Disclaimer: I own no part of Stargate Atlantis, but if John Sheppard ever comes up for sale he's mine so get in line! I'm just borrowing the characters to have some fun with!

Sheppard stretched out on his stomach on the grassy outcrop, viewing the village below through his field binoculars. He'd parked the jumper some two clicks away to avoid unwanted attention, a fact McKay had bent his ear about all the way, but that he now felt justified in doing. These people were primitive even in comparison to most of the other technologically challenged societies they'd encountered in the Pegasus Galaxy. Their dwellings were basic, round, stone built and thatched, and a fire burned at the centre of the village where large quantities of food sat waiting to be cooked. Though the village was bustling with life, he could only see women and children there, another thing that made him glad they'd set the jumper down at a distance.

'Well, they look friendly enough...' he mused, giving the place one last scan.

'You mean they look female enough,' McKay countered, studying them for himself. 'You have such a one track mind.'

Throwing the scientist a withering look, the major tucked his binoculars back into his Tac-Vest. "Only women, huh? I hadn't noticed; I was too busy assessing their stage of development and any potential threat they might pose. Guess we know what you were checking out, Rodney," he growled.

McKay fish mouthed, but couldn't come up with a suitable retort. Instead, he threw Sheppard one of his now infamous scowls, as they all moved away from the edge of the drop.

'Look, you're the one who said we should come here,' the major reminded him. 'You said there were structures and power signatures that suggested a link to the Ancients – so far all we've seen are some cattle sheds and this village. Not very 'Ancient', are they?'

Rodney held up a finger. 'Actually, what I said was I'd detected power fluctuations that suggested Ancient tech, but the settlements visible were far more primitive. And I distinctly remember saying the energy bursts were sporadic at best. It might not be anything we can use.'

Sheppard planted his hands on his hips and frowned at the scientist, who suddenly found the readings on his tablet utterly fascinating. 'You said we "had to" come out here and check this planet out,' the major growled. 'Are you telling me we've wasted our time?'

'No...I'm just saying you shouldn't get too excited because it might amount to...well...nothing,' Rodney replied, looking sheepish.

Folding his arms and resting them on the butt of his P-90, Sheppard exchanged a bemused glance with Ford and Teyla. 'I'll try to rein in my enthusiasm. Thanks for the warning.'

'You're welcome,' McKay said, a split second before spotting Sheppard's sardonic smirk. Annoyed to be out-snarked, he shook his head and studied his tablet again.

'Okay. Now we're all clear about what we may or may not find, I suggest we take this initial meeting carefully,' Sheppard announced, addressing the whole team. 'Teyla and I will go down to the village and open up communications. McKay, you and Ford should try to track down those energy spikes and check out whatever's causing them. We'll rendezvous at the jumper in one hour to radio back to Atlantis with our findings.'

'Oh, sure. You talk to the hot women while I do all the work,' McKay muttered. 'That never gets old. How come I never get to talk to women?'

'Because I don't want you there cramping my style, Rodney,' Sheppard confessed.

Again, it took McKay a few seconds longer than he would ever admit to pick up on the major's tone. 'Oh, sure...go ahead and laugh, but how do you know I'm not exactly the kind of man those women are looking for?'

'Well, even if you are, you're the genius around here as you're so fond of reminding us,' Sheppard pointed out. 'And that makes you the most qualified person to track down those random signals, right?'

'Well...er...yes, but,' he floundered.

Sheppard's hazel-green eyes pinned him, flashing with mild annoyance. 'So, you can see my point?'

Looking pained, McKay nodded. 'I suppose...when you put it like that.'

'Wouldn't it be better for us all to stick together, Sir?' Ford grunted, evidently none too pleased with the arrangements.

'Well, I think two visitors are enough for this village. We don't want those nice womenfolk down there feeling intimidated on our first encounter with them. Right, Teyla?' Sheppard explained, looking to his female colleague for support.

Teyla nodded emphatically. 'I think it would be wise for as few of us as possible to enter the village until these people know they can trust us. That way, they will feel less vulnerable.'

'See,' Sheppard smirked. Then, pulling Ford aside, he added, 'Besides, this way we can save time...and someone has to look after McKay. He's not so good with the guns and the shooting stuff.' To demonstrate, he drew his M9, screwed his eyes shut, and proceeded to do a convincing impression of McKay's firing technique.

Ford smirked, nodding knowingly. 'Understood, Sir.'

'I am still here, you know,' Rodney snapped, scowling as he unpacked his scanner from his Tac-Vest pocket.

'And you're not too good at exchanging pleasantries, either,' Sheppard added, strolling over to him. 'That's why you're a tech geek and not a diplomat.'

'The two things aren't mutually exclusive,' McKay grumbled. 'I can do the...the...the talking thing when necessary.'

'Sure you can,' Sheppard smirked again. 'But today, I've decided to let Teyla take the lead with the "talking thing". Let's head out.'

Sheppard and Teyla picked their way down to the village from the higher ground, walking quietly into the settlement, much to the obvious amazement of the people living there. As he had suspected from his observations, only women wandered out to face them, some clutching children close to them as if they expected the strangers to try to steal them away. It seemed they were unused to visitors.

'I guess the men must be out huntin' and fishin',' Sheppard whispered to his companion, giving the ladies now gathering around them one of his winning smiles.

Teyla raised an eyebrow. 'I am not so sure, Major. Do you not think it strange that most of these children also appear to be female?'

He scanned the crowd again. Teyla was right; other than a few grubby, unattended babies in a wooden pen who looked as though they might be male, the other children were definitely all females.

He didn't have a chance to voice his opinion, as one woman, one who looked older than most of the others, strode out to meet them. Her long grey locks, partially pinned back, trailed behind her as she swept toward them across the dusty ground. She exuded an air of authority, but not hospitality, and he sensed they were about to make the formal introductions. She eyed Sheppard from head to foot as she came to a halt, her forehead furrowing with consternation. Then, she addressed Teyla.

'Who are you? What do you want here with your guns?'

Teyla looked to Sheppard for instruction. None of the women carried weapons themselves, in fact they bore nothing but the crudely woven clothes they were wearing that he could see, so he gave a surreptitious nod to let his Athosian companion know he was happy for her to do their talking for them, before unclipping his guns and laying them down in the dirt in front of him. Teyla followed his example before speaking.

'Do not be afraid. I am Teyla Emmagen, and this is Major John Sheppard. We come in friendship, and in the hope of opening trade links between our peoples.'

'We have no need for new trading partners. We have everything we could ever want,' the woman snapped, looking the major over again. He noticed she hadn't introduced herself, something he took as a sign things were not going well. Normally, when Teyla used that soothing voice and gave out their names, people felt safe enough to return the gesture. Not so this time, it seemed.

Teyla carried on regardless of the cool reception. 'Major Sheppard's people are new to this galaxy, and have travelled from very far away. They are in need of good friends, and I am certain we could offer you something of value that you cannot get from other traders. We have power sources and technologies, and –'

The woman bent down and picked up Sheppard's P-90, examining it. Though alarmed, Sheppard forced down his instinct to snatch it back, allowing her time to study it. 'Major, you say? Is that a name or a title?' she asked Teyla.

Teyla shared a look with Sheppard, but he allowed her to explain. 'It is his rank. He is our military commander. Please...be careful with that. It is very dangerous. We do not wish you to harm yourself.'

Others in the group gathered around, looking at the weapon this older woman held and picking up the other items Teyla and the major had surrendered to them.

When Sheppard returned his attention to the spokeswoman, he found the woman's eyes on him again. The hairs on the back of his neck bristled. Something was wrong here. He didn't know what, but his sense of self-preservation said they should leave – now.

'Military commander?' the woman said, squinting at him. 'Then, he is a warrior?'

It occurred to him now that they weren't addressing him directly, but discussing him with Teyla. It seemed her instincts were right that he should be more concerned there were no males in the village other than infants – they were treating him as if he wasn't there. No, it was worse than that, they were treating him as if he were some kind of second rate human. Again, the feeling they needed to leave tugged at him, but he convinced himself to have a little more patience. It was possibly just a harmless cultural difference.

'Yes...a great warrior,' Teyla answered enthusiastically, clearly believing she had found a way to relate with these people at last. 'He has fought many enemies, as have I. If you require training to help you and your men protect your village –'

'We have no need for such things,' the woman interrupted. 'We're simple people. All we need is good food, sturdy homes, and healthy offspring to keep our society thriving.'

Sheppard wasn't sure he liked the way she eyed him again when she talked about healthy offspring. He wished he hadn't handed over his weapons quite so readily now. That had been a dumb move; he'd allowed his sense of chivalry to overrule his common sense, something he inwardly cursed himself for. The woman held his gun as if she was familiar with weaponry, and he now got the feeling these women were more than capable of handling themselves in a fight. He decided it was time to wrap up this conversation and go find their friends.

'Well, we have technologies that might help you to grow better crops, and weapons you can use for hunting,' he offered. 'But if you really feel you have everything you need, we'll just take back our things and leave you good people in peace.'

A gasp issued forth from the crowd, and he automatically knew he'd made a terrible mistake. He glanced at Teyla, who looked as confused by their reaction as he was. Some swift back peddling seemed to be in order.

'I'm sorry if I caused any offence,' he quickly added. 'That wasn't my intention. Look, you people obviously aren't interested in anything we have to offer, so Teyla and I are going to head out and leave you to your business.'

A woman to the right of the spokeswoman stepped toward him, raising the barrel of his sidearm and prodding it into his chest. 'Stop speaking to her.'

He raised his hands, signalling compliance. Around them, the women began to press in, eyeing him and whispering to each other, some even touching him. He got the distinct feeling they were appraising him as if he was the main item at a cattle market. 'Teyla, now would be a good time for you to do more of that talking thing you do!' he hissed, as they crowded too close for comfort.

'As a show of good faith, you can keep the weapons. Just let Major Sheppard and I go on our way,' she suggested hopefully. Sheppard was painfully aware of the alarm edging her tone. When Teyla panicked, it was definitely a bad sign.

The tension in the group mounted; nothing Teyla said made a difference. A space opened up around him, Teyla somehow absorbed into the crowd, and a few of the women began to circle Sheppard – big women, tall and broad types, who looked like they pulled carts for a hobby, each of them carrying what looked like crudely crafted clubs. They swung them casually at their sides like it was the most natural thing in the world, their eyes fixed on him the whole time. He sensed the approaching attack, but had no way of knowing where it would come from first. Reaching for his knife, he felt nothing but the space on his belt where it had once been clipped, leaving him completely defenceless. Surprisingly, it was the woman in front of him who initially launched herself, a blatant assault in his full view. He ducked then caught her upraised arm, applying pressure to her wrist to make her release her club, only realising his mistake when he heard Teyla call out to him and felt the sharp crack on the nape of his neck. A flash of bright white light in his vision floored him. She was the decoy, you idiot! he thought, clutching the base of his skull as he curled up in the dust.

He fought to stay conscious despite his brain's best efforts to shut down. He could just make out a group of women restraining Teyla, and he heard the village elder speak to her. 'You say you come to trade, Teyla Emmagan. Here are our terms. You hand the man over to us for punishment, and we let you live. Is that agreeable?'

'No, it is not,' Teyla growled, her teeth gritted as she strained against her captors. 'Major Sheppard does not understand your ways and meant no harm. You should accept our apologies and release him. He has the right to make one mistake, surely?'

The woman laughed, the others crowded around them joining in. The noise echoed in Sheppard's aching head, making it pulse with nauseating pain. He scrunched his eyes shut and waited for the wave to pass.

'He's a man,' he heard another voice shout. 'He has no rights here.' A rumbled of agreement supported the statement.

Then, the familiar voice of the older woman chimed in once again. 'He has spoken directly to a village elder. No man is allowed to do that. For this, he will be punished.'

'He did not know your rules,' Teyla protested again. 'You cannot punish him for just one unintentional error.'

'We can, and then we will teach him our customs so he will know what is expected,' the woman responded, matter-of-fact.

'You talk as if you plan to keep him here. I will not leave without him,' Teyla insisted, dragging those holding her toward him a few paces. Despite her tiny frame, Teyla was unexpectedly strong. Sheppard had learned that himself the hard way. She'd kicked his butt more times than he cared to remember when they'd sparred.

This time, the major knew even Teyla's strength and determination weren't enough to help him. He managed to push himself into a sitting position, the village spinning around him. 'Teyla,' he croaked, his voice hoarse and unfamiliar amidst the ringing in his head. 'Get out of here.'

She shook her head, refusing to comply. 'I will not leave you, John!' she insisted, her words ragged with emotion.

Teyla was the most amazingly loyal person Sheppard had ever met, but right now that loyalty wasn't helping either of them one scrap. 'Teyla, if you stay, you're gonna get yourself killed, and that's not gonna solve anything. Head back and let Elizabeth know what's happened. She'll know what to do.'

'But, John!'

'That's an order!' he shouted, regretting it as the pain increased with the raising of his voice. Not that he had to worry about it for long. His audacity ensured the delivery of another thump to his temple, and that one knocked him out cold.