may have been standing long enough not to notice how much I had bled until I felt a hand at my elbow. I turn to see a young girl with eyes so white that even her pupil could not been seen. She had a calm smile on her small face as her hand gently coaxed me on. I smiled back and everything goes dark and I lost consciousness before I even hit the hard floor.

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Wet. Something wet rubbed against my face in a rhythm that felt… cute… and ticklish. As I begin coming to my senses I feel a weight on my chest and stiffness in my abdomen and back. Heavy steps make their way to me. My eyes flutter open in fear as the heat around me increases; a knot of dread seizes me. I find myself nose-to-nose with a werewolf who squatted next my head. The shift of weight on my chest broke my gaze from his intense ones. A fluff of cotton seemed to found some place against my neck. I lifted it up only to recognize that the 'fluff of cotton' was actually a month old pup who yawned sleepily into my face. I squirmed at the tickles at my ear and found another 'fluff of cotton' with its pink tongue hanging out. I felt rough hands under mine which grabbed the pups. The werewolf was concentrating very hard on the puppies and held them very carefully in his broad palms. He brought the tumbling pups to his face and smiled lovingly when they licked his nose. Cradling them like a father would, he got up and left me. Only turning briefly did he say in a hoarse whisper, "You should not keep Master waiting. Hurry now."

Even in the depths of sorrow I could not have found joy I had felt for this brief moment. Pulling myself into a sitting position I realized to my dismay that I have been like this in the company of the Lord of the Underworld Himself! Upon two thrones sat the most impressive couple I have ever come across.

The lady wore a long white cream-peach robe which fanned the ground; a tall hat sat on Her head (of a color similar to her dress) which broadened a bit as one's gaze went up. Strings of dew drop like stars fell off it like thin chains of gold fastened together with a brooch of a moon with wings enveloping it. She wore prayer beads on Her wrists along with bracelet sets of charms. On Her neck hung a pendant which was hidden among the folds of Her dress. She turned Her head and watched me with soft eyes as I observe Her intently. I was breathless when I found Her eyes, a pool of blue and green as though a glimpse of the sea was trapped in shimmering bubbles. Her golden-brown hair fell in waves to her knee and swished lightly as she turned to look at the man sitting next to Her with an expression that I read as- love.

The male who sat on the bigger throne wore a black battle armor upon which intricate designs were carefully crafted in gold. Even through the heavy armor I could see His well defined body; his muscular shoulders, arms, torso. His cloak could not hide the fact how well His body had been trained against injuries, harm, and fatigue. Raven hair rested till His shoulders, His dark burned with a fire that rooted me to the ground.

As pale as His bride seems, His skin burns red. As harsh as He seems, that kind seems She. As He is to rule the dusk, She rules the dawn. Her head fits perfectly against His muscular self as He gently places a broad hand over her petite ones. A perfect balance. Life and Death sit side by side as Man and Wife.

He lifts Himself to a magnificent height and with a tender touch scoops His wife into His arms.

"She has spoken and your fate is decided."

"What has been decided for me? Please… explain…"

Her lips pulled back in a smile and nodded to Her husband who put Her down as tenderly as He had scooped Her up. She walked towards with arms wide open and placed them around my form. I had underestimated Her height as I reached only Her chest. Pulling me close and embracing me tighter She explained, "Man has always sinned and so for their crimes they must pay. Every man who has taken birth and passed through our gates has sinned, there is no denial. The place where you stand is always believed to be 'Hell', but actually it is the realm looked after by us Judges, often seen as opposing forces in the eyes of the world. Darkness, light, death, life, destruction, preservation, sadness, joy, the destroyer, the creator, lust, love, wrath, calm- everything exists in balance in this twilight world. Before man stands in front of us, We already have decided the punishment that he would suffer and if someone has died, for example a child who got aborted or a child who had been raped and murdered, etc., then We give them a second chance and allow them to live in the gardens you passed. That was Heaven." She pulled away from me and held my shoulders firmly, "Coming back to you. I see a dent on your heart and you have caused hurt to someone and so you must remain here. I will let you live, but not happily. Your soul shall float in the River of the Lost, listening to the constant sad whispers of your dear mother, father whom you have left behind; the quiet sobs of your friend who you hurt and has yet has decided to forgive and wishes you back. You shall hear their murmurs through the currents of the river and you will become just another lost, guilty soul whose howls and cries will be crushed by my barrier. You like all others shall seek a path to redemption. This is your punishment."

Her words ring in my head as I float this stream of the dead.

I remember my mistake, the reason I am here. I stood back, I stood back as they molested my friend. I was the coward who had always protected her. Her young sister had seen me flee. I remember the red string. The anger in those young eyes. I remember.

I remember as I feel bones sink into my still human flesh, I remember as the wails of resident spirits ring deep in my ear. As a hand grabs my head, my still alive eyes see those I left behind and those I have wronged. As the water blurs my vision I do nothing but say a silent apology to my friend who lay in hospital out of shock and her younger sister who because of would suffer in life and death.

As the cold water fills my chest, my sight turns misty, my body almost still, I stop resisting the pull and allow myself to be a part of the River.