2 years earlier

"I'm really going to miss you Alice. I don't know how I'm going to be without you," I whispered into my best friend's ear which was icy cold, as Alice Cullen was not a human, she was a vampire. Her 'brother', was also a vampire. He left me 6 months ago after his 'brother' Jasper, and Alice's Partner, nearly killed me. Alice had seen me jump off a cliff, thinking I was dead she rushed to Forks, only to find, I was alive. She had stayed with me for the rest of Spring break and March. And today was the day she was returning to her family. Edward had not found out about this incident. Part of me was glad, but part of me was dismayed that he hadn't. Even to hear from him would have been better than the endless months of silence and no contact.

"Bella, I'm going to miss you too, but in 6 months I'll come and visit you at College. Think of the fun that we will have. Going shopping, meeting cute guys" I flinched. No one could compete with Edward, and they never would, "Maybe not the guys but we'll have slumber parties, moan about school, you can get a nice job, the whole routine." She said smiling, though I could tell she really didn't want to leave, in her butterscotch eyes. But she missed Jasper too much, I couldn't hold her here. I wouldn't try to either.

"You have to promise me, every 6 months we have to meet up, or sooner. I can't handle not seeing you Alice, I love you too much," I whimpered. Wiping my eyes with my sleeve. She suddenly zoned in and out.

"Yes, for many years to come, I will visit you, the future is certain of that. Because we are both so adamant of it happening." She grinned. The end was coming; this could hurt more than he brother leaving me, because I was letting it happen. "You have my number right, anything, anything at all, call me. Even if it is about nothing, and you just miss me, call me," she said gesturing to her cell phone and to mine. I nodded.

"As soon as I go to college, you are going to be on my next of kin at the hospital, don't worry" I smiled bitterly.

"So I guess I'll be hearing allot of Alaska ER," she laughed, if she could cry she would have.

"Come on Alice," I walked over to Carlisle's black Mercedes and held open the driver's door. She slowly got in. "I'd tell you to say hey to everybody but then he would find out," she nodded sadly, "He can't find out, please Alice. He can't know. But thank you, thank you so much for this," I gestured to the photo of Edward that sat on my bedside table and on a silver locket around my neck, "Call me when you get there." I cried as she started the engine, and closed the door, winding down the window electronically.

"I promise Bella, love you sweetie," she said. "Remember to call Angela," she said. "Bye Bella," was the last thing that she said to me and she drove away. I could feel the tears creeping up but I took a deep breath and I clutched the locket. I pulled out my cell phone and dialled the number that I just put into the phone that Alice had bought me.

"Hello?" I cheery voice answered.

"Hey Angela, I just thought I'd let you know, I'm coming with you in the fall," I whispered.

"Really? Wow, I can't believe it. You got into Alaska, that's amazing. We are going to have so much fun, and Ben's coming too."

"Yeah Angela, I can't wait," I said, trying to sound excited. But I didn't need to pretend, because that was when I was going to see Alice again.

Present day (2 years later)

"Come on Bella, if we are late for this lecture, we are so screwed," Angela said, pulling on her jeans. I pulled the pillow over my head, trying to get back to sleep. I didn't feel like going anywhere today, today of all days. Then the inevitable happened, as soon as 8 am struck. I got 5 text messages at the same time. One from Mike and Jess, another from Dad, Mum, Jacob and of course Alice. Each saying along the same lines; 'Happy 20th Birthday Bella!". I still hated my birthday, even after 2 years. I groaned, not to mention I felt crap.

"Can't I just, you know blow off the lecture today? I mean it's just the first one, what's going to happen?" I asked, sitting up. She glared at me. "I feel really bad Ange,"she didn't relent. "Fine, but if I keel over and collapse I'm going to blame you," I said, pointing my finger at her. She smiled. The locket swung as I stood up. The room went momentarily black as it usually did when I stood up too quickly.

"Are you ok Bella?" she asked, with genuine concern, as she brushed her hair.

"Yeah, I'm good." I lied. Going to my wardrobe. I pulled on anything. It was a navy blue sweater and a white mini skirt, black tights and white pumps. I pulled a brush through my hair and grabbed my bag. Angela was waiting in the apartment living room. "Right let's go,"

"Aren't you going to have anything to eat?" she asked, raising her left eyebrow.

"No, I'm not hungry," I said honestly. I checked the mail. Three birthday cards and a letter in Alice's handwriting. That was odd. If there was something important she would call me. Maybe it was more pictures of Edward. I'll open it after class.

"Really Bella? I haven't seen you eat anything since yesterday lunch." She said, opening the front door.

"Thanks big brother but I ate at work last night." I said, closing the door behind us.

"Ok then," she said. We had our lecture all the way across the campus so we walked quickly admiring the nature as we did, the leaves on the floor, kicking them when we could, laughing when Ben met us half way there. Just as we were about to go into the classroom, my phone vibrated. Alice. I answered it in a hushed tone.

"Hey Babes, what's wrong?"

"Bella, thank god. I need to ask you something, do you feel like you're going to faint or anything?" she asked, so quickly I nearly missed it.

"Um no why?" I asked, sitting down at my seat at the top of the stairs, next to Garry, one of my friends. I nodded in hello. He smiled back.

"Good," she breathed a sigh of relief. "So the big 2-0, how do you feel? Older, wiser?" she mocked.

"Ha, ha Alice, very funny. Look I have to go I'll speak to you later, bye"

"Wait Car-" she began but I had already turned off my cell.

"So ladies and Gentlemen, you are here to study American History from 1500 to the present day. So please open your notebooks and be ready for one of the longest lectures of your entire life," Professor Rogers joked. We laughed. The lecture passed, like they always did. Full of notes and little jokes at some of the British people's expense.

Angela wrote furiously, as did Garry and Ben. I did too, but in the last ten minutes I began to lose my focus. An unusual thing for me. The lights were throbbing with my head and every single noise was as sensitive as a gong chime to a hangover. I placed my head on the desk. When the lecture finished, the class got up, all of us had writer's cramp. But that was not that was troubling me. When I got up, the room started to change colours, white appeared as yellow and it was going black. Slowly losing my vision.

"Bella?" I heard someone say. I was going, I could feel it.

"Call Alice," was the last thing I said before tumbling down the long flight of stairs and into unconsciousness. Alice had seen this. That's why she had called, but that wasn't the first time that I fainted and fell down stairs, there must be something more, something else that was going to happen. I was in the darkness for so long; I thought I was dead, before the light came back to me. It just happened. The next thing I knew I was lying on some uncomfortable sheets in a plastic mattress. In a white washed ward by the looks of it. Crap. Hospitals. Angela was sipping some coffee next to me whilst reading her history notes. I noticed that my left wrist was covered in plaster. Great. Just great.

"Ange, how long was I out for?" I asked, looking for Alice, or my dad.

"An hour, but they put you under for some sleep. This is all my fault. I should have let you stay home," she said guiltily.

"Hey, I didn't think I would actually faint did I?" touched my neck, for reassurance as I usually did in these situations. The locket sat there again, unmoved, I smiled. "Can you pass me my bag?" I asked. She did. I got my cell phone out and turned it on. There were 15 missed calls and 3 text messages. They were all from Alice. I opened one of the texts. Get out of there! Carlisle there, he's going to see you! Get OUT! I froze. Carlisle was here. In this hospital. Probably not my Doctor but if he was here, there was a risk that he was here too. But they did matriculate allot.

"Bella? Are you ok?" Angela asked.

"Has the doctor been here already?" I managed to stumble out. She looked concerned.

"No but I think that he's about to." She pointed to the door as the handle slowly went down.

"No!" I breathed.

The blonde doctor opened the door; his expression was confused and scared at the same time. It looked like he had been running, the silver folder, gripped tightly in his hand. If he could be, he would be panting but of course he wouldn't.

"Bella. Oh thank god you are ok," He sighed with relief as he slowly closed the door behind him. His face became immediately more relaxed, more professional suddenly. Angela looked between us quickly. I tried to smile, but I couldn't my face was frozen with fear. My heart was beating fast; as I'm sure he could hear clearly.

"Hello Carlisle," I muttered. "Well I should hope I'm ok. It was just a little fall after all, no harm done," I whispered the last three words, as I looked down at my plastered wrist. He smiled at me.

"I think I need some more coffee, I'll be back soon Bella." Angela said, giving me and Carlisle some privacy. No! I really didn't need to be alone with him, which was when the questions would start. I was right.

"So Bella, have your next of kin been contacted?" he asked, opening the file. Seeing the two names down there. "Ahh. I see. Angela Weber and Alice Cullen," he frowned at me. It was her current telephone number too. Then he smiled warmly.

"So you are the reason Alice was so anxious that we should not come here." He smiled as he sat on the end of my bed; I moved my legs so that I had them crossed.

"I guess so," I whispered twiddling my thumbs.

"So am I meeting Alice's 6 month retreats?" he asked smiling.

"Well yeah."

"Bella, what's the matter with you?" He said, placing the file on the bed and rubbing his temples with his forefingers.

"Well that's a nice thing to say to someone who has just fallen down stairs." I smiled ruefully; he looked at me, in a worried way.

"This file says you haven't been eating properly, it also shows that you are underweight and even I can tell ,just by looking at you that you aren't looking well. You're a mess." He said gently. I frowned. I looked a lot worse when Alice first saw me. "Why aren't you eating Bella?"

"I just forget to sometimes," I said, looking at the floor.

"You're forgetting to take something that is keeping you alive?" he said tapping his fingers on the end of the bed. I looked at his eyes, they were dark, and you couldn't see his pupils.

"How's that going for you then," I remarked, pointing to his eyes. He sighed.

"When was your last period?" he asked, as if he already knew the answer.

"A couple of months ago but that's not really the point is it?" I made a move to get up.

"Bella, you are killing yourself," he said sensitively. Getting up slowly.

"I'm fine honestly. Can I please go now?" I asked, now angry. He moved out of the way of the door, I had my hand on the handle when he muttered loud enough for me to hear.

"Edward's not going to be happy about this" I froze. Then I slammed the door loudly. He looked at me strangely.

"He's not going to find out about this," I said matter of factly. He shook his head sadly.

"I can't promise that, even though he isn't with us, odds are he will find out that you are here," he said quickly

"Please Carlisle, he can't. You can't tell him. Please! What happened to doctor, patient confidentiality? Wait he isn't here?" That news startled me.

"No, he's not with us, but he will be visiting in a couple of weeks," he frowned, and then sighed "But you are right, I will not tell him or anyone else that I have seen you here."

"Alice will know, you can tell her." I smiled, knowing that part of the battle was won. "Please can I go now?"

"Fine, but I am going to check in on you on my way home." He laughed. I smiled.

"Ok, the address is on file,"

"Bella come here," he said opening his arms. I went to him, it had been too long. He was as cold as he ever was. I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I missed you," I whispered. It was true. I had missed them all, the family I had nearly had. He laughed stiffly.

"I'll see you later. Now don't work tonight, and take the rest of the day off. I'll be around at about 7pm." He looked me in the eyes, as if to say 'I will find you anyway'

"Yes doctor," I gave him a salute. I was at the door when he said one more thing to me.

"Happy Birthday Bella and he smiled. I smiled at him again and went to find Angela.