A/N: Be thrilled! We have hit twenty thousand words (+)! CELBEBRATE! I'm in rather good spirits as of late, I dumped my boyfriend (who is trash) and I feel great. ^_^
Part Two: Winter
4. "Andy, you're a star, in nobody's eyes but mine."
"Of all the ways that you could fall
Well you fell right into me
You were born to waste my time
And you knew it"
The Takeover UK, Running With the Wasters
Jacob looked sickly, dark circles were under his eyes and his skin felt clammy. He just woke up moments. It was strange thing though, his body felt weak and his arms her exposed. Billy had been nodding off in the corner of the room, when Jacob first let out the tell-tale groan. Jacob felt as if a train had rolled over his body and crushed it. His joints felt like they weren't even there. He tried moving his lips but found they didn't work until several tries later.
Jacob was far too exhausted.
"…where?"
He wanted to know where he was. Even though with sight of the wires and the faint beeping noise told him where exactly he was. He just needed to hear it. He needed it to become tangible, more real.
Billy's head snapped up, and he wheeled himself to the side of the bed, "You're in the hospital son."
Billy, billy, billy.
He gave Jacob a short look of concern.
"Jacob, how are you…?"
It was a rather quiet inquiry; the question in itself was foolish to ask, but Billy's face was grim in the dim lighting of the room. They boy sprawled on the bed, calmly looking might have believed it, but he knew better. Jacob crooned his neck, with much effort on his part, to point more in Billy's direction. His father's hands were folded and he was not looking Jacob in the eye. He looked almost ashamed. What did he have to be ashamed of?, Jacob felt disgust overwhelm him, he'd always been degusted with Billy.
He didn't answer. Jacob did not want dignify the stupid question of his health with an even stupider answer.
Billy eventually realized this and found it fit to hear himself talk.
"Rachel and Rebecca left earlier. You were lucky…the doctor says that much." A pause and a deep sight.
"You've been out for a few days. I didn't go home." Billy continued.
Jacob narrowed his eyes. Of course, you didn't go home, there's nothing to do there, this is where all the action is at.
"Paul is coming to see you today."
Jacob wanted to roll over and turn his back towards Billy. He didn't care right now, he was too tired to do so.
Billy looked at the frail boy on the bed; he couldn't believe this gray looking boy was his son. His eyes raked over the cuts on Jacob's arm. Even more disbelief sunk in. His son was obviously mentally disturbed and suicidal. What had he done to deserve this? It was too much, far too much for one parent to handle. Billy wondered briefly, of what life would have been like if Sarah had lived. His family would be less dysfunctional most likely. Yes, he was sure that taking him to Carlisle was a start to end his destructive nature, but he had no idea that it so deep. The sex, the drugs, the suicidal tendencies, what did they mean? Why did it all cluster and explode into this? It was public, personal, and rather bemusing.
God, his son wasn't one of those kid s from a broken home. Why'd he do this?
He looked at Jacob's cuts with even more scrutiny.
"You were trying to kill yourself." Billy stated, he eyed Jacob's arms in the light.
Jacob would have yelled in vehement denial. He would have told Billy to get out the room. He would have demanded to leave the hospital. But all he could manage was a simple one word answer.
"No…"
He felt even angrier and angrier at his lack of ability to move. Billy was being too judgmental, what did he know about his life? What did Billy know about Jacob other than that he was his son. Nothing, he knew absolutely nothing. Bitterness began to fill Jacob's head to a point where it was dizzying; this was the very monster that Jacob fed with drugs, sex, and James (always James) was lurking at the front end of his brain. It paced feeling ill and cornered. This was the wry-wit that made him drag himself over to Paul's, sleep in the playground, and find himself alone with nothing but towels and bloodied razor..
Billy had some part in making it grow. He nurtured it as he would a garden.
Billy lifted his head and looked him dead in the eye.
"You don't have to lie to me anymore, son."
I'm not lying, I'm not lying, you selfish bastard. You only care because everyone knows now.
"Was everything so bad?"
What?
"…what was that Billy…?" his voice was growing stronger.
"Was your life that bad? You need to change…."
Jacob got bitter, he spat out with all the venom he could muster, "What the fuck is your problem. I never had a fucking life from you perspective, do you hear me you paraplegic piece of shit. I'm fine the way I am."
"Jacob, you're a child. You need to grow more."
He was getting under Billy's skin, it was a simple thing to do.
When was I ever a child? I was always taking care of you selfish ass. I was always the one who hard to wallow in your disappointment and despair. I hate you, I hate you, I hate-
"Get the fuck out." Jacob said.
Billy sat there looking concerned then angry.
Billy's knuckles cracked.
"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?!"
Jacob would've smiled if he could, there was the Billy he knew.
"EVERYONE KNOWS! EVERYONE! THIS IS EMBARASSING! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I-"
Veins popped from the wheelchair confined man's forehead, it grew dark with anger and even more so with frustration.
Jacob bit out a bitter laugh.
"It's just an overdose, happens to the best of us." Jacob interrupted Billy's tirade.
A nurse heard the commotion and peeked into the room.
"Everything alright in here, Mr. Black?" the nurse said. Her tone was accusatory despite the polite chirp.
"Everything is fine." He ground out, Jacob's smirk still hadn't left, it irritated Billy.
She nodded smiling. "I'll send the doctor to see Jacob."
She pulled her head out of the room leaving the father and son alone again.
Billy gritted his teeth. He took a breath, a deep one.
"You're alive, you stupid moron, you're alive! Why are hurting yourself?! Just tell me?! You don't understand; that Cullen boy found you in an alleyway….he saved your life."
Cullen? Alleyway?, Jacob stored that bit of information away.
He knew then what James had done, probably dumped him to die alone of this thing. Resentment came over him, and so did heartache. Why? He didn't know.
He put on a stony face for Billy though, letting none of his feelings slip from his poker face.
"I look forward to my release." , the nail in the coffin.
Billy was having none of it.
"No, you're not being released. You're going to rehab. They're going to fix you and hopefully you'll come back normal."
Jacob narrowed his eyes, but felt too weak to argue now.
They boy closed his eyes but not before hearing a soft:
"…if you ever were normal…"
Billy wheeled himself out, leaving Jacob just as alone as he was before.
~x~
Dr. Cullen was his doctor.
He came in all smiles and friendly. He looked just as clean cut as he'd last seem him. The same blond hair and even so perfect teeth. God they were too white.
"I'm just going to run some test later. We took blood you know."
Jacob said nothing.
"I'm rather concerned for your mental, as well as your physical heath, Mr. Black."
"Just call me Jacob, please." He resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
Dr. Cullen gave a smile.
"Of course, Jacob."
A long silence and some scrawling.
"Jacob, you do realize why you're here?", the doctor said.
Jacob laughed.
"Of course I do, I had a little overdose."
Carlisle's smile didn't reach his eyes.
"Overdoses aren't 'little', it's perhaps the last sign of a life out of control. Sometimes it's too late even then. "
The boy on the bed could feel humor well up in him, was this "the speech"? The one meant to change his life, make him look at himself and say, "hey I'm on the wrong track". Yes this was it, the pivotal moment. Hilarious. His family didn't even bother with an intervention and now, a doctor whose son he had a sexual encounter with, was here to 'save' his life.
"You're an addict, and from our preliminary test several narcotic substances." Carlisle said flatly.
"Yes, I am. But you already knew that from our first meeting, according to information Billy gave you."
Carlisle didn't concede to the nasty tone of Jacob's remarks.
"You're going to die. It's as simple as that."
Another laugh, and this one was drier than the first.
"How much do you get paid a year to do this shit?"
"A lot, but that's not the point. You're merely deflecting away from the serious nature of you addiction. You are clearly injecting from some of the little needle marks on you. It seems from our preliminary test you tested positive for cocaine and heroin. You're most likely smoking it as well. From what I observed personally from monitoring your breathing, your nasal passages are ragged. So you're snorting." It was a long statement to make, but it also very true.
Jacob gave a small nod of agreement, "You guys are good."
He didn't want to feel anything right now.
"Recovery from this will be hard. It's going to take time, months, even years of your life." the man looked down at Jacob.
His look was disarming and made Jacob feel uncomfortable.
"I'm not going to some shanty rehabilitation program.", he lost some edge to his voice.
A deep sigh, "You're father can pretty much force you to go and get clean, you are under age."
Jacob frowned, "…I see."
If Carlisle knew he won that round, he didn't show it. Instead he moved on to the next subject of interest.
"May I ask why you were in that alley?"
Right to business then, Jacob thought.
"I don't know…"
James.
"Well my son, Edward, said he saw someone dropped you and ran off."
Jacob pursed his lips.
"Now, I'm only a doctor, but I know that you're more than aware hat since that person dumped you they can face some criminal charges, yes? They sold you the drug as well is that correct?" Carlisle gave the boy a hard look.
Jacob felt nervous underneath that gaze.
"…I don't have to answer tat do I. And they didn't sell them to me…..", Jacob said defensively.
Dr. Cullen was not smiling any more and was holding the clipboard with tight fist.
"Edward will want to come in and speak to you. Is that fine?"
Jacob gave a pointed look but agreed nonetheless, "Fine."
"Good."
The doctor gave a tight smile.
~x~
"Jacob." Paul was at his side. Paul was sitting in one those square hospital chairs that left a stiff feeling in the back.
Paul was stroking his hair; it was safe because Billy had left to go home and the doctor made his rounds. No one would really disturb them. Paul was clutching at Jacob's hand as well. He needed to be certain Jacob was here.
They were both silent.
"You overdosed." He said bluntly breaking the silence.
"…yeah." muttered Jacob.
"You could've died." Paul said quietly, "I'd prefer for you not to die."
Paul surprised Jacob by leaning up out of the seat and laying a small kiss on his cheek. Paul was upset, that was clear to see. The worry lines did not suit his face.
Jacob rolled his eyes, trying to comfort himself and Paul by brushing the situation off.
"…don't get emotional on me." Jacob said.
Paul said nothing.
"I like you."
Jacob looks at Paul, and Paul seems different from all the other times. There was desperation in his eyes. Deep down Jacob knows this isn't what Paul wants to say, but it's all that he can formulate on his lips.
"I know, I understand."
Jacob reached out and pulled Paul's face close for a kiss.
Paul responded, eagerly before pulling away. He gave Jacob a hand look and ran his large hand through Jacob's somewhat greasy locks of hair.
"Stop trying to distract me. I care about you, don't just bury this."
Jacob turned his head away from Paul's scrutinizing gaze.
"I'm fine."
Paul refused to believe that.
"You need help, I'm sorry but you do." Paul's voice was harsh.
Jacob got defensive.
"You don't know anything!"
Paul gave a wry smile.
"Well then tell me something."
Jacob got quiet.
"Jacob, are you going to see James after this?"
The boy in question didn't need to answer, they both knew the answer was yes.
"You're a complete fool, do you realize that? A fool. James doesn't give flying fuck about you-" Paul was getting really angry now.
"I know that but-"
"Shut up, let me enjoy this moment while you're still breathing."
Jacob fell silent and Paul just laid his head at an uncomfortable angle to be closer to the other boy. He knew that Paul wasn't being harsh, but the tone made it seem so. Paul was just, ...he didn't know.
Paul could do nothing, and perhaps that was the saddest part for the two.
~x~
It was two days later, that Edward finally came by. He sat in the only chair the room provided. He was looking down at his shoes; people seemed to that a lot around him as of late. Jacob couldn't muster up any fight to argue with anyone by now. The vomiting and long nights had taken some of that. He fought the urge to scream, he wasn't even in rehab yet.
"This isn't the way I intended to see you again." Edward said. He wrung his hands nervously.
"I didn't intend for this to happen." Jacob said.
"Funny how life goes, huh?" the pale man said with a jovial tone.
"Funny."
Edward looked up frowning.
"Still think my skin is beautiful?" he couldn't help it he needed to be mean. Days without a cigarette or any kind of fix made him very cranky. He was emotionally drained by now and no one coming to see him other than Paul and he nurses made him feel very alone in the unfamiliar location.
Edward seemed nice enough right now.
"Not particularly at the moment…I mean you look sick. But if you get better maybe I'll kiss you." Edward said.
"Hmm… You're flirting with a recovering addict that's a minor. Aren't you an upright man?"
Edward laughed suddenly, causing Jacob to raise an eyebrow.
"I'm sorry, this entire situation is absurd."
Jacob smiled a little.
"I guess."
Edward reached a hand out and touched the tangled nest of hair that was once prettier weeks ago.
"You should cut it when you get out, it practically fried."
The boy nodded and let out a puff.
"Why are we being friendly?"
"I saved your life, and you have nothing to hate me for."
"I could press charges for you having sex with me."
Edward rolled his eyes.
"We both know you won't."
"Yeah."
Edward became very serious suddenly.
"How do you know Jamie?"
Jamie?
"James?" Jacob croaked out, "So you know he gave me the-"
"Yes and that he dumped you so he wouldn't get caught."
Jacob felt sorrow swallow him, he knew it was true but it was strange. He felt not close to James, but near him.
"Why should I tell you this?"
"You don't have to."
Jacob didn't he just rolled over and shut his eyes.
xx
"D-do you wanna share my umbrella?" he piqued up.
Jacob was sure his face was flushed, what had he been thinking offering this stranger his umbrella to share. It was silly, why would a grown man pay attention to him in the first place. However, there were times when Jacob could feel the man's eyes rake over him, assessing, measuring, and searching.
"No thanks kid." The hooded man said.
Disappointment filtered through him. Jacob kicked at the pavement, some gravel moved.
"Oh…okay then." He felt awkward.
It reminded him of the stinging rejection he felt around Quil. It hurt him, he had no clue why he wanted to something for this man. He felt embarrassed, did the man know? Did he sense there was something strange about him, Jacob waned to flee home and curl into a ball after a nice session with raw skin. He shut his eyes and pursed his lips tightly, a dizzy feeling over took him. He felt awful and his cuts throbbed in his mind, his arms were begging to be torn open, pleading even.
And then sigh came to the left causing Jacob to snap out his momentary withdrawal and peek over at the man.
The man, Jacob had seen his face plenty of times, was attractive. His blue eyes, pale skin, and hair pulled into a neat ponytail added to a sense of roguishness about the man. He was actually looking at Jacob this time though.
"Look boy, stop looking so desperate." It was a cold statement.
"Huh?"
"You're easy. That's it you're just too easy." The man gritted his teeth and gave Jacob a hard look that caused the boy to take a step over a bit.
Jacob stared down at his worn snakers, he clutched his umbrella tightly.
Fifteen minutes of nothing but the sound of oppressive rain later, the bus rolled in Jacobhopped on and took a seat, alone once again.
It was two days later when the man told his name.
"I'm James." He said.
Jacob held the straps of his bag away from his body causing it to press into his back. He didn't need an umbrella today, but that didn't mean that the chill of La Push was gone. He wore a gray sweater that would probably be to warm for indoors.
He nodded, "That's nice."
He refused to look the man in the eye.
James looked annoyed.
"Hey boy, I'm being friendly, pay attention to me. Aren't curious as to why I'm talkin' to you?"
Jacob ignored and feigned disinterest in James actions.
James laughed at his attempted neutrality.
"Hmm…well I'll be straight with you."
Jacob didn't turn his head.
James leaned in real close to whisper into the boy's ear.
"You're different, I can tell something's off about you, boy."
A hot breath, Jacob flushed.
"Mhhm…" James nodded casually sticking his hands in the pocket of his blue jeans He leaned back up.
"I'll tell you something about life kid."
Jacob scoffed, still a little flushed from the previous closeness.
"What would that be?"
"People are cruel, you learn to accept it and move on." James stated. He moved a loose piece of hair from his forehead and Jacob watched on with knitted eyebrows.
A dim spark came to Jacob's eyes and he voiced it, "I don't want to believe that everyone is bad."
He stared at James who seemed smug for a moment.
"People aren't bad but, everyone has intentions."
Jacob was confused.
"Like what?"
"Oh so you want an example boy?"
James looked thoughtful.
"Well…let's say I have some space change. I know that I don't need it. So, on my way wherever, I see someone just ran out of money to use the pay phone. Aha! Here then arises the perfect opportunity to get rid of m loose change, so I give 'em my change".
James paused.
"See, I'm selfish and therefore not good.", James explained.
"But you just helped someone." Jacob deadpanned.
"Nevertheless, the intention was to benefit myself." James added in.
"I don't understand." The boy said. "You didn't help just yourself, but you helped another person. This then results in categorizing yourself as 'good'."
James shook his head.
"Humans are merely another animal, good s not in their nature. Regardless of your school tells you. Grow up, I did that action for myself. I used that woman to help me get what I wanted. I was instantly gratified, do you get me?"
Jacob nodded, but was still a little befuddled.
James sighed, "How old are you kid, five? Can't even understand this…." He muttered.
The 'kid', felt indignant.
"I'm in seventh grade you asshole." Jacob spat out.
James raised an eyebrow at the cursing.
"So you're like eleven?"
"TWELVE!"
James chuckled.
Jacob crossed his arms.
"And by the way, my name is Jacob."
"I didn't ask for your name, boy."
~x~
"I'm going out!" Jacob called out, Billy was in the kitchen. He was already at the open front door.
"Oh no your not litt-"
Jacob slammed the door and ran up the pathway, it was six-thirty and he was meeting James at seven fifteen. Jacob was annoyed, he was going to be late. It was a long walk from his place to the gas station.
"Late, my young friend?" drawled out the tall man.
James standing along the side of the building. The gas station was still open as was the little concession store. The brick wall were illuminated by a lamp that hung a across the way as well as the gas station's lighting.
Jacob huffed, sweat covered his forehead from the sprint he made to get here. He heaved on his knees and tried to catch his breath.
"Yeah well Billy was-"
"Jamie, who's the kid?" a voice said from next to James.
Jacob looked up, it was an imposing man with dark hair combed neat in a center part. His skin was like marble. His shoulder were squared, only adding to his larger appearance. The dark rings under his eyes showed many nights without sleep, and the worry lines in his forehead drained away his youth.
The man took a drag of what Jacob assumed was a cigarette.
The smell was different though.
James turned in the man's direction, "He's with me."
The man gave Jacob a scathing look, but after taking a long drag of his cigarette nodded in acceptance.
The man reached deep into his side pocket and pulled out a plastic bag fll of white pills that seemed green in the light.
"My reward." Piqued the man.
Jacob observed James body language, he was asserting some strange kind of dominance.
James smirked and pulled his pant leg up revealing a wrap with some needles attached to it, They were short things, but appeared to be full.
The man's eyes became needy.
James removed the needles from his ankle. There wee five total.
"Here ya go."
They exchanged, and Jacob witnessed the whole thing.
"You're a king man Jamie." The man fingered the needles with reverence. "You even take the time to measure it out for me."
"Yup." James said, shoving the pills into his own pocket.
The smell of the cigarette still tingled through the air.
Jacob eyed it warily as it burned down to the bunt. James caught him staring.
"Hey Ernie, why don't you let my boy here take a hit?" James said.
He did not give time for the other to answer, practically retching it from the other's fingers.
"Here boy, try it."
Jacob took it from James's long finger hesitantly. He lifted it to his lip feeling some of the heat from it. It was so much shorter by now he had to hold it between his index finger and his thumb. He pressed down on the white roll. He inhaled. Too deeply apparently and ended up hacking as it seemed to burn up in his nostrils as well as his throat.
James and the other man laughed at bit.
He shoved it back into James' hands.
"That's not a cigarette is it?"
James looked pleased.
"Not it's just a start."
~x~
Jacob curled into himself on the bed.
James was in the kitchen, this was the second night in a row he'd come over and stayed late.
Billy yelled but didn't do much to stop him so Jacob figured it was fine then. Billy always yelled, he always had something to say, but never had anything to back it up. All bark and no bite, Billy was like that. While Jacob had never seen Billy drink himself into to stupor, he had seen him wallow in absolute misery and succumb to his dream world of guilt. It was disgusting in Jacob's opinion.
Jacob remembered standing in his father's doorway, his father sitting in the dark bed room with his head hung low, the man grabbed at his head. These are his earliest memories: A man, broken by something beyond his control, unable to move forward. Disgusting, the self-paralysis of one's life and wallowing in the numbness of La Push, would not hold him back. He wanted to live, even if no one else knew. The cuts, being outside, and James freed him. Freed his twisted mind and showed him things. Every sniffle, every cough, every headache, and hungry feeling was worth it.
He wasn't there, in this town, in this room, in his head anymore. He was beyond all sense of reasoning.
James came back in the room with a carton of cigarettes.
Jacob all but snatched one from the box.
James flopped on the bed causing the mattress to wiggle. He put a cigarette between his own lips and lit it up, Jacob's was lit then after.
"You know you're supposed to smoke in bed." Jacob said, he was flirting a bit, or what he hoped was flirting. He sat up, looking at James with a playful look.
James shot the boy next to him a skeptical look.
"Yeah, well."
James didn't respond to his flirtatious tone.
Jacob was lying on his back looking at the ceiling.
James' shirt was off, he did not want to be caught looking.
The man laughed, Jacob couldn't see his face.
"You see something you want, boy?"
Jacob took a deep inhale, he puffed out. To think, just a month ago, he couldn't do this. Now he was a pro.
"Nope." , the boy said turning onto his side.
James, put the cigarette out in the ashtray next to the bed. He slid up behind the boy; his naked chest pressing warmth to Jacob's clothed back. James slid a hand up Jacob's shirt and rested it against the flat stomach beneath. Jacob gasped, and fought a losing battle against his flushing face.
"S-stop! I'll drop the cigarette…" Jacob sputtered.
A rumbling chuckle, James was always laughing at him. He felt like a fool.
"Give it here, it's practically gone anyway." The man said.
Jacob handed it over.
James' heat left him for seconds before it was there again. This time instead of going into his shirt, the hands fiddled with his pants. Jacob squirmed away after emitting a squeak. He rolled off the bed, and James scowled.
"What are you doing?"
James leaned over the edge of the glaring down at Jacob who was now sprawled on the floor.
"What are you that much a cherry? I was going to touch you." James placed a hand under his chin, a cross look came to his face causing his lips to drop into a frown.
"I'm not a cherry, but-"
"Then remove your clothes for me, show how much you aren't a little Virgin Mary." The man said, he looked a little hungry now.
Jacob looked down into his lap, he didn't want his first time to be like this casual and impersonal. He wasn't a complete moron James had been touchy for a while, and while Jacob wasn't adverse to the casual 'affection' bestowed upon him by James, he was wary about his own hopes.
Yes, Jacob had a small crush on James, a teeny one that wormed its way around his chest whenever the man kicked hi out when Victoria when on her way home, or when they went on deals together. He didn't want James to treat this so, ordinary. But he feared the loss of his attention even more so than where the need to be near this man was leading him. He placed his hands on the slightly open fly of his jeans.
"Stop being such a virgin, just take them off. Your shirt should go first."
James was ever inpatient.
Jacob's lip trembled a bit, as sweat gathered on his brow. He'd never done this before; let someone see his body for what it was. He was little scared, and a rush overtook him. This was excitingly frightfully new. He stood on his legs, his knees felt wobbly like a child learning to stand.
A whimper, followed by a boy's uncertainty.
"B-but, …I've never done this before…"
"Look, we both know you want this to happen. You've been making moony eyes at me even before we spoke." James said.
Jacob remained unconvinced.
The man sighed, "What do you want romance? You want me to tenderly whisper into your ear sweet nothings? That's a cherry for ya'. So needy. We've been here before, and you've said no. What's a taste of pleasure? Isn't experience nice to have. You wanna go find another virgin to have awkward first time sex, boy?"
The boy flushed.
"I didn't think so. Besides, I don't see a trail of people anxious for a bite of you, do you? Who else is going to want you."
The last sentence was clearly a statement, there was no inflection on the end to lessen the hurt, worming into Jacob's already deep insecurities.
"No one else cares right?"
That was it, the icing on top of the cake, and James knew it.
Hook, line, sinker.
"No." the boy admitted, "There's no one else who cares."
James smirked, he couldn't hold it in much longer.
A deep laugh, followed by a man's certainty.
"That's why I'm here to teach you boy. Now c'mere."
Jacob stepped toward the bed, James pulled him for a kiss. His tongue was clearly more talented than Jacob's, dominating even. It consumed him entirely and made him feel like he was floating.
Was it pleasurable?
Yes, but what did he have to compare it to.
Was it awkward?
Yes, but it was his first time.
Was Jacob naïve?
Yes, but James loved it.
~~~x
And that was the first time Jacob ever had sex with a man.
~~~x
He was released from the hospital the next week, even more signs of withdrawal were showing up but the hospital claimed that a rehab center would be more befitting for him.
Billy partially carted him into the teen rehabilitation program despite Jacob's want to just go home and sleep. His stuff was packed, the place was in Seattle, he was driven there.
Paul was in the car with him.
They held hands underneath a Jacket they placed between them. Jacob's palms were sweaty, and he was nervous. It had been only one week since he was forced to cut contact with him needs. Paul would've probably gotten him cigarettes but he didn't want to ask.
Paul was steely eyed and watched the road from out the window.
Jacob was doing the same, looking out the opposite window.
Edward gave him his number to call while he was at the center. He made sure to keep the number in his bag as soon as he could. He had no clue why Edward made him want to get to know him. He wanted Edward to be concerned.
"You know Jamie?"
How did Edward know James?
He would've wondered more except the car came to a stop.
A/N: James is a monster. It's so incredibly hard to write him. It's like stabbing myself in the brain. I have been taken advantage of by people like James who see a warrant youth and pick at them. Honestly to people like that it's a game, use, use and use. It's exhausting to realize when you've been an idiot. I'm not going to lie, Jacob is honestly a sad person, he can't deal with his isolation and drains it away the only way he knows how, James.
Jacob is not in love with Edward, I'm stating that now. No one caught on, but Jacob has a fascination that don't seem to belong in La Push and Forks. It's to soon for anything such a relationship to develop. He's a child and Edward is an adult (supposed to be). The relationship is there, but as of now it's a little unhealthy. So don't worry about the "gross"- ness. It supposed to make you feel that way, but it's also very sweet. _ confusing, no?
God, I just feel sorry for Paul, like super duper sorry. (Thank God I'm a sap for pleasant endings {not happy} This isn't a happy story, but keep in mind I'm a sap at heart. So everyone gets what they deserve full circle. KARMA!)
I hate Billy, he does not understand and in all honesty doesn't want to. Yelling doesn't fix things.
(RANT)Sry I need to rant. Wimbledon has me all hyped up. I cannot stand Roddick he's so rude on the court. And what's with the female commentators on the Williams sisters, all they do is whine, about how the Williams aren't that good. They just undermine all the accomplishments the two have made in tennis and women's tennis at that. They're part of a generation that drew attention to tennis once again. So psh! (END RANT)
Ugh. Sorry this one took way more time than I previously anticipated. I hated my original premise for like the first two drafts I came up with for this part. *bangs head* Okay next one should be longer. 6000 words or more, (I've got 2000 already) No one is just "fixed". It's a fight from here. Jacob finally really has do something for himself.
Next: Rehabilitation center, Edward on the phone, Paul alone, and Jacob spends Christmas very alone (or does he?).
If anyone read all this, thanks!
Thank you for your patience. Love to everyone who reviews, or peeks at this.